Way OT and Way TMI and umm, well, embarrassing maybe

[Nicole M]

I've been around here since January or February. It seems that this gets discussed in some fashion at least once every six weeks or so.

 

I've noticed a pattern, too. I was wondering if it had to do with the phase of the moon?

[lwilliams1922]

I'm all late here but I wanted to chime in....

 

 

I really enjoy drinking tea with DH, especially when we finish at the same time. :)

We usually enjoy our tea together most of the time.

 

But every now and again one person will finish their tea before the other.

 

I'm always left wondering....

 

If I drink mine first I'm always there till DH is done.

If he drinks his first the tea party is over. :(

 

 

Is it just biological??

[clwcain]

I've noticed a pattern, too. I was wondering if it had to do with the phase of the moon?

 

*looks at the obvious direction*

*takes the road less traveled*

 

Given that a lunar cycle is 28 days, and these questions seem to crop up once every six weeks...hmm...I'm going to go out on a limb and say "no".

 

But I'm more than willing to be corrected. ;)

[clwcain]

I'm always left wondering....

 

If I drink mine first I'm always there till DH is done.

If he drinks his first the tea party is over. :(

Is it just biological??

 

Yes. I don't know that anyone has ever found a satisfactory resolution to this conundrum aside from ladies first.

 

But, depending on age and energy in your paramour, you should be able to get him back up and running again within 10 or 15 minutes. HTH

[KidsHappen]

I'll have what he's having.

 

Chelle

 

:rofl:

[Doran]

I absolutely want to take this post seriously, because in my mind, and in my marriage, it has been a very serious topic for a long time.

 

So, I will get the nonsense out of the way first.

 

Nicole, if you are going to forever be associated with tea - which was, I thought the most poetic euphimism for what went down (shush! - no snickering!) in that other thread, (and again, thanks to Amy Loves Bud for the indirect inspiration) - then I am really rather afraid to ask what it is that may cling to me forever. I've already seen eggplant mentioned, which is just a tad frightening. When I remarked that the earth was moving underneath me (literally relating to a possible pending move for us) earlier today, I recognized a definite twitter, as if I was maybe posting from one of those quarter-fed beds we used to find in seedy hotels. So, what I'm saying here is that I'm all good with tea, but the power tool association in the long term might be tricky. I mean, you remember how Linksalot used to occasionally post photos next to our screen names? I just can't go there! :D

 

Now...

 

Melissa, you knew that your post resonated with me because of my brief PM last night. And, I understand your situation a little better now than I did before, so I know that this situation might not be as simple as you would wish. You've stated that there are some physical reasons for your "dislike". I can relate to the hormonal stuff very well, and thinking back to the time after our first was born, when I ended up with waaay too many stitches from tearing, I can also relate to other kinds of physical issues (ie: PAIN) that can interfere with regular tea drinking.

 

I think the most critical components are that you remain patient with yourself (you've said your dh is not pressuring you to change, so hooray for that!), and that you try experimenting with various brewing techniques. This may take some work on your part, getting yourself mentally ready for tea, and realizing that you may decide you don't like that flavor. That's really okay. You can agree that if you don't care for something, you'll try another kind of tea on another day. Maybe you could try shopping for teas and accessories together -- tea cozy's, tea spoons, whatever seems interesting. Certainly it would be good to talk about what kind of tea you might enjoy before you're in the middle of trying a new cup. Adding some honey seems a worthwhile idea, too - anything to sweeten the pot, so to speak. Sometimes, you can pour him a cup and maybe even help him drink it. I find that even when I thought I wasn't thirsty, I freqently change my mind after seeing how much he's enjoyed his tea. And, then, once in awhile, you might just set the tea nearby, as an option, but just warm up the water together without ever brewing.

 

Overall, I sense in you a sadness that things are the way they are, and I don't blame you. Just try to relax and go easy on yourself. It is how it is. It may not be that way forever. Take it slowly (though I know you're tired of waiting), and be creative. That might just help make the process more enjoyable again, in ways you aren't currently able to imagine.

