Learned nothing in school?

[manicmum81]

I recently took my DD9 out of school - we're in the UK btw.

 

I had assumed that it would be a case of gap filling before we got any real work done and made some progress. She had been falling behind (to my knowledge) only in Maths with some basic errors in English still being made. However, now I have her home full time I have realised that she doesn't seem to know anything!

 

I am not being mean or expecting too much of her. Honestly, I became so frustrated that I began giving her Year 3 work (she's at the beginning of Year 5) thinking it might build her confidence to do things she had already covered and that we would fly through the work and be caught up fairly quickly since everything from her target age was too hard for her and resulted in tears.

 

We are a few weeks in and she doesn't seem to have retained anything she learnt at school. My eldest daughter (11) is also at home with me now and she answers all the questions that I pose for her younger sister which, whilst is annoying since I want her sister to answer, at least reassures me that she knows it all herself.

 

I feel a little lost. I had not planned to teach her from almost the ground up across all subjects. I am sticking with the Year 3 work at the moment but I feel frustrated. It's like she wasted all those years in school and got nothing out of it. I thought she might be faking it and just didn't want to work at home, that it might be an avoidance thing but it's not. If DD11 doesn't answer and I make her do it, she comes out with a bunch of nonsense for the most part. Even things we have just read through or discussed, she is lost and hasn't absorbed any of the information. I could point at the exact line the answer might be, she will read it and still come out with something wrong. :confused1:

Has anyone else had this? What do I do? Just keep plugging away, hoping some of it comes back to her or assume she didn't retain anything at all and teach her from scratch? Is it a more deep rooted learning disability?

 

Any advice is welcome.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would have her evaluated.  

[HomeAgain]

Do you see it as an issue in other areas of her life?  Can she read a book or watch a movie and tell you the plot?  Understand board game rules? 

[abba12]

I'm very sorry to say this isn't entirely unusual.... My mum pulled my 'average, slightly struggling in math' sister out at the END of grade 5. She ended up returning to 2nd grade math and discovered my sister was dyslexic and basically couldn't read. 

 

The good news is that there was a passing familiarity, so she passed through the work quicker. I think she basically did grade 2, 3 and 4 math during her 6th grade year, then did 5th and 6th math during her 7th grade year, and then remained a year behind for the rest of school. Her reading also improved to an adult level with time. 

 

I would assume she retains very little. Go back to the beginning, the earliest work she can complete successfully, with the hope of being able to cover it quicker than a younger child would, and as some of it begins to seem familiar she may even be able to skip portions (my sister completely understood graphs for example). Also check for dyslexia, which frequently goes undiagnosed in our area at least. 

 

Don't lose hope though! The one-on-one environment of homeschooling will help this process so much. You can't do anything about the past, but you have the potential to make great progress now. 

[Arcadia]

My brother needed a lot more drill for anything to be retained. My parents had to drill him after school or he forgets.

I'll start from scratch and let her slowly catch up.

[manicmum81]

Do you see it as an issue in other areas of her life? Can she read a book or watch a movie and tell you the plot? Understand board game rules?

She can read but it is not with joy, I was making her read aloud to me for 10-15 mins in the morning and books that I had assumed were age appropriate, she struggled with (stuck on lots of words or not knowing their meaning) and we had to go for simpler books.

 

In general I suppose it can be hard for her to remember a lot of what she sees or does. She gives you the basics but no real detail seems to have stuck.

[almondbutterandjelly]

You might google Visual Spatial Learner and see if that fits her at all.  If so, there are a lot of strategies you can use.

 

Your experience is not unusual.  My dd never learned any math in school.  I had to start at square one.  Singapore Math ("Primary Math" 1A and 1B are great places to start, by the way.  Especially if she needs visuals and big picture concepts.)

 

Best wishes.  Trust your gut.  If you need to go back further, go back further.  If you need to get her evaluated, do that. 

