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burnout


EmilyGF
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I have all 4 kids spend the night at my parents for a night. I drop them off early Friday morning. Spend Friday late morning and early afternoon getting the house back in order while dh is at work. Then in late afternoon I do something for myself(drink coffee and read, sit in the tub, go on a hike, etc.) Then when dh gets home the rest of our kid time is devoted to each other. We may go out to eat, go on a hike, read at a coffee shop, watch a favorite show together, play boardgames, TeA, just sit and talk or cuddle, etc. Then we go get the kids sometime in the morning or afternoon and spend the day with them.

 

If I'm extra burnt out the kids stay with my parents all weekend and we get a hotel somewhere and let other people worry about feeding us and cleaning up after us

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Look at my responsibilities and try to extricate myself from any that I am no longer excited about.

 

Make sleep a priority.

 

Let the kids binge watch something while I clean/organize/catch up.

 

I don't have relative they can stay with, so I have to do it solo.

 

I make the kids get back to helping with chores. I'm bad about gradually dropping my enforcement of chores, and then I get overwhelmed and burned out.

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I have all 4 kids spend the night at my parents for a night. I drop them off early Friday morning. Spend Friday late morning and early afternoon getting the house back in order while dh is at work. Then in late afternoon I do something for myself(drink coffee and read, sit in the tub, go on a hike, etc.) Then when dh gets home the rest of our kid time is devoted to each other. We may go out to eat, go on a hike, read at a coffee shop, watch a favorite show together, play boardgames, TeA, just sit and talk or cuddle, etc. Then we go get the kids sometime in the morning or afternoon and spend the day with them.

 

If I'm extra burnt out the kids stay with my parents all weekend and we get a hotel somewhere and let other people worry about feeding us and cleaning up after us

 

 

I need you to loan me your parents.

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Top things for me are going outside more, kids and all, sleep, and having Dh take the kids away for a few hours on weekends so I can get the house in order. Usually it creeps up when I'm feeling overwhelmed and the number one trigger for me with overwhelm is an out of control cluttered house. I'm not saying the house ever approaches perfect, but when I spend twenty minutes searching for someone's jacket or my homeschool binder, it can be the tipping point. That and alone time. I HAVE to have alone time. 

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It depends on what is causing the burnout.

 

If it is school I take a day or week off to refresh - lots of documentaries and field trips, and mommy picking up a new book. That's why we go year round - so I can take breaks as needed!

 

If life in general is stressing me out I lower my commitments big time. Less activities out of the house, less shopping and trips, even simplified cleaning routines. Lots of simple meals too. Just get back to basics.

 

If it is massive existential burnout I look at why I'm doing what I'm doing and what my goals are. Oftentimes my burnout in this area is losing sight of my goals and purpose in my daily tasks, or even just letting myself slip and get sloppy or lazy to the point of getting stressed over trying to complete the basics. Tightening up my schedule and remembering my why helps so much. Sometimes changing up what I'm doing to better reflect my priorities also helps, but more of it is a daily routine working out my mindset than some ephemeral goal for someday. Usually there is some chaos or disorder in my daily life that is wearing me down big time and can be fixed without needing to haul off and abandon my current course entirely :)

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I think an important cure / preventative for burnout is having some outlet that you are passionate about and give significant priority to in your life. It's really easy to give it all up when in caring mode and not notice you've stripped your life back to the daily grind. The balance is important. I think it can take quite a while to recover as you get that mental nourishment going again.

 

I'm trying to get my life back in balance with more rest/calm and get back to things I really want to acheive for myself.

Edited by lailasmum
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I went through major burnout this summer. This is what seems to be helping:

 

1) Praying. When I take the time to pray, ask God for His guidance, help, protection...it seems to make things better right away.

 

2) Have been walking the dog a couple miles almost everyday. During my walk I pray...for us, relatives, friends, folks in the forum I promise prayers too, for worlds' peace, for our country etc...it just helps me feel better.

