Veteran homeschoolers - are you alone in your neck of the woods?

[Sharon in SC]

It's happened gradually over the course of the last few years but this year I find myself pretty much *alone* in my homeschooling journey (besides my immediate family, of course). When I started 10 years ago, practically all of my good buddies (girlfriends) homeschooled. It was so much fun doing field trips together, comparing curriculum notes, etc, etc. We started when my oldest began 1st grade. I met one of my now closest friends that year because she, too, was beginning to homeschool her oldest, the same age as mine. Fast forward to now - I'm down to one friend who still homeschools. Of course, I have acquaintances with whom I still share this journey. But, it's just sad to me to think that when I'm on the phone with my close friends, we no longer have the common bond of homeschool. Certainly, we share other bonds and therefore I'm continually blessed by their friendship. It's just that the dynamics have changed somewhat, kwim? I guess I feel, well....alone.

 

(I don't mean to single out longtime homeschoolers. I only mention that as a factor because if I were early into my homeschooling venture the absence of close buddies sharing the journey with me would not be an issue in terms of grieving a loss, kwim? :-})

[Dayle in Guatemala]

Yes, I'm pretty much alone. Back home in MN, I have a lot of friends who homeschool, but, here, not so much. There are getting to be a few more, but, they aren't really interested in getting together with others. Too busy, or they do a packaged curr. that takes up so much of their time.

[newbie]

I think a lot of us feel that way, I don't know one person who homeschools in my area, and have no connections with any homeschoolers. All my friends are ps moms. But they do say I am lucky.

 

At least you can come here, we totally support you, and if I lived close by , I would be your buddy, you have a great soul.

 

:grouphug:

Jet

[Sharon in SC]

At least you can come here, we totally support you, and if I lived close by , I would be your buddy, you have a great soul.

 

:grouphug:

Jet

 

Awwww! :grouphug: Thank you, Jet.

[Sharon in SC]

....but, they aren't really interested in getting together with others. Too busy, or they do a packaged curr. that takes up so much of their time.

 

It really is such a blessing to have others to truly *share* the journey with at times! Honestly, as mine have gotten older, I haven't felt the need for the field trips or get togethers so much. I'm primarily missing the comraderie.

[Colleen]

Yes, I feel alone in the same sense you describe. And it's funny, because I've never been one anyway who has wanted to do the homeschool field trips and so on. I'm not a joiner. But here's the thing. When I started homeschooling, I knew I was one of many. This is a community in which homeschooling is quite common and that made it easier to choose this path. I may not have joined a co-op or gone on outings or chatted curriculum with folks, but I knew they were homeschooling and just that knowledge some how made it easier, kwim?

 

I think you read my "homeschool island" thoughts I shared not long ago, and that's where I'm at now. It's been a gradual process of others enrolling their children in school or hooking up with the "parent partnership program" that's essentially equivalent to a charter school. I know of next to no one who is homeschooling their older students at home and yes, that does make me feel alone.

 

I have been in this ridiculous state of paralysis for the past month or two with regard to some of Jan's schooling (my oldest), and I think one of the reasons is just the fact that I'm going it alone. I can't rest in the knowledge that hey, other people around me are doing it, so it can't be that hard. Which is where the WTM high school board comes in handy. I need to know there are people out there who are on this path. My problem is that many of those people use far more rigorous, classical resources than I, so if I read that board too often, I feel overwhelmed and discouraged by comparison.

 

Anyway. Long answer to a short question.:)

[8filltheheart]

FOr a simple question, I have a complicated answer b/c it's both yes and no. ;)

 

Before we moved, even though all of our wonderful friends homeschooled, I felt totally alone in regards to homeschooling. I have a totally different homeschooling ethic than our friends. Homeschooling, in general, simply became a topic we did not discuss other than superficially.

 

SInce we have moved, I have met more wonderful women. In a way I do feel alone though. For example, I went out to a homeschooling Mom's Night Out this week. I was the oldest one there (and I don't see myself as that old, 42) Several other moms were close to my age, but even so, all their children are young (oldest I think being 12). So, to have been homeschooling longer than they have even had children, my perspectives are different. I enjoy their company and can see becoming close friends with them. But again, homeschooling is simply how we have met, but probably not much in common other than having our kids at home.

