Is it common to graduate high school at 19?

[Melissa B]

We are thinking of registering our son one year behind from the very beginning. I figure I can always choose to graduate him early and Florida allows you to go to college (free of charge) beginning in 9th grade. So I really don't see any downside - unless it is really uncommon. He is only 3 1/2 - so we are just thinking ahead. If he went through the normal school years after being "held back" from the beginning he would graduate about one month after his 19th birthday. I would like to put some distance between himself and his sister who would only be one grade ahead of him otherwise. (Ability and maturity-wise you would think there were at least three years between them.) If his maturity at age 3 1/2 is any indication - he will certainly need the added year anyway. :D :D

[In The Great White North]

19 isn't that common but second half of 18 is.

 

The cut-off date for me was ten days before my birthday so I was 18 and 7 months when I graduated.

 

Now that many schools use Sep 1 in stead of Jan or Dec, a graduate can be 18 and 10 months, without being held back at all.

 

My dd will be 19 and two months when she graduates, and has a classmate older than she is. Ds will be 18 and 9 months. Other Dd will be 18 and 8 months.

 

I would let him wait. Like you said, he can always graduate early or dual-enroll if it becomes an issue later.

[Reya]

We are thinking of registering our son one year behind from the very beginning. I figure I can always choose to graduate him early and Florida allows you to go to college (free of charge) beginning in 9th grade. So I really don't see any downside - unless it is really uncommon. He is only 3 1/2 - so we are just thinking ahead. If he went through the normal school years after being "held back" from the beginning he would graduate about one month after his 19th birthday. I would like to put some distance between himself and his sister who would only be one grade ahead of him otherwise. (Ability and maturity-wise you would think there were at least three years between them.) If his maturity at age 3 1/2 is any indication - he will certainly need the added year anyway. :D :D

 

There's no long-term benefit to redshirting. I wouldn't hold his life back a year without a tremendously compelling reason.

[rockermom]

We had considered this as far as registration with our BOE. I do not meet the requirements to homeschool for high school in TN without an umbrella school so we had though of waiting to register him as an official Kindergartener when he's 6 (regardless of where he actually is in his studies) just to gain the extra year of choosing my own curriculum. I am now aware of other options and umbrella schools that will allow me to use the curriculum I wish, so I don't know that we will be doing this now.

[8filltheheart]

Young 19 is not that unusual. The typical borderline months are May-Sept. Kids that have birthdays that fall during those months are the ones that often flip one direction or the other.

 

Our oldest has a mid-Aug birthday. We didn't hold him back. Many yrs I wish we had. He is doing fine now at 19, but there were school yrs that his maturity didn't match the work load. (Intellectually he was ahead. Self-disciplined to spend the required hrs......it was a tug-of-war)

 

We made the decision with our next 2 borderline b-days to just go ahead and hold them back. Unlike the previous poster, I see no distinct advantage in pushing them ahead. Being more mature is never a disadvantage. As long as they see no stigma to their academic grade level (as in being in 4th grade or something and having to repeat a grade), they simply see themselves as that grade and no big deal. My current 4th grader is doing all 5th grade work. As she gets older, she will simply keep working wherever she is academically.

 

She can take classes dual enrolled. I see absolutely no benefit in pushing her ahead. She will be 18 when she graduates. She will turn 19 shortly after she starts college. I definitely prefer that scenerio over our oldest who turned 18 two days before he left for university.

[JoyfulMama]

Since he is 3 1/2 now, I wouldn't worry about what year you are going to start homeschooling him, and assigning him to K yet, let alone how old he will be when he graduates!

#1, If you are planning on homeschooling through high school, that does not necessarily equate to 13 years of school. K-12 is the public school system, which does not allow much room for individual needs. Homeschooling allows you the flexibility to determine what your child learns at what age, based on their ability alone.

#2 I don't know what state you live in. But many states don't require you to register a child for K, and some states don't require you to ever assign a grade level. This is wonderfully liberating, as it allows the parent to fully gear learning at level of ability rather than age.

#3 I know I might be a bit more laid back than some about early education. I prefer not to use a set curriculum for pre-K or K, and only start introducing written curriculum for most things in 1st grade, as I believe there are great educational theorists who support learning through play and exploration for those earlier years (age 8 and under). Plus, it is so much more fun than sitting at a table/desk! :D

#4 Why would a person who spends additional time in high school, and gets a better grasp of fundamentals, or exploring additional supplemental subjects, be looked down upon before launching themselves into their future? Our society is determining that ALL at the age of 18 are supposed to know exactly what path their life should take. Yet, many adults are realizing that the path they took at 18 wasn't their passion, and are returning to school in their 30s, 40s, 50s. I'm not arguing that at an 18 year old can't fullfill the role of responsible adult, but IMHO, they shouldn't HAVE to know exactly what their future holds.

:chillpill: and enjoy these early years - there will be plenty of time to stress about curriculum and maturity in the many years to come! They grow up WAY too fast!