 

3) Ask dh to take kids to fieldtrips so I can get stuff done

 

4) Try to find ME time. A massage, floating, coffee shop and read a book, go to Adoration at the church to spend time with the Lord... whatever I can afford/fit in.

 

5) Trying to find a little time to do something I enjoy (scrapbooking, reading)

 

6) Try my best to focus on my blessings. When I feel overwhelmed or burnt out I try to think of the positive and thank the Lord for it.

 

7) Try to ease stuff at home. Meal planning, cooking double batches, frozen crockpot , just whatever works to make life a little easier.

 

Good luck!! Hope you find something that works!

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What help for me for the day to day

1) sleep - hard to do things if perpetually half awake

2) read whatever I like from things like Wall Street Journal to cooking magazines

3) buy and eat my favourite snacks

4) play some boisterous music pieces on my piano

5) light exercise like stretching, exercise bike

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When burnt out, I hibernate for a while. It could be a couple of days or a week- Depends on the intensity of my physical and mental exhaustion. I postpone past commitments, don't commit to anything new, don't leave the house except to drop/pick or groceries, minimal cooking and cleaning, and spend the week in as much silence as possible. 

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I think an important cure / preventative for burnout is having some outlet that you are passionate about and give significant priority to in your life. It's really easy to give it all up when in caring mode and not notice you've stripped your life back to the daily grind. The balance is important. I think it can take quite a while to recover as you get that mental nourishment going again.

 

I'm trying to get my life back in balance with more rest/calm and get back to things I really want to acheive for myself.

I need to find an outlet :/

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I heard SWB's talk on burnout last year during the summer series. (Thank you, Susan, it was really helpful.)

 

What have you done when burnt out? I mean, burnt out in general, not just homeschooling, that was helpful?

Emily

 

PSA: This post contains CC.  Skip over it if those recommendations bother you.

 

I think it's going to be different for each person.  I went through fourteen years of homeschooling without hitting burnout.  Then I got nailed with postpartum depression (who gets this after eleven NON depressive deliveries? WTHeck?!)  and dealing with just being plain, old, burned out, absolutely DONE.

 

I've really felt like blogging about the valley............  But, you know, when  you're IN it, it's a little hard to do more than the basics of getting up, dealing with life, repeat.   It's been quite the journey.  I wouldn't say I'm back on the hill yet... just the slow travel back up.  But I've seen the valley and it's not pretty down there.

 

 

I needed to respect *myself* meaning, introversion and doing less is very "in" right now and can make the extrovert feel like wanting to "do" is wrong.  Respect how YOU are made.  And you can respect and appreciate how others are made and STILL like your own qualities, respect those qualities, and be proud of those qualities.  I'm a Martha. It's okay.  Jesus loved Martha too.  I just can't let my doing interfere with my loving and worshipping.

 

I needed to force myself to get outside, sometimes for hours, every day.

Get up and get moving.

Praise music.  A lot.

Time for prayer.

Sleep.  

Edited by BlsdMama
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Does anyone know if there Is there anyway to buy a replay or download of this talk? It sounds great.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I think this is the right link (on my phone and it's not displaying fully) : https://welltrainedmind.com/c/resources-for-parents/workshops-seminars/

 

Look towards the bottom of the page and you can click to buy from there.

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I tried a new schedule this year.  I REALLY did not want to homeschool this year and when, in the first two days of starting, my daughter had her daily math emotional hissy fit (which I thought we had solved), I said, "THAT'S IT!".  I called two charter schools only to find out the waiting lists for both schools were over 20 kids long.

 

So, I am following the public school schedule.  They start August 3rd and have some very nice breaks built in.  For example, we have two weeks off in October, followed by a week off in November, followed by two weeks off in December.  For some reason, knowing I will have a very long break has made things seem more doable.  Like I'm taking a short sprint and then getting to rest instead of doing a marathon.  

 

I have also realized that I need to laugh more.  My "favored" friendships are serious people like myself.  I am trying to find people that like to laugh and have fun.

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