 

Hugs!

[nmoira]

I absolutely want to take this post seriously, because in my mind, and in my marriage, it has been a very serious topic for a long time.

 

So, I will get the nonsense out of the way first.

 

Nicole, if you are going to forever be associated with tea - which was, I thought the most poetic euphimism for what went down (shush! - no snickering!) in that other thread, (and again, thanks to Amy Loves Bud for the indirect inspiration) - then I am really rather afraid to ask what it is that may cling to me forever. I've already seen eggplant mentioned, which is just a tad frightening. When I remarked that the earth was moving underneath me (literally relating to a possible pending move for us) earlier today, I recognized a definite twitter, as if I was maybe posting from one of those quarter-fed beds we used to find in seedy hotels. So, what I'm saying here is that I'm all good with tea, but the power tool association in the long term might be tricky. I mean, you remember how Linksalot used to occasionally post photos next to our screen names? I just can't go there! :D

 

I so wanted just to say "diTTo," but I understand your concerns. It's all very fresh in everyone's mind, but while I think the association will remain, I'd be surprised if, after a few weeks, there are so many twitters and ;)'s.

[JennifersLost]

In case this didn't get answered before - Chaste Berry definitely helps during perimenopause. I don't know if it helps after the big change.

 

And you didn't hear this from me, but those tighter-fitting, more structured tea cozy's? The ones that give the pot a rather hourglass shape? They can have a singular effect on the teapot - a sort of (I can NOT figure out how to say this metaphorically!) "okay, I'm ready to whistle RIGHT NOW" kind of effect. I don't know if it's the tea cozy's associations, the skinny "wow, is that me?" effect, or the physical squishing of the tea pot's organs that does it, but it....does it.

 

And I can't imagine the man it doesn't "do it" for, either....but who knows? One could exist.....

[clwcain]

the physical squishing of the tea pot's organs that does it, but it....does it.

 

Just a note on the "structured tea cozy". If it's fitted properly, there should be no constriction of breath or squishing of internal organs. And the affected external organs should be supported properly (perhaps for the first. time. EVAR!).

 

You can certainly get them to do those sorts of things (rearrange your innards, etc.) but I don't know anyone who would recommend that.

 

Part of the bad rap the structured tea cozy got historically (a pet peeve of mine) was due to starting girls in them before puberty, and then even as they matured, keeping them laced down. Whether you want to blame social convention, the oppressive patriarchy, the silliness of vanity, etc. it is use of, and nothing inherent in the garment that caused such problems. And, fwiw, men wore them during the same period in the same way to achieve the same effect.

 

The better sites selling the good stuff, like AC, will have instructions on how to "train your waist" if that's what you want to do. But it is by no means a required aspect of the wearing of the garment. It should fit properly, allow even labored breathing (you can run in one if you want), and allow you to move freely while keeping excellent posture. You won't be able to bend easily at the waist, but as all the experts keep telling us, we shouldn't be doing that anyway.

 

All that is, of sorts, a preamble to this piece of advice:

 

 

Ordering one of these is not the time for vanity sizing or being coy about your dimensions and features. They aren't inexpensive, if you're going for the real thing. Order accordingly.

And, should the male in your life really want a wasp waist, for whatever reason, AC can service him, too. :)

 

No, I'm not in any way affiliated with Absolute Corsets. We're just huge fans of their primary product. :D

[Lovedtodeath]

The better sites selling the good stuff, like AC, will have instructions on how to "train your waist" if that's what you want to do. But it is by no means a required aspect of the wearing of the garment. It should fit properly, allow even labored breathing (you can run in one if you want), and allow you to move freely while keeping excellent posture. You won't be able to bend easily at the waist, but as all the experts keep telling us, we shouldn't be doing that anyway.

 

 

Aha, maybe the good ones fit better?

