camibami Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Hold me. I once vented here about a horrid girls at DD's gymnastics. She has taken to picking on a new girl, who is quite small and also from Russia (so there is a language issue) and DD was very upset tonight about it. I just emailed the coach about the situation, and am feeling very nervous. Anyway, I am worried about the fallout, but really, this girl is out of control. Its gotta stop. I don't give a hoot how much money they spend at that place, their kid is a major bullying brat. I am *this close* to putting my oldest in the practice with them, and let her sort it out. PiedPiper doesn't take kindly to bullies!:boxing_smiley: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Our dc went to a small gym, but there was one unparented (spell check is saying unparented isn't a word?)out of control boy in there. One day I marched across the mat, got that kid in a corner and gave him what-for in a quiet, menacing voice, all the time with a smile on my face. The rest of the year, as long as he knew I was in that gym, he never gave anybody any grief. I can fully appreciate a coach not wanting to discipline a child, but really.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Our dc went to a small gym, but there was one unparented (spell check is saying unparented isn't a word?)out of control boy in there. One day I marched across the mat, got that kid in a corner and gave him what-for in a quiet, menacing voice, all the time with a smile on my face. The rest of the year, as long as he knew I was in that gym, he never gave anybody any grief. I can fully appreciate a coach not wanting to discipline a child, but really.... The year that some crazy boy, probably with a crush, started stomping hard on DD's toes while they sang in choir, I took him out of line and hissed, "I know your FATHER!" He was a bit intimidated, and I took to sitting behind the director and narrowed my eyes at him every time he raised his big ol foot. All of DD's friends thought I was the meanest looking mom on the planet that year, LOL, but things did settle down. DD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Good for you! I can't stand bullies. Keeping my fingers crossed that your situation works out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Wow, I desperately want to be friends with Aggie and Carol. You girls rock!! :thumbup1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Hold me. I once vented here about a horrid girls at DD's gymnastics. She has taken to picking on a new girl, who is quite small and also from Russia (so there is a language issue) and DD was very upset tonight about it. I just emailed the coach about the situation, and am feeling very nervous. Anyway, I am worried about the fallout, but really, this girl is out of control. Its gotta stop. I don't give a hoot how much money they spend at that place, their kid is a major bullying brat. I am *this close* to putting my oldest in the practice with them, and let her sort it out. PiedPiper doesn't take kindly to bullies!:boxing_smiley: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camibami Posted October 9, 2008 Author Share Posted October 9, 2008 Thanks guys. ((sigh)) Hoping for the best here. I have a feeling the coach will nto be happy to be involved in this, but I feel like I have no other choice. The head coach does send Horrid Girl out of practice fairly regularly, but now the girls are divided and the new coach does nothing but weakly tell Horrid Girl to "stop, please". So Horrid Girl is taking it to a whole new level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Good for you. I hope they listen!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Thanks guys. ((sigh)) Hoping for the best here. I have a feeling the coach will nto be happy to be involved in this, but I feel like I have no other choice. The head coach does send Horrid Girl out of practice fairly regularly, but now the girls are divided and the new coach does nothing but weakly tell Horrid Girl to "stop, please". So Horrid Girl is taking it to a whole new level. He needs to tell her what to do instead. Or he needs to tell the group in a positive fashion how they should treat each other, rather than how they 'shouldn't' treat each other. Positive orders are much more effective than negative ones, IME. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anissarobert Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 No advice, just some :grouphug: and support. My dd was in competitive gym for 4 years and there were a few girls who were just horrible. It always seemed that because they were talented and they felt special that they thought they could get away with being mean. The sad fact is they did get away with it. The coaches were more interested in winning meets than teaching character. Good luck. I think it is great that you sent that e-mail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 You will never, ever regret standing up for a child who needs your help. Let us know how it turns out. