Need a fresh start: 1yo & school

[Aubrey]

Y'all are being so patient w/ me this yr. I'm sorry to have to ask the same thing again, but your ideas are so good, & the last one--moving down to 1 nap/day--worked great. Until it stopped working.

 

You know the deal: 1yo screams or destroys. So we school during her nap. She's down to 1hr/day.

 

I need a) suggestions for getting her to sleep longer &/or more often &

 

b) suggestions for schooling w/ her, around her, thr her, lol.

 

Her attention span is about 5 min. She wasn't trained to sit in a playpen (I'd never used one at all w/ the big 2), so it seems a little late now, kwim? I can convince her to sit there for 5-10 min on a good day.

 

She'll watch a movie, but I really, REALLY don't want to do that. At least, not enough to get sch done, kwim?

 

I've tried starting w/ something for her from Slow & Steady, spending time reading to her, etc. She likes this, but isn't any happier afterward.

 

I've tried putting her in her high chair w/ toys or snacks or puzzles or crayons or playdough. The playdough offends her. I figure she must have tried to eat it when I wasn't looking (it's homemade, so I'm not too worried), but she doesn't know what to do w/ it, & she's not really interested when I try to show her.

 

She either eats the snacks in 5 min or throws them on the ground & screams. She likes to color but needs help. As in, she gets frustrated that the crayons won't color w/out me helping her figure out how hard to press down.

 

She loves to play outside, but the courtyard doesn't have a fence, so I have to stay out there w/ my eyes on her because she could run out in the parking lot & likes to climb the stairs to other people's apts. Besides that, between the wind, other dc playing, dirt, lack of adequate furniture, it's hard to do school outside. And then, of course, there are neighbors who want to sit & chat. Since it's a communal area, it's really hard to actually focus on school. If that makes sense.

 

I'd like to have 30-60 min to do science or hist 3-4 days/wk. Some interruption isn't a problem, but constant interruption is.

 

I'd like about 20-30 min/day to do math w/ ds7 & 10-15 min/day for dd5. Another 10-20 min/day for dd5's phonics book & 5-10 min for handwriting for both, either together or separate.

 

Ds7 reads all the time, so if he doesn't have dedicated time for that, I'm not too worried, but I would like for him to have 20-30 min/day for Latin--it includes some reading, grammar, history, art study, etc.

 

Reading to them from the SL curric or FIAR or something would be great. I figure 10-30 min, depending on the book or activity.

 

This adds up to 4-5 hrs/day, depending on how much we can do together & how much they switch off for. Honestly, 3 hrs would be awesome at this point.

 

All the things I've read, though, don't really work for us. Dd1 is too young for some activities; dh is gone too much for others. The apt is too small or laid out wrong or whatever. Finding websites w/ a bunch of suggestions is exciting & then I read down the lists & find one after another thing that won't work & I start to wonder if it's just me, lol.

 

There is one other thing. I have a neighbor who watches kids, & she's offered to watch 1yo for free. I'd thought about paying her to watch 1yo before she offered, but obviously $'s tight. More than that, though, I don't like putting anything like that into a relationship. It seems like somebody always ends up misunderstanding something, & there's tension. On top of that, of course, is the fear that I'm a failure if I send 1yo somewhere else for a few hrs so we can do sch.

 

When my neighbor offered to watch 1yo, I suggested that we switch--she take mine twice/wk & then I take her 3yo dd twice/wk. I figure on those 2 days I can do FIAR w/ all 5 or just let mine play or maybe let dd5 & dd1 play while ds & I work on math or Latin.

 

I have this feeling that ultimately, all of this would just make the situation harder, though, & my friend is pg, due in Dec, so I figure it's so temporary (& she's a little hormonal) that it might be just as well to leave this one alone & instead just enjoy her co while our dc are outside together.

 

So, another epic post. Sorry. WWYD?

[Melissa B]

When ds was 1 we had to walk and school. I would put ds and dd in a double stroller and the older two would walk and school.