 

Alas, I tend to bend at the waist while brewing tea... Or bend in some other way that typically "squishes organs". :lol:

[Nicole M]

Alas, I tend to bend at the waist while brewing tea... Or bend in some other way that typically "squishes organs". :lol:

 

But doesn't everyone? And isn't the whole idea of these things that someone will get to remove it, at some point during the brew?

 

I'm not winking here, just asking.

[Peri]

:001_huh: Are we talking about actual tea or something else that tea is supposed to represent. I get the idea that the tea is supposed to represent something but I dunno what. If it is something s**ual, is it just the act of s*x or something more specific? Will someone PM me please lol.

[Doran]

But doesn't everyone? And isn't the whole idea of these things that someone will get to remove it, at some point during the brew?

 

I'm not winking here, just asking.

 

 

...they still have them on in all the pictures!!

 

 

Disclaimer: I am not referring to the AC site specifically (haven't actually ventured there), rather thinking more along the lines of the stereotypical images that must be running through more than at least one mind here. :D

[clwcain]

Perhaps I've not been clear...you can still bend at the hips. But the soft tissue between the bottom of the rib cage and the top of the pelvic girdle has less flexibility.

 

If you're short-waisted, you may find your mobility constricted enough to require the removal of the exoskeleton. ;)

 

Certain flavoring options may also require removal (to completely butcher the metaphor).

 

If one really desires to retain flexibility of the midsection, you can explore different boning options. Whalebone (mostly vinyl or nylon these days, but vintage corsets were constructed with either metal or cartilage from whales) comes in a wide array of thickness and rigidity. Many sewing stores carry it, so you can get a feel for what your options are before you commit.

 

All I'll say is that where there's a will there's a way... :w00t:

 

As much fun as taking it off can be, putting it all on can be much more fun. While it can be put on alone, it's a lot more fun when the lacing is a two-person job. Helps to generate anticipation for both parties.

 

It's even been known to bring things to a simmer.

 

And, teA brewing aside, it has the advantage of being very practical daily wear if you're not nursing. We haven't yet found a good source for a nursing corset pattern, and I'm hesitant to shell out for a vintage one, deconstruct it, and become a corsetier. :)

 

HTH

[Lovedtodeath]

:001_huh: Are we talking about actual tea or something else that tea is supposed to represent. I get the idea that the tea is supposed to represent something but I dunno what. If it is something s**ual, is it just the act of s*x or something more specific? Will someone PM me please lol.

 

Conventions for speaking metaphorically about tea. (Please read OP first.)

 

HTH

[Lovedtodeath]

If one really desires to retain flexibility of the midsection, you can explore different boning options. Whalebone (mostly vinyl or nylon these days, but vintage corsets were constructed with either metal or cartilage from whales) comes in a wide array of thickness and rigidity. Many sewing stores carry it, so you can get a feel for what your options are before you commit.

 

All I'll say is that where there's a will there's a way... :w00t:

 

As much fun as taking it off can be, putting it all on can be much more fun. While it can be put on alone, it's a lot more fun when the lacing is a two-person job. Helps to generate anticipation for both parties.

 

It's even been known to bring things to a simmer.

 

And, teA brewing aside, it has the advantage of being very practical daily wear if you're not nursing. We haven't yet found a good source for a nursing corset pattern, and I'm hesitant to shell out for a vintage one, deconstruct it, and become a corsetier. :)

 

HTH

 

I used to work in a medical supply place selling corsets as back support. They work, but at the same time, weaken the back muscles if worn all the time, so this should be kept in mind.

 

Well, you see the problem is... some positions tend to squish organs even without a corset; the corset just adds to the problem.:lol: Especially with these nursing and postnatal hypothyroid pounds that I am constantly trying to get rid of. :blush5: (Sorry if that is TMI, I thought in the spirit of full disclosure, in case other teapots experience this and feel alone.) But, we just dispose of the corset in the middle of brewing and really don't care much at that point. :D

 

Oh, and http://www.yamunabodyrolling.com/ really helps with the flexibility of a teapot, in addition to back pain, if anyone is interested. I got mine when I had fibromyalgia, and DH was quite happy with the unexpected, pleasant side effect. It also makes many brewing positions more comfortable for the teapot.:leaving:

[Lovedtodeath]

I'm all late here but I wanted to chime in....

