Peaceful Isle Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 The rules... They were out with grandma, and my dh and I were away for a few days at a funeral. Well, they were all out and about and grandma decided to go into a store to get something and told the kids she would be right back. My girl piped up and said they were not allowed to be in the car alone. Grandma said it would be fine, but my girl insisted that mommy didn't allow that. Grandma begrudgingly took them out of the car and they went in with her. My daughter said grandma didn't want the hassle of unbuckling My 3 year old out of the car seat. She is usually really good with the kids, not really sure what got into her?? Good thing, before I left, I sat down with my oldest and told her to watch out for the younger ones and never be alone. I really am not an overprotective mom, but being left in the car, in LA, while grandma is inside a store is sooo not okay with me. It's not the 1950s or anything, ya know?? :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowing Brook Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I would not have a problem with girls your ages staying in the car. However, I think it is wonderful that your girls followed your rules even when you weren't there. Then again being in LA is different than my neck of the woods. So then again I think I agree with you. I am glad your girls insisted on obeying you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 In L.A.? Yeah. I'd have a problem. Good for your daughter for saying something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rwjx2khsmj Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Grandma may need to thank you and your daughter for the rules. Leaving children in the car in LA might have gotten different attention today than in the 50s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 Grandma may need to thank you and your daughter for the rules. Leaving children in the car in LA might have gotten different attention today than in the 50s. Totally agree with you ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 Sometimes grandparents just don't know. I was horrified when my mother told my then-three year old that she would "make (me) drive away and leave him there at the park" if he didn't get in his carseat fast enough for her tastes and have not invited her back for another visit. My friend was more sympathetic when I told her about the incident and feels that this was probably normal parenting in the 1970s and that I was overreacting to call it psychological abuse and threatened carjacking/child endangerment. I can't honestly say that I feel all that differently about $800 jogging strollers and matching Laura Ashley nursery decor than Mom might have felt about my waiting in the parking lot until he was ready to get in his seat and go. I'm glad your daughter stood up for herself. I wouldn't want my children left in a car in LA OR my emotionally and physically fragile 79 year old mother arrested! Thank you for the reminder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 Sometimes grandparents just don't know. I was horrified when my mother told my then-three year old that she would "make (me) drive away and leave him there at the park" if he didn't get in his carseat fast enough for her tastes and have not invited her back for another visit. My friend was more sympathetic when I told her about the incident and feels that this was probably normal parenting in the 1970s and that I was overreacting to call it psychological abuse and threatened carjacking/child endangerment. I can't honestly say that I feel all that differently about $800 jogging strollers and matching Laura Ashley nursery decor than Mom might have felt about my waiting in the parking lot until he was ready to get in his seat and go. I'm glad your daughter stood up for herself. I wouldn't want my children left in a car in LA OR my emotionally and physically fragile 79 year old mother arrested! Thank you for the reminder. This made me giggle. I can remember my mom threatening to pull over and make us walk home, to leave us places, etc. One time I was being such a snot that she actually pretended she did leave me at the mall. I was maybe 10. She hid behind some clothes. I totally deserved it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 I am so proud of your child for sticking up for your instructions and insisting that Grandma follow the rules. That is awesome! And yeah, in her parenting days I'm sure it was perfectly normal to leave kids in the car. My parents did. All the time. Windows were rolled down if it was hot. Of course, we weren't toddlers or anything, probably closer to 6 and 10 the first time, but still... I would not do it now and would insist my mother not do it now. Not just for safety but because of the issues that might arise if someone called the police. And it is a good reminder to make certain that the kids are appraised of the rules when Mom and Dad are gone. Good for you, Mom. Just don't be too hard on Grandma. In fact, be grateful that she listened. Some might just get angry and chew the child out for being disrespectful of her position of authority. Edited to add, though, that I don't expect other care givers to strictly follow my rules when my kids are staying with other people. Only if there is a safety issue that might arise or their choice of videos/books may not be what I would deem appropriate. Otherwise, I feel the kids need to be able to adapt to following the rules of others when they are in another's care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 I guess I just trusted the rules of anyone I left the kids with - which was only my parents, my sister and my best friend. The kids knew the rules might be slightly different to home, but that was OK. That was how I operated, too, although with a few exceptions. I made a list of rules I felt were pretty non-negotiable and why, because I knew that they sometimes operated a little differently on things than I did and while some of that was perfectly fine and the kids knew that with some people rules would be different, there were certain things I very much disagreed with (safety issues such as riding a tricycle outside unsupervised next to a very busy street with a blind corner). I didn't always remember to discuss those rules with my kids, though. I guess I should have.