[EKT]

I don't have personal experience with this, so I can't really give advice, but I wanted to chime in to lend support. This sounds really hard. :grouphug: 

 

So...you can't do anything about where you think she "should" be. She is where she is. Literally all you can do is start right now with where she is today and try to take her further down the road of her own educational journey. If she's lacking confidence in herself, you might also want to incorporate something--anything--that you KNOW she will be successful at. For instance, having her read books that you know she will find easy, or doing some creative projects in which the process matters far more than the finished product, etc. I would try to make sure she feels some measure of success every day, in some small way, because for me, the most important thing would be to try and preserve her sense of self and not allow her to start believing the lie that she is "stupid." (I'm not at all suggesting that you ARE hurting her sense of self! I'm just projecting how I might feel in the situation--where my older sister seemed to be so smart--and yet I was struggling mightily to succeed at things that "should" be easy.) So, I would try to be as supportive as I could, and make my, "You can do this! I know you can! I will help you!" attitude my default as much as possible. 

 

I know very little about "getting evaluated," but if you suspect she might have legitimate learning disabilities, I would look into that. It can't hurt to just find out. Best of luck to you. It will be okay; when you feel like you're at rock bottom, know that things can only go up and improve from there!

[HomeAgain]

I would definitely get her tested then.  You can work on memory development at home, removing objects, playing the "Johnny went on a trip and brought.." type games, requiring retelling of short passages, but an assessment will help much more.

[OneStepAtATime]

I agree with upthread.  Get her evaluated. She could have dyslexia or a host of other things that can be dealt with effectively and get her back on track, but only if you know what the issues are.  An eval will keep you from guess and worrying if maybe there really IS something going on besides just poor instruction while still struggling to help her move forward with no idea how to effectively address her struggles.  You might look into Auditory Processing Disorder, dyslexia, developmental vision issues, etc.  If she really does have any of these issues, the sooner you know and get her the help she needs the better off you both will be.  And if it turns out she doesn't, then you also have a useful answer.  

 

Read The Mislabeled Child by Brock and Fernette Eide.  It might help point you in the right direction.

[manicmum81]

I'm very sorry to say this isn't entirely unusual.... My mum pulled my 'average, slightly struggling in math' sister out at the END of grade 5. She ended up returning to 2nd grade math and discovered my sister was dyslexic and basically couldn't read.

 

The good news is that there was a passing familiarity, so she passed through the work quicker. I think she basically did grade 2, 3 and 4 math during her 6th grade year, then did 5th and 6th math during her 7th grade year, and then remained a year behind for the rest of school. Her reading also improved to an adult level with time.

 

I would assume she retains very little. Go back to the beginning, the earliest work she can complete successfully, with the hope of being able to cover it quicker than a younger child would, and as some of it begins to seem familiar she may even be able to skip portions (my sister completely understood graphs for example). Also check for dyslexia, which frequently goes undiagnosed in our area at least.

 

Don't lose hope though! The one-on-one environment of homeschooling will help this process so much. You can't do anything about the past, but you have the potential to make great progress now.

Dyslexia was a concern of mine on and off since she was about 4 because she seemed to take so long to learn the basics. She will write a word incorrectly even when copying work word for word from a book and does not remember anything she has just read or had read aloud to her. If asked she might have picked out one or two words and repeat those but she hasn't grasped the concept or topic as a whole and often comes out with a bunch of nonsense or thrown in things I haven't even said. The fact that I can point to the EXACT place in a piece of text an answer is and she can still get it wrong made me think there was something more going on.

 

Maths is a nightmare. She doesn't understand most things and it makes her feel stupid and want to give up all the time. I honestly don't understand how the school didn't see a bigger issue. Having said that, her brother was only recently assessed for dyslexia at school and they think he probably is now despite years of telling me that my concerns were unfounded so I shouldn't be surprised really.

 

I doubt she will ever be a mathematical whizz but if I can get the essentials to stick then I'll be happy. I guess it's back to very beginning and start from there.

