Many of us have been on WTM together for years. Being of a certain age old timers might understand this

[Lynn in al]

My middle son and fiancee announced they were going to have a baby and I don't think I'm ready to be a grandmother.  Baby boy graduates hs and leaves for the military and baby girl is about to be 13 which is proving to have its own set of challenges.  Please tell me in the midst of all this change this year I will be ready to be good nana while getting through baby girls teen years and the changes this year will bring.  I think fiancee was disappointed I wasn't jumping up and down ready to celebrate.  Kwim.  

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'm absolutely not there yet, but I think being a grandparent is a pretty good gig usually.  You often get all the fun without all the responsibility (stuff like sleepless nights).  I just look at my dad and how he is with our kids.  He's a completely different grandparent than what he was like as a parent. 

[BlsdMama]

10 minutes ago, Lynn in al said:

My middle son and fiancee announced they were going to have a baby and I don't think I'm ready to be a grandmother.  Baby boy graduates hs and leaves for the military and baby girl is about to be 13 which is proving to have its own set of challenges.  Please tell me in the midst of all this change this year I will be ready to be good nana while getting through baby girls teen years and the changes this year will bring.  I think fiancee was disappointed I wasn't jumping up and down ready to celebrate.  Kwim.  

You will do so great!  Our surprise grandbaby turns one today! I was 40 when he was born.  He's beautiful, he's perfect, and I think I might love the grandma thing  even as much as the mom thing.  Almost.  I get all the joy and very little of the work! ;)

[PrincessMommy]

My youngest was 4 days away from turning 12 when my oldest had her first.  I also wasn't ready to be a grandma.  She was still working towards her PhD (still is actually) and so I started babysitting 3x per week.  It was an adjustment because I still haven't had the "empty nest" years.  I think I'm a pretty good grandma.  Probably not the best, but I think that's partly because I do see them so often.  My youngest LOVES being an uncle. He's the cool uncle since he's not that old or busy with his own life like the older siblings are.   My grandkids (I now have 3) love their uncle T. 

[Annie G]

Youngest kid had just turned 13 when dd had our first grandchild. I know exactly how you feel- you’re still raising kids and not quite prepared to morph into grandma mode. But it’ll happen- before you know it, things will probably fall right into place.  I totally felt the same way, right up until I watched dd transition into someone’s mother. 

 

[Mothersweets]

My youngest was 9 when my grandson was born. He is 2 now and it has been a lot of fun. Don't worry - the good feelings will come and you'll be a great grandma!

[wintermom]

2 hours ago, Lynn in al said:

My middle son and fiancee announced they were going to have a baby and I don't think I'm ready to be a grandmother.  Baby boy graduates hs and leaves for the military and baby girl is about to be 13 which is proving to have its own set of challenges.  Please tell me in the midst of all this change this year I will be ready to be good nana while getting through baby girls teen years and the changes this year will bring.  I think fiancee was disappointed I wasn't jumping up and down ready to celebrate.  Kwim.  

 

I lost my user name in the transition to the new forums, but I'm an old-time WTM person as well as being kind of old at almost 51, with a 12 year-old still homeschooling with me. I think I'd be feeling a little weird and need some time to wrap my head around the idea of fulfilling a new role as a grandparent. Add in the already intense role of preparing my own dc to finish up school and launch into the world. I'm already exhausted. You will be a new mil pretty much the same time as being a new grandma.

All the best with both those roles. Just be gentle with yourself. It might actually work in your favour as mil that you'll be too busy to be a controlling or interfering mil. Your son and dil will have to check your calendar to see when you are available to help out; they won't be able to assume you are dying to jump in and babysit.  ;)

[KatieJ]

My youngest two were 14 and 15 and still homeschooled when I became a grandma. DD had been married for 5years by then and we were very excited. He lived in another state,  but we lived for visits at their house or our!s. He about to turn 15 and is excited about drivers training.

we now have 12 grands and they are so much fun!

Don’t overthink it,  let it happen, it’ll be a grand adventure. 

[katilac]

2 hours ago, Lynn in al said:

 I think fiancee was disappointed I wasn't jumping up and down ready to celebrate.   

 

 

Time to smile, buy some cute gifts, and generate some enthusiasm! Ready or not, here the baby comes. Share in their joy. You will do just fine, grandbabies don't need anything but love. 

[KungFuPanda]

It’s OK to burst into tears. Just tell the mother-to-be that it’s because you’re happy. 

[Tina]

My dd was just 17 when she became an aunt, and I was 60.  I"m glad my ds and his wife didn't wait to have kids, but he was 24, too.  They'll figure it out.

my mil was too old to ever have our kids overnight when they were young, so she missed out on any time alone with them in the early years.  glad i will get that time as dil asks.  :)

Just enjoy.  

[stephanier.1765]

My middle son is also expecting a baby and I am truly over the moon thrilled.  However, I don't have the other life issues that are on going for you. There is plenty of time to be a grandmother and I hope to milk it.

Maybe the baby will be something you and dd can bond over. A subject to talk over when rest of life becomes too dramatic. I'll keep my fingers crossed that the teen years will be easier than expected and you'll have all the time you need to dote on the new family member.

[catz]

The best thing about being the grandparent is you get to decide how much you want to be involved.  If you want to oggle on Sundays and hand crying, wet diaper baby back, go right ahead!  I'm sure it's harder to be super hands on grandparent when you still have minor kids at home.  I would try and generate some enthusiasm for their benefit.  I'm sure it was a unexpected announcement and in the middle of a bunch of other changes.   

I'm in my late 40's and I don't want to be a grandma for at least 10 years yet.  My oldest is 17.  LOL.  

[Liza Q]

I'm 52, my youngest is almost 18 and graduating this spring so I am retiring from homeschooling and feel ready for all kinds of new stuff. My oldest is 27 and has been married for a year and I have just admitted to myself that I think it would be pretty sweet to be a grandma!

She is not intending to have children quite yet, as they haven't been married that long. But she is looking for a new job that would offer maternity leave so they are definitely thinking ahead!

[wintermom]

I forgot to say, "Congratulations!!!"  Hope all goes well with the pregnancy and you enjoy shopping for adorable baby clothes!

[school17777]

Congratulations on your new upcoming role.  How fun it will be to share time with a grandchild and your youngest dd!