If your older kids don't clean the kitchen after dinner -- you are making a mistake!

[RoughCollie]

Okay, I wasn't born yesterday, but I sure act like it sometimes.

 

Two of the boys went to Atlanta for 6 weeks this summer. My brother remarked that he could tell I didn't make the boys clean the kitchen -- ever.

 

I got to thinking about that. What is wrong with me?! Why should I suffer alone?

 

This is the end of the second week of the kids cleaning the kitchen. It is wonderful to get up in the morning to a spotless kitchen and dining room that I did nothing to effectuate.

 

The kids work in teams of two and alternate weeks.

 

If your kids are sitting around while you work your bazooka off, it's time for a change. Believe me, you'll love the results.

 

And if I'm the only one whose kids didn't do this all along, shoot me now.

 

RC

[Parrothead]

I'm waiting for the day dd is old enough to do this.

 

I'm of the opinion that if they don't learn how to cook, clean, change a tire at home they won't know how to do it when they are on their own. Especially boys doing household chores and girls doing basic vehicle maintenance.

Women going in to the mechanic saying things like, "The hose thingy attached to the rectangle thingy in front the engine is leaking," are just asking to be taken for a ride. Being able to go in and tell a mechanic that you need a new radiator hose and clamps is a great thing.

[RoughCollie]

I fully agree with you. I don't know how I let the kitchen escape the kids' grasp. I did teach them to cook, but I didn't teach them to clean up after themselves with that either.

 

I wasn't raised like that. My sister and I cleaned the kitchen from about age 8 on.

 

RC

 

I'm of the opinion that if they don't learn how to cook, clean, change a tire at home they won't know how to do it when they are on their own. Especially boys doing household chores and girls doing basic vehicle maintenance.

 

[Mom2legomaniacs]

Yes! Good idea. Mine do some things when asked, but not on a nightly basis or regular schedule. They can both cook some things, clean a bathroom (not a great job but a good start), fold and put away laundry, unload dishwasher, sweep and mop, empty trash, and are learning how to make a bed when the sheets are freshly washed. This last chore is hard since the fitted sheet on the older ds's bed is kind of hard to get on. And they have double over double bunk beds. Not a fun chore. The older would rather scrub the house with a toothbrush than to make his bed from scratch!

[lwilliams1922]

I've been working on this off and on for years.

some times its easier to to it right than to listen to the whining.

:(

 

Then last year dd/12 was in a new school. She ran in to a lot of privledged friends. One mom even said it was her responsiblity to clean up after her kids.

 

 

For various reaosns we homeschool now.

[Parrothead]

One mom even said it was her responsibility to clean up after her kids.

 

That poor misguided woman.

[Pink Fairy]

I struggle with this too. My oldest is 11, and she already shoulders way more than her younger siblings, so I hesitate to add more to her list of to do's. On the other hand, we do have our 8yo ds clear off the dining room table, including scraping and stacking. For some reason, I just haven't made that move to making them do the actually washing of the dinner dishes. Breakfast and lunch, yes. But those baked-on food pans, the greasy stove, the sauce that spills on the countertop--I'm convinced that I'd be pulling stuff out to cook dinner and find pieces of last night's dinner dried on my pots. GAG! I'm not ready yet. I'm getting sweaty just thinking about it...hold me...

[Remudamom]

I have the girls help me in the house, but the boys help their dad, and I just don't expect them to help every day with the house chores. They feed cattle in the morning before school work.

 

They keep their room picked up but not cleaned, but they do clean their bathroom, with some sister help. Clear their plates off the table and clean up any kitchen mess they make. They mow the yard, clean the garage, tack room. Weedeat.

 

The girls do housework with me. The oldest, 15, has taken it upon herself to do the laundry. All the laundry, from picking it off the floor to ironing and back in the closets. She makes me feel guilty, so I hop around trying to keep up with her. Youngest dd will do what she's asked, but she has to be asked. They vacuum, dust, clean and cook. But then, my babies are 14, so I would hope they do all this.

[gardening momma]

I remember when I was in 6th grade, my older sister and I took turns washing and drying dishes (one washed, the other dried). After my 6th grade year, we moved, and not long after that my mom got a dishwasher. Then our jobs were--one of us loaded the dishwasher and did whatever extra dishes there were, and the other one cleared the dinner table and put the food away. My younger sister's job was to sweep the kitchen floor every night after dinner, and my younger brother's job (he's the youngest in the family) was to take out the trash each night. I think that when my older sister moved out, my younger sister and I took turns with dishes and clearing table/food, and my mom probably took over the sweeping.

[Janet in Toronto]

My boys (16 and 13) both do the dishes after dinner every night. It's been the routine for the past 3-4 years I'd say and works very well. Sometimes, the dishwasher is stacked a little crazily, and the counters are not always wiped as well as I'd like, but it's lovely to leave the dinner table and flop!

 

DH sometimes helps them if there is a lot of cleanup, but in general, they're on their own. Their future wives will thank me!