[manicmum81]

I don't have personal experience with this, so I can't really give advice, but I wanted to chime in to lend support. This sounds really hard. :grouphug:

 

So...you can't do anything about where you think she "should" be. She is where she is. Literally all you can do is start right now with where she is today and try to take her further down the road of her own educational journey. If she's lacking confidence in herself, you might also want to incorporate something--anything--that you KNOW she will be successful at. For instance, having her read books that you know she will find easy, or doing some creative projects in which the process matters far more than the finished product, etc. I would try to make sure she feels some measure of success every day, in some small way, because for me, the most important thing would be to try and preserve her sense of self and not allow her to start believing the lie that she is "stupid." (I'm not at all suggesting that you ARE hurting her sense of self! I'm just projecting how I might feel in the situation--where my older sister seemed to be so smart--and yet I was struggling mightily to succeed at things that "should" be easy.) So, I would try to be as supportive as I could, and make my, "You can do this! I know you can! I will help you!" attitude my default as much as possible.

 

I know very little about "getting evaluated," but if you suspect she might have legitimate learning disabilities, I would look into that. It can't hurt to just find out. Best of luck to you. It will be okay; when you feel like you're at rock bottom, know that things can only go up and improve from there!

I know it is hard for her that her sister is 'the smart one' or finds things easier than she does. I reassure her that her sister is older and therefore has already done all this so it is natural for her to know the answers.

 

The problem I have is that because the school system has geared them up to be hyper aware of 'levels' and 'attainment' it makes her feel dumb if she is working on things she knows her younger siblings are doing or even lower. We use ConquerMaths and she even got some things wrong on the Reception level when she tried which left her appalled! I keep trying to get her to realise that there is no point trying to move forward at the older levels when she hasn't grasped the basics, that it is like asking someone who has only had a few German lessons to read an entire book in German. She can't run before she can walk. It doesn't mean she is stupid, it just means she needs to have a solid foundation to build on before she gets back to where she is aware she 'should' be.

[manicmum81]

I think the process of getting any kind of assessment is a little different in the UK. It always seems like hard work especially when you don't have a school to back you up with concerns.

 

When I got given all her old school books and saw things that she had done that she cannot do at home and queried it she admitted that either the TA had been helping her or that she copied other children's work who were sat near her :( The pages that were filled with red marks or teacher comments about her getting confused or remembering to ask for help were done unaided.

[EKT]

I know it is hard for her that her sister is 'the smart one' or finds things easier than she does. I reassure her that her sister is older and therefore has already done all this so it is natural for her to know the answers.

 

The problem I have is that because the school system has geared them up to be hyper aware of 'levels' and 'attainment' it makes her feel dumb if she is working on things she knows her younger siblings are doing or even lower. We use ConquerMaths and she even got some things wrong on the Reception level when she tried which left her appalled! I keep trying to get her to realise that there is no point trying to move forward at the older levels when she hasn't grasped the basics, that it is like asking someone who has only had a few German lessons to read an entire book in German. She can't run before she can walk. It doesn't mean she is stupid, it just means she needs to have a solid foundation to build on before she gets back to where she is aware she 'should' be.

 

I totally get that--that SHE is the one aware that she is working "below level." Maybe instead of using boxed curriculum that is overtly tied to grade level, you could use another method of instruction? For instance, perhaps something Charlotte Mason style--where she just reads living books and does narrations and illustrations to demonstrate her learning--instead of using a commercial "YEAR 3" or "Year 5" science curriculum--would be a better fit? Maybe moving away from things that are labeled by grade and instead doing unit studies or projects that are more independent would be a good fit for her. 

 

The good news is that you are obviously doing this with your whole heart! She is going to be okay. I would get some evaluations done, maybe get some professional advice and then craft up a plan of learning/course of study that is specific to her for the next year. Then, after you've done that, pause and see how it's going. You can always reevaluate. But I would focus on process. So, instead of saying, "We need to get her through this science workbook by June," say, "We are going to spend two afternoons per week studying science." This way, your focus is on what you can control--the process--and less about her reaching some specific achievement. Might take the pressure off a bit and get her to see her work as self-contained and not in competition with her peers. 