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 About the only rules I habitually state before I walk out the door are which videos ds is allowed to watch or what he's allowed to eat. Time to do something about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 In LA? Yeah, big problem. I remember my grandma had lived in an area in So. Cal. that overtime turned sketchy -- she just didn't really see it. But I'd visit her and be all :eek: . Your daughter is a gem. Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 I'd have an issue with that. It's one thing for me not to worry about my mom getting carried away with chocolate or treats (back when kids were younger), but quite another with safety issues. I would NEVER presume to leave someone else's child unattended in a vehicle, especially not my grandchildren. Too many bad things happen too quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 I am not sure I understand what the hassle is for a three year old's seat..maybe your oldest could take over the job? They're such a pain. Pink has only been able to buckle herself in for the past few months - she still can't get it undone. When I took her with me shopping a few weeks ago, it got really old... every stop, get out of the van, unbuckle her... ugh. I just get sick of it. I can't wait til we're out of 5 point harness carseats. :ack2: That said, I don't see it as a reason to leave her in the car. It's just one of the inconveniences of having a little kid. If I don't feel like messing with getting her in and out all the time, I either don't take her (more often) or I whittle down the places I absolutely have to go so at least I don't have to do it 10 times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 They're such a pain. Pink has only been able to buckle herself in for the past few months - she still can't get it undone. When I took her with me shopping a few weeks ago, it got really old... every stop, get out of the van, unbuckle her... ugh. I just get sick of it. I can't wait til we're out of 5 point harness carseats. :ack2: That said, I don't see it as a reason to leave her in the car. It's just one of the inconveniences of having a little kid. If I don't feel like messing with getting her in and out all the time, I either don't take her (more often) or I whittle down the places I absolutely have to go so at least I don't have to do it 10 times. Yes, this. And when you have a 3 year old like mine, who views it as his mission in life to oppose absolutely every last thing I want him to do, then it can be tiring convincing him to come out of his car seat and then wrestling him back in at stop after stop. I do leave mine in the car when I can, only if it's a quick stop and my 13 year old is with me to stay with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 It is a plus that she used the car seat. I am not sure I understand what the hassle is for a three year old's seat..maybe your oldest could take over the job? I injured my fingers several times on those things and thought repeatedly that if I had arthritis there'd be no way I could get a kid in or out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyomarie Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 I injured my fingers several times on those things and thought repeatedly that if I had arthritis there'd be no way I could get a kid in or out. I am a grandmother now. The carseats of today are so much more difficult to wrangle than the ones I used for my children and my children were little kids in the mid-80s to late 90s. I find it a tad overwhelming to try to operate the buckles on my grandsons' 5-point harnesses because they are so tight I can barely get them to click in. I can't even imagine being a kid and being squished to death in one of those harnesses. With my discomfort of being squished and pressed in on by anything, I think if I were a kid I'd be in one continual panic attack. It's no wonder some kids scream every time they are taken in a car. I also can't imagine being a kid and having to ride with my knees up to my chests because of having to ride rear facing with nowhere for a kid to put his feet when he's 5 years old. I get the story on safety. But there has got to be a more comfortable way for kids to ride and parents to deal with the constant 5 minute struggle just to get the carseat buckles to actually buckle! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 I personally can't wait until my kids are old enough to leave in the car for a quick trip into the store. (They are 7 and old enough now IMO, but they are afraid the cops will come like they did one time. :/) That said, it is wonderful that your daughter is strong enough to speak up and advocate for herself and her younger siblings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 I injured my fingers several times on those things and thought repeatedly that if I had arthritis there'd be no way I could get a kid in or out. Yeah, the car seat my kids used until age 4.5 was hard to open and my fingers would hurt every time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 Just thinking about this, I wonder whether anyone has invented a gizmo to help people with arthritis or other pains/troubles to open those pesky buckles. It would be simple. Just get something hard, about palm size, that has a half-inch protrusion in the middle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 I injured my fingers several times on those things and thought repeatedly that if I had arthritis there'd be no way I could get a kid in or out. I have a hard time with car seats. No arthritis, but other hand issues. It's painful, and requires patience from the little one. If at all possible, DH does the car seat duty. Not always possible, but often. :) Maybe I should train DS (10) on this ... he could take over! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 I injured my fingers several times on those things and thought repeatedly that if I had arthritis there'd be no way I could get a kid in or out. My dad could not figure out did not know that you had to take a kid's winter coat OFF. So he spent like 10 minutes trying to squash my son + coat into the car seat, with the car door open and freezing air everywhere, before I realized they were still there! and went out to help. My grandma is sure car seats are the most awful invention ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 My friend was more sympathetic when I told her about the incident and feels that this was probably normal parenting in the 1970s and that I was overreacting to call it psychological abuse and threatened carjacking/child endangerment. It's a wonder we survived. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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