maikon Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 I have come across many children (<10 years) and I've always easily identified gifted/talented/genius girls. At the very first encounter, I can easily spot them. They are so talented, wise, not-so-shy at strangers and behave very well matured for their age. But I've not come across a single boy who I can identify as gifted. I can say that they are bright or accelerated but definitely not gifted. This includes my son as well. One reason could be that they don't like to show up themselves in public. So, I would like to know if you too hold this opinion or are there any resources which delve into this topic deeply. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 I have a gifted boy and a gifted girl with almost identical IQs as per test. Everybody readily recognizes that my outgoing, extroverted, highly ambitious DD is gifted. My introverted, minimalist DS manages to hide his abilities quite well. I think it is more a question of personality than of gender. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuddhaMama Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 Hmmm... my oldest daughter is 7 and gifted. She is very mature for her age and prefers the company of older kids. But she also has a hard time regulating her emotions. She has meltdowns at the drop of a hat, usually prompted when things don't go as she planned (she has a big perfectionism problem). She has a hard time fitting in and relating to other kids her age. A good friend of hers is a boy the same age, also gifted. Even though they are both gifted, they are so different! He's a bit immature for his age, but very advanced academically. Also has a hard time fitting in socially and is quite a "show off." I love him, but he has a tendency to brag about his skills which can be a bit off putting to other kids. I don't really believe it's a boy vs. girl thing though. I think every gifted kid is different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 Verbally gifted kids tend to stand out more to casual acquaintances than gifted kids who are strongest in math & science. Girls often (but not always) tend to skew more verbal and boys more towards STEM. At the high end of the curve for IQ, there is evidence that boys may actually outnumber girls. The reason is that boys have more variability while girls tend to be more clustered about the median. So on the tail ends both high and low there are more boys than girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 Girls on average, gifted or not, often behave more maturely for their age than boys, if by mature we mean standing or sitting and carrying on an adult type conversation, rather than constant fidgeting or climbing everything in sight while yelling boisterously. Beyond that I think it is just personality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jar7709 Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 I agree with PP that it's more personality and the child's individual and obvious strengths than gender. I think my DS is more easily spotted as "gifted" to the casual observer because of his giant vocabulary and high verbal skills, while my DD (the more "mathy" of the two) often flies under the radar. They both fidget and climb all over everything, so at least here that's a variable taken out of the equation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 I agree with PP that it's more personality and the child's individual and obvious strengths than gender. I think my DS is more easily spotted as "gifted" to the casual observer because of his giant vocabulary and high verbal skills, while my DD (the more "mathy" of the two) often flies under the radar. They both fidget and climb all over everything, so at least here that's a variable taken out of the equation. The boys being more active and boisterous is definitely not universal, just seems to be an overall trend. Yesterday I was at a dance studio watching the kids warm up and was rather amused to see all the boys plus one girl running up and down the room like wild hooligans while the rest of the girls sat in little clumps on the floor chatting while they stretched Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 There are some good articles here under Social/Emotional: Gender Specific: http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/browse_by_topic_articles.aspx I feel like I can identify bright kids and have seen them among both sexes, but I think I haven't met many gifted kids since I've been a parent, so it's hard for me to say. People are more taken by my son's "lectures" than my daughter's quiet skills. But I expect her to be easier to advocate for as time goes on -- she has easily demonstrable academic abilities and a calm demeanor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jar7709 Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 Right, maize, I see that trend too...DD is that "one girl" in that dance class. ;) But since I have two kids that somewhat buck the trends, and I think a lot of damage has been done by stereotypes that have resulted from the trends, I like to see discussions that stay away from "girls are like this" and "boys are like that", because it is indeed more complicated than that. So far so good in this one. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 The boys being more active and boisterous is definitely not universal, just seems to be an overall trend. Yesterday I was at a dance studio watching the kids warm up and was rather amused to see all the boys plus one girl running up and down the room like wild hooligans while the rest of the girls sat in little clumps on the floor chatting while they stretched Both my girls are/were very active up through about age 9 or so. My oldest has FINALLY calmed down, but it's only been recently that she's done so. My little one would still be running around with the boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 Verbally gifted kids tend to stand out more to casual acquaintances than gifted kids who are strongest in math & science. Girls often (but not always) tend to skew more verbal and boys more towards STEM. Yes: my boys are language-oriented and have always been noticed. Even if they didn't say much, when they did start talking people noticed them. L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zarabellesmom Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 You wouldn't recognize my oldest daughter then. She probably wouldn't even make eye-contact with you. She's incredibly shy until you really get to know her and only then will she talk your ear off. She's bossy, has difficulty keeping her emotions under control, sensory issues (loud noises are a real problem here), a perfectionist, low tolerence