 

Lots of hugs and good luck to you! 

[OneStepAtATime]

Yes maybe switch to things that are not tied to levels.  Math on the Level is one such curriculum.  Charlotte Masonish materials, as mentioned upthread are usually not tied to specific levels.  If she is struggling with math, I highly recommend Ronit Bird's books and e-books.  Please look into that.  Ronit Bird is in the U.K.  As for your child's other struggles, there must be some way to get evaluations.  You both could be spinning your wheels getting more and more frustrated and not have a clear path to follow without evals.  Are there no pathways for private evaluation?  

 

Please read The Mislabeled Child by Brock and Fernette Eide. I also recommend The Dyslexic Advantage by the same authors.  Overcoming Dyslexia by Sally Shaywitz is still helpful, although somewhat outdated.

 

You might also give your child the Barton Reading and Spelling student screening.  Even if you don't intend to buy Barton, the screening may help you determine if there are other issues besides dyslexia that are tripping her up.  You would need to pass the tutor screening first, but it is fairly short, is not testing background knowledge but sound discrimination and is easy to do.  Make sure you are both rested and that you cannot be interrupted.

 

https://bartonreading.com/tutors/#ts

https://bartonreading.com/students/#ss

 

Edited November 20, 2015 by OneStepAtATime

[Bluegoat]

Have you had her home since the beginning of the year?

 

I have known a few kids who were kind of bombed out by school - they had learned to shut it all out and essentially live in their heads - in fact I was like that myself.  I think if it looks like her brother is dyslexic it would be worthwhile to look at her as well.  However, the kids I knew who had shut down seemed to need some significant time to start really being aware and taking things in again.

 

I think that as far as content retention, I would start with you reading stories to her and having her narrate them.  Perhaps even quite short ones like Aesop's tales or 50 Famous Stories Retold.  Over time you can do longer readings, or short ones which she reads to herself.

[manicmum81]

I agree with everyone that we need to be less 'year' or 'level' focused. I suppose it was the easier option for me as it meant less prep work but also I thought that if they wanted to go back to school at a later date, they would have covered the same things as their peers.

[manicmum81]

Have you had her home since the beginning of the year?

 

I have known a few kids who were kind of bombed out by school - they had learned to shut it all out and essentially live in their heads - in fact I was like that myself. I think if it looks like her brother is dyslexic it would be worthwhile to look at her as well. However, the kids I knew who had shut down seemed to need some significant time to start really being aware and taking things in again.

 

I think that as far as content retention, I would start with you reading stories to her and having her narrate them. Perhaps even quite short ones like Aesop's tales or 50 Famous Stories Retold. Over time you can do longer readings, or short ones which she reads to herself.

Perhaps there is a degree of shutting down. She tends to just want to get it all done as quickly as possible so she can say she is done on that topic whereas I keep trying to get her to understand that I don't care how long it takes. I would rather we didn't get it all finished and she actually took something in or learned something from it than getting it done for getting it done's sake. Again, this is a school mentality. They were timed on a lot of activities and if they didn't complete things were kept in at break times or were told they had to write at least a page before they could stop etc.

 

She also thinks that not being able to do sums in her head and needing paper or her fingers to work it out makes her stupid (her sister has always been quick with mental math) but I myself have to write things down for it to make sense to me.

 

Until I rebuild her confidence I don't suppose we are going to get very far.

[manicmum81]

Yes maybe switch to things that are not tied to levels. Math on the Level is one such curriculum. Charlotte Masonish materials, as mentioned upthread are usually not tied to specific levels. If she is struggling with math, I highly recommend Ronit Bird's books and e-books. Please look into that. Ronit Bird is in the U.K. As for your child's other struggles, there must be some way to get evaluations. You both could be spinning your wheels getting more and more frustrated and not have a clear path to follow without evals. Are there no pathways for private evaluation?

 

Please read The Mislabeled Child by Brock and Fernette Eide. I also recommend The Dyslexic Advantage by the same authors. Overcoming Dyslexia by Sally Shaywitz is still helpful, although somewhat outdated.

