If you saw my depression post

[Tarheel Heather]

Here's a question:

 

Do you find that if your day is structured it helps?

 

 

 

I tend not to follow a schedule, but I wonder if this would help or hinder my little psyche. Just curious to know from those who have BTDT.

 

Thanks!

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Here's a question:

 

Do you find that if your day is structured it helps?

 

 

 

I tend not to follow a schedule, but I wonder if this would help or hinder my little psyche. Just curious to know from those who have BTDT.

 

Thanks!

 

Structure doesn't help my mood at all, but it helps me get done what needs to get done. So it wouldn't hurt your psyche. It might give you relief and less guilt and a bit more room to actually *heal* your psyche.

 

:grouphug:

 

Hope you feel better.

[Tarheel Heather]

Structure doesn't help my mood at all, but it helps me get done what needs to get done. So it wouldn't hurt your psyche. It might give you relief and less guilt and a bit more room to actually *heal* your psyche.

 

:grouphug:

 

Hope you feel better.

 

 

Dh says I need more structure and small projects.

 

I just know if I had something on my "list" and didn't get to it, I would have a fit.

 

I feel good if we get school done!

[TravelingChris]

No, it does not help me get better. My depression periods are linked to my underlying autoimmune disease(s) and come about when I get a flare of the disease. I need to slow down then and do things to get over the flare as quickly as possible.

[fshinkevich]

I am semi-structured. I plan what lessons I need done for the day, but I do not put time frames on anything. I am 99% successful in getting everything done that needs to be done, sometimes things need to be finished the next day. In my first year that really stressed me out, but I have learned to be flexible as I see the progress we make.

 

Another helpful thing is I set up my schedule as a 4 day week, with Fridays off so if we had any work we did not complete we could make up for it on Friday. If we finished everything than we will make it a field trip day or a baking day or some other fun thing. I can also complete things on the weekend when DH is home to help with the little ones.

[Lux Et Veritas Academy]

No, it does not help me get better. My depression periods are linked to my underlying autoimmune disease(s) and come about when I get a flare of the disease. I need to slow down then and do things to get over the flare as quickly as possible.

 

Do you mind sharing details about the type of autoimmune diseases you have- I just found out I am in that same market- Is depression a part of the diseases?

[scrappymom]

I didn't actually see your depression post...but i thought that i would chip in with my 2cents on this....I am in therapy for depression...and the only thing that is left for me to do so i can finally be done with my therapy is to find some routine/discipline/structure to my life. And i know that i certainly feel better if i know what the heck i am supposed to be doing...so i thought that i would say yes, i think it will definitely help you out.

[Tarheel Heather]

Do you mind sharing details about the type of autoimmune diseases you have- I just found out I am in that same market- Is depression a part of the diseases?

 

I'm kinda there as well, but it's the medication. Either way there is going to be something I have to learn to deal with.

[Mom2legomaniacs]

One thing I will caution about structure is to be careful of putting too much pressure on yourself to get it all done. I would say to start with easier, minimum type things that are sure to succeed. It can be a fine line balancing act to find what you can handle and what tips you over. Some structure is good. I have for me, that getting out of my set routine of sitting on my behind in my chair on this computer helps. Going to another room without the usual "hiding tools" with me.

 

Did that make any sense? :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Tarheel Heather]

One thing I will caution about structure is to be careful of putting too much pressure on yourself to get it all done. I would say to start with easier, minimum type things that are sure to succeed. It can be a fine line balancing act to find what you can handle and what tips you over. Some structure is good. I have for me, that getting out of my set routine of sitting on my behind in my chair on this computer helps. Going to another room without the usual "hiding tools" with me.

 

Did that make any sense? :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Yep!

 

That's what I was thinking.

[Elaine]

Here's a question:

 

Do you find that if your day is structured it helps?

 

 

 

I tend not to follow a schedule, but I wonder if this would help or hinder my little psyche. Just curious to know from those who have BTDT.

 

Thanks!

 

Well, in the sense that I feel I am accomplishing something it does, but in the grand scheme of things, not really. :grouphug: Heather :grouphug:

 

Can you find someone to talk to? A counselor? Someone from church maybe? Do you want to call me? Lord knows I'll be up all night.

 

I'm sorry, I wish I could make it better for you.

[Kathleen in VA]

I actually got a similar suggestion from my dh this week. He suggested I just start slowly. He said I should focus on getting up at the same time each day and going to bed at the same time each day. Once I get that routine down, I should add in some activity such as doing my elliptical. Once you get some structure in your life, more structure tends to follow.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

I feel better when I know what I need to know and can see my progress in completing my tasks. I waste less time, have less stress due to forgotten stuff, and just generally am a happier person.

 

à think true deep depression needs more than structure but structure helps keep me from sliding there.

[Reya]

Here's a question:

 

Do you find that if your day is structured it helps?

 

 

 

I tend not to follow a schedule, but I wonder if this would help or hinder my little psyche. Just curious to know from those who have BTDT.

 

Thanks!

