If your family has benefited from a fast or break from screen time...

[Peaceseeker]

Will you post and tell how it went for your family? It might be helpful if you could give an average of how much screen time you allowed before and if that changed after the break. Or if the break helped you or your children find time to develop other interests you then pursued after the break.

 

I am not really looking for a long debate on the pros and cons of screens here. If your family lives happily playing in the woods all day and your kids have never heard of Minecraft I think you are awesome but your feedback will probably not be as helpful. Likewise if your kids are allowed to completely self regulate their screen time with no limits I also think you are awesome but your feedback will probably not be as helpful either. This is said sincerely without sarcasm. I just already know that those two absolutes (no screens, unlimited screens) will not work for our family.

 

Parents dealing with littles are often dealing with this issue a bit differently, so I am really looking for average homeschool parents dealing with screen time and especially gaming with their teens/tweens. So for those parents, have you tried a fast or a break to encourage your teen/tween to broaden their interests? Was it successful? How about the adults in the family?

Edited March 13, 2017 by CaliforniaDreaming

[Faithr]

My boys are now 24, 21 and 18 but back when they were younger screen time was hard to regulate.  Right now even my 21 year old who still has strong gaming habits, is currently fasting from all screen on Fridays (we are Catholic and it's Lent).  

 

I was terrible at imposing fasts on the boys.  They did it themselves (shockingly, we did give up screen every Lent for a few years there!).  Also, once I discovered I was bad at managing gaming/screen time, I tried to schedule things so that they couldn't spend a lot of time on screen on any given day.  So we had outside classes/co-ops, 4H and Scout projects to do, errands, sports, we'd go to daily Mass, we'd have a regular quiet time in the afternoon just for reading or listening to audio books (the only thing I was consistent with ever!), playdates at parks or homeschool gym class, etc.  Whatever I could contrive!  

 

The other thing we did, which worked for a good long while, is have a serious talk about how unhealthy it to be sitting there, bad on the body and bad on the eyes. (My kids heard this from their vision therapist too) so every hour they wanted to be on screen they also had to spend another hour doing other things, going outside, playing irl, reading, studying, etc.  Two of my boys gravitated to musical instruments, the other did lego until his midteens.  He's the only one that still really is heavy into games.  Even my 18 yo who actually has been in competitions and won money(!!!!) isn't that into gaming anymore.  He's super focused on getting into a music school.  So it is also a phase the guys can go through that they mature out of.    But I remember how hard it was to balance things out.  My boys' attitudes were always terrible when the time gaming got too much.  So it really wasn't healthy for them emotionally even though they didn't realize it at the time.

 

Hang in there!

[meena]

One of my children recently was grounded from all screens for 3 weeks (for school related reasons). This child tends to be an all or nothing type, so it was a good break. Said child was only allowed to use an old iPod to listen to music; other than that no screens at all. We even switched part of the child's curriculum that is an iBook to a print copy that, thankfully, I already owned.

 

This was a punishment rather than a fast, but it had some great results and kind of "reset" this child from always defaulting to a screen when being even slightly bored. Now that the punishment is over and screens are allowed again, there is still a tendency to want to get online or play games as a procrastination tactic. But it is way less than before. Some creative, athletic, and educational pursuits that had gotten put aside in favor of screen time were picked back up during the enforced fast, and the child is continuing to work on them after the fast.

 

Our typical rule for screen time is not during school hours and not after certain times at night (this varies bc our schedule is so variable). That first part can be hard to enforce when they are doing online tasks as part of their learning, though. We have no problem telling our kids during times where screens are normally allowed that it's time for a break and for them to go outside and play! Screen time is a privilege and not a right in our home. We are looking into getting an online time manager like the Circle by Disney because it's so hard to track who's on what screen for how long and for what purpose.

[SparklyUnicorn]

my kids would revolt and it would be ugly

 

so I would not personally go there

 

 

[HSmomof2]

It's a constant struggle with my teen/tweens. Generally, we limit screens to 2 hours/day. No screens/devices in their rooms at night. We do allow more on Saturday's if we aren't doing anything else. I don't think it's broadened their interests necessarily, but I just don't want them gaming constantly.

[Catwoman]

We don't regulate screen time, but whenever I want my ds to spend less time on his computer, I find a way to keep him busy with other things. I don't actually say I want him off the computer; I just happen to come up with other options.