[Homeschooling6]

If we still lived in Califonia four out of my six dc would have started school at age 5. In fact Annette my 2nd child has done K, 1st, 1st, & 2nd grade (she will be in 3rd this yr.) because we started homeschooling her in Ca then moved to Texas:001_huh:

[Mountain View Academy]

My ds will be 19 and 1 month when he graduates. I graduated 17 years ago and with a May bday and was one of the youngest in my class. All the boys that had May - Aug bday's were a year older than me.

 

Our school district has a July 1 cut off. I've noticed my son's do so much better once they turn 6.

[Melissa B]

Thanks for the replies!

 

To clarify, I am not worried or feeling pressured. All of my children start kindergarten work when they are ready and simply progress from there and we do not even do a pre-K program at home. But, when I do register him with the county, I also assign a grade level. So I was just thinking out loud. I do want to hold him back; I see many benefits to starting later. But, I wasn't sure if there were any downsides. I just wanted to see if there was a stigma attached to graduating at 19 rather than 18 or if it would seem unusual and imply that he had "failed" somewhere along the way. :)

[Zanyan]

It's fine to register him as a kindergartener whenever you feel comfortable doing so, especially as you are homeschooling.

 

We live in California, and so our cutoff date for kindergarten registration is very late - turning 5 by December 2 of the year they child starts kindergarten. My son has a September birthday, and since he had open heart surgery in the fall when he was supposed to have started kindergarten, we held him out. We were not planning on homeschooling at that time, so we did send him to a private school in January when he was 5. He finished their kinder curriculum, but his teacher recommended that he repeat kindergarten. So at 6 years old, he was called a kindergartener, but since they let the children go at their own pace (as long as their pace was at or above grade level work), he was really doing first grade work that year. He did the same for first grade - really doing second grade work. As it turns out, my son is dysgraphic, so as the private school curriculum became more and more demanding, he was having a harder and harder time keeping up with the writing load, so we started homeschooling him.

 

Once we started homeschooling, we registered for a public school homestudy program in which the kids go to enrichment workshops several hours a week. The program has been great for both of my kids. We have been allowed to select our own curriculum, etc. Since my son had been called a "second grader" in school, we kept him on that grade track in his public school home study program. Well, last year when he turned 13 and was called a "seventh grader" he announced that he was going to be an eighth grader, and go to high school when he was 13 turning 14. I couldn't really blame him, since he was the oldest, and the tallest kid in the seventh grade (not to mention the moustache he was already sprouting! And the voice as deep as my husband's). He had a lot of work to do last year in the language arts department to be ready for high school this year, but we accelerated him as best we could, and he is in fact in a small, public, college prep, charter high school this year.

 

I could not in a million years have imagined my tall, strong, mature 13 turning 14 year old who is ready for high school when we chose his grade level when he was 6 years old! I am so glad he was in a flexible program, and they were willing to change his grade level.

 

All of this is to say that you may have certain plans for the graduation age of your children when they are small, but as they grow and develop, those ideas may have to change. Just one year before, when my son was 12, going to high school a year earlier than planned wasn't even on the radar. He changed a great deal when he turned 13. Of course, we know 13 year old boys who still look like they're 11, and are in the 8th grade now, and could probably use another year of development before they go to high school. It just depends on how your own particular child grows and develops. Since you're homeschooling, you have the option of being flexible - and that's great!

 

(Oh, and as fate would have it, my son had to have open heart surgery again, just 20 days before his first day of high school! Here he is in high school, just 4 weeks out now from open heart surgery! He is a trooper extraordinaire. And determined! If anyone had a reason to postpone high school an extra year he did, but he wouldn't hear of it!).

[SkateLeft]

I don't think it matters, as long as you do what fits your child. :)

 

My oldest will graduate high school at 16 (she'll turn 17 the summer after graduation), while my youngest will probably be 19 when he graduates, or maybe even later, given his developmental delays. The middle two will turn 18 right after graduation, due to summer birthdays.

 

I think there's a wide range of "normal." :D

[Reya]

We had considered this as far as registration with our BOE. I do not meet the requirements to homeschool for high school in TN without an umbrella school so we had though of waiting to register him as an official Kindergartener when he's 6 (regardless of where he actually is in his studies) just to gain the extra year of choosing my own curriculum. I am now aware of other options and umbrella schools that will allow me to use the curriculum I wish, so I don't know that we will be doing this now.

 

Things happen that we can't expect--for example, you may suddenly get too ill to teach, and the kids night have to be in an institutional school when they're in high school. It shouldn't cause problems if everything goes well, but just in case.... I'd avoid it!

