seriously!? what is UP with these kids?

[Nicole M]

When you were brand new on a job, would you ever, ever, ever have asked a coworker or your supervisor to call you to wake you up for a meeting???

 

Here's the deal. I work with college students, and half my staff is new this semester. The call for our first meeting went out, from another student, my assistant. The only time that all the students were available is 8:45am -- not early by an adult's standards, but far earlier, apparently, than most college students care to rustle themselves out of bed. Here is what one of the newbies wrote back (I was copied):

 

Sure. I can't promise I'll be totally awake, but I'll be there. On the offchance that I oversleep, you can call me and wake me up. My number is...

 

See, this should not surprise me. I've had other students, historically, ask for wake-up calls. They did not last long, so this does not bode well. But I am flabbergasted. I hope to high heaven my own children don't pull this kind of crap when they get older. And to make it worse, this young woman was homeschooled! A part of me wants to say, hey, you're making us look bad, little missie.

 

Maybe I should just be happy that she said she'd be there?!

 

What would a real, professional grown up say? I have not dealt with this well in the past, but this year I cannot afford to have any slackers on board and it's probably time for me to grow up and learn how to deal with this.

 

I can start to go down that road, the professional road, and then I crash. So this is about as far as I get:

 

"This job requires a high degree of personal responsibility, including attendance at morning meetings. And while good teamwork is essential, your cohorts are not responsible for waking you, and neither are you responsible for waking them. You will be required to get your own heinie out of bed. Do you think this will be a problem for you?"

 

It seems like there aught to be a clever way to communicate this without alienating this young woman. But maybe no matter what I'll come across as a total b!tch. Don't know.

 

Lay it on me. What's your wisdom?

[Carrie12345]

When you were brand new on a job, would you ever, ever, ever have asked a coworker or your supervisor to call you to wake you up for a meeting???

 

Here's the deal. I work with college students, and half my staff is new this semester. The call for our first meeting went out, from another student, my assistant. The only time that all the students were available is 8:45am -- not early by an adult's standards, but far earlier, apparently, than most college students care to rustle themselves out of bed. Here is what one of the newbies wrote back (I was copied):

 

Sure. I can't promise I'll be totally awake, but I'll be there. On the offchance that I oversleep, you can call me and wake me up. My number is...

 

See, this should not surprise me. I've had other students, historically, ask for wake-up calls. They did not last long, so this does not bode well. But I am flabbergasted. I hope to high heaven my own children don't pull this kind of crap when they get older. And to make it worse, this young woman was homeschooled! A part of me wants to say, hey, you're making us look bad, little missie.

 

Maybe I should just be happy that she said she'd be there?!

 

What would a real, professional grown up say? I have not dealt with this well in the past, but this year I cannot afford to have any slackers on board and it's probably time for me to grow up and learn how to deal with this.

 

I can start to go down that road, the professional road, and then I crash. So this is about as far as I get:

 

"This job requires a high degree of personal responsibility, including attendance at morning meetings. And while good teamwork is essential, your cohorts are not responsible for waking you, and neither are you responsible for waking them. You will be required to get your own heinie out of bed. Do you think this will be a problem for you?"

 

It seems like there aught to be a clever way to communicate this without alienating this young woman. But maybe no matter what I'll come across as a total b!tch. Don't know.

 

Lay it on me. What's your wisdom?

 

IMO, she does need a wake up call. Just not the kind she's looking for!

I wouldn't worry about coming across as a b!tch. That's not nearly as bad as coming across as an immature brat.

[Jen500]

I'm almost rolling on the floor laughing.:lol:

You are not their mother. Was the email specifically addressed to you, or was it among the employees and you just got cc'd? If it wasn't aimed at you, I'd ignore it, and just reiterate that morning meetings are mandatory for all employees unless the absence is cleared ahead of time. You know, like the real work world. Then deal w/any no-shows like you would w/any adult.

[Nestof3]

IMO, she does need a wake up call. Just not the kind she's looking for!

 

 

Ha ha ha!

 

That's pathetic! I had more responsibility when I was 16. I never needed a wake up call to get to work on time. I also had many 8:00 college classes.

 

You wouldn't believe the kind of people we get responding to ads when my husband needs to hire. One guy called the first day to say his car wouldn't start. The second day, he was sick. ugh

[Nicole M]

I'm almost rolling on the floor laughing.:lol:

You are not their mother. Was the email specifically addressed to you, or was it among the employees and you just got cc'd? If it wasn't aimed at you, I'd ignore it, and just reiterate that morning meetings are mandatory for all employees unless the absence is cleared ahead of time. You know, like the real work world. Then deal w/any no-shows like you would w/any adult.

 

It's outrageous, isn't it?