 

 

I really enjoy drinking tea with DH, especially when we finish at the same time. :)

We usually enjoy our tea together most of the time.

 

But every now and again one person will finish their tea before the other.

 

I'm always left wondering....

 

If I drink mine first I'm always there till DH is done.

If he drinks his first the tea party is over. :(

 

 

Is it just biological??

 

Hmmm.... Usually if this happens DH will finish brewing my tea even though the water is no longer in the pot, make sense? Or to be proactive, we will start brewing my tea before inserting the water.

 

This is purely hypothetical, okay! Now, there's that thread on brewing tea. Lots of talk about tea. Sometimes hypothetical people go through things that make liking tea not very possible. What if you just don't care all that much for tea a good portion of the time? Just purely hypothetical, of course. I figure there have got to be some non-tea drinkers out there.

 

Many times the only reason I want tea at all is because I know it will make DH less cranky with me. :D You are not alone.

 

One thing that has helped me... I forgot about it, but it really did work for me on several occassions. If we have plans for a tea party and I really don't want one for any reason... www.tapping.com

 

While following the procedure on the website, I will use different phrases depending on the situation. Even though... (phrases below) I completely love and accept myself.

 

I am too stressed out to take the time to have tea.

I am unattractive and don't know why DH wants any tea with me.

If I have some tea I won't have the energy to do anything else.

Everytime I try to have tea the kids interrupt us anyway.

I am afraid that we will try to brew tea without results.

I am afraid that tea will result in more kids.

I just really am not in the mood for tea.

I am afraid that brewing tea will hurt.

 

Also, if I am not wanting tea, feeling unattractive and inhibited... mudslides, margaritas and Mike's help quite a bit.;)

[laylamcb]

Also, if I am not wanting tea, feeling unattractive and inhibited... mudslides, margaritas and Mike's help quite a bit.;)

 

Make mine a mojito! :D

 

A little update for y'all: I ordered--let's see, what are we calling this now? Oh yes!--a structured tea cozy, with the help of "Mrs. clwcain" (Chris's missus) and the folks at Absolute Corsets. I'm quite a bit poorer (whew), but I'm excited! We'll see....

[Lolly]

Make mine a mojito! :D

 

A little update for y'all: I ordered--let's see, what are we calling this now? Oh yes!--a structured tea cozy, with the help of "Mrs. clwcain" (Chris's missus) and the folks at Absolute Corsets. I'm quite a bit poorer (whew), but I'm excited! We'll see....

 

:lol:Way to go!

[laylamcb]

:lol:Way to go!

 

Thanks, Lolly! That's not all I got...but that's all I'm gonna share on this here forum.... ;)

[Mommy22alyns]

Tea... that's got to be one of the most creative metaphors I've ever seen!

 

I'll never make a cup of (REAL) tea without thinking of you guys again! :001_huh:

[Robin Hood]

tea cozy

 

I've stayed away ~ more intimate of a topic than I publicly care for, but ~ Tea Cozy ???

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

:smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

[KidsHappen]

Make mine a mojito! :D

 

A little update for y'all: I ordered--let's see, what are we calling this now? Oh yes!--a structured tea cozy, with the help of "Mrs. clwcain" (Chris's missus) and the folks at Absolute Corsets. I'm quite a bit poorer (whew), but I'm excited! We'll see....

 

Wow! Good for you. I am so glad to hear it. I almost fainted when I saw the prices so I think that I'll start with up grading the basic undergarments first. Hope you nejoy your new purchase. :)

[Michelle T]

there are always ebbs and flows (I wrote "ups and downs" then decided to edit, LOL!) to desire for tea. Various reasons, some physical (hormones, fatigue, illness) some psychological (anger, lack of closeness, depression) some lifestyle (children in the house, lack of time, different work hours).

