Storygirl Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 (edited) If you host a birthday party for your child, and a friend or to does not attend, would you give the goody bags to the non-attenders? DS wants to give the leftover goody bags to his friends, but there is a complicating factor, and I'm not sure what is best. He had four friends who did not attend the party. Two of them said no when they gave the RSVP, so we did not prepare goody bags for them. The other two were planning to come but did not attend the party at the last minute, due to illness; we did have goody bags prepared for them but were obviously unable to hand them out at the party. All of the boys are in DS's class at school, and he would like to take the two bags to the boys who had planned to come but were ill. The problem is that we do not have extra bags for him to give to the additional two boys who declined the RSVP. So he would be giving bags to some of the boys who did not come but not all of them. My inclination is to tell him not to hand out any of them, because I don't want there to be hurt feelings. However, DS has a great desire to hand them out. We could put the bags inside plain brown paper lunch bags to disguise them, but I still feel a little uncomfortable. I could also buy more candy and make additional goody bags. But I'm not convinced that is necessary, and then DS would have four bags to hand out at school, which is harder to do without his other classmates noticing. What would you do? ETA: The two boys who declined the RSVP and would not be getting bags are actually DS's two closest friends at school. Edited January 30, 2017 by Storygirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Skip the bags altogether. Save the money and hassle. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted January 30, 2017 Author Share Posted January 30, 2017 Skip the bags altogether. Save the money and hassle. The party was yesterday, so we already prepared the bags. They were inexpensive -- a $1 box of candy (the party was at the movie theater) -- plus an emoji keychain and a little plastic maze. I spent a total of less than $3 on each bag. We have extra keychains and mazes, because they came in bulk. I would just have to buy two more boxes of candy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 I'm assuming there are more kids in his class that weren't invited. I think it would be unfair for him to bring goodie bags for 4 kids and not everyone else. I also don't think that the kids who didn't plan to attend should get a bag. Is there any way he can deliver the two bags to his two friends to their houses directly? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
City Mouse Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Do not give them out at school. That is going to cause hurt feelings no matter what happens. Will he see those kids anywhere else? Can he invite them over to play and then give them the bags? 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 We always give the goody bags to the kids who had planned to come and got sick/missed for some reason. But I wouldn't give them at school. I agree with the PP who suggested to invite them over for a play date, and give them there. Or drop them off, if you don't live far away. We had a party over the weekend, too! Hope yours was fun! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arctic Bunny Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Make up the two extra, since you have the stuff, but hand them to the kids the next time you see them that's not at school. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted January 30, 2017 Author Share Posted January 30, 2017 (edited) You are right that he did not invite his whole class. DS thinks he can hand out the bags at school without the other kids noticing, but I am skeptical that he would be able to manage that. The most we could do is hide the bag inside another plain bag. He thinks he can pass them to them at the lockers in the morning. We don't live near the other kids (private school distant from our home), so they don't see each other outside of school. ETA: Inviting them over is a nice idea, but it's not going to happen. There are reasons that we had the party outside of our home. Edited January 30, 2017 by Storygirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 (edited) You are right that he did not invite his whole class. DS thinks he can hand out the bags at school without the other kids noticing, but I am skeptical that he would be able to manage that. The most we could do is hide the bag inside another plain bag. He thinks he can pass them to them at the lockers in the morning. We don't live near the other kids (private school distant from our home), so they don't see each other outside of school. I think the bags would be opened at school, so even if he's discreet - the cat will be out of the bag. Could he give them to them at the very end of the day? Setting up a time to hang out is out? Our guest that missed our party this weekend has already been invited to hang out next weekend. Something like that wouldn't work? ETA: just saw your edit with not inviting them over. Could you plan another hang out option? Bowling? Movie? Or just skip the goody bags. :) Hope the party was fun. Edited January 30, 2017 by Spryte 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arctic Bunny Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 You are right that he did not invite his whole class. DS thinks he can hand out the bags at school without the other kids noticing, but I am skeptical that he would be able to manage that. The most we could do is hide the bag inside another plain bag. He thinks he can pass them to them at the lockers in the morning. We don't live near the other kids (private school distant from our home), so they don't see each other outside of school. ETA: Inviting them over is a nice idea, but it's not going to happen. There are reasons that we had the party outside of our home. Then don't bother. It's not worth it. Could you tell your DS that if the other kids have a birthday party, you'll include it with their gift? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Tell him school isn't an appropriate venue because he's not bringing something for everyone and it's not something specific for the kids (a birthday or going away gift for one child). Hang on to them for a bit in case you get together with the kids individually. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted January 30, 2017 Author Share Posted January 30, 2017 Thanks, everyone! I just need some confirmation of my opinion. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 you could also invite the boys who were unable to come due to illness for a playdate - and give them the goody bags then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 it depends. If someone wanted to come but then could not, I would give them a goody bag. If a friend just didn't come. no. For example, to a sick friend who was coming, yes. To the child who just couldn't/didn't for whatever reason, nah, not so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 If you choose to give them to the kids who didn't come, DO NOT send them to school. That forces the teacher to have to deal with it if other kids notice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
My4arrows Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 I wouldn't. The only time I've given goodie bags to those who couldn't attend is when they are very close friends of our family whom we see often and they missed because of illness. especially not at school. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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