 

We would walk about 3 miles per day. Sometimes I would read and oldest dd would push. I would read history, literature or science books. We always did memory work and recitation. I would bring a folder that sat on top of the stroller and we reviewed foreign language vocabulary, sang songs, etc. We did nature study while walking - everything I could fit in. I also counted it as phys ed. :)

[Wendy in WI]

I'd try a few things:

 

 

-don't give up on the playpen even though you didn't use it with the other kids. You'll probably have some screaming for a few days, but if there is screaming when your little one isn't in the playpen, is there a big difference? Maybe save some special toys for when it is playpen time. I know you are in an apartment and space is at a premium, but it has always worked best when here when playpen time could be in a room when the little one is alone. Start with 10-15 minutes and work up from there. We started our 5th at 10 months in the playpen (later than we usually do), it took about a week or so, but she got the hang of it. She just turned one and now spends about 30-45 minutes twice each day in there. It is good for her - her attention span is much longer in there than anywhere else.

 

-can you swap something else besides childcare with your friend? She watches your little one for an hour a day and you make her a meal or two a week? or get her groceries? or do some cleaning?

 

-will the 1yo play with the older kids? can you all take turns spending time with your little one? Then while one older kids is with the baby, you can do school with the other.

 

-do school in the bathroom! We have really done this here. Whenever I have 12-36 month old that little one spends time in the tub each day. We do whatever school we can either in the room or just outside the door. Our bathroom is not large, either.

 

-dont' forget - this too shall pass! It always seems like a stage is lasting forever and then I look back and it is gone.

 

Blessings,

Wendy

[Emmy]

It is a really tough situation. I am trying to think about what I did/do with my youngest and it just amounts to "keep trying". He is 26 months right now so about 9 months ahead of yours. Basically this is what I do at that stage (which he is sort of still in!)

 

- pull out blocks or duplos or whatever toy of the day for him, and see how long it lasts. if he comes to me I try to direct him back to it, when it gets old, I switch to a different toy.

 

- put him in his high chair with a constant stream of cheerios

 

- hold him on my lap while I teach (not my fave)

 

- naptime (he doesn't nap anymore now though)

 

Mainly it's the first thing I listed though and I end up rotating him as much as I can when he gets antsy. When the blocks won't do - we pick them up and I switch him to board books, after that we try the snack thing, after that we try another toy, etc. I never play pen trained my kids but I did make a habit of putting them in their cribs with board books and a couple stuffed animals from the time they could sit up and sometimes that would buy me a few minutes.

 

I basically found that if I just kept trying those 5 minute time blocks eventually stretched to 7 minutes then 10 then 12....and when I get desperate he watches PBS for half an hour (not great I know - but I have 4 kids close together and I do get desperate at times...)

[Aubrey]

do school in the bathroom! We have really done this here. Whenever I have 12-36 month old that little one spends time in the tub each day. We do whatever school we can either in the room or just outside the door. Our bathroom is not large, either.

 

LOL--I was just looking at the bathtub today, thinking, I wonder....

 

The older ones do take turns playing w/ her right now, but...I guess I'm afraid of depending on that too much, kwim?

 

The playpen advice is helpful. I didn't know it was better to put it in a different room, although that makes sense. That way she's not just looking at us & wishing to be in the middle of whatever we're up to. I'll have to think about that!

[Aubrey]

and when I get desperate he watches PBS for half an hour (not great I know - but I have 4 kids close together and I do get desperate at times...)

 

Nope, I'd kill for PBS right now, but our TV is...I don't know...not antenna-ed up. I wish they sold Sesame St videos!

[Mommy22alyns]

Nope, I'd kill for PBS right now, but our TV is...I don't know...not antenna-ed up. I wish they sold Sesame St videos!

 

 

Well, they make Elmo videos... do you have a VCR or DVD player?

[Colleen in NS]

The older ones do take turns playing w/ her right now, but...I guess I'm afraid of depending on that too much, kwim?