 

 

I get SAD, so for me, it's about making myself stick to a schedule that gets enough DAYLIGHT! This includes planning to homeschool in a given room based on the angle of the sun. :-)

 

I also get "down" when I hurt, so taking care of my underlying pain condition is VERY IMPORTANT to my mental health. This includes a schedule with enough exercise. I'm dreading labor not because of the labor but because I'm afraid I won't be able to exercise enough the next couple of days and I'll be in agony again. (Yes, the condition hurt worse than unmedicated labor last time...)

[MicheleB]

Heather, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I was dx with bipolar disorder 8 years ago, after the birth of my last child. I have been depressed sooo many times since then and I can just feel how you are feeling right now.

 

As for structure, the one thing that made a big difference was several years ago, when I was going through a bout of depression, my therapist told me to make sure I just get out of the house once a day. Even to walk to the mailbox. Or go to a nearby store and get a coke, a pack of gum, a newspaper, whatever...

 

Just get out of the four walls of my own house.

 

At first I thought, Like that's going to make a difference. :glare: But it really did. Nothing spectacularly amazing, but just a few minutes where I wasn't focused on what was just inside my house. And somehow it gave me time to "get away". I don't know... it's hard to explain. And maybe you're already getting out of the house everyday.

 

A lot of times if I went to get a coke or whatever, I didn't even bother to shower, etc. I didn't really care how I looked because I was so depressed, but I knew if I told myself I *had* to shower and dress nice to go out, I would never go. So I just went.

 

I guess this goes along the lines of the others that said "Start small." Really small. One, tiny little thing you can each day for *you*. Even a time to sit on the porch and sip a cup of tea at the same time each day.

 

((((HUGS)))) to you... Wish I could take it all away.

[lighthouseacademy]

For me getting up a little earlier helps tremendously- and then getting things DONE then I feel accomplished and lifted. If I get up too late or I don't get enough done (some structure) then I feel horrible and lazy. Also, like a previous poster said, don't over commit yourself because then you feel like a failure. Also, getting dressed and making your bed and doing your hair right away in the morning helps you feel good- and no sweatpants and slouchy ratty tshirts. Make yourself presentable and ready to face the world.

[Mom to Aly]

My sister is bi-polar, and she finds that she is totally lost without a schedule. She is a teacher, and by the end of summer vacation, she is actually looking forward to work, just to get back on a schedule, because she knows she will feel better that way.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

I'm not bi-polar but by the end of the summer, I'm starting to flounder a bit because I've had two months of no schedule. Most importantly, I haven't been following my scheduled exercise routine, my regular meals, and all the other healthy things that I build into my schedule. I'm starting to get confused because my house is a little messier etc.

 

It might not be enough that everyone sees but I definately do worse without the day to day routine.

[TeacherZee]

Thank you for asking the question Heather. I probably fall in the over scheduling category. Maybe I need to start smaller.

 

As you can see I am where you are so I have no advice but I can give you a :grouphug:

[Mommamia]

I find autoimmune issues can trigger depression, but also hormonal imbalances can. An imbalance of progesterone to estrogen can cause depression, fatique and a ton of other issues(for me infertility). I'm in no way an expert,just someone who has struggled with these issues and went undiagnosed for yrs. Seriously, 3 out of 4 weeks a month I felt in a funk. I had to really "encourage" my DR to look into these issues. They found autoimmune and hormone issues. I take progesterone cream topically now and I know that has helped. My dh wants me to have the ph level in my blood checked as well.....acidic blood can cause a ton of issues that can go mis-diagnosed.

 

Trying to structure my day was actually causing me to be more depressed. My kids were sad, I was sad, Dh was totally frustrated. Now that I'm trying to have a routine, but not a schedule- I'm feeling better. Less pressure. But, I have to say, you can have 2 identical days.....but if you are feeling depressed on one of those.....they can seem totally different. Did that make sense?? Just wanted to let you know....I'm with ya:grouphug:

[Tarheel Heather]

Thanks everyone!

[threetreasurs]

Structure helps me deal with stress but if I cling to structure too tightly it causes more stress; it's a double edged sword.

[Happy]

I think the idea of routine will support good mental health.

 

Maybe a story will help. When we first lived on the farm, we had three miles of dirt road between our little house and the mailbox and the highway to town. After rain, that three miles became a sticky, slippery mud pit. My dh and his family grew up with it. They learned to drive in and on mud at early ages. I didn't. My childhood included pavement. One of the hints dh taught me was to stay in the ruts where other more experienced drivers have gone, drive slowly, and don't hit the brakes. Staying in the ruts got me out of that mud more often than I can tell you. Finally, the road was upgraded to something more mud proof much to my joy.

 

What I'm saying here is routine can be like those ruts through the mud. Following a routine can get you through the sticky, slippery parts of depression.

 

Each day should include showering and dressing comfortably, but not sloppily. Fix your hair and dab on some makeup if you like. As someone else said, take a walk, go to the store, get out of your house for a few minutes. I do this often myself. It really helps me. Routine can include the exercise that you know floods your brain with oxygen and lots of feel good chemicals. Exercise also helps you sleep better. A daily dose of sunshine. Knowing you are going to eat certain healthy foods, even if the rest of your diet is junk.

