Outside rules for a 6 year old

[Petrichor]

I'm not sure if what I expect for my 6yo is reasonable.

 

What rules have you had for your 6yo with regard to playing outside?

 

When is it ok to play outside?

 

Does s/he have to ask before playing outside?

 

Is there a difference between playing in the backyard/front yard or subdivision common areas? 

 

Would you allow him/her to walk to common areas alone, assuming there are no busy roads, though you cannot see the area from your house?

 

Can s/he play inside of friends homes? Is s/he expected to ask before doing so? Does your relationship (or lack of one) affect which friend s/he can play with indoors?

 

Do you exchange phone numbers with parents before you allow your child/children to play indoors?

 

 

 

[Gil]

Stay where you can be seen from our house at all times. You need permission to turn corners/leave the street. You can never go in any ones home. Ever.

 

ETA:

They spend a lot of time in my moms neighborhood where they may not go in anyones home, they may go on to an open/visible porch with a playmate if they receive permission each and every time. They can play in my moms yard--front or back--at any hour of the day but may not go past the stop signs in any direction.

[Anne]

I would never allow my children to go into the homes of people I didn't know.

 

As my children got older this became more and more elastic depending on the situation/age of child/etc.

 

At 6?  No.  Just no.

 

Anne

[texasmama]

I'm not sure if what I expect for my 6yo is reasonable.

 

What rules have you had for your 6yo with regard to playing outside?

 

When is it ok to play outside? Any time in the backyard and only when supervised in the front.

 

Does s/he have to ask before playing outside?  Yes, because I would need to know where she is at all times.  Also, I don't want to call for someone who is suddenly out of hearing.

 

Is there a difference between playing in the backyard/front yard or subdivision common areas?  Yes.

 

Would you allow him/her to walk to common areas alone, assuming there are no busy roads, though you cannot see the area from your house? No.

 

Can s/he play inside of friends homes? Is s/he expected to ask before doing so? Does your relationship (or lack of one) affect which friend s/he can play with indoors? Yes, yes, and yes.

 

Do you exchange phone numbers with parents before you allow your child/children to play indoors?  Yes,  and I need to know the parent.

We live in the country so some of this doesn't really apply, but I will give you my answers from the perspective of a more cautious than average parent.

 

I predict that this thread will take many interesting turns.  May the force be with us.

[Loowit]

My kids at 6 had to stay in our yard, unless they got special permission do to otherwise.  They did need to ask to play outside, but typically I wouldn't have said no, I just wanted to know where they were.  We didn't differentiate between our front and backyard, they could play in either.  We don't have any common play areas in our neighborhood, so that wasn't an issue.  I was not a big fan of them walking around our neighborhood, we have sidewalks for part but not all of the area, but even through we are in a cul-de-sac we have people that drive way too fast and aren't looking out for children.  No playing inside other houses at all.  In their yard, if I could see them would be okay.  I also wouldn't allow a neighbor kid in our house.

[zoobie]

My kids stayed in our fenced yard at 6. The older two (10, nearly 12) still mostly stay in the front or back yard because we have no neighbor kids or parks within easy walking distance.

 

They still need to ask before going outside. They can go out when their work is done or they need a break. But no random disappearing. I imagine I'd expect a hey mom, I'm heading out... at most any age from an individual living in my house rather than just *poof* where's Johnny?

 

They do not go in unknown houses. Definitely not at 6. No neighbor kid friends, so I have to facilitate friend visits. When there was a family around the corner, they played outside.

[wendyroo]

I'm not sure if what I expect for my 6yo is reasonable.

 

What rules have you had for your 6yo with regard to playing outside?

 

When is it ok to play outside?  Almost always.

 

Does s/he have to ask before playing outside?  Yes, except during morning free play when all the kids have a standing invitation/encouragement to play in the fenced back yard and can come and go without informing me.  Otherwise they need to ask.

 

Is there a difference between playing in the backyard/front yard or subdivision common areas?  The only subdivision common areas are too far away for the 6 year old to go on his own yet...probably in a couple more years.  Otherwise, the 6 year old can play unsupervised in the front or back yard, but the younger boys need to be supervised in front. 

 

Would you allow him/her to walk to common areas alone, assuming there are no busy roads, though you cannot see the area from your house?  No.