 

For real support for my homeschool efforts, I usually find it here.

[Plucky]

Not yet. I think it helps that my youngest is 8. We still go to park days and interact. I try to stay pretty involved for my kids and for me. Some of the moms are getting younger though. :)

 

I did meet one mom that is homeschooling her very last kid and wrapping up homeschooling. She was giving curriculum away and wasn't at all interested in interacting with us. I think she's had the same conversations a hundred times and we who are still in the trenches haven't tired of them yet.

 

I don't care at all how others homeschool. I like talking about our days, our struggles, our successes... these things we all have in common. I can see though how someday I'll have to transition from homeschooling. But not yet and no I don't feel lonely in my journey.

[camibami]

Sometimes. There are a zillion people schooling (I use the term loosely;)) 3-4-5 year olds. Not so many with 7 and 10 year olds, or if they are, they are using DVDs, K-12, etc.

 

Thats why I love this board so much!

[elegantlion]

One of the great things when I started was we had 10 families in our church alone that homeschooled.

 

Between 2 other good friends we had all elementary grades covered, all with boys. It was fun. Then they sent their kids back to school and we moved. Now I am all alone.

[G5052]

We're involved in a co-op, and there's only five each in the 5th and 6th grade classes, and waiting lists for all the classes 4th and below. I know of co-op opportunities for 7th and up, but I also know that some were cancelled this fall for lack of enrollment. If we continue as I hope, we're going to have to continue to commute a bit to get the higher grades.

 

With the economy as it is, three of my homeschooling friends are going back to work this fall with their kids going to the classroom. All have some children in middle school and up.

 

So no, we're not alone, but I frankly was shocked at first when I realized how many in this area stop at some point. When we started, I sort of assumed we'd all go the whole way, and that just hasn't been the case at all.

[WTMCassandra]

Yes, very few people homeschool older children in my area or are not in a partnership program. I can think of one family for sure that is completely independent. I did meet a lot of independent homeschoolers at our state's conservative conference, but they live far away from us.

[Vida Winter]

When I started homeschooling my oldest, we lived in Virginia and there were many others on the same path. Then we moved to a smaller town in Oregon, and there were just a handful. Then we moved to a much smaller town (pop ~1000) and there are really only a few. Of them, we live fairly far away from each other, and have very little in common.

 

I'm glad I had the support in numbers when I started. That's when I needed it the most. Now that I've been at it for many years, I don't really need or want the support (other than from my WTM friends, of course!). I just don't have time, and I'm hopping around enough as it is with all the non-homeschool activities we are involved in.

[Pam Wilhelm]

Alone again...... naturally.

 

 

 

(now I'll have that song stuck in my head...... off to youtube it. :D )

[Laura K (NC)]

As my oldest gets older, fewer and fewer of his friends are staying the course and finishing off high school at home. This year a whole bunch of local homeschoolers put their kids into public school for 9th, 10th, and 11th grades. My two younger boys, in 6th and 8th grades, are seeing more of their friends go into the public and private schools as well.

 

When we first started homeschooling and my kids were early elementary age there were so many playgroups and activities to choose from. I could go to a homeschoolers' used book sale and be guaranteed to find several sellers of titles I was interested in. Now that my kids are older, I have to search harder for their books and drive farther for them to get together with friends. I can't commiserate with friends my own age, either, because they either put their kids in a co-op and depend on those tutors, or they enroll them in community college, or use video tutors. I know very few who are actually teaching their middle and high schoolers, so yes, I do feel like an oddball, and I do feel alone. I guess it's fortunate for me that homeschooling takes more of my time each year, and I wouldn't have time for the socializing I did when my kids were younger. My boys need more socializing now than they did earlier, though. We're relying heavily on homeschool sports (cross country, basketball, swimming) for time with friends, but I worry that we will be able to fill out teams this year.

 

So even though I feel very blessed to have so many opportunities for my kids, I do feel more and more alone each year.