 

You might also give your child the Barton Reading and Spelling student screening. Even if you don't intend to buy Barton, the screening may help you determine if there are other issues besides dyslexia that are tripping her up. You would need to pass the tutor screening first, but it is fairly short, is not testing background knowledge but sound discrimination and is easy to do. Make sure you are both rested and that you cannot be interrupted.

 

https://bartonreading.com/tutors/#ts

https://bartonreading.com/students/#ss

I will take a look thank you.

 

The Education Officer is due at our home next week as they like to have a nose around with new home educators to make sure you know what you are doing and offer advice. I think I will ask them if they can help with assessments.

[SusanneA]

My daughter struggled in almost exactly the same way. She didn't retain her lessons and had a terrible time relating back to us what she had just been told.

 

When we pulled her out of private school in 3rd grade she was failing or at best a "C" student in every subject. She has graduated our homeschool now and she was never an exceptional student. It just isn't her strength. She did go to college, by the way, was on the dean's list from the very first semester and is now a licensed EMT. Not all kids learn well by traditional methods but it doesn't necessarily mean there is a problem

 

We discovered my daughter pretty much shut down when we did auditory lessons. Her eyes literally glazed over. But when she does things hands-on, she gets it. She learned biology by working hands-on at a vets office. She learned about ancient Egypt by putting on an Egyptian festival complete with foods, costumes and games. She learned history by touring civil war battlefields.

 

I'm always a little leary about evaluations simply because they can be a self-fulfilling prophesy. Does my daughter have an auditory processing disorder? Maybe. Do we care? No. We avoided having her evaluated and found the best way to help her learn. Today, as a 25 year old, it doesn't matter one bit if she had or still has a challenge with auditory learning. Instead of feeling disfunctional, she was empowered to learn whatever she needed whenever she needed because she learned how to learn.

[manicmum81]

My daughter struggled in almost exactly the same way. She didn't retain her lessons and had a terrible time relating back to us what she had just been told.

 

When we pulled her out of private school in 3rd grade she was failing or at best a "C" student in every subject. She has graduated our homeschool now and she was never an exceptional student. It just isn't her strength. She did go to college, by the way, was on the dean's list from the very first semester and is now a licensed EMT. Not all kids learn well by traditional methods but it doesn't necessarily mean there is a problem

 

We discovered my daughter pretty much shut down when we did auditory lessons. Her eyes literally glazed over. But when she does things hands-on, she gets it. She learned biology by working hands-on at a vets office. She learned about ancient Egypt by putting on an Egyptian festival complete with foods, costumes and games. She learned history by touring civil war battlefields.

 

I'm always a little leary about evaluations simply because they can be a self-fulfilling prophesy. Does my daughter have an auditory processing disorder? Maybe. Do we care? No. We avoided having her evaluated and found the best way to help her learn. Today, as a 25 year old, it doesn't matter one bit if she had or still has a challenge with auditory learning. Instead of feeling disfunctional, she was empowered to learn whatever she needed whenever she needed because she learned how to learn.

I can relate to the eyes glazing over. I can see this in my daughter and it is discouraging but when she read things herself it wasn't working so I thought maybe if she didn't have to do the reading it might be better for her but I'm learning that doesn't work either.

 

I'm not a lover of labels but I think they have a place. Perhaps she doesn't have any issues, maybe she is just a little slower than average in her learning and that's ok. I think it's concern for the future and what options she will have open to her if I can't get her up to speed enough to take any exams.

 

This parenting business is hard work lol

[Janeway]

Same thing here. Older child was already home homeschooling, younger child stayed in public school until mid-4th grade (9/10 yrs old year). When younger child came home, he did not even know to start a sentence with a capital letter and end with punctuation. We kept plugging away and things are far better now. 

 

One thing I will tell you is, your 11 yr old has to stop that behavior. She knows what she is doing and what she is doing is trying to make fun of 9 yr old for not knowing this stuff. Don't fall for it under the guise of "glad to know SHE knows it." It is bullying. My older child did this to my younger and still tries it. It really puts a damper in progress.

