Preschool Morning Routine

[rainbowmama]

I have four kids: 10, 7, almost four, and a baby. My preschooler is so, so frustrating in the morning. We pick out his clothes the previous night. All he has to do is get dressed, put his pajamas in the hamper, and let me brush his hair and teeth. It is a struggle to get him to do this within 45 minutes when I serve breakfast. Then he doesn't want to eat his breakfast. By the time breakfast is done, I'm super cranky, which makes our homeschool day start on a bad note. How do I get my preschooler to get ready for the day? I put him to bed at 7 and serve breakfast at 7:45.

[Guinevere]

Do you have to leave the house by a certain time? I mostly let my younger ones do what works for them, because they are calmer and happier then.

[Mimm]

Is there a reason he needs to get dressed? Can he just get up and slowly enjoy his morning at his own pace till breakfast? I get that you don't want to deal with getting dressed after breakfast because school is probably starting, but what if that removed the battle and it took only a few minutes instead of 45?

 

I always let my kids homeschool in their pajamas, which I've discovered some moms on here feel is lazy and slovenly. But it was one less thing to worry about in the morning. We often started school during breakfast, pulling out books or looking over our to do list while we ate.

[HomeAgain]

We did magnets on the fridge.  I printed out pictures of various activities, "laminated" them with package tape, and scavenged magnets from mailers.  :lol: He'd get up, have a morning cuddle on the couch, and then we'd go look at the magnets together.  He'd do one, come back, and move it to the other side.  Do another. And another.

 

For some reason, the visual works so much better for my kid than telling him each day.  He feels more independent, I think.

[MyLife]

I was going to voice the same thing. Is it necessary for him to be dressed by breakfast? Why can't it wait til lunch time? I have morning loungers. They like to have time to "wake up" before getting dressed, eating, schoolwork.

Edited August 28, 2017 by MyLife

[Mommyof1]

My 4 yr old is really independent and likes to get herself ready. I intervene when necessary.

 

We don't get dressed right away here. We love to have a relaxing morning.

 

What is more important, him folowing the schedule or a calmer morning?

[My4arrows]

I set up a little chore or routine chart for mine when they are younger. So for my youngest (about the same age as yours) I have little cards that Velcro onto a laminated sheet. The tasks I want him to do are in the order he should do them. There is a to do side and an all done side. He really likes moving them once he's finished something. At this point he knows he's supposed to get up, make his bed, brush his teeth and wash his face, then get dressed before breakfast. Now that's taken training to get to that point. I took a week or two where I did it along with him and then handed that over to an older child to supervise until he knew to do it on his own. It has also helped that my older ones are doing the same chores/routine as him in the morning so he sees them doing it and his brother he shares a room with encourages him when needed.

[mathmarm]

I have a willful preKer.

At our house, meals have an END time. Period.

 

I only leave the food out for XX minutes, then breakfast is done and its on to the next part of the morning.

 

Same story for lunches and dinners.

 

We eat before we brush our teeth because the toothpaste taste doesn't go with meals.

Mine sleeps in his underwear and so getting dressed doesn't equal changing clothes, but just putting some more on.

 

He only owns clothes that are easy for him to put on himself.

 

Jr has a morning task system that he can do fairly independent as well.

[Mommyof1]

I have a willful preKer.

At our house, meals have an END time. Period.

 

Same story for lunches and dinners.

 

We eat before we brush our teeth because the toothpaste taste doesn't go with meals.

I like that. Mine is strong willed also but needs to follow the family rules.

Edited August 28, 2017 by Mommyof1

[prairiewindmomma]

Are you with him while he is getting dressed? My 4yo can drag things out all morning. Our morning goes smoother when I wake her first, dress her and help her make the bed, and then put her at the table to start eating. I then help everyone else (pushing the teen towards the shower, making sure the 11yo is up, helping the 8yo with her hair, etc.).

[Seeking Squirrels]

If getting dressed first thing is an absolute must, then I would set a timer and have some sort of small reward for if he beats it. A sticker on a chart that gets a bowl of ice cream after 10 stickers or something. Even just the timer to try to beat can be enough for some kids. 

 

But my first choice would be to not enter the battle in the first place. We school in our pj's quite often. Actually with two sensory kids, they're often in nothing but underwear. My DD actually keeps a simple dress in the school room so if I want to take pictures she can slip it on. As long as they're doing what they're supposed to, I don't care what they're wearing. 

[rainbowmama]

If he doesn't get dressed earlier in the morning, it makes when we do get out the door that much mores stressful, and we already struggle getting out the door.

I have a willful preKer.
At our house, meals have an END time. Period.

I only leave the food out for XX minutes, then breakfast is done and its on to the next part of the morning.

Same story for lunches and dinners.

We eat before we brush our teeth because the toothpaste taste doesn't go with meals.
Mine sleeps in his underwear and so getting dressed doesn't equal changing clothes, but just putting some more on.

He only owns clothes that are easy for him to put on himself.

Jr has a morning task system that he can do fairly independent as well.

 

We used to do this, but he's petite and picky, and I already fret about whether he eats enough. None of the clothes are difficult for him. He just sits there. Or if I'm not in the room watching him, he'll empty clothes from his drawers even though his clothes are already set out for him.