 

The playpen advice is helpful. I didn't know it was better to put it in a different room, although that makes sense. That way she's not just looking at us & wishing to be in the middle of whatever we're up to. I'll have to think about that!

 

If you just schedule the time with the older ones, you might not feel like you were depending on them too much.

 

Also, I used to put the playpen in another room, too, for the reason you mentioned. Maybe some pleasant music during "playpen time?" Maybe try to increase the time gradually so she is up to an hour in it?

 

Also, can she go to bed a bit later so she takes more like a two hour nap in the afternoon? Or can you leave her in her crib when she wakes up, with some toys, and let her learn to be content with staying confined while you get some other things done?

 

hth

[Tabrett]

All the things I've read, though, don't really work for us. Dd1 is too young for some activities; dh is gone too much for others. The apt is too small or laid out wrong or whatever. Finding websites w/ a bunch of suggestions is exciting & then I read down the lists & find one after another thing that won't work & I start to wonder if it's just me, lol.

 

Just to let you know, I agree with all the activities being too young for a 1 year or even a 2 year old!!! Most of the activities I read about on-line are more appropriate for a 3 or 4 year old. At that age, I don't need activities because I'm using a preschool curriculum.

 

Here is an idea, although it maybe silly. How about gating you and your 1 year old in a room and have your dc in the hall on the other side of the gate and "school across the gate". That way your 1yr old thinks you are in the room with her instead of being with the big kids. If you put a table on the other side of the gate, you could reach over the gate to teach at the table, but your little one couldn't get into the schoolwork.

 

I try to do as much school as I can while my 18 month old is eating breakfast.

[Emmy]

Just to let you know, I agree with all the activities being too young for a 1 year or even a 2 year old!!! Most of the activities I read about on-line are more appropriate for a 3 or 4 year old.

 

I whole heartedly agree - 3 and 4 year olds are easy compared to that 1- 3 year old age. At that age I just supply tons of art supplies, unlimited paper and playdough and it works out fine.

 

Aubrey - I'm bummed you don't have pbs. It has saved me many a morning at 10:30 when I'm just DONE trying to teach with Sam climbing on my lap non-stop.

[Rosie_0801]

I don't see what's wrong with relying on the older ones to take their turn to play. That's how it is with larger families. I don't see what's wrong with sending her to the neighbour for an hour or two either. You and your older kids can accomplish quite a bit in that time. I'll bet you'll do your share of helping her out when she has her baby. Being neighbourly is supposed to be a positive thing!

Does your library have little kiddie signing videos? That's one way to use the tv as a babysitter without having to feel too bad about it. "Studying" ASL counts as school!

:)

Rosie

[sagira]

I will share one thing that has worked great for us. I was also pulling my hair with a one-year-old who grabs everything, especially ds' school stuff. She is obsessed with markers (she bit the tip off ds' marker a week ago! :ohmy:) and our cellphone, and knows I'm busy with ds, so she'll do anything, and this includes moving furniture, to accomplish her evil plans :LOL:

 

This is her: :willy nilly:

 

Anyway, after a few weeks of lots of interruptions, I finally hit upon the idea with the help of dh. Dd also loves nature, especially her outdoor obsessions: birds, dogs, and cats (in that order). Sooo.. we head to the park with ds' backpack full of school stuff and do school at the park! I know the weather is not as lovely as the gorgeous Fall days we are having here (sunny 60s and 70s), but you can try to do it as often as you can. Dd runs around, I can keep an eye on her for a wide radius, and we get our work done.

 

:grouphug:

[dragons in the flower bed]

Around that age my kids are confident that they can, indeed, get around by themselves, and go through a second infancy, wanting to be held or nurse all the time. I schooled my big three with my one-year-old in a mei tai on my back. In fact, that's why I got a mei tai -- because when he was a baby a sling was sufficient, but now that he was so BIG and needed to be held all the time, I had to find a better system.

[chaik76]

Nope, I'd kill for PBS right now, but our TV is...I don't know...not antenna-ed up. I wish they sold Sesame St videos!