 

Can s/he play inside of friends homes? Is s/he expected to ask before doing so? Does your relationship (or lack of one) affect which friend s/he can play with indoors?  N/A.  My 6 year old has ASD and doesn't seem to notice that there even are other children in the neighborhood, much less have interest in playing with them.  

 

Do you exchange phone numbers with parents before you allow your child/children to play indoors?

 

Wendy

[poppy]

Stay in the yard, stay in sight of the house, do NOT enter another person's house without (my) permission. Stay off the road. 

 

You have to ask, or at least tell me, if you're going outside the first time. If your game involves running in & out of the house a few times, no problem, don't have to ask every time.  The whole point is, once I know you're outside part of the day, I know where to look for you.

[Guest]

Stay where you can be seen from our house at all times. You need permission to turn corners/leave the street. You can never go in any ones home. Ever.

 

ETA:

They spend a lot of time in my moms neighborhood where they may not go in anyones home, they may go on to an open/visible porch with a playmate if they receive permission each and every time. They can play in my moms yard--front or back--at any hour of the day but may not go past the stop signs in any direction.

Pretty much this. They stay in the yard and always ask before leaving our gate. They may never go into someone else's house, for any reason, without coming and asking me first. Little ones must stay inside the gate and big kids need to keep an eye out for that so everyone stays safe. When riding bikes out fron they just stay on our street - no turning corners or leaving the main road.

[SKL]

Developmentally, my kids and many other kids are "ready" at 6yo to play outside without direct adult supervision, but within earshot of an adult, or with a clear destination known to an adult.  Kids at 6yo need to let me know if they are going out, and generally where they plan to play.

 

I do not allow my kids to go inside anyone else's house, car, or backyard without first obtaining explicit permission from me.  It doesn't matter if it's someone I know or not.  I am not sure when I'll lighten up on that rule.  Maybe after they attain black belt.  Maybe not even then.

 

ETA we've never had a fence, and my kids have been trusted near the street since they were preschoolers.

[Amira]

My youngest who has been 6 and 7 while we've been living here is allowed to go anywhere outside in our neighborhood but he needs to ask before going in anyone's house. He rarely asks to do that and only for closer friends. I want him to tell me that he's going outside but he doesn't have to ask for permission to go. We had the same rules for my older two at that age when we lived in another self-contained sort of neighborhood with lots of kids and playground. 

 

When we've had a fenced yard, no one has to ask to go outside, no matter what their age is.  We have lived in places where they can't go outside without me at 6 years old.

[SeaConquest]

We live in an apartment complex with no backyard. We have a large grassy "quad" area with a pool and some picnic tables. My son (age 6) is allowed to play in the quad with friends. He cannot leave the complex. I cannot see the kids in the quad, but I trust him not to leave. He can go in friends' homes with permission. I generally do not allow him to be in homes when there are no women around -- meaning, Dad/boyfriend only at home. I don't allow him in the homes of smokers, even if they smoke outside, due to third-hand smoke. 

[Mergath]

The rules for dd starting when she was six were that she has to stay in the neighborhood, and she has to tell me where she'll be.

[Sherry in OH]

I'm not sure if what I expect for my 6yo is reasonable.

 

What rules have you had for your 6yo with regard to playing outside?

 

When is it ok to play outside?  Non-school days - daytime, school days - during breaks and after lessons

 

Does s/he have to ask before playing outside?  He must let me know he is going outside. 

 

Is there a difference between playing in the backyard/front yard or subdivision common areas?  Yes.  He must stay in our yard/driveway or on sidewalks within three houses in either direction unless dh or I give permission to play in someone else's yard/driveway or are outside within sight. He may not cross any streets alone. He may not cross major streets without an adult.  

 

Would you allow him/her to walk to common areas alone, assuming there are no busy roads, though you cannot see the area from your house?  Not alone.  With a buddy, possibly.  

 

Can s/he play inside of friends homes? Is s/he expected to ask before doing so? Does your relationship (or lack of one) affect which friend s/he can play with indoors?   Must have permission and we must know the parents.

 

Do you exchange phone numbers with parents before you allow your child/children to play indoors?  Yes and meet them.

 

[kirstenhill]

Answers in red

 

I'm not sure if what I expect for my 6yo is reasonable.