 

It was not aimed at me, but at the student who sent the email. I was very clear with the rest of the staff that they were not to call her if she was late.

 

The sense of entitlement (or is that the wrong word?) slays me.

[Lizzie in Ma]

That is pathetic as is her response. Personal responsibility. Where has it gone?

[Nicole M]

IMO, she does need a wake up call. Just not the kind she's looking for!

 

So true!

 

I feel better now. I was so flabbergasted, I just did not know what to do. I guess she's replaceable, if she digs her own grave....

[elegantlion]

I'd send the reply. Said with a smile, of course. Either that or I'd run down to Walmart and buy a 3.00 alarm clock. I would use it as a visual aid on the first day. Have a two minute demonstration on how to set it and then leave it in sight.

 

Tell them that how us "old folks" used to do it before the day of cell phone alarms. (I hate cell phone alarms, btw, my dh's goes off at the oddest times. Times he did not set :confused:)

 

I have a low tolerance for lateness and slacker mentality on a job.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

I think that if you made it clear to the other staff that they weren't to wake her up, she'll be getting the message pretty quickly. You probably won't have to say another word.

[JFSinIL]

Do not call her of let anyone else call her. if she misses or is late for a meeting - or yawns her way through it - let her reap the consequences of her behavior.

[Maria from IN]

 

I can start to go down that road, the professional road, and then I crash. So this is about as far as I get:

 

"This job requires a high degree of personal responsibility, including attendance at morning meetings. And while good teamwork is essential, your cohorts are not responsible for waking you, and neither are you responsible for waking them. You will be required to get your own heinie out of bed. Do you think this will be a problem for you?"

 

 

 

Wow...and she's a college student?

 

She needs to know just how replaceable she is, in my opinion. The rest of the world considers her an adult now--it's about time she started acting like one. I would send it with a warning that she needs to grow up, and quickly.

 

...lest she end up like a friend of my boyfriend's who actually asked a potential employer if he and my man could do security work at the same location. This is a company that does security for Federal buildings all over Indiana, and he actually had the nerve to lump T in with him by practically saying, "Hey, T and I are joined at the a$$, and I'm afraid to make a move by myself, so could we just work together so I won't actually have to have an original idea?" What does that say about T? Grrr...

 

And this guy's in his mid-30's!

 

Yep, I'm wondering myself what happened to personal responsibility this week...:glare:

[Nicole M]

I'd send the reply. Said with a smile, of course. Either that or I'd run down to Walmart and buy a 3.00 alarm clock. I would use it as a visual aid on the first day. Have a two minute demonstration on how to set it and then leave it in sight.

 

Tell them that how us "old folks" used to do it before the day of cell phone alarms. (I hate cell phone alarms, btw, my dh's goes off at the oddest times. Times he did not set :confused:)

 

I have a low tolerance for lateness and slacker mentality on a job.

 

Oh! Oh, my! This is so funny. We have to do all kinds of training, lights, sound board, recording equipment, it would be stinkin' hysterical to throw in an alarm clock demonstration along with the others! You are a genius!

[Nicole M]

...lest she end up like a friend of my boyfriend's who actually asked a potential employer if he and my man could do security work at the same location. This is a company that does security for Federal buildings all over Indiana, and he actually had the nerve to lump T in with him by practically saying, "Hey, T and I are joined at the a$$, and I'm afraid to make a move by myself, so could we just work together so I won't actually have to have an original idea?" What does that say about T? Grrr...

 

And this guy's in his mid-30's!

 

Yep, I'm wondering myself what happened to personal responsibility this week...:glare:

 

Now that just stinks! I'm so sorry. One of my dearest friends is head of security at the college where I work, and the stories he tells.... This would not surprise him, but boy! How awful. I hope your husband had a little talk with his buddy, "I'm really glad to we're buds, but, man, you're takin' me down with this kinda talk..." I don't know.

 

The term "personal responsibility" grates on me, maybe because it's overused, but yes, folks don't seem to have manners these days.

[Maria from IN]

Now that just stinks! I'm so sorry. One of my dearest friends is head of security at the college where I work, and the stories he tells.... This would not surprise him, but boy! How awful. I hope your husband had a little talk with his buddy, "I'm really glad to we're buds, but, man, you're takin' me down with this kinda talk..." I don't know.

 

The term "personal responsibility" grates on me, maybe because it's overused, but yes, folks don't seem to have manners these days.

 

I hear you. Fortunately, T has enough military, police, and security supervisory experience that it's not going to hurt him too much--and one of the guys responsible for hiring is one he supervised at HUD housing in Indy.

 

It just grates my nerves that no one has any drive to do things themselves, you know?

[Murphy101]

I would reply:

 

"It is mandatory that employees of this department attend the meetings to retain their employment. Anyone who needs to have someone get them out of bed for work should call or email this request to their mothers. No one that they work with or attend college with has the time or the desire to mother them and will not be available to do so."

