Moving for no real reason?

[lovinmyboys]

We have lived in our current city for 6 years now. When Dh took this job here we thought we would only be here 3 years. We like it ok. I feel like I have friends-not "besties" but friends. My ds10 and ds8 have about 5 good friends each, but not a group of friends. Their good friends don't know each other. Dh doesn't really feel like he has any friends outside of work. He works a lot so I am not sure how he expects to have other friends though. I think our older two kids would miss their friends if we moved, but I don't think they would be devastated.

 

The other issue is that Dh works about 45 minutes from here. I know that is normal in some areas and he has been doing that commute for 6 years so it is normal for us. But, he has perfectly good suburbs very close to his office. I feel like if we are going to continue living in this city we should move closer to his work. If we do that, though, it would be almost like moving across the country. We likely wouldn't see current friends too often.

 

So, a job transfer came open in Denver. We are considering having Dh apply for it. It would be a lateral move. Dh would get about a 5% raise but I am sure housing costs more there. We might actually have a slightly lower standard of living. There really is no reason to move there other than we don't feel super attached to this area and Denver seems like a nice place to live.

 

I just don't know if it is worth the hassle of moving and uprooting our family for no real reason. The main reasons would be so Dh would have a shorter commute, to let Dh try some different things at work, and just to be able to enjoy that part of the country and get a new experience.

Edited August 26, 2016 by lovinmyboys

[Ottakee]

I would say if you want to move at all this would.be the time to do it before the boys get a lot older.

[Amira]

Those seem like good reasons to me to move, but I agree with balancing them with your kids' needs.

[ErinE]

Denver is a nice place to live. If you ever plan on moving, your children's ages are ideal if perhaps reaching the upper bounds of when I'd stop moving.

 

We've moved four times in the past five years and seven times over the past fourteen years. We're close to family now although not in an exciting or particularly beautiful part of the country. My oldest is fourteen, oldest DD is almost eleven. They really don't want to move again, and I feel the same.

Edited August 26, 2016 by ErinE

[SemiSweet]

I love moving, in your situation I absolutely would, and Denver is beautiful. The only thing that would give me pause would be if the kids had strong roots or bonds, but that doesn't sound like the case.

[lovinmyboys]

I think that I feel like moving there because I don't actually want to live in our current house and neighborhood much longer. But, if we move while we live here it seems to make sense to move by dh's office. So if we are going to move across the city, we might as well move across the country.

 

Otoh, we have made an effort this year to get plugged in here and it does feel more like home. I have planned field trips and extracurriculars. I just purchased our school books for the year. We just redid the boys' bedrooms. I guess I am not ready to move in the next month.

 

Sometimes I don't like being an adult.

[lovinmyboys]

I love moving, in your situation I absolutely would, and Denver is beautiful. The only thing that would give me pause would be if the kids had strong roots or bonds, but that doesn't sound like the case.

I don't think the kids have strong roots here. My oldest (who is 10) I think has some roots, but not strong ones. I am a little concerned that he may think they are strong and not want to move. I think my younger 3 would be all for it.

[prairiewindmomma]

Denver's traffic is horrendous. Plan your commute and target home buying to that if you do relo.

[hellen]

Denver is a great place to live but it is not for everyone. The area doesn't have a lot of trees or a lot of rain. Some people feel it looks a little brown and is too sunny. Most of the suburbs are set up with tiny yards and lots of shared open space. If you prefer a yard big enough for a garden, trampoline, large table, and swingset this might not be the place for you. There are numerous neighborhood playgrounds. Our neighborhood had two playgrounds, two large grassy areas, a baseball field, and basketball court. They were very easy to walk to because the lots are so tiny. There were about 5 playgrounds within one mile. Sidewalks are everywhere and bike paths.

 

The people who don't like it tend to come from the PNW and miss the rain and trees.

[Jennifer132]

Personally, as someone who made a cross country move, I wouldn't do it unless a) the money was worth it, especially moving to a higher cost of living area, or b) my husband really couldn't stand his work or for some reason had to take a job in another state.