 

Hopefully, routine will put a rhythm in your life. When my guys were in public school, I had a breakfast routine...mondays were easy french toast, fridays were easy homemade donuts. I liked not having to think hard.) Make life easier on yourself.

 

I read an article recently on the connection between doing something fun, useful, or creative with your hands and how that activates a pleasure center in the brain. The author's premise is that in our push button, teach to the test, microwavable culture, we don't *do* enough to trigger the pleasure center and that may be why depression is on the rise. The author suggests taking up something active with the hands. Music, knitting, painting, chopping wood....something. Maybe, over time, something like this could give you satisfaction and pleasure or ease from your depression. I find this helps me a lot. Read a bit more about it on my blog, if you'd like.

 

Blessings as you struggle. Know you are not alone.

[muffinmom]

I second the idea of routine. Without at least some basic structure for my day, I feel lost and unproductive.

 

Start with your morning--shower and get dressed first thing, every day. Then after that, eat breakfast/take vitamins, etc., then start one load of laundry. Other than homeschooling and meals, let those be your only obligations for while...until those become automatic to you. Then add on a new task...one at a time. (Sounds a bit Flyladyish, doesn't it?)

 

I learned the hard way that it really does work better if you take small steps rather than trying to do the "perfect" schedule all at once.

[Desert Rat]

This is me but I do find that without structure my depression flares up more. I find that if I don't focus on specific activities I'll just sit at the computer and ignore my kids. It's not the kind of mother I want to be but I have to fight so hard to keep my head in the game. It's definitely a battle worth fighting so I make myself get up at the same time and exercise. I try to keep school hours the same every day and I have 2 hours of down time for us before our afternoon activities begin.

Hang in there. I know how hard it is. Start small. Even one tiny step is a still a step forward.

[KIN]

This thread was very helpful to me, thanks for starting it Heather! I've been on anti-depressant meds for 6 weeks. They haven't been helping, so I've started on something different this weekend. It is frustrating not to be getting better, but thinking about routine is helpful to me. I do have a bit of a routine, but I need to work laundry, meal prep and dishes into it on a daily basis. I've been having major trouble just getting the basics done around here.

[Amy in Orlando]

(((Heather))) Depression sucks. And depression is different for everyone. As to structure, so much depends on your basic personality, imo. As my mom likes to say about me - I do not excel at moderation. And she's right. If someone tells me I need a schedule, I will make a color-coded chart involving every minute of the day and if something doesn't go right, ka-blooey(I've always wanted to type that word!) my mindset goes completely out the window. It backfires and makes me feel worse - my schedule failed because one of the kids got strep throat. @@

 

My dh is the best guy you could ever meet. But, he's never been depressed and he truly doesn't understand it. He thrives on routine and structure (to the point my head wants to explode sometimes, just wanting a bit of deviation from the norm - live for the day, man, eat eggs on Tuesday instead of oatmeal!). But, he's a great guy and, most importantly, he's a guy. He wants to "fix" things. I know he means well when he suggests a "routine" but, for me, that doesn't fix it (back to the extreme again).

 

I've learned over the years what works for me. Might work for you, might not. Leaving my house once a day is a big one. Even if I just go across the street and talk to my neighbor. It's easy for me to slip into staying home - even though I like to go places - does that make sense?

 

When I AM depressed (which has not been in a couple of years) I find a to-do list of things like: 1. Get out of Bed 2. Take Shower 3. Feed kids etc, helps. Just the very basic routine things and nothing more. But, honestly, when I get that bad it's time to talk to someone and get to a doctor for some meds. This type of routine helped me a lot when I while I was waiting for the meds to kick in.

 

They're not a permanent fix, but they really do help get you out of that deep, deep hole. I don't think a structured routine can do this when you're truly, clinically depressed.

 

You'll be in my prayers. (((()))) Feel free to pm or email me (amy@thefoilhat.com). It WILL get better.

[Reya]

I find autoimmune issues can trigger depression, but also hormonal imbalances can. An imbalance of progesterone to estrogen can cause depression, fatique and a ton of other issues(for me infertility).

 

Yes, my progesterone cream is my best friend. I started it while trying to get pregnant--I'd been trying for FOUR YEARS by that point and couldn't get past the first trimester--by using it for luteal phase support, and MAN, life was so much better. No insomnia or hypersomnia. No extreme PMS. Nothin'. The sleep disturbances really threw my whole life off because my schedule would be shot to pieces 2 weeks out of every 35 days, and it'd take another week to get back on.

 

That plus sunlight plus exercise (to keep the pain under control) means a much more "up" life and much more gets done.

 

EDIT: I'd recommend that anyone struggling with depression try light therapy as a start. This sounds stupid and maybe a little too crystals-and-auras to some, but it helps you regulate melatonin and gets your body really back on track in terms of regulating arousal/"down" times. I adore my electricity, but I know it can confuse my body's circadian rhythm, which can throw everything else off, so it's a good idea to follow good "light hygiene" if you're depressed and see if that can get you back on balance. Exercise, too, is crucial for many reasons!

[Lolly]

I like to follow a schedule. I just have to make sure it is reasonable. Hugs to you.