 

Janet

[Peela]

My 12 and 14 year olds do ALL dishes, every meal,(we have a dishwasher but pots are handwashed) as well as wiping surfaces, basic kitchen cleaning, on alternate weeks.

It doesn't work to do it alternate nights for us because if one leaves something soaking they end up arguing. And if they try and do it together, we have problems too.

[percytruffle]

This is what we did as well. Also, the one who wasn't on clean-up that week was responsible for unloading the dishwasher in the morning. There was grumbling and sometimes less than stellar cleaning, but it worked. I told them I already did my part by taking an hour or more to make the dinner. It was unfair to me to also clean up.

 

Now that they are both old enough to work jobs and take college classes I no longer require their kitchen assistance. There are times when I am exhausted (Hey, I'm not as young as I used to be) and they pitch in and help. There are also times when I don't make dinner or they choose to eat out. They are old enough to fend for themselves.

 

Enjoy it while you can. It won't last forever and you'll be glad they have learned how much work you do and how to take care of their own kitchen some day.

[*anj*]

In our home each person is responsible for removing his/her own plate and glass from the table, to scrape and rinse the plate, and put it in the dishwasher. I ask random children to clear the table of serving dishes.

 

My oldest is 11 and I think that it probably is time for him to start washing the dishes that don't go into the dishwasher.

 

He empties the dishwasher, but I don't have the other kids do it because they can't reach the cabinets, though I do have them put silverware away.

 

And while we're on the subject of chores, my kids are very involved in the laundering process. We hang our clothes outside to dry, so everyone has to help with that. And once all of the clothes come back inside each person has to find, fold, and put away their own things. I fold my own and my husband's, though sometimes they help with those as well.

[cin]

My 7 yr old can't reach the cabinets, but I have her unload the dishwasher and put them under the correct cabinet. That still takes a big bite out of the time! And both girls are required to take their dishes over to the sink. dd4 just sits them on the counter (she did drop a glass into the sink ONE time....IF dd7 can stay focused long enough, she puts dd4 dishes INTO the sink, if not, they are still AT the dishwasher ready to be loaded. I'm going to start teaching dd7 how to load it this fall. She's going to be getting cooking lessons, and I figure it's all part of cooking, right?!

 

I probably should start teaching them some laundry skills. I ahve a front loader on a block so they can't reach the soap dispenser, but they can do everything else....Yeah, I think that's next :D

[Nakia]

Good for you, RC!! I fully intend to teach my daughters how to cook and clean. And their dad is going to teach them how to mow grass and change the oil. My parents did not teach us any life skills. It has taken me 10 years to figure out how to properly clean my house and cook meals. :tongue_smilie:

[Nestof3]

Yep, as soon as dinner is done, Aaron and I clean the kitchen. I often have the younger ones help set the table. The younger ones also carry their dishes and trash to the sink/trashcan.

 

It doesn't take us long at all. Of course, my mother-in-law was shocked that Aaron actually made his own bed when he stayed there. Beds are made every day at our house -- by the person who sleeps in it. She was making my husband's bed for him up until the day he left home. Thankfully, he is not like that now!

 

Enjoy your extra time now that you have helpers!

[RoughCollie]

The only household life skill my kids want to learn is how to hire a great maid.

 

We don't have a maid. When one of my DS was 3 years old, he summed up their feelings: "Mom, I figured it out! Eve was the first woman and she was also the first maid!"

 

Part of the boys' attitude is based on their seeing that DH does not know how to do anything around the house. I offset this somewhat by pointing out that DH is always at work and that he was an only child in the 50s, his mother did not work outside the home, and they had a maid. Different time, different family, different lifestyle, and vastly different Mom.

 

Cleaning the kitchen and mowing the lawn are the last two major basic things they need to learn about housekeeping.

 

So far they are doing a great job with the kitchen. It helps that they have to eat the food that comes from there, and that DD did a huge science project on bacteria in the kitchen last year. I gilded the lily by graphically describing the potential consequences of food poisoning. :D

 

I mowed our lawn for the first time ever a couple of weeks ago. As soon as I get a bit more experience, I'm going to teach the kids how to do it.

 

RC

[Dayle in Guatemala]

I agree. It's good for kids to take responsibility in the home. My dc clean up after dinner every night now, and it is a wonderful thing!

[RoughCollie]

When my DH was a single adult who owned a 4-bedroom home on an acre of land, his parents would drive 2.5 hours every weekend so his mother could clean his house and his father could maintain the yard and outside of the house!

 

Before kids, I was in the kitchen preparing a huge Thanksgiving dinner and DH was watching football on t.v. His mother came into the kitchen and castigated me because I had not checked to see if DH's drink needed to be refreshed and I had not brought him a snack! She was shocked when I told her that he was a grown man and if he needed more Coke or something to eat, he could fix it for himself. I had to take a :chillpill: after that because I was mad as a wet hornet.