 

What rules have you had for your 6yo with regard to playing outside?  Stay within boundaries on the sidewalk (basically our garage and a large tree down the block), don't bother or get in long conversations with people you don't know

 

When is it ok to play outside? After 8am until it gets dark, unless you are supposed to be doing something else like chores or school or a meal

 

Does s/he have to ask before playing outside? Not really, because I always hear doors slamming and bikes/scooters banging down the stairs. ;-) If I couldn't hear them going outside 99% of the time, they might need to ask

 

Is there a difference between playing in the backyard/front yard or subdivision common areas? n/a -- we don't really have anything like that, unless you count the sidewalk going down the block.

 

Would you allow him/her to walk to common areas alone, assuming there are no busy roads, though you cannot see the area from your house? I might allow the six year old to do it with older siblings, but I would not allow my particular six year old to do something like that alone.  He is too impulsive.

 

Can s/he play inside of friends homes? Is s/he expected to ask before doing so? Does your relationship (or lack of one) affect which friend s/he can play with indoors? Needs to ask first. We have really close friends in the neighborhood, but kids need to ask before going in their houses or out of sight in the backyards so that I know where they are.  But there are 4 other houses they are pretty much always allowed to play at/in within a block or two of our house.  For the furthest away one (close to 2 blocks), 6 year old would have to go with older sibling. 

 

Do you exchange phone numbers with parents before you allow your child/children to play indoors? I would I guess if I didn't already have them.  We knew three out of the four families our kids play with before we moved into this house, and the 4th we got to know really well soon after we moved in...but I guess we would have to get to know anyone new first and definitely exchange numbers if they wanted to play inside.

 

[Alice]

My almost 6 year old can play outside whenever she wants, as long as we're not doing school or I've just told her to come inside. :) 

 

She doesn't have to ask before doing outside. I can see our front and backyard very easily from all our common areas so even when she doesn't ask it's not hard to figure out where she is. 

 

We don't really have a "common area" but she isn't allowed to leave our yard on her own, or with her brothers without permission. 

I don't let her walk around the neighborhood alone, and I don't think I would let her go to a common area alone. With an older sibling, possibly. She and her brothers sometimes take the dog for a walk together. 

 

The playing inside friend's houses doesn't really apply for us as we don't have that kind of neighborhood. But I think if we did she would have to ask me before going inside someone's house and it would only be ok if it would be a friend who I had already said it was ok. Even 100 years ago when I was a kid, that was kind of the standard. There was a group of kids who biked together through the neighborhood and generally hung out all day but I only went their houses if my Mom knew them well and had said it was ok. And if I did, I would call her to tell her where I was and make sure it was ok. My best friend lived next door and I would run inside and ask my Mom if I could go over to the house before doing that. 

 

[abba12]

I haven't read the other responses.

 

I'm not sure if what I expect for my 6yo is reasonable.

 

What rules have you had for your 6yo with regard to playing outside?

 

When is it ok to play outside?

 

In the yard - anytime. In more public areas, only when there are other children about

 

Does s/he have to ask before playing outside?

 

Yard, no. Public areas, yes.

 

Is there a difference between playing in the backyard/front yard or subdivision common areas? 

 

Yes, one is enclosed and without other people, the other has children and strangers around.

 

Would you allow him/her to walk to common areas alone, assuming there are no busy roads, though you cannot see the area from your house?

 

Only if I have been living there long enough to be familiar with some of the other families/children and feel that it's safe, AND with the rule that, if no other children are there, they come home. Or with a sibling. I don't allow children to ever be 'alone' in public without at least another child, think buddy system.

 

Can s/he play inside of friends homes? Is s/he expected to ask before doing so? Does your relationship (or lack of one) affect which friend s/he can play with indoors?

 

Close friends who I am very familiar with personally, fine, but she has to tell me where she is going. Otherwise NO. A 6 year old isn't old enough to be inside a strangers/acquaintances house alone. Parents aside, you don't know the child they're going in the house with. Kids do awful things to other kids sometimes.

 

Do you exchange phone numbers with parents before you allow your child/children to play indoors?

 

Irrelevant, as child would only ever be in the house of someone I already knew personally or one of their long-time friends I knew.

 

[rebcoola]

DD6 must tell me when going to play outside so I know where she is outside means our yard, 1 friends yard across the street when they are home and the street in upto the curve in the road.   Must ask to walk the block to grandma & grandpa's yard.  Must ask and have a buddy to go to the park/quad area.  IS Never allowed to enter anyone's home.