[kiwik]

I am conatantly having to remind ds8 not to answer for ds6. If it is really bad ds6 and i go to another room or i send ds8 to read on his bed. There has been some improvement though. Just keep on it.

 

Math Mammoth topic books go across grades. They do have numbers but they don't relate to grade or year - Multiplication 1 is the first multiplication not a grade 1 book.

[manicmum81]

I am aware that DD11's behaviour is unacceptable. She has a tendency to try to prove how clever she is compared to others because she has her own insecurities (she was bullied at school and one of the reasons I took her out) and that comes out in bullying ways of her own unfortunately. She also gets worse if she is struggling at her own work, it's her coping mechanism. I cant do my own work so I will just prove how much I know of my sister's type of thing.

 

I do send her to work in her room when she gets really bad but other times I need her in the same room because she is doing work that I know she is going to need assistance with.

 

I am taking all of the advice and suggestions on board. Thank you all. :001_smile:

[OneStepAtATime]

I am aware that DD11's behaviour is unacceptable. She has a tendency to try to prove how clever she is compared to others because she has her own insecurities (she was bullied at school and one of the reasons I took her out) and that comes out in bullying ways of her own unfortunately. She also gets worse if she is struggling at her own work, it's her coping mechanism. I cant do my own work so I will just prove how much I know of my sister's type of thing.

 

I do send her to work in her room when she gets really bad but other times I need her in the same room because she is doing work that I know she is going to need assistance with.

 

I am taking all of the advice and suggestions on board. Thank you all. :001_smile:

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

DD is the same way with DS and for similar reasons.  It has created an exceedingly unhealthy dynamic in our household despite my best efforts.  I have had to separate them completely for most schooling so that they both can keep moving forward.  I wish you and your family all the best.  Good luck.

[Kat w]

Awwww susanneA. I love love that post :) so true and warm fuzzies .

My daughter is a paramedic. Loves her job.

[Melissa in Australia]

A positive story

I took my children out of school when my oldest was in grade 5. He couldn't really read, and couldn't write at all. I had to take him right back to grade 2 for everything except maths ( where he was on grade level).  He has dyslexia. We managed to catch him up. it was hard work in the beginning as he didn't believe I could teach him anything ( far enough, the teachers at school hadn't) I literally dragged him through some subjects and scribed for him in history etc. until he was 15.

 

 He started doing university units at 16, and went to live at University at 17, He is studying 4th year Aerospace Engineering and last year got on the Deans List.

[manicmum81]

A positive story

I took my children out of school when my oldest was in grade 5. He couldn't really read, and couldn't write at all. I had to take him right back to grade 2 for everything except maths ( where he was on grade level). He has dyslexia. We managed to catch him up. it was hard work in the beginning as he didn't believe I could teach him anything ( far enough, the teachers at school hadn't) I literally dragged him through some subjects and scribed for him in history etc. until he was 15.

 

He started doing university units at 16, and went to live at University at 17, He is studying 4th year Aerospace Engineering and last year got on the Deans List.

Wow amazing! I can see a lot of dragging through subjects in my future but nice to know there are positive endings out there.

[Melissa in Australia]

Just remember that people with Dyslexia usually have above average intelligence. They are not dumb or stupid, but rather trapped in a world that requires lots of reading and writing - skills they struggle with. Just about every inventor and  explorer had dyslexia.

[BusyMom5]

This isn't uncommon, I would raise my hand to join the other moms here who experienced the same thing.  After about 6 months of schooling at home, it was clear to me that something still wasn't quite right, so we did evaluations.  Now I know what the issues are, and we are doing much better by keeping those in mind when teaching and picking curriculum.  You cannot start filling the gaps until you really know where they are.  You may be applying a patch to a broken foundation, when you need to shore up the foundation first.  Be honest about what she knows, what she doesn't, and place her accordingly.  Find out how she learns (visual? get as many manipulatives as you can find to show concepts in math).  What I found was a much higher understanding of concepts, but a lack of understanding when to apply which ones and a total lack of math fact memorization (which makes upper grades almost impossibly long to do).  You may need to customize what you are doing, by blending a few different programs together. We are in our second year of HSing (5th grade), and it's going so much smoother!  I think my DD now feels like she really knows what she is doing in math, and she's doing much better in reading comprehension and vocabulary as well.  We are still plugging along, but at least we have a plan and can both see the improvements!