 

Okay, so it's kind of sneaky. But it works. :)

 

Can you get your kids interested in a hobby that doesn't involve screen time, like building things, doing something crafty, or planting a garden?

 

My ds likes to shop and go out to eat, so we do a lot of that when I want him off the computer for a while.

[Peaceseeker]

my kids would revolt and it would be ugly

 

so II would not personally go there

We like to have these conversations as a family. I am not authoritarian by nature and I do respect my children's opinions. I don't automatically discount things they find value in just because I don't. However, I am concerned as a parent that things are getting out of balance. So it is a conversation we may need to have, and I would like to get others feedback and suggestions before talking it out as a family.

[Peaceseeker]

It's a constant struggle with my teen/tweens. Generally, we limit screens to 2 hours/day. No screens/devices in their rooms at night. We do allow more on Saturday's if we aren't doing anything else. I don't think it's broadened their interests necessarily, but I just don't want them gaming constantly.

This is close to what we do as well, but sometimes it feels like the whole day is just waiting for screen time to begin.

[Peaceseeker]

We don't regulate screen time, but whenever I want my ds to spend less time on his computer, I find a way to keep him busy with other things. I don't actually say I want him off the computer; I just happen to come up with other options.

 

Okay, so it's kind of sneaky. But it works. :)

 

Can you get your kids interested in a hobby that doesn't involve screen time, like building things, doing something crafty, or planting a garden?

 

My ds likes to shop and go out to eat, so we do a lot of that when I want him off the computer for a while.

I do take this approach of trying to keep life busy and it works well for one. The other not so much. Edited March 11, 2017 by CaliforniaDreaming

[Catwoman]

I do take this approach and it works well for one. The other not so much.

I didn't quote your whole post because you said you might want to delete it, but your son sounds a lot like mine, so I understand why many of the "usual" suggestions won't work with him. If he's not into sports or organized lessons or activities, that definitely limits your options -- I know that from experience!

 

As long as he's doing fine with his schoolwork and doesn't seem unhappy, I'm not sure limiting his screen time is necessary. I found that as my ds got older, he became more and more creative with his computer interests -- he builds computers and is always doing some kind of programming or tinkering. Your son will probably do the same, or find other ways to be creative on his computer or with robotics or whatever.

 

I hope you can find a way to limit his screen time if it's important to you, but I guess I just wanted to encourage you that if you're not entirely successful with it, it may not be a problem in the long run. :)

[SebastianCat]

We did a family "technology fast" for a week last year at the end of the summer, and it was a good experience for us all.   DH & I also participated, so it wasn't just a restriction for the kids.   We felt like we had all gotten a bit too attached to our phones/iPods/etc., and that the TV was on more than it should be family-wide.   Here were our rules for the week:

• No TV, XBox, or other video games
• You can use the computer for school (or work for DH & I).
• You may check email and group text chats once a day for 15 minutes.
• No social media
• No surfing the net (mostly pertained to DH & I - I tend to surf in the afternoons and DH tends to surf while eating lunch and in the evenings.  DH & I had to police ourselves.)
• If the kids needed to take a phone with them for a class or activity, they took a dumb phone.
• Kids could listen to the radio or CDs, but no iPods (because of the temptation of texting and apps....and we have a pretty big collection of audiobooks music on CD from our pre-iPod days)

We found that we read more books, did more puzzles, and found other things to do with the time we used to spend in front of the TV or computer.   DH & I came off of that week thinking that it would be a good exercise to do at least once a year, just to remind ourselves how much time we waste.   The kids didn't love it, but they also realized that they survived and it wasn't so bad.

[Peaceseeker]

We did a family "technology fast" for a week last year at the end of the summer, and it was a good experience for us all. DH & I also participated, so it wasn't just a restriction for the kids. We felt like we had all gotten a bit too attached to our phones/iPods/etc., and that the TV was on more than it should be family-wide. Here were our rules for the week:

• No TV, XBox, or other video games
• You can use the computer for school (or work for DH & I).
• You may check email and group text chats once a day for 15 minutes.
• No social media
• No surfing the net (mostly pertained to DH & I - I tend to surf in the afternoons and DH tends to surf while eating lunch and in the evenings. DH & I had to police ourselves.)
• If the kids needed to take a phone with them for a class or activity, they took a dumb phone.
• Kids could listen to the radio or CDs, but no iPods (because of the temptation of texting and apps....and we have a pretty big collection of audiobooks music on CD from our pre-iPod days)

We found that we read more books, did more puzzles, and found other things to do with the time we used to spend in front of the TV or computer. DH & I came off of that week thinking that it would be a good exercise to do at least once a year, just to remind ourselves how much time we waste. The kids didn't love it, but they also realized that they survived and it wasn't so bad.