[Jami]

We are thinking of registering our son one year behind from the very beginning. I figure I can always choose to graduate him early and Florida allows you to go to college (free of charge) beginning in 9th grade. So I really don't see any downside - unless it is really uncommon. He is only 3 1/2 - so we are just thinking ahead. If he went through the normal school years after being "held back" from the beginning he would graduate about one month after his 19th birthday. I would like to put some distance between himself and his sister who would only be one grade ahead of him otherwise. (Ability and maturity-wise you would think there were at least three years between them.) If his maturity at age 3 1/2 is any indication - he will certainly need the added year anyway. :D :D

 

I have a late April birthday and my brother had an early May birthday, my parents chose to have us start K at age 6. In my case it was because we went to a country school with an extremely long bus ride, so it was commonly done in that community. 3 hours round-trip on a bus is long for 6 year old and VERY long for a 5 year old. In my brother's case, my mom just wanted to give him an extra year of maturity compared with his peers. Boys *tend* to mature a little bit more slowly (notice I said tend, no sweeping generalization here), and my parents thought it would help with his decision making processes in high school and college. And it seemed to, he was more ready for adulthood than many of his peers, as was I. But that could also be due to good parenting. :001_smile:

 

My son has an early April birthday. He's 7 and we say he's in 2nd grade right now. But we may add a year after 8th grade or encourage a gap year before college if we feel he needs that extra time.

 

I will say that in our respective school classes (mine after we moved from the country school), my brother and I were both older than most of our classmates. I was one of very few 19 year olds at my graduation, by a month or two. So it was less common in town to start late than it had been in a rural community.

 

Jami

[sweetbaby]

Graduating between the ages of 17 to 19 are common around here. Now 21, that's another story.:lol: Hey, at least he or she is graduating.

[Laura Corin]

DH turned 7 in the September that he started school. His mother had the opportunity to start him a year earlier, but decided he needed an extra year of maturity. She may well have been right.

 

However, by the time he was ten, he was causing all kinds of trouble at school: oldest in the class and very smart. His parents ended up taking out a loan to put him into private school, so that he could be stretched intellectually. It worked and he pulled through.

 

Personally, I like the idea of keeping children with their age mates where possible, then having them take a gap year (travel, volunteer work, etc.) before university if they need an extra year of growing.

 

Best wishes

 

Laura

[FloridaLisa]

There's no long-term benefit to redshirting. I wouldn't hold his life back a year without a tremendously compelling reason.

First of all, I like the term "reshirting" much better than "holding back."

 

However, I strongly disagree that there is no long term benefit. Sometimes this is more of a "school" issue that we don't face if we homeschool. But there have been multiple posts on the high school board (and I have many more conversations with IRL) in which kids reach the high school age and parents realize that they may need a "gap" or redshirt year. College professors (including SWB I believe) often comment on the differences between a young just-turned 18-yo freshman and a 19-yo freshman.

 

So, as in many things, it depends on the child. I started college as a 17-yo and graduated law school by 24. No regrets. But my 4-yo ds has an August birthday and I'm nearly certain that I'll redshirt him so that we have a margin when he hits high school. He may not use it. But I'd much rather graduate him "early" than put in a gap year. YMMV. :001_smile:

 

Lisa

 

ETA: The ability to dual enroll has factored into our decision. With AP and dual-enrollment credits, it's unlikely my redshirted dc will be behind at all. But, that 18th year will have been spent at home rather than in a college dorm. Huge difference IMO.

[Tokyomarie]

My second daughter has a mid-April birthday. We ended up giving her an extra year in high school because she is a twice exceptional student- very bright with certain learning challenges. She turned 19 in April and graduated in June. The choice has not been completely without negatives. On one hand, she was much, much better prepared to enter university with the extra year- especially since she blossomed dramatically between 17 and 19 in her academic studies. On the other hand, she occasionally comments about being a year older than most of her peers and is wishing she was closer to being done with her university studies.

 

Our choice was made for a specific circumstance. I'm not sure I would automatically hold a child out who will already be 5 when school starts in September.

[charlotteb]

At the rate we're going, both of my kids will be 17 when they graduate. DS's birthday is in June, so he would turn 18 very soon afterward. We started DD in kindergarten a year early and she wouldn't be 18 until the following year. I'm perfectly content, that they'll both do fine!

[Ellie]

I wouldn't do it. Nineteen *is* "old." It *will* look as if he were held back because he couldn't do the academic work. Now, when he's 30, it won't matter when he "graduated," but there will probably be some uncomfortable, awkward moments along the way, for not really a good reason.

 

I'd rather see a gap year in the end than to hold him back in the beginning.

[Miss Sherry]

I would suggest waiting until he's been in school a few years or more and then decide.

Children all develop at different rates. For some graduating at 16 is a good thing and for others 18 or 19 is better.

 

We held our son back in late elementary but it was for academic reasons. It was to his benefit in sports and I think he enjoyed the extra year in sports in some ways but in other ways not. He felt old and awkward his last year playing sports because he was 19 when he finished high school and his friends were 17 and 18 for the most part. Emotionally he was slower to grow up than some so it was also best that he was held back in that regard.

But I wouldn't recommend it for everyone. I would only do it if they really need the extra time. They get to a point that psychologically they really need to move past high school and it can cause conflict at home to unnecessarily hold them back.