I do too! I really wish they sold the old ones from the early days too!

[Twinmom]

You know, if you are inclined to do the bathtub idea, here's a thought. Buy some cheap shaving cream, food coloring and toddler-sized paint brushes. Give her a few cups with different colors of shaving cream and let her "paint" the tub! My kids love this. You can do it water-free if you are concerned about safety...just draw the bath after you are ready to clean her off.

 

For my kids, that would keep them busy for a good 30 minutes + bath time! I'd bring something to read in there and let them go for it for as long as they'd like. Nice break for me...you could use it for school time.

[dragons in the flower bed]

Nope, I'd kill for PBS right now, but our TV is...I don't know...not antenna-ed up. I wish they sold Sesame St videos!

 

Your wish had been granted! Sesame Street videos kazam!

[Chris in VA]

I think it's just gotta be a combination of lots of small activities at this age. I would use the neighbor twice a week and get the long subjects (Science/History?) done--but have other dc save the paper work to do when they don't need you. I like the idea of the park, the bathtub, and the gate with a little table separating you. I also think you should assign each other child 30 minutes with the one yr old. That, with the nap time, should give you about 3 hours. Will that help?

 

Sorry--it's so hard. Wish you lived near so I could take your little one out for a walk! :001_smile:

[Alice]

I agree with Chris that it's going to have to be lots of short activites. Just changing activiites in itself might keep her more distracted.

 

I love the bathtub idea and the shaving cream in the bathtub....I am so trying that soon. :)

 

I take butcher paper or big paper and tape it to the table for my little guy. Then I give him markers to color with. Coloring is much easier for him with markers than crayons so he can do it without much assistance and it also has a slight "forbidden fruit" appeal. The Crayola Washable markers come out of just about everything I have found.

 

Play-Doh? My guy loves this and will play with it for a long time....she might be a bit young for that though.

 

Have you checked your library for videos? Ours has all the Sesame Street ones and Pooh and Elmo, etc. Not an all-day solution but it could give you 30 min.

[kalanamak]

When kiddo was that age and hubby had work to do, he put baby in a back pack and periodically handed things to him over his shoulder. Kiddo dropped them here and there (or ate them) and we cleaned up the "toy rain" in the evening. I got this idea from a friend who would waggle and sing periodically to keep kiddo calm while she cooked.

[swellmomma]

I have a 1 yr old too (she is 13.5 months), I have trained her to be in her high chair for part of our school day. She is not a fan of playdough either BUT she loves her peg board so we play with that lots. I also give her stacking cups, BIG wooden beads etc. Notice I say WE play with it. I set her up at the table with the big kids, and teach them their lesson, then as they do some work with that lesson I interact with her and the items I gave her to use. If I need her to stay busy even longer such as for a science lesson, I strip her down to a diaper and put a little bit of water in her baby bathtub on the kitchen floor. I put in measuring spoons and containers to fill and pour, if she climbs in she is already stripped down and is fine. She LOVES this more than her table toys. I also have a 5 year old, so when he is done his minimal amount of school work I send him to go play and he typically includes dd so that keeps her happy and occupied too. I also cheat and use the channel treehouse when both of the littles are giving me a hard time (treehouse is a station dedicated to preschool programming) and that works too. I do not use a playpen with her, the livingroom is filled with her toys, riding cars, climber etc (the big kids go to the basement toyroom to play) so that keeps her pretty busy if I can convince her to stay in there. I do have a baby gate separatiing the kitchen from the livingroom for those times when she absolutely can not be in the kitchen with them.

[Rhondabee]

I used to put dd in a laundry basket (my MIL's idea). It wasn't as intimidating as a playpen, which she wouldn't use. And, she could be right beside me, and I could reach down and play with her while spending time with one of the others.

 

Don't be afraid of "over-using" siblings. I'm sure I did (according to some), and I did worry about it (LOL), but my fears were completely unfounded. And, my boys are so attentive to others, now. It really helped them to grow in so many ways.

 

hth,

Rhonda