for frustration. She's mathy. Very very mathy. And science too. My youngest, however, would fit your stereotype and she's the one I haven't had tested. She's the one who walked early, talked even earlier. Never stops talking, I mean, ever. Still very emotional. It's like riding a roller coaster over here. I guess what I would say is that you've identified some of the gifted and talented girls because of how that subgroup projects, but you didn't find all of them. I don't have any boys, besides my husband (ha!) and he's very much like my oldest daughter. It's probably why they get along so well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuddhaMama Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I've heard this too but our experience has been the opposite! My daughter is strongest mathematically and in logic, science, etc. She's going into 2nd grade this year and has just started reading with fluency (went from early 1st grade reading level to 3rd grade level in the past 4 months). But is working at the 4th-5th grade math level, and is OBSESSED with science documentaries and videos geared towards adults. Her good friend (boy/ also gifted) is strongest verbally. But whereas my daughter is pretty flexible and able to (mostly) fit-in to her grade level (with subject acceleration in math, and a pull-out program 3x per week), her friend has a much harder time. Next year he'll be attending a self-contained class for kids who are gifted. He's also "twice exceptional" (gifted plus learning disability). I would be curious to see if there is a correlation between gifted boys and LDs (may explain why gifted boys seem "less mature"). Verbally gifted kids tend to stand out more to casual acquaintances than gifted kids who are strongest in math & science. Girls often (but not always) tend to skew more verbal and boys more towards STEM. At the high end of the curve for IQ, there is evidence that boys may actually outnumber girls. The reason is that boys have more variability while girls tend to be more clustered about the median. So on the tail ends both high and low there are more boys than girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodland Mist Academy Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 The boys being more active and boisterous is definitely not universal, just seems to be an overall trend. Yesterday I was at a dance studio watching the kids warm up and was rather amused to see all the boys plus one girl running up and down the room like wild hooligans while the rest of the girls sat in little clumps on the floor chatting while they stretched This reminds me of Lily during our brief foray into dance...brief, mind you, very brief....lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodland Mist Academy Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I suspected for many years that one of my daughter's friends was gifted--even though his grades were average and his family wasn't academically inclined. When the family moved to a better school district, the new teachers almost immediately took note and recommended testing. Many opportunities opened up to him as a result. I have know him since he was a babe in arms. Neither his gender, nor his quiet manner hid his giftedness. It still bothers me that his former teachers didn't recognize it. Maybe they were among the teachers who are opposed to gifted testing and programs...I'm not sure... Like many of the previous posters, I don't think it's necessarily gender related. I've recently seen some boys my dd's age that were clearly on a different plane than others around them. A couple are particularly verbal, which makes it more obvious even during a short conversation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erin Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 Girls often (but not always) tend to skew more verbal and boys more towards STEM. This has been my experience as well. Though I also agree with those who've pointed out the chattiness of the kid him/herself is also a factor. Bean is my quiet kid, while Buck tends to be the talker. Consequently, when he 9 and talking about his plan to build a submarine out of a propane barrel and the physics of what he needs to do to make that happen, people tended to notice... lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathnerd Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 You would never know that my DS is gifted if you see him with other kids (he has been tested and is very highly gifted and accelerated). He is highly verbal and highly mathy and highly musically talented. So, at a really young age, he learned that in order to not be alienated and to fit in, he needs to behave like those around him. He is highly social and has had his heart broken when other boys refused to play with him because he corrected their grammar, language and math in preK and K. These days, he is a goofball, acts immature and silly and uses wrong language syntax around other kids to fit in. But, when he is interacting with adults, or with other PG kids or when he is performing on stage or in a contest, he shines and people sit up and take notice. Funny thing is his 1st grade teacher thought that he was one of the average kids all year long because he did what he was told, never showed that he knew more than what was taught and had a few problems because of boredom in the classroom. He got up on stage at the school talent show and played a complex Beethoven piece with a lot of depth and emotion and he won the first prize for all elementary grades - now she writes me a note saying that she is so surprised at how talented he is and never guessed it all year long. Some gifted kids show their giftedness, some are unable to show their giftedness and some choose to hide it because they want to fit in with those around. Not all giftedness manifests itself through certain symptoms :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebunny Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 Interesting how children could be pegged as gifted or not according to normative behaviors. My daughter, whose personality does not conform to the hetero-normative behavior expected of her gender, stands out for being fidgety and hyperactive. To acquaintances and strangers, she is ' gifted with boundless energy' :D (ETA: She has been identified as highly gifted) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndOfOrdinary Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 My husband and I were talking about this the other day and he made an interesting comment about the culture of males. Apparently, men are supposed to "hang out." They do not do things together other than the usual suspects of culturally masculine behavior (video games, sports, fishing, poker, etc.). None