[RenayofRohan]

I live on a tiny, remote tropical island, and I think I've met 4 homeschoolers in the last 2 1/2 years. There are no homeschool groups here. Back in SoCal I was a part of a wonderful homeschool group with classes (some I taught), field trips, science fairs, workshops, park days, etc. I had a lot of friends, and so did my children. My SIL homeschooled and lived right next door!

 

That's why I am SO thankful for the online community! ;) I think I would go crazy if I didn't have any interaction with homeschool moms. Being in this position has forced me to find resources otherwise I don't think I would have come across. I have learned so much.

 

I do keep in touch with some of my hs friends from CA by email, and that has been a blessing too.

[Jane in NC]

When we began homeschooling in 7th grade, there were a number of homeschooled high schoolers in the area. When my son began 9th, the older high schoolers were taking concurrent enrollment courses at the CC, while a number of the 9th graders moved over to either the large public school for sports or the newer early college high school. The traditional public school offers some AP courses; early college assumes that students will take a number of courses at the CC.

 

We were the only ones doing something remotely classical. I am thrilled to report that two Classical Conversations groups have since developed in the area. No, I have no vested financial interest, but I am glad to see students in my area learning Latin. The students are younger but have a peer group on a similar path so they won't be alone as we were.

 

I don't know what I would do without the support of people on these boards! One of my dear board friends is someone whom I have not yet met in person, yet we are on the phone together regularly. Our children are similar so we have found someone to run ideas by. I am so grateful for her in my life as well as other board friends with whom I regularly exchange emails or private messages.

 

Jane

[TravelingChris]

I am starting my 14th year of full-time homeschooling. Since we are military, we have moved around a lot. In our current location, I don't think I know anyone else who has homeschooled the duration of their child's education unless their children are younger than mine (my youngest is 11). Some are homeschooling highschoolers but even there, the emphasis is different because many of the kids coming out of school had school problems. Not always was the child doing poorly or having some type of bullying or discipline problem. SOmetimes the school was not challenging enough. But regardless of why the family left, if the situation changes, they often go back. The problem for my daughters has been with my younger one. This year, three of her friends have gone back to school. Her only friends that are left are younger than her (or one who is older but acts younger due to learning problems). It is not a situation that I am happy with since my younger dd realy needs same or older age friends. My older dd who was in high school last year, still has all her acquaintances in homeschooling around.

 

In the second location we homeschooled, there were lots of children who had been homeschooled from the get go and were being homeschooled into high school and graduating. The same was true of other places we lived but this area has been different. I don't know if it has anything to do with stricter homeschooling laws then the other states I have lived in.

[Jenne]

I'm not a veteran homeschooler by any stretch, but I do feel out-of-synch with other homeschoolers in my area. The "official" group in my town requires a statement of faith, and as a Catholic, I can't feel comfortable signing it (it's not a Catholic group). The group in the next town over is mostly people homeschooling preschoolers, so my DS12 has only met a couple of kids his age. Luckily, he still has PS friends, but I'm all alone except for this group (which I am so grateful to have found!)

 

Also, I do find that I have very few mom friends anywhere near my age. I had my kids young, so people my age are just now having babies and people with kids my DSs' ages are 10-15 years older than me. It's weird.

[8filltheheart]

I'm not a veteran homeschooler by any stretch, but I do feel out-of-synch with other homeschoolers in my area. The "official" group in my town requires a statement of faith, and as a Catholic, I can't feel comfortable signing it (it's not a Catholic group). The group in the next town over is mostly people homeschooling preschoolers, so my DS12 has only met a couple of kids his age. Luckily, he still has PS friends, but I'm all alone except for this group (which I am so grateful to have found!)

 

Also, I do find that I have very few mom friends anywhere near my age. I had my kids young, so people my age are just now having babies and people with kids my DSs' ages are 10-15 years older than me. It's weird.

 

I think that is the case with me as well. By today's standards, we started our family young (though I don't see it as young myself) I still have kids that are little. But, I don't know, I still have little homeschooling in common with them.

 

I would rather just meet families we enjoy and invite them over to hang out. :)

[Jenne]

I know what you mean... my favorite homeschooling friend lives in Delaware! I wish she lived nearby so we could just hang out. I miss that.