We are considering doing this as a family as well.

[amy g.]

So much depends on the child's personality. My oldest has always been just as happy taking a walk or reading a book as using a screen, so she has never had any limits.

 

My son would have stayed on the computer 24 hours a day if I let him. When he lived at home, he could use screens in a common room after his school work was done and before the family went to bed. When he turned 17, I allowed him to move his computer into his room and I no longer set limits on him.

 

He now has a job related to computers, so I don't find it a useless pastime. I just wanted him to balance it with other activities, which he was only going to do if I forced him to.

 

Middle child only uses screens to socialize. She isn't watching TV or gaming, she is texting or skyping friends who live in other states.

 

At first she regulated herself. I even let her keep her laptop in her room because she never abused it. Then one of her friends kept telling her unfair we were, how our other daughters are bitches, how she should change her passcodes and sneak eletronics after we went to bed.

 

Dd lied to her dad about where her iPod was and she did attempt to change the passcode on her phone.

 

I took her screens away for 18 months. She had outsourced classes, and I talked to the teachers. She had to do research at the library with real books. She had to do her papers in longhand or use a typewriter. If he teachers hadn't supported my position, I would have withdrawn her.

 

The only exception was watching a movie with me and Dh in the den on the weekends. She became a much happier child.

 

She did pursue other hobbies which are very grounding for her now that she is an adult. When I gave her back her electronics, she used them more moderately.

 

Now she is 18 and she can use them whenever she likes, but she puts everything away at 9:00 each night and doesn't allow them to interfere with her other activities. It is 10:30 on a Saturday morning here. She is sewing with her sister. I'm not sure she would be able to moderate her screen usage now if I hadn't stepped in and forced her to break the habit back then.

 

Now, at this point, my younger two still prefer to play dolls or swing than use screens. They don't have limits now, but I'm willing to change that if I ever feel like they are becoming dependent on them.

[Wheres Toto]

When we take a break, it's usually either a punishment for a specific infraction or comes about naturally due to circumstance, like we are camping for two weeks or we have a lot of plans outside the house.  I don't generally take away the screens for no reason and expect them to just find something else to do.  It tends to be very seasonal for us because we are out and about a lot more in Spring, Summer and Fall, and quite a bit less in the Winter.

 

My kids spend quite a bit of time on video games.  They are allowed on computer from 4pm to 7pm each evening, and from wake-up until noon, then 4pm to 7pm on weekends (if we are home, which we usually aren't).   When they are off computer, they are allowed to play some Wii U, watch youtube videos, or play on their tablets.  We do specific time frame instead of number of hours because we have less whining, and constantly asking for it this way.  

 

It's limited because they have extra-curricular activities every single weekday for at least an hour in the 4pm to 7pm block of time, we go to church almost every Sunday and they have choir after service so that usually takes care of the entire morning block.  In addition to schoolwork, they have to do at least an hour exercise (usually those extra-curriculars), an hour of reading, and an hour of completely screen-free, quiet time every day for ANY screens.

 

Both have other activities they like to do.  Both of them like to draw, they've both had times when they were really into a book and chose to read instead.

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

We like to have these conversations as a family. I am not authoritarian by nature and I do respect my children's opinions. I don't automatically discount things they find value in just because I don't. However, I am concerned as a parent that things are getting out of balance. So it is a conversation we may need to have, and I would like to get others feedback and suggestions before talking it out as a family.

 

How old are your kids?

[SparklyUnicorn]

We don't regulate screen time, but whenever I want my ds to spend less time on his computer, I find a way to keep him busy with other things. I don't actually say I want him off the computer; I just happen to come up with other options.