[Outdoorsy Type]

I would do it if you and your family would have improved quality of life from what Denver has to offer. I love the area and being close to outdoor activities is important to me, so I would probably choose to move. Traffic and high cost of living might prevent someone else from enjoying life in the Denver area.

[lovinmyboys]

Denver's traffic is horrendous. Plan your commute and target home buying to that if you do relo.

I am hoping to live in the same area as his office as that is one of the reasons we would like to move. It seems like there are houses in our price range within walking range.

 

One thing I love about our area is the low cost of living. We can live a solidly middle class lifestyle on dh's income. I can't tell for sure if that would be the case in Denver.

[gingersmom]

Denver's traffic is horrendous. Plan your commute and target home buying to that if you do relo.

Not compared to the NY metro area. Or Washington, DC area.

[Tess in the Burbs]

well, long ago dh was commuting, so we moved 40 min across the area to be closer for his work.  Yep, lost all our friends on the other side of town.  That was hard on me and the kids.  Eventually the job no longer worked and DH wanted to move again.  Didn't like that after a year so we moved back where we had been.  And several years later we moved cross country for yet another job.  He's already changed that job and starts a new one in Sept.  That new job is almost an hour north.  I'm debating moving 45 min north for his commute.  And I know it's crazy.  I like where we are enough.  No best friends here.  People we are closer with are northeast, so moving closer to them is appealing.  Kids don't want to move again.  

 

I have found some moves to be awesome.  For me/kids.  We make friends and love life.  Usually dh hates the job when we are happy.  This last move has been difficult...no real close friends after 2 years close by. Kids don't want to move again though.  At least now life is less hurried.  Dh has liked, then hated his job.  And now he's excited about the new one.  I'm just tired of moving for his job.  And sometimes it's good for us, many times it's not.  My kids can handle new situations though.  But they lack those long term friendships I had growing up.  

 

We now live in a high COL.  I'm tired of feeling like every dime is gone.  We eat out less.  We buy less clothing.  I feel like we have much less.  I have to say NO all the time to activities, movies, concerts, etc.  So seriously consider how much you might like the place before going into a higher COL.  At this point we won't move out of the region/state.  But we may move closer to Dh's work in a year...time for him to decide if he likes the job enough.  Our location here is better for me/kids.  But it's costly.  I hate to move north a little and then he change jobs again and is commuting back down here.  

 

In other words, you can't predict how you will like it.  Or if the higher COL is doable.  Kids cost more as they get older.  Price on everything continues to rise.  I'm at the point that I would take a less desirable area and be able to afford to do more...

[prairiewindmomma]

I think I-25 (in the last couple of years) can be comparable to stretches of 495.

[bethben]

We moved a year ago for very similar reasons.  The only difference is that my husband was unemployed.  He too had been commuting 45 minutes (most days an hour) and thought in order to get a job that was a little further north, where most of the jobs were, we would have to move.  We had lived in our little small town for 17 years and had some close friends.  We decided that if had to move anyway, we may as well move someplace cool.  We are now living in Colorado Springs.  Yes, it's a lot drier here and I do miss the lush green I had in Minnesota, but, I get to look at mountains every day and the sun!!!  It's sunny a lot and in the winter that is a great thing.  I didn't get depressed last year because of overcast skies that lasted months.   The weather is a lot milder - summer is not so hot and winter is not so cold.  I think I used my air conditioner for 2 weeks this past summer.  It gets warm, but there are some nice breezes - no humidity.

 

The thing about Denver and Colorado Springs is that there seems to be quite the amount of people moving here which is making real estate and rentals skyrocket just due to housing shortages.  Denver especially.  I saw a news article about how the city was trying to encourage people to start renting out unused rooms in their homes to single people waiting for housing.  Crazy!  Our yard is small and there are more open parks within walking distance like a pp mentioned.  Overall, we're glad we did it.  We needed a change and needed an adventure.  

 

ETA:  Another cool reason is that in less than 2 hours, you can be in the mountains skiing or taking a very cool mini vacation without having to travel a long distance to get there.  Many people vacation here for good reason.  