[hsmamainva]

I can certainly relate!!

 

My oldest is a senior this year and will be graduating. Out of my circle of friends whom I started on this homeschool journey with, 90% have put their children into school at some point along the way.

 

We moved to another state 3 years ago and our local homeschool group doesn't have any children over the age of 12...so I'm having to drive 30 minutes to find a homeschool group with teenagers.

 

I noticed it around middle school age and definitely by high school age. When their children hit 9th grade, they started dropping like flies. Some had husbands who wanted their children to go to high school for the 'social opportunities' and a few had children who wanted to go to high school for sports (Little League and other county teams end around the age of 12 or so).

 

I also live in a rural area, so that makes it even harder!! But...it's made my children closer than they would be if they had a huge circle of friends and tons of outside activities. (As I type this, my 17 year old is in the basement playing with my 6 year old and our Thomas the Tank Engine trainset! :D)

[rwalizer]

Yes, I'm pretty much alone. Back home in MN, I have a lot of friends who homeschool, but, here, not so much. There are getting to be a few more, but, they aren't really interested in getting together with others. Too busy, or they do a packaged curr. that takes up so much of their time.

 

Yes! It's not just me having this experience! I once planned a field trip with a few of these acquaintances. It went over pretty well and then I never heard from any of them again. Weird. We are all the same religion (one that is often considered to be on the fringes) so you would think that this along with homeschooling, even though they all use packaged curriculum, would draw us together. It's nice to know I'm not the only one having this experience.

[Sharon in SC]

I think you read my "homeschool island" thoughts I shared not long ago, and that's where I'm at now. It's been a gradual process of others enrolling their children in school or hooking up with the "parent partnership program" that's essentially equivalent to a charter school. I know of next to no one who is homeschooling their older students at home and yes, that does make me feel alone.

 

I have been in this ridiculous state of paralysis for the past month or two with regard to some of Jan's schooling (my oldest), and I think one of the reasons is just the fact that I'm going it alone. I can't rest in the knowledge that hey, other people around me are doing it, so it can't be that hard. Which is where the WTM high school board comes in handy. I need to know there are people out there who are on this path. My problem is that many of those people use far more rigorous, classical resources than I, so if I read that board too often, I feel overwhelmed and discouraged by comparison.

 

Anyway. Long answer to a short question.:)

 

:grouphug: ((Colleen)) I do remember your "island" post. You are right, it has been a gradual process. Everyone didn't bail at one time. They just sort of dropped like flies, at the rate of one or two/year for the last two to three years. :crying: Consequently, I really have found the value of these boards to increase all the more for me. I reckon we're to just realize that we're really not alone, it just *feels* like it. (You know, friends "with skin on" and all that!) I've been meaning to respond to your other post about your older son (curriculum quandry) but since I've been in the throes of jumpstarting EDEN Academy, I've not been able to...yet. Don't know that I can make a difference at all but, if nothing else, I just wanted you to know that you have a friend's listening ear.

[Sharon in SC]

For real support for my homeschool efforts, I usually find it here.

 

I know what you mean, now more than ever.

[Sharon in SC]

With the economy as it is, three of my homeschooling friends are going back to work this fall with their kids going to the classroom.

 

Yes. One of the dearest of my friends, mother of five, is heading to work with her oldest (my older dd's age) continuing to homeschool but the four youngers going to traditional school (one public, three private). She has homeschooled as long as I have. It is probably her absence that I'm feeling most acutely, just now.

[Sharon in SC]

In fact, two years ago, I realized that dh went to highschool with the DAD of the mom to whom I was speaking!

 

Oh, my! :tongue_smilie:

[Sharon in SC]

Ladies, thanks for taking the time to share your stories. It really did help! I enjoyed reading each and every one.

[Kris]

We are pretty much alone in our endeavor, but I like it that way. My neighbors homeschooled two of their kids last year, but they are much younger and their interest in what we were doing was limited to asking for our books.

 

I do know there is one other lady in a nearby town who has, apparently, been homeschooling her kids for years. Someone was going to give her my phone number so she could call me, but I never heard from her. So, I'm guessing, she likes it that way, too. :D