[mathmarm]

If he doesn't get dressed earlier in the morning, it makes when we do get out the door that much mores stressful, and we already struggle getting out the door.

 

We used to do this, but he's petite and picky, and I already fret about whether he eats enough. None of the clothes are difficult for him. He just sits there. Or if I'm not in the room watching him, he'll empty clothes from his drawers even though his clothes are already set out for him.

Clothes:

Can you re-arrange something and put his clothes out of his reach? Maybe his clothes can hang or the drawer can be stored elsewhere?

 

It Sounds like he can't handle having access to all of his clothes at once. If he only has,access,to a limited outfit, that might make things easier.

 

Meals:

Petite and picky without a valid medical exception and he would STILL have to get his fill of meals at meal times. Try keeping his toothbrush in the kitchen so you can brush right after the meal.

[mathmarm]

OP, maybe you can find healthy snacks to make available between meals.

Cheese sticks, raisins, fruit slices, fruit smoothie, bananas, sliced meat etc...

 

That might help you to feel better about letting meals END at certain times.

[Megbo]

Does he wake up on his own, or are you waking him up each morning? Is he cranky/groggy in the morning, or just difficult? Even if he's getting 12 hours of sleep each night, he could be waking up at the wrong time in his sleep cycle and feeling out of sorts in the mornings. If he's not generally a difficult child, I would be looking for something specific to the morning that might be causing him to act out of character.  

 

My little guy isn't a morning person, and would likely battle against getting dressed, eating, etc., if I woke him up and told him to do those things each morning. The rest of are up, dressed, fed, and busy by 8:30 at the latest. He wanders downstairs by 9:00 or 9:30 and gets his own breakfast out of the fridge (I make up a plate with fruit, cereal, and a small cup of milk he can pour himself). When one of us adults/big kids has a few free minutes some time in the morning, we'll race him up the stairs, time him while he gets dressed, brush his teeth, and head back down.

[fairfarmhand]

I too have a dawdler, and I too have a ten year age gap in my kids. I understand how it is to have SO many things to do each day. You want to give an excecllent homeschooling experience for your older kids, and you probably have afternoon activities, along with household responsibilities to juggle each day. I wake up each morning with a full plate, a list of to-dos and laundry must happen today or we'll be naked tomorrow, and don't forget to call the bank about that check, and oldest needs to practice guitar before lessons, and on and on and on.

 

But one thing I have to realize and remember, especially when I had preschoolers, is that they just don't understand or even care about all that stuff. They wake up, they have play in mind, they don't care if they're in pajamas all day, they don't care if meals take 2 hours. They aren't being obnoxious, they just have a very small child's sense of time. . Mama says we have 4 hours to do x,y, and z, but four hours forever and why is she mad at me again???

 

And that is entirely age appropriate

 

So I had to learn to S.L.O.W. down my frantic pace. I could not just give my smaller kids a list of things to do.

 

May I suggest, that you change your approach in the morning. I am sure your child isn't trying to frustrate you. Remind yourself of this. Climb into bed with him. Wake him gently. Take a minute to cuddle him and remind yourself of what really matters for this day. I'm a super busy mama. I know it's far to easy to start off the days with my kids in short bursts of orders and things to be done. I see my dawdlers as obstacles to my progress for the day, rather than little kids who need me to look at them and love them. They need gentleness, kindness, and my joy at being their mommy. My irritation is not their responsibility. I can choose how I want to start the day. Do I want to choose frustration and annoyance? Or do I want to choose joy and contentment?

 

Instead of assigning him the job of getting dressed (Yeah, I know, how can one kid take 35 minutes to put on a shirt and pants?) Have him bring his clothes to you in the kitchen or wherever you are. Cheer him on, and instruct him step by step. Four year olds are still very small to hold a list of instructions in their heads. Expect this. Step onto his team as a coach and cheerleader. I bet if you take 20 minutes to walk him through getting ready in the morning, you'll save yourself LOTS of frustration and be more efficient. Yes, I know you probably need to be busy in other places each day, but this is entirely age appropriate for many 4 year olds. I'd rather take 20 minutes out of my day to work alongside a child than to spend an hour and a half, nagging, checking up on the kids, making them go back, re-do stuff, getting more irritated, etc.

 

Anyway, my dawdler is 9. I still have to remind him 100 times to do each step of life. "And why aren't you wearing shoes? We were supposed to be leaving now?" But I can choose to approach him with irritability or I can choose kindness.

 

[Bootsie]

What is he doing for the 45 minutes?  Does he get sidetracked by other activities?  Is he daydreaming?  Is he falling back to sleep?

[KungFuPanda]

Let him sleep in his clothes and brush his teeth after he eats :-) Preschoolers don't have BO and they're not gonna wear pressed business attire. Also, who wants eat right after they brush their teeth?

 

Also, is he really a breakfast person? I'm not suggesting a preschooler skip breakfast, but some people just aren't wired to have any desire for food right when they wake up. My son and I are both this way and always have been. I'm a slow waker-upper and my stomach is this way too. Facing food before I'm fully awake is just gross. Can you give him a drink and feed him when you take your first break? You can pack some serious nutrition into a smoothie and it's much easier to face than savory food in the morning. Would he be swayed by a fun cup?