mamabear2three Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I'm 25 weeks pregnant with surprise baby number 4...had extreme morning sickness first trimester. Had a kidney stone which resulted in a bad kidney infection, hospitalization and procedure under general anesthesia... in all the entire ordeal took me out of commission for a month and all before I hit 20 weeks. Have gotten the stomach flu, and two bad colds. Now I'm staring down the possibility of a diagnosis of Gestational diabetes which is super frustrating because I have a severe gluten intolerance and am already limited in what I can eat. I'm a VBAC patient, and my previous birth - c-section - was traumatic, so I have been trying to wrap my head around a hospital based birth, and the possibility of another c-section. To top it off, a huge part of my emotional support - my mom - left to go cruising for the winter back in October. Prior to them leaving, I got together with her twice a week. She's supposed to be back a few weeks before my due date, but I really miss her and am afraid she won't make it back in time. So the bottom line is, I feel depressed. I have a part of me that feels like giving up on the VBAC idea and just scheduling a RCS. A lot less fight in that scenario. I've ordered a therapy light to see if that helps, but it won't come until Monday. I exercise 2-3 times a week and am working on trying to do that daily. I take prenatal vit. and vit. D. but am just tired and gloomy and feel overwhelmed. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 It sounds like you're the one in need of a cruise! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I am sorry. Hugs. I'm 11 weeks along with surprise #4. I haven't had any health challenges, but I understand dealing with the surprise can be depressing--and my mom is a wonderful friend. This would be a hard time not to have her around. You sound like you have a wonderful plan for self-care though. Keep at it. Maybe you could add a good B complex vitamin also. Hugs and prayers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 :grouphug: Do what's best for you, whether that's VBAC or C-section. The important thing is your health. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 :grouphug: Do what's best for you, whether that's VBAC or C-section. The important thing is your health. :grouphug: :iagree: Completely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamabear2three Posted February 24, 2015 Author Share Posted February 24, 2015 What I WANT is to not have to go to the hospital for birth. I want a redo on my last baby. I want him to turn head down and for my fluid levels to stay at a healthy level. What I want is a fantasy that no longer exists. I want to be able to do things in a low intervention/low impact way, without a fight. And I feel horrible for wanting to not be pregnant. I want this baby, I just don't want to do this thing called pregnancy and delivery. Can I just skip ahead to being home with a healthy baby? :sad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifesadream83 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 If it makes you feel better I am 28 weeks... I was supposed to be on progesterone for the beginning of my pregnancy but it completely knocked me out...so I just didn't take it...Baby is ok. I am huge... already gained 28 lbs... this is my 3rd but I also have 3 foster kids and my hubs has been away for 4.5 months but luckily comes back next week! I have celiac so no gluten... no nuts.. and I am scared to death to do my glucose test tomorrow because I have been dizzy every day... I have been fighting depression since the beginning of this pregnancy...I don't have a C-section concern that would scare me to death... I honestly think I wouldn't have anymore if I had to have one... Hugs! We can make it through! edited to add- I have been sick since september when our foster kids moved in... stomach virus 3 rounds of antibiotics... strep sinusus ... etc... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beaniemom Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TX Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 And I feel horrible for wanting to not be pregnant. I want this baby, I just don't want to do this thing called pregnancy and delivery. Can I just skip ahead to being home with a healthy baby? :sad: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Don't feel bad for feeling this way. In my experience there is nothing good about being pregnant...it is just something one has to endure to get a baby. I envy all those women who have enjoyable pregnancies. And as far a the gestational diabetes goes, it shouldn't change your diet too much since sugar and carbs is what you need to avoid. If you are gluten intolerant then most likely a lot of those things you are avoiding already. Susan in TX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 And I feel horrible for wanting to not be pregnant. I want this baby, I just don't want to do this thing called pregnancy and delivery. Can I just skip ahead to being home with a healthy baby? :sad: I'm another who hated being pregnant. No serious health issues. I was just uncomfortable all the time and my skin hurt. I never got the whole "love being pregnant" attitude that a couple friends had. :grouphug: Hope things start looking up for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Can you affors to hire a Doula for the birth? It would probably take a lot of the mental/emotional load off of you and your husband during the delivery. The Doula could communicate your wishes to the hospital staff while you focus on the birth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I had a surprise #4 after a very dicey 3rd c-section. I was depressed and terrified most of the pregnancy. I dreamt repeatedly that I died during surgery. I don't really have any advice, but :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I hope your mom gets home soon too! FWIW, Baby #4 is the happiest little bug ever. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamabear2three Posted February 24, 2015 Author Share Posted February 24, 2015 Can you affors to hire a Doula for the birth? It would probably take a lot of the mental/emotional load off of you and your husband during the delivery. The Doula could communicate your wishes to the hospital staff while you focus on the birth. I have a doula. She told me that it's ok to not feel ok, and to feel discouraged and that I need to try to not put expectations on myself when things like this are out of my control. I'm supposed to keep telling myself that I'm healthy and baby is healthy until proven otherwise, to prevent dwelling on things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 If it makes you feel any better I've had some awful pregnancies (full hospitalization) and some great pregnancies. Now, you'd think once when goes downhill to awful you can't jump back into good, but you can. ;). I still required more care (and surgeries) than a normal mama but less than my worst pregnancies! All this to say I agree with your doula! Also do you live somewhere where you can get outside for good old fashion sunshine too? And fresh air? Be wary of things that advertise gluten free.... The starchy alternatives and GF flours are still crazy for your blood sugar. Lots of meat, broths, and veggies mama. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Sounds like you are doing all the right things...give yourself a break... :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenn121 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 What I WANT is to not have to go to the hospital for birth. I want a redo on my last baby. I want him to turn head down and for my fluid levels to stay at a healthy level. What I want is a fantasy that no longer exists. I want to be able to do things in a low intervention/low impact way, without a fight. And I feel horrible for wanting to not be pregnant. I want this baby, I just don't want to do this thing called pregnancy and delivery. Can I just skip ahead to being home with a healthy baby? :sad: Oh my heart aches for you. I soo totally get that feeling. With surprise #3(now 10 months) I longed for all of the things that went sideways with #1 & #2 to magically not thave happened. I wanted my baby but did not want to be pregnant! Don't feel horrible. It is ok to feel this way. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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