[IsabelC]

Of my three kids, one learned almost nothing worthwhile in school while the other two actually went backwards, particularly with math, coming out of (one and two years respectively of) school unable to manage the work we'd been doing before they went to school. Once you have ruled out any developmental issues (or alternatively identified the relevant issues and received advice on how to handle them) my advice would be to go 'back' as far as you need to and lay the necessary groundwork for future progress.

When I pulled my children out of school I was upset at how 'behind' they were, and particularly annoyed that the school had not advised me of any problems. When I was given the above advice on this forum, I felt like we would never 'catch up' if we revisited old stuff; I wanted to race ahead with all possible speed! However it honestly was very worthwhile, and we are finally getting there now. My 6th grader is set to finish his numeracy and literacy work on level to begin seventh grade work in February (our new school year) while my 4th grader will be only a few months 'behind' going into her theoretical fifth grade year. The second grader is accelerated, but again it's taken a year of painstaking work to find the level most suitable for her, and she will be moving onto 4th grade work by about March. More importantly, they are all doing their curriculum work with minimal resistance and sometimes enjoyment, which is a massive achievement considering that we were having regular tantrums at first.

Having said that, if you think your child has a bit of an attitude problem, perhaps you could try letting her chill out and 'deschool' for a little while, and then put your foot down and insist she start working hard. (I know it's hard to give her a break when you're already concerned about her progress, but a lot of people swear by the deschooling process as a method of rekindling enthusiasm for learning.)

[manicmum81]

Thank you all.

 

I have decided, after a pretty unproductive day, that I'm going to drop all subjects other than maths and English with dd9 until she can get a proper grip on them. Reading aloud and her tables every morning also but other than that, I've realised trying to focus on any more is pointless until she can perfect those two subjects. This morning she even got some questions wrong doing addition to 20. :(

 

Keeping it as simple as possible from now on.

[Deee]

Some things to try:

Look up Charlotte Mason's methods. Read together and have your child tell the story back (narration). Start really small. Ask leading questions until she gets her confidence back. Use this method to cover science and history. Honestly, at 9, she doesn't need to write much. Get her to draw instead if that works. Watch docos - the UK has great documentaries on all sorts of stuff for kids. Go to museums and the theatre and galleries and on nature walks. Don't stop teaching her because reading and writing aren 't easy for her - there are plenty of other ways to access knowledge.

 

Drop all mention of grades. They are irrelevant in homeschooling. She is where she is. Try project based learning or unit studies instead.

 

For maths: the Key to workbooks are ungraded (they're topic specific), they contain lots of repetition, and lots of white space. Friends have used them with great success with kids who need a slower route. MEP is fantastic, completely free (google MEP maths - it comes from Cambridge) and teaches maths conceptually. Its great for kids who think they can't do maths. It turned my son from a struggler to an advanced maths student (he has dyspraxia, so this is no small achievement).

 

You must send your older child from the room if she can't co-operate. Teach one in the am and one in pm if you have to (a PITA I know). Schools foster competition. It has no place in homeschooling. She is old enough to get that, and if she's been bullied, she should get it when you call her on that behaviour.

 

Give yourself time to grieve. We "accidental homeschoolers" often have preconceived ideas about how our kids will experience school. When it doesn't work out, we feel angry and sad. This is perfectly valid. You all need to "deschool" for a while.

D

[Deee]

And lapbooks - these make school fun again for many kids. Loads of free lapbooks online. Google some images and have a look at Homeschool Share http://www.homeschoolshare.com/lapbooking_resources.php