Edited August 26, 2016 by bethben

[wapiti]

We did this, but 11 yrs ago. Traffic has increased a lot (I do spend time on I-25, but this morning it was clear at 7:15 getting some of my kids to school.... it depends on exactly where you're going - I have my tricks for my routes though dh drives 20+ miles on I25 to LoDo very early, usually before 6:30). I would look strategically at commute/real estate prices and at potential high schools in case you do not homeschool for high school. I would look at these details carefully before deciding to move. ( I don't imagine that we'll ever move)

[happymom4]

For me moving isn't the big deal, it's the dh changing jobs.  If you want to move closer to dh's job then go for it.  But changing jobs without a good reason affects his career.  Job hopping never looks good on a resume and he would be starting over as a new guy on the job when he has already invested six years in the current one.  At the current job he has built rapport and is, in theory, closer to getting a promotion if he stays put.  If the Denver job is not moving him to a higher position I wouldn't do it.

[lovinmyboys]

We did this, but 11 yrs ago. Traffic has increased a lot (I do spend time on I-25, but this morning it was clear at 7:15 getting some of my kids to school.... it depends on exactly where you're going - I have my tricks for my routes though dh drives 20+ miles on I25 to LoDo very early, usually before 6:30). I would look strategically at commute/real estate prices and at potential high schools in case you do not homeschool for high school. I would look at these details carefully before deciding to move. ( I don't imagine that we'll ever move)

I believe his office would be in or very near Stapleton. Do you know if it would be feasible to live there or near there as far as commute and schools and affordable(ish) housing?

[lovinmyboys]

For me moving isn't the big deal, it's the dh changing jobs. If you want to move closer to dh's job then go for it. But changing jobs without a good reason affects his career. Job hopping never looks good on a resume and he would be starting over as a new guy on the job when he has already invested six years in the current one. At the current job he has built rapport and is, in theory, closer to getting a promotion if he stays put. If the Denver job is not moving him to a higher position I wouldn't do it.

I wonder about moving for a lateral position as well. It is for the same company and they are looking to fill the position internally so it won't hurt his career. I don't know that it will help though.

[wapiti]

I believe his office would be in or very near Stapleton. Do you know if it would be feasible to live there or near there as far as commute and schools and affordable(ish) housing?

 

Unfortunately I don't know that area very well.  Also, affordable is relative.  I suspect there will be the typical tension between commute, schools, and neighborhood on the one hand and price on the other.  The Zillow map can be useful to get an idea of prices of various neighborhoods.  Then google about the neighborhoods.

Edited August 27, 2016 by wapiti

[hellen]

Here is the Stapleton website that shows neighborhoods, parks, stores, and other stuff.

 

http://www.stapletondenver.com/community/

 

Whether or not it is affordable depends on your income. Denver has become expensive. As you're looking at homes, keep in mind that basements are very common. Also, the region is designed so you'll spend time outdoors instead of indoors.

[Anne in CA]

I am hoping to live in the same area as his office as that is one of the reasons we would like to move. It seems like there are houses in our price range within walking range.

 

One thing I love about our area is the low cost of living. We can live a solidly middle class lifestyle on dh's income. I can't tell for sure if that would be the case in Denver.

I have enough relatives in Denver to be wary of affordable housing there. Often here is a lot of crime in those areas. I would be SURE it is safe for kids in the neighborhood you want to move to.

[eternalsummer]

We live in Colorado Springs; we moved here for no real reason either, except that we knew we didn't want to stay in Missouri and we drove through here on the way to the mountains once and loved it.  The homeschooling situation in Colorado is massively better than it was in Missouri (they have lots of charter schools and one day a week homeschool programs), the weather is great, people are nice, car insurance rates are lower, drivers are faster and less infuriating, water is cleaner, environment is beautiful, and weed is legal.

 

The bad is that during tourist season (all @#$@ summer!) there is a ton of traffic and they are terrible drivers.  Also rents (and I presume home prices) are rising quite fast.  Denver traffic in particular is obnoxiously bad, ime.  

 

On the other hand, when I go into Denver for the vegan bakery (which is not too far from Stapleton!  and has really awesome donuts), the architecture is great, some of the neighborhoods look nice, and there is a sort of positive vibe.  There are just also a million drivers zooming everywhere.  Also you occasionally get stuck on 1-25 and it takes 2 hours to travel 10 miles.