 

Okay, so it's kind of sneaky. But it works. :)

 

Can you get your kids interested in a hobby that doesn't involve screen time, like building things, doing something crafty, or planting a garden?

 

My ds likes to shop and go out to eat, so we do a lot of that when I want him off the computer for a while.

 

This is what I do too.

[bettyandbob]

for several years dd attended a camp that had no anything for 2 weeks. The only electricity was light bulbs in the bath house and cabins. One year they didn't even have that due to severe weather that took out power lines across a large section of the state--power was restored 3 days before the session ended. the camp had a phone line that was working (required 911) connection. 

 

My ds thought dd was crazy for going to this. dd loved the whole program. It was academic , doing nature studies by observation for 2 weeks. She always came home with a bit of peace. 

 

These two are in college now. I don't think I could have forced a "no screens" at home. 

[Gentlemommy]

We did a family screen break last summer for 3 months. It was great. I talked to the kids beforehand, and it wasn't terrible at all. I think because I admitted it was also an issue for *me* not to be looking on my phone or iPad all the time, they were able to go along with it. I expected my youngest to have a much more difficult time, but she only really asked a few times the first week. In August we added a newborn to the family, and we stopped the break. Now we all have one hour (from 1-2 everyday) to have screen time. I try very hard to limit myself to that time, unless I'm answering a text. I can feel myself slipping though, which is hard because the kids keep me accountable. For my kids, knowing they will have some time and when that time will be helps tremendously. Also, staying busy helps. During the summer break, we went to the lake or pool a ton, we went camping a bunch of times, and saw friends most days. They also have gym four evenings a week, which helps. We pulled out those games and crafts that had been sitting in the closet, I let them make messy experiments, and we all tried to be outside more.

[J-rap]

When my kids were home, screens really weren't such a thing yet!  They graduated high school beginning in 2007.  I think it's much more complicated now.  When we got our first computer, we set the rule of 20 minutes every four hours.  We kept that through high school.  Our only TV station was public television.  I think it all would have been harder if we set those rules/habits later, after we had already begun doing it differently.

 

So, no help from me really, just that I know it's gotten much more complicated!

[Peaceseeker]

My kids are 11 and 13.

Edited March 12, 2017 by CaliforniaDreaming

[amo_mea_filiis.]

My tween doesn't do well with screens at all. We go through periods of him having none at all, or him having way too much.

 

The way too much periods usually begin out of need for "babysitting," and just take over from there.

 

When he has regular use at home, he's meaner than usual. He doesn't play his drums, go outside, and I think his book allergy reaches life threatening levels.

 

With no screens, it's the opposite; drums going, elaborate Lego creations or train track designs, and I often find him reading. He'll play outside all day, ride his bike, skateboard, etc.

 

Sometimes with screens, he'll put it down to go do something else, but it's very short lived and once he's even slightly "bored" he gets anxious and angry if use is limited.

 

He's all or nothing, so limits fail big time. This part of him isn't just with screens though. He wants his own container of ice cream, always a 12" sandwich, never 6". 1 hot wheels cars isn't good enough, he needs 5. He won't go to a friend's house on days he has to be home before 8:00. He won't work for $1 tasks, they have to be worth $5+, and even then it has to be a very small task.

 

Right now he's on a break and a little calmer than the last few months.

[kroe1]

Don't some of you guys spend a couple of hours a day on screens? Some of the posts I read take at least 30 minutes to type out. How does one limit screen time when she is not doing it herself? I never limit screen time, but make sure kiddos have enough other activities so that there is less free time for screens. That seems to work better.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Don't some of you guys spend a couple of hours a day on screens? Some of the posts I read take at least 30 minutes to type out. How does one limit screen time when she is not doing it herself? I never limit screen time, but make sure kiddos have enough other activities so that there is less free time for screens. That seems to work better.

 

Exactly.

 

I'd be very hypocritical.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Although no post ever takes me 30 minutes to type out.

 

 

[Alexigail]

We recently went to a system of earning TV and games by doing all their chores and schoolwork. They have a brief TV time every day and games only for their earned time on Saturday.  Occasionally I will offer them a few extra minutes during the week if they've done an extra chore that I really need done. It took about 2 days and then their behavior improved enormously.  They are very cooperative with helping one another earn their screen time.  