 

RC

 

She was making my husband's bed for him up until the day he left home.

[Happy]

Our family policy:

 

He (or She) who cooks does not clean.

 

If the dc don't want to clean, they can cook.

 

Simple choice. ;) All my guys can cope in the kitchen, so they do have a choice.

[Scarlett]

My 7 yr old can't reach the cabinets,

 

My 8.5 year old son has been unloading the dishwasher for well over a year. He still can't reach some of the cabinets without his step stool. :D Now that he needs the stool less he finds it so much easier that he almost doesn't think of it as a chore.

 

I am starting him now on helping to clean the kitchen. We don't have cattle or chickens to feed, so he can by George learn to clean the kitchen in the evenings. I am exhausted by the time supper is over, so I really look forward to clean up being taken off my hands.

[Rosie_0801]

I've been working on this off and on for years.

some times its easier to to it right than to listen to the whining.

 

Would you feel better if you called it "home economics?" That way they have to do it with no more whining than their other schoolwork, and since they are only beginning this new subject, you won't feel like they are supposed to be perfect straight away. You'll just want to see improvement over time.

My mother taught me that people have children so they can stop washing dishes themselves, heheh. I'm all for that!!

When I started off as a junior leader with gumnut guides (5-6 yo) I found it was my job to wash their cups and plates! No way! I filled the sink, pulled over a chair, and the girls lined up to wash their own, then dry, then put them on the bench (the cupboards were too high.) I remember one boisterous little newbie coming in and happily throwing her dishes on the bench. "No!" said one of our other girls, who had never initiated conversation with anyone in over a year. "You have to wash and dry your own!" The newbie looked surprised, a touch subdued, and was soon washing her dishes ever so happily! The kids absolutely loved that they were allowed to do it. Of course I was their leader, not their mum. A different kettle of fish...

:)

Rosie

[LG Gone Wild]

I'm waiting for the day dd is old enough to do this.

 

I'm of the opinion that if they don't learn how to cook, clean, change a tire at home they won't know how to do it when they are on their own. Especially boys doing household chores and girls doing basic vehicle maintenance.

Women going in to the mechanic saying things like, "The hose thingy attached to the rectangle thingy in front the engine is leaking," are just asking to be taken for a ride. Being able to go in and tell a mechanic that you need a new radiator hose and clamps is a great thing.

 

Ditto

[lwilliams1922]

good idea!

 

I will be adding this in under 'life skils'

 

 

I've been working on this off and on for years.

some times its easier to to it right than to listen to the whining.

 

Would you feel better if you called it "home economics?" That way they have to do it with no more whining than their other schoolwork, and since they are only beginning this new subject, you won't feel like they are supposed to be perfect straight away. You'll just want to see improvement over time.

My mother taught me that people have children so they can stop washing dishes themselves, heheh. I'm all for that!!

When I started off as a junior leader with gumnut guides (5-6 yo) I found it was my job to wash their cups and plates! No way! I filled the sink, pulled over a chair, and the girls lined up to wash their own, then dry, then put them on the bench (the cupboards were too high.) I remember one boisterous little newbie coming in and happily throwing her dishes on the bench. "No!" said one of our other girls, who had never initiated conversation with anyone in over a year. "You have to wash and dry your own!" The newbie looked surprised, a touch subdued, and was soon washing her dishes ever so happily! The kids absolutely loved that they were allowed to do it. Of course I was their leader, not their mum. A different kettle of fish...

:)

Rosie

[Jenne]

My DH has the philosophy that a man who doesn't know how to cook and clean gets married for the wrong reason! Hehe. He does a lot around the house.

 

DS12 unloads the dishwasher and helps swap around the laundry. He also does a lot of tidying up in the living room. He knows how to mow the lawn. I've been a lot more relaxed with him than with our older son, who essentially stopped eating at home at the age of 17 because he didn't want to help clean up.

[mommylawyer]

A wise woman told me a couple of months ago to teach your children to help out as soon as they can walk and talk. (Yes, believe it or not, there are things an 18 month old can learn to do around the house.) This same woman pointed out that by not allowing your kids to help out, you are not raising them to be good husbands or wives for future spouses.

 

Since then, all 3 of my kids help out in some fashion (they're only 5, 3, and 21 months). Tonight, I had my oldest take everyone's plates to the dinner table - it's the first time I've even thought to do that - she was proud, I was happy that I didn't have to make 5 trips to the table, and I got to start dinner with the rest of my family.

 

Yes, have your kids help!

[GSMP]

Mine started helping out in the kitchen when they were about five. I supervised peeling carrots and potatoes.

 

Washing plastic cups and playing in the bubbles. That was me playing with them.

 

By the time they were about 8 they could help put away some of the dishes. We only allowed them to put away the cups and plates.....Now they are 11,12 and 14 and each takes turn in the kitchen for a week.

 

They rotate a week at a time.......

 

They can do their own laundry.