 

I would not address it further than that.

 

I would not coddle them or make excuses or accomodations for them.

You are not being a b_. You are being a professional.

 

If they do not make the meeting or attend more than 15 mintues late, they get a warning.

 

If they miss another meeting, or attend mroe than 15 minutes late, they will "pink slipped" at the door.

 

If you are dependent on these people to get your projects done, then you might as well get rid of the waste now so you can focus on the job at hand with those remaining who will actually be of benefit to it.

 

My dh works with too many people like this and would be very grateful if you sent a message early on in thier work experience. Maybe it would save him the ordeal of having to be the cold water shocker of reality later in their lives.:)

[readwithem]

So true!

 

I feel better now. I was so flabbergasted, I just did not know what to do. I guess she's replaceable, if she digs her own grave....

 

Everybody is replaceable. Nobody is so good they can't be replaced.

 

Your letter is very well worded and gets the point across in a professional way.

[RJH]

:blink::blink::blink: Unbelievable! I would be so embarrassed if that was my child.

[Rebecca in GA]

Mercy! Reminds me of the college kid hired as an intern in my husband's department (PR). Perpetually late despite repeated warnings, dipped and spit despite a tobacco-free campus policy (in a PR office!!!), showed up drunk and disheveled/dirty/smelly after a night of partying...

 

After about three months of worsening behavior -- more chances than I'd have been willing to give him! -- he finally was fired. Do you know what he said?

 

"Y'all are ruining my life! I'm gonna have to go into the military now!"

 

:banghead::cursing:

[Sharon H in IL]

I agree with the others. Weed out the deadwood now. That way he/she's not taking up space that could be put to good use by an adult.

[Staci in MO]

But honestly, I would probably have a face-to-face talk with her, if only for the fact that you could do her a favor now that will could make a huge difference in how the next few years of her life go.

 

Granted, you don't *owe* her this at all, but it's been my observation that people this dense are oblivious to what would normally be very clear to others. Your response is pretty direct, but if this girl is this naive, she's likely not to get the hint.

 

I would explain to her that this kind of behavior is never acceptable, whether it be fast-food worker or CEO. I've worked with a lot of college students before, and they often view college jobs as throw-away jobs that don't really matter. I would remind her that when she's ready for a "real" job, her future employer will need references. Someone who requires personal wake-up calls is not going to get a recommendation.

 

Again, you certainly don't have to do this. But with her sense of entitlement, it's possible that she could continue to bumble along, losing jobs, and thinking it's everyone else's fault but her own.

[Kris]

I guess I have a little different take on it. Since the email was sent to someone else, my first question was what the relationship is between the two people involved in the exchange -- does the student (who asked for the wake-up call) consider that person a friend? Or a "boss?"

 

I know email is used for business communication now, but to me it's still "informal."

 

Yes, yes -- if she has a job she needs to be responsible for getting herself to work on time.

[Guest Katia]

I guess I have a little different take on it. Since the email was sent to someone else, my first question was what the relationship is between the two people involved in the exchange -- does the student (who asked for the wake-up call) consider that person a friend? Or a "boss?"

 

I know email is used for business communication now, but to me it's still "informal."

 

Yes, yes -- if she has a job she needs to be responsible for getting herself to work on time.

 

See, this is what I saw as well. If this gal's email was NOT addressed to you/boss, but to a co-worker/friend, why would it be bad for her to ask her friend for a wake-up call?

 

Or, am I missing something here?

[Nicole M]

See, this is what I saw as well. If this gal's email was NOT addressed to you/boss, but to a co-worker/friend, why would it be bad for her to ask her friend for a wake-up call?

 

Or, am I missing something here?

 

I was copied on the email. These girls are not friends, my assistant "oversees" the (potential) over-sleeper. Yes, email is informal, but it is a mistake to ask someone you don't know for a wake up call AND copy your supervisor.

 

Someone else made the point that students see these as throwaway jobs, but my feeling is that if the kids is getting paid real money, then it's a real job.

 

I guess my concern is that I don't want any precedents to be set here, and students have a way of manipulating each other. If it's a real job, but a first job, I want these kids to have practice with success, I want to support and define appropriate work relationships -- because there is that whole mission of the university thing.

 

I will probably have a face to face conversation with her. That's hard, though, too because she has the most mongo lip ring I have ever seen. It would be tolerable if she didn't play with it all the time! Arg!

[Murphy101]

See, this is what I saw as well. If this gal's email was NOT addressed to you/boss, but to a co-worker/friend, why would it be bad for her to ask her friend for a wake-up call?

 

Or, am I missing something here?