I don't think it would work for me to go cold turkey.  My parents would do that and we ended up with an all or nothing type attitude towards entertainment.  I think for me it's important to teach perspective, priorities and balance.  This started as a project for Lent, but I think we will probably continue it in some form after Pascha because it's been so effective at helping with their attitudes. Plus, my house has been a lot cleaner.

[Peaceseeker]

Don't some of you guys spend a couple of hours a day on screens? Some of the posts I read take at least 30 minutes to type out. How does one limit screen time when she is not doing it herself? I never limit screen time, but make sure kiddos have enough other activities so that there is less free time for screens. That seems to work better.

We are actually discussing taking a break as a family. Maybe I should edit the title of my post to if your family has benefited from a break. (I did edit it for clarification) My screen time is naturally limited by being a homeschool parent who also works outside the home. Not to mention that part time chauffeur job to take my kids to all their activities! I do haunt these forums during my night owl hours though, and my house would certainly be cleaner if I took a break! My kids get a good bit of screen time even with lots of activities. We probably fall a little to the left on this issue. My kids do more gaming/screen time than most of their peers.

 

I am curious exactly what all we would do with ourselves if the wifi went out for a week or a month. For all of us. Would I learn to sew? Would my daughter finish the story she never finds time to work on? Would my son pick up a guitar and want to learn to play? These are just musings.

Maybe none of those things happen and in a week or a month I start browsing the well trained mind again and my kids pick back up with their minecraft realms :)

 

If everyone is on board, we may experiment. It is not punitive and my kids know they can speak their minds and have input into family decisions. There is nothing inherently wrong with considering taking a break from the internet for a little while. Whether it changes anything long term is definitely debatable- which is why I am curious what other families have experienced.

Edited March 13, 2017 by CaliforniaDreaming

[SparklyUnicorn]

We did take a break for over 2 weeks when we went to Germany.  I didn't miss it exactly, but I had to plan ahead to make sure bills were paid, etc.  The kids were sufficiently distracted by other things.  In our day to day lives, I'm not sure they would be. 

 

 

 

 

[Wheres Toto]

Don't some of you guys spend a couple of hours a day on screens? Some of the posts I read take at least 30 minutes to type out. How does one limit screen time when she is not doing it herself? I never limit screen time, but make sure kiddos have enough other activities so that there is less free time for screens. That seems to work better.

 

Honestly, this is one of the issues with us doing a general screen break.  Both dh and I work on our computers at home.  He has to check work emails and reply if there are issues.  I have to research 4-H activities and post updates, research school activities and print out weekly planners, check emails from my various part-time jobs, one of which is ALL computer work.

 

ETA:  I forgot I also pay all our bills online and check the bank account for problems. 

 

It doesn't seem fair to tell the kids no screens but then be on them ourselves.  Dh certainly won't give up television during March Madness   or football season. :lol:

Edited March 13, 2017 by Where's Toto?

[mommyoffive]

We did take a break for over 2 weeks when we went to Germany.  I didn't miss it exactly, but I had to plan ahead to make sure bills were paid, etc.  The kids were sufficiently distracted by other things.  In our day to day lives, I'm not sure they would be. 

 

This is what we do on vacations too.  I worry that we should take screens when we go to Europe.  But I don't want them doing whatever on their Kindles when they should be experiencing the world there. 

 

I am sure it would save me a bit if I did bring them.   But I am not going to.  So there. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

This is what we do on vacations too.  I worry that we should take screens when we go to Europe.  But I don't want them doing whatever on their Kindles when they should be experiencing the world there. 

 

I am sure it would save me a bit if I did bring them.   But I am not going to.  So there. 

 

We brought them for the bus/flight/car.  Lifesaver.  It's a long time sitting around, and there isn't a whole lot you can do just sitting there.  Sure you can read and stuff, but it's hard to read for hours on end.

[regentrude]

We brought them for the bus/flight/car.  Lifesaver.  It's a long time sitting around, and there isn't a whole lot you can do just sitting there.  Sure you can read and stuff, but it's hard to read for hours on end.

 

And then for air travel, especially internationally, you want a way to check that your flight is not canceled or delayed.

Internet is also very useful to check opening times for attractions, to buy tickets, to communicate with your house sitter...Oh, and find out which of the judo clubs in town would allow DS to train as a guest ;)

It would be a hard sell to make him come on a trip where he would not be allowed to communicate with his girlfriend for a few weeks. That would greatly reduce the teen cooperation factor. 