of these activities are really designed to have anyone be good at them, or greatly excel, but more just as an excuse to interact. It is the basis of getting together. Dudes, apparently, do not like playing with you once you repeatedly show them up. As a result, you learn to not excel at any one thing. His largest frustration with the high school boys he teaches is for them to have a "thing." Anything they are really passionate about. He feels like indifference and idle interest are cultivated by the desire to fit in, posture, and not directly stand out socially. Being good at things is isolating. Girls, on the other hand, are taught to cultivate social relationships but then have their own interests which they hide. Interests are fine to be personal, since as females our social interactions generally revolve around dating or gaining social status through fashion and such. It is encouraged for girls to have interests to "fall back on" or to go to college so they can support themselves. Whether this has any basis at all, I cannot say. I will say girls are taught to be confident by having a sense of self not based on peers due to second and third wave feminism. Boys don't really have any of that. Our cultural examples for men tend to focus a bit on fart jokes, sexualizing women, video games, or obnoxious displays of prowess based on testosterone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerileanne99 Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Interesting how children could be pegged as gifted or not according to normative behaviors. My daughter, whose personality does not conform to the hetero-normative behavior expected of her gender, stands out for being fidgety and hyperactive. To acquaintances and strangers, she is ' gifted with boundless energy' :D (ETA: She has been identified as highly gifted) This sounds exactly like my child:) And she would not fit the stereotype either! She is incredibly social and verbal. We have a hard time getting through a grocery store or out of a hotel, lol, because she is busy speaking with everyone from random customers to bellhops. She has NO filter, and her language skills seem to draw people to her. I rarely make it through an encounter without a well-meaning comment on how amazing she is... BUT....her passion is math. Numbers, classifying everything from the cup of crayons in a restaurant to her huge collection of Schleich animal figurines to the laundry I am attempting to fold. When we read aloud I am only allowed the odd pages because she wants the evens. She looks for symmetry in everything. We were recently in Hawaii at the Disney Aulani resort where she had a fun-packed morning of play before asking to go up to the room to find her SM book. I think personality is the major difference. Her love is math and science, and she has not learned that societal norms seem to redirect that. Her verbal ability appears stunning primarily (IMHO) because she is so very vocal and social about it. And, as I said, she has seemingly no filter! She is very apt to bring up the most embarrassing of details: Tonight at the hotel we were in a pool and sat in a hot tub for a few moments. She enthusiastically began conversations with everyone...things like asking their age and then telling them exactly how much older/younger than her parents are common:) tonight she met a woman who was planning an 80th bday. She told the lady the year she was born it, the capital of the country in Europe she was born in, then told the woman that, in her estimation, the lady would live to be 21 more years to become a centenarian! At four, those verbal skills tend to demonstrate the extent of giftedness much more. That is NOT to say that it is tied to sex...just personality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThoughtfulMama Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 My DS (6) is that (kind of annoying) kid in the grocery store line who starts telling perfect strangers facts about unleaded gasoline (he loves Cosmos), or comets, or gila monsters, or whatever is on his mind that day. Everyone who has ever gotten to know him has mentioned that he is smart, bright, gifted, genius, going to President, going to save the world, etc. I'll be interested to see how baby sister develops and presents herself to the world. I don't know that it's as much a gender thing as a personality trait. I was so quiet and shy that casual meetings probably never left people with any impression of my giftedness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 It's hit and miss in this household. If someone were to carry on a conversation with my kids, I have had those familiar with gifted people identify my dd and/or my youngest but rarely my oldest. If people are just around when my kids are playing, they usually identify my oldest and not my other two. My dd is very verbal and my youngest speaks slowly but has a HUGE vocabulary for his age. My oldest has a hard time expressing himself verbally. When people watch my kids play though it's a different story. My youngest two tend to play like normal children their age (well, mostly) whereas my oldest spends most his time building robots, putting together complex puzzles, or reading science books (not anywhere close to his normal age level). When people watch them at all, they see the oldest as gifted. Really it depends on situation and the individual personalities. I don't think it has a lot to do with gender. In some ways girls do tend to be more verbal and do tend to mature earlier then the boys, but that isn't giftedness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 My ds and dd are within a point of each other in coginitive ability (both are very PG... I think I was very bad in a previous life). My ds stands out in a crowd as gifted. You would identify him after 7 seconds. My DD is, as a friend put it recently, as mad as a meat axe :-) She lives in a world of her own, would rather make up her own story than learn something new, and I doubt you would identify her as gifted until you knew her for a while. DS is the chess playing, book reading professor. DD is the dancing, creating, imagining dreamer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 My DD is the "in your face" kind of GT kid-she has a big vocabulary, lots of facts, and isn't afraid to use them. She's the kid who, when a substitute tumbling coach asks the kids to show off something they're good at, chooses to recite pi to 100 decimal places or solve mental math problems. She tends to hide behind a wall of being the "smart kid". It's only when she feels very safe that the imaginative dreamer comes out. And it's only when she feels really, really safe that she starts to act 9. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.