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 I hope they take your observations seriously. For a parent to be concerned about how child who's not theirs is treated should raise a big, red flag for the coach. They can't chalk it up to overprotection or helicopter parenting, you are a neutral observer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 I've cornered a bully (as a mom) twice. Once it worked, and once WWIII started up. I think putting your older dd in there sounds like a fantastic idea. Sometimes kids can sort things out pretty quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Hold me. I once vented here about a horrid girls at DD's gymnastics. She has taken to picking on a new girl, who is quite small and also from Russia (so there is a language issue) and DD was very upset tonight about it. I just emailed the coach about the situation, and am feeling very nervous. Anyway, I am worried about the fallout, but really, this girl is out of control. Its gotta stop. I don't give a hoot how much money they spend at that place, their kid is a major bullying brat. I am *this close* to putting my oldest in the practice with them, and let her sort it out. PiedPiper doesn't take kindly to bullies! One thing you can mention to the coach- if he doesn't take care of the brat, the kids who are getting picked on will eventually quit. All they will be left with are the brats. Who wants to coach a bunch of brats? (Maybe use a different word...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Hurray for you!! I think you should be proud of yourself--I can tell this took tremendous courage, and standing up for someone else's child wasn't your responsibility, but you took it on anyway! This type of thing is my speciality--standing up for the downtrodden, since I was little. I have no prob speaking up for other people's rights--or my own (gifted with a very big mouth ;) ), and usually pretty diplomatically-although online, I may not be quite as diplomatic ;). I think taking it to the coach in this case was important--this new coach has a responsibility and job to do, and needs to be able to do. If that job isn't being done, the head coach needs to know, and take care of it. What about the other bullies you don't see, who get away with it? You've done many future children a huge favor, I am sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamnkats Posted October 11, 2008 Share Posted October 11, 2008 The year that some crazy boy, probably with a crush, started stomping hard on DD's toes while they sang in choir, I took him out of line and hissed, "I know your FATHER!" He was a bit intimidated, and I took to sitting behind the director and narrowed my eyes at him every time he raised his big ol foot. All of DD's friends thought I was the meanest looking mom on the planet that year, LOL, but things did settle down.DD Good for you! I can't stand bullies. Keeping my fingers crossed that your situation works out. Am I understanding correctly that *you* found bully behaviour unacceptable but bullied a child into doing your bidding? It wasn't ok for the child to bully your child but it was ok for you to bully the "bully"? I wonder what the child learned from that experience... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camibami Posted October 11, 2008 Author Share Posted October 11, 2008 Update!! We had practice tonight, and the head coach stopped me outside and told me read the email, and had noticed the behavior herself. She was going to talk to the coach who has been spending the most time with DD's level (they split off this year) and let her know. So at least the head coach was aware of it (she had sent the girl out of practice before, etc) and was not going to just sort of blow it off. I have had some misunderstandings and frustrations with the coaches, because they are eastern European and have a different perspective than...well...everyone not eastern European and really into rhythmic gymnastics!So I was really nervous about the email, because in the past the coach has maybe not been so open to dealing with parents in any way past "practice at this time, bring this equipment".The language barrier is substantial, too. But the poor 5 year old girl who speaks only Russian was the final straw, and happily it looks like they are going to address this. Whew! So I guess I won't have to send in the "big gun", ie Big Sister, LOL. Or talk to her mom myself, because wow, I really don't want to do that! That would be u-g-l-y. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 (edited) Am I understanding correctly that *you* found bully behaviour unacceptable but bullied a child into doing your bidding? It wasn't ok for the child to bully your child but it was ok for you to bully the "bully"? I wonder what the child learned from that experience... ...and reminded him of it non-verbally but non-physically and non-disruptively, too. I was not insulting, I merely conveyed to him that if he physically attacked my DD that I would so inform his father. I figure that he learned that he is part of a community, and that if he attacks someone, he is not invisible to all others--good life lessons for sure. Edited October 17, 2008 by Carol in Cal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.