 

Well, we take laptops anyway because of work. 

DS has a job as customer service person for a small business; he works remote. Driving 15 hours to the desert last year, he could do his work in the car via phone hotspot ;) 

[mommyoffive]

And then for air travel, especially internationally, you want a way to check that your flight is not canceled or delayed.

Internet is also very useful to check opening times for attractions, to buy tickets, to communicate with your house sitter...Oh, and find out which of the judo clubs in town would allow DS to train as a guest ;)

It would be a hard sell to make him come on a trip where he would not be allowed to communicate with his girlfriend for a few weeks. That would greatly reduce the teen cooperation factor. 

 

Well, we take laptops anyway because of work. 

DS has a job as customer service person for a small business; he works remote. Driving 15 hours to the desert last year, he could do his work in the car via phone hotspot ;)

 

I figured we would just use our phones. 

 

At least one way is a overnight flight so I see no need.  I am old school.  I would rather the kids be looking out the window or meeting people. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

And then for air travel, especially internationally, you want a way to check that your flight is not canceled or delayed.

Internet is also very useful to check opening times for attractions, to buy tickets, to communicate with your house sitter...Oh, and find out which of the judo clubs in town would allow DS to train as a guest ;)

It would be a hard sell to make him come on a trip where he would not be allowed to communicate with his girlfriend for a few weeks. That would greatly reduce the teen cooperation factor. 

 

Well, we take laptops anyway because of work. 

DS has a job as customer service person for a small business; he works remote. Driving 15 hours to the desert last year, he could do his work in the car via phone hotspot ;)

 

Yeah.  Only difficulty is dealing with charging it.  There were instances where the charging on the plane/bus flat out did not work.  We bought back up battery packs so that helped, but those don't last forever.

[regentrude]

I figured we would just use our phones. 

 

you said "screens" - so I take this to include smart phones.

[SebastianCat]

Don't some of you guys spend a couple of hours a day on screens? Some of the posts I read take at least 30 minutes to type out. How does one limit screen time when she is not doing it herself? I never limit screen time, but make sure kiddos have enough other activities so that there is less free time for screens. That seems to work better. 

 

When we did a "fast" from screens, DH & I voluntarily gave up all non-essential screen use.   DH still needed his computer for work, but he gave up surfing the net during his free time, or for anything not related to work.   I checked email once a day and used the computer to check of the kids' school assignments in Homeschool Planet, but I gave up surfing the net (including the Hive!) and all social media.   The kids could check email and group texts once per day and use the computer for school.

 

Part of our objective was for our kids to come up with their own things to do when they didn't have access to screens, rather than just providing them with more activities to keep them busy.  It was a really good exercise for all of us.   I was reminded that I do waste too much time on forums like the Hive and on social media, and that I can be much more productive without them.

 

 

[Wheres Toto]

Dh got his first cell phone when I was pregnant with ds.  He used to go out fishing, by himself, in the back bays by Atlantic City.  I told him he needed to be able to call for help and I needed to be able to reach him, so he got a cell phone.  Watching him text is kind of funny (picture Santa Claus holding a phone up with one hand and texting with one finger on the other hand :D ) and he doesn't do it often but many of his friends will send a quick text when they just want to ask a question or say hello.

 

When I divorced dd's dad it was important for her to have a cell phone so she could reach me privately when she was at his house.   As she got older and did more activities, it was good for her to be able to reach me.

 

Since around 1999, I've had jobs that provided a cell phone and required it's use.

[macmacmoo]

We seem to go in seasons we are at our worse in the winter when it comes to screens. With spring and summer the kids go out more and are less glued to screens.

 

Also we started a don't refuse but don't offer. the don't offer us really the big thing. We got in the habit of just handing out iPads at waiting rooms, car rides, restaurants, etc we still bring them but we don't go handing it out right away we wait till they request. Same with the tv I don't realize how much of the tv in the morning was because I suggested it.

[mommyoffive]

you said "screens" - so I take this to include smart phones.

 

I have never had a smart phone so when i am on vacation, i don't get on a screen either.  Dh usually does for work.   For this trip we are going to buy a phone so if I get lost or something.