 

I was copied on the email. These girls are not friends, my assistant "oversees" the (potential) over-sleeper. Yes, email is informal, but it is a mistake to ask someone you don't know for a wake up call AND copy your supervisor.

 

see now I still think it's bad work practice even if they had been friends

it's dumb to send personal correspondence via public work routes and then expect it to not reflect negatively on you.

my dh sees this all the time where he works.

if she was friends with the other person, she should have had the sense to know it wasn't business related and to not copy/blanket email her boss

tough lesson I suppose, but basic work policies just about every where.

 

Someone else made the point that students see these as throwaway jobs, but my feeling is that if the kids is getting paid real money, then it's a real job.

 

I agree. If they think it's a job they can afford to throw away, then let them go ASAP so you can get someone who actually needs the money and will actually work for it.

 

I guess my concern is that I don't want any precedents to be set here, and students have a way of manipulating each other. If it's a real job, but a first job, I want these kids to have practice with success, I want to support and define appropriate work relationships -- because there is that whole mission of the university thing.

 

I completely agree! And there's also the aspect of providing an example to that other employee that was sent the email. She will or should appreciate being given courage in keeping work boundaries and it'll be good for her morale workign for you to know that you support her in being professional. I can't tell you how depressing it is to my dh to have to play babysitter for someone because his own boss thinks it's okay and won't back him up.

 

I will probably have a face to face conversation with her. That's hard, though, too because she has the most mongo lip ring I have ever seen. It would be tolerable if she didn't play with it all the time! Arg!

 

:lol:total sympathy. Seeing someone tongue it (dh works with someone who has one so big they bite their lip and stick their tongue tip in it and stuff!) while they listen to you or fiddle with it while they talk and such just grosses me out as much as when my 3 yr old used to pick his nose and eat it. :ack2: I can't think when they do that. All that comes to mind when people use their piercings like that is :ack2: and I just want to end the conversation ASAP. The piercings don't bother me at all. But the messing with them constantly can really turn my stomache.

[WTMindy]

I would probably just laugh and say (in a joking tone) "What, am I your mother? They have these great things called alarm clocks these days." She might never have had to rise to the occasion before. So, you are basically the one to train her proper ettiquette. Sure, she should have learned it by now, but she apparently didn't. If she is late to the meeting, I would have a talk with her, letting her know that you expect her to get up on time and be at the meetings.

[PariSarah]

"This job requires a high degree of personal responsibility, including attendance at morning meetings. And while good teamwork is essential, your cohorts are not responsible for waking you, and neither are you responsible for waking them. You will be required to get your own heinie out of bed. Do you think this will be a problem for you?"

 

This is too nice, in fact.

 

You should hit reply to all, quote only the relevant line of the email, and write,

"I beg your pardon?

Yours, Nicole."

 

Forget trying to make a "criticism sandwich," forget trying to put a good spin on it, forget trying to come off as a supportive co-worker.

 

Maybe she was trying to be funny, or maybe she has no clue how insulting she is being. But she does, indeed, need a wake-up call. (Good call, Carrie!) And since it was a public communication, it should happen in public. She just brought down the tone of your entire team. You need to bring it back up--without insulting her outright, perhaps, but definitely by reacting to the inappropriateness of her comment.

 

Your adult expectations will make the adult praise you can later offer her that much more meaningful.

 

I have been in a similar situation before, and regret mightily the "I care about you" approach I took. Trying to avoid looking like a b!tch just made the situation ridiculously worse. Laughably worse.

[Remudamom]

I'd be happy to give her a wake up call. In person with an air horn.

[johnandtinagilbert]

I'd have to add a comment about how she'd better be awake and ready too. The whole idea of, 8:45 is so early I'll be present, but not.....PAA Leez!

 

I just started a part time job and all of the youngsters there are terrible. Lazy, poor work ethic, foul mouthed, and the sense of entitlement...wow! My parents taught me better before I got a job. If my kids acted like this, I'd die!

 

I really believe you should talk to her (firm, not too bit**y, but very firmly). I think her response will let you know if she's worth the effort or if she'll be an asset to the team.

[Nicole M]

Okay, kids. I ran this by the student employment office and they felt that since it was a "public" message, as PariSarah pointed out, it would be wise to send a public, non-humiliating but firm response. This is what I sent:

 

In the past there has sometimes been confusion among new staff members about our initial meetings. These do count as work; you will log this hour and get paid for it. I want everyone to be clear that meetings are mandatory and that everyone on the staff needs to be responsible for her own prompt arrival time.

 

 

I have not heard back. The meeting is tomorrow. Let's hope she turns around.

 

ETA: Thank you all. Sometimes I get all dorky and freak out. Maybe that tea time discussion just got me alll aflutter; I could not see straight about this very simple thing. I appreciate y'all helping me to sort this out.