toawh Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 I'm in such a funky mood. For my birthday dh took me to a super crowded Sephora to pick out some make up; it's on a shopping street I particularly dislike. I hardly wear make up. I have tons, I just don't wear bright red lip stick on a daily basis. I couldn't find anything I needed/wanted; so, then he said lets go out for dinner. We went out and he was on his phone the whole time, reading stuff (not aloud) and texting etc. -- a huge pet peeve of mine. I love that he did something for my birthday. I'm not complaining. It was sweet. I just feel sort of moody that my dh of 12 years doesn't know me better. Is this fairly common? Is it just a guys and girls from different planets type thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevergiveup Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 Oh, honey. He's a man, after all..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 It sounds like a pretty good birthday in spite of some disappointments. I already have my Mother's Day and birthday presents picked out. I just get my own and make sure it is exactly what I want. I will say that when I want my husband off of his phone so we can have a conversation, I just ask him nicely to put it away and he isn't ever offended. Happy Birthday! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicMom Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 (edited) After 8 years of marriage, my husband knows I hate crowds, noise, strobe lights and late nights. I love a hot bath, coffee, a good book and and an early bedtime. Somehow, it has not occurred to him that maybe this means I don't really love country music concerts as much as he thinks I do, and maybe for once I'd like a different Christmas/birthday/anniversary gift. In fact, tomorrow night we are seeing Garth Brooks for my Christmas and anniversary present. I'm looking forward to a peaceful night sleep with no children in the hotel room, at least. Edited March 11, 2017 by MedicMom 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom@shiloh Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 Give him credit for trying. It took my dh a looong time to figure all that stuff out. He still doesn't get it "right" every time, but I've learned to be better at giving grace and better at vocalizing exactly what I want to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 It all sounds good except the reading his phone part. I'd tell him so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 Happy birthday! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hjffkj Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 My dh learned by me telling him. If he told he me he wanted to take me to Sephora for my birthday I would have said, " thank you for thinking of me but I think I have enough makeup. Can we go to Barnes and Noble instead so I can search for a book of like or maybe to the gamestore for a new board game." He wouldn't be offended by me choosing a different place because ultimately he wants to make me happy on my bday. The being on the phone during dinner would piss me off. I find it is incredibly rude and would point that out to anyone I was eating with. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 Happy Birthday! FWIW, I taught mine - using English words and repetition. It was well worth it. There's no way he could read my mind and he really wanted to know what sorts of things I liked and wanted. We both still laugh at one time I told him I wanted chickens for my birthday and he dutifully went to Tractor Supply to get things - only to be looked down upon by the cashier for getting chickens for his wife's birthday! They were perfect! :hurray: I haven't had any problems since he completed his training (it took longer than one year, but we've been married 28+ now). He's still very appreciative that I took the time to do it and I haven't had junk to give away (as I did before taking on the task). 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 Happy birthday! (hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 Happy Birthday!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaraby Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 My dh knows me better than my family who bought me a vanilla cake for my birthday one year. Pffft, vanilla cake... Still, even he's not a mind reader. Speak up next time. "Hey, I don't like...It's too...I'd rather...Get off the forkin' phone!" Happy birthday, by the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zinnia Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 My dh knows me better than my family who bought me a vanilla cake for my birthday one year. Pffft, vanilla cake... Still, even he's not a mind reader. Speak up next time. "Hey, I don't like...It's too...I'd rather...Get off the forkin' phone!" Happy birthday, by the way. We have been married 16 years, and when I buy vanilla ice cream, mine still asks why. Cause it's good, and I like it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaraby Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 We have been married 16 years, and when I buy vanilla ice cream, mine still asks why. Cause it's good, and I like it? Then maybe my parents/sister were buying you a cake instead? ;) I dislike vanilla cake and vanilla ice cream except in limited applications (root beer floats, pie, and fruit crisp). Otherwise, I'll pass. They couldn't believe it. It was my 30th birthday and dh said that was the last time he'd let them handle the birthday details. I got an amazing chocolate cake for my 31st. I think some people just need large signs and lots of words. And repetition. Maybe via text if that's your thing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 (edited) Maybe you should have sent him a naughty text in the middle of dinner. That might have made him look up. :laugh: Next time there's a gift-giving occasion, tell him well ahead of time what you'd like. Hopefully he'll listen to you and do it. And next time he's engrossed in the phone, either send him a text or nicely ask him to put it away for a bit. What happened to you is a pretty common occurrence in marriages. It's ok to feel weird about it today and for a few more days, but after that let it go and have a plan firmly in place for the next time. It'll save you years of resentment. ETA: Oh--and some people expect gift-givers to take time to notice things and give the gifts based on their own observations, like this: "Hmmm...my wife doesn't wear makeup, but she loves to read. I'll get her a book for her birthday!" But that's a skill that a lot of people honestly don't have. Some people naturally are awesome at finding the perfect gifts, and some people are horrible at it--truly horrible. It is NOT a reflection on how much love is felt. So, if you find it easy to get the perfect gift, know that you have a talent that not everyone has. It doesn't mean you're not loved if your dh just doesn't think that way. This isn't just a man/woman thing. There are lots of women out there who are awful at coming up with gifts, too. Edited March 12, 2017 by Garga 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 Communication. Say what you need, discuss how to get it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TX Native Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 I like the suggestion of texting him while at the dinner table if he is on his phone on the next date. I have a sweet dh, but he sometimes gets me gifts that I'm like, "huh?" There are times I have to remind him it isn't appropriate to be on the phone/Internet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 Happy Birthday! FWIW, I taught mine - using English words and repetition. It was well worth it. There's no way he could read my mind and he really wanted to know what sorts of things I liked and wanted. We both still laugh at one time I told him I wanted chickens for my birthday and he dutifully went to Tractor Supply to get things - only to be looked down upon by the cashier for getting chickens for his wife's birthday! They were perfect! :hurray: I haven't had any problems since he completed his training (it took longer than one year, but we've been married 28+ now). He's still very appreciative that I took the time to do it and I haven't had junk to give away (as I did before taking on the task). Yeah, I got a cow 2 years ago for my birthday! Love that man! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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