 

I'm one of the few who likes tea a lot more than my DH does, so this is a sore subject.

Michelle T

[BusyMum]

I haven't managed to work my way through the whole thread so forgive me if I am repeating what someone else has said.

 

I find myself often too tired to even think of tea but one way that dh and I have found to resurrect our interest and enjoyment is to vary the location of our tea party. You know, sometimes the same place gets a bit boring, maybe even a chore. So maybe you could try spicing up your tea by drinking it somewhere different? Dh and I had a lovely tea party on the kids new trampoline last night. We also enjoy tea parties in the lounge and Dh is particularly fond of enjoying his tea in the kitchen, standing at the bench.

 

:blushing::blushing::blushing:

 

Was that way too TMI? Will you still respect me in the morning?

[BusyMum]

One last quick suggestion from me. I find that I'm far more in the mood for tea during the day. Early in the morning, when DH likes to wake me for tea? At that point, the tea is just ticking me off. If it gets too late at night, even the idea of tea is overwhelming. But if there are a few stolen moments for tea during the day, my body responds much more willingly. I know that's far easier said than done with kids in the house, but maybe you could sneak a few minutes here and there. Videos are your friend...

LOL! I am the same! When Mr7 was still at school dh used to come home occasionally for a cup of tea when the younger two were napping. That always worked well for me. But now Mr7 is homeschooled our lunchtime tea dates are a thing of the past.

[Prairie~Phlox]

LOL! I am the same! When Mr7 was still at school dh used to come home occasionally for a cup of tea when the younger two were napping. That always worked well for me. But now Mr7 is homeschooled our lunchtime tea dates are a thing of the past.

 

 

Gee, having awake kids never stopped my dh from making teA. "Hey kids, you want to watch a movie?" I don't know how many times we've done that. I don't always agree, but don't come out complaining most times. :lol:

 

Dh is going to want to make teA tonight, but I'm not in the mood, I was in the mood last night, and nada, he even fell asleep on the couch. :001_huh:

 

Phlox

[ELaurie]

Brazilians? :confused1:

 

I'm just figuring out the tea threads, and now ya'll are talking about Brazilians!

 

Please enlighten me! :hat:

[ELaurie]

Brazilians? :confused1:

 

I'm just figuring out the tea threads, and now ya'll are talking about Brazilians!

 

Please enlighten me! :hat:

[nmoira]

Brazilians? :confused1:

Exteme waxing, *everything* front to back and in between. Sometimes a strip is left in the front.

[KidsHappen]

I haven't managed to work my way through the whole thread so forgive me if I am repeating what someone else has said.

 

I find myself often too tired to even think of tea but one way that dh and I have found to resurrect our interest and enjoyment is to vary the location of our tea party. You know, sometimes the same place gets a bit boring, maybe even a chore. So maybe you could try spicing up your tea by drinking it somewhere different? Dh and I had a lovely tea party on the kids new trampoline last night. We also enjoy tea parties in the lounge and Dh is particularly fond of enjoying his tea in the kitchen, standing at the bench.

 

:blushing::blushing::blushing:

 

Was that way too TMI? Will you still respect me in the morning?

 

:lol: The trampoline? You go girl!

[Lovedtodeath]

Okay, I want in on the booKs secret now!!

[ELaurie]

Oh my- that sounds painful :001_unsure:

 

Thanks for the explanation!

[Cheryl in NM]

deleted by poster

[heartily]

One thing that has helped me... I forgot about it, but it really did work for me on several occassions. If we have plans for a tea party and I really don't want one for any reason... http://www.tapping.com

 

Also, if I am not wanting tea, feeling unattractive and inhibited... mudslides, margaritas and Mike's help quite a bit.;)

 

I went to tapping.com and learned a lot about EFT, thanks for sharing. By the way, I also found this site eft.mercola.com, is this a good source for EFT too?