This next year will be super tough for me

[TravelingChris]

I think next year will be the toughest year ever for me in terms of stress and homeschooling.  Originally our hope was that my dh would be retiring in the summer of 2015, after our youngest graduated and I stopped homeschooling.  As it turns out, my dh is retiring from the military as of the first of June.  It looks like he will probably get a local job that pays well so at least that huge stress on me is lifting.  However, I still have so many others.

 

  I am the financial manager of our household and have been our entire married life.  Dh noticed how out of touch he was when he was trying to estimate how much taxes may be with his retirement income and estimated future work income.  He still thought the personal deduction was 3000.  Then he realized that the last time he did taxes, and that was still with my help, was when we were in college and not yet married - i.e. early 80's.  I have to do lots of catching up to do with regards to learning about many financial matters since so many things have changed and so many things will be new to us= like choosing which benefits to use and how much to put into a HSA.  Then there is the whole matter of 401Ks, which we never had to consider since he had a set retirement benefit.  But the companies he is interviewing with have matching funds up to a certain amount and this seems like a wise option to do.  But again, more research for me to figure out best strategies for investment and also to lessen taxation.  Because of my illnesses (bacterial pneumonia in mid Dec and not able to breathe fairly well until nearly March), and then my traumatic brain injury in late March, I was unable to do our taxes for 2013.  I somehow managed to figure out that we won't owe taxes so ended up doing an extension but I still have that massive headache.  And yes it is a headache because since I taught at the home school co-op, and even though I basically spent almost all the money on expenses, I have to file business forms too. 

 

Then I have to estimate how much taxes we should be paying this year when the tax laws are not even written yet for the federal taxes 2014.  It is all a guessing game as to whether they will stay the same, go up or go down.  I figure that that I should make sure we pay more than last year when dh gets that job but how much more is the guess. 
 

Then I have a wedding to help plan and execute for my older daughter who is planning to wed in mid-late Dec.  Of course, since I am the counselor of a senior at that point, I may also have to be doing all sorts of garbage at that time with the Common Application or what not.  And don't forget that Christmas is at that time plus my dh's birthday and my youngest's 18th birthday. 

 

So I have a lot on my plate including all three of my pets have chronic conditions along with many for me, a few for my youngest, and a still undiagnosed serious condition for my older dd.  Even my dh is jumping into the bandwagon of sick people as he is currently having blood tests and soon a sleep study as to why he stopped breathing a few times during his recovery period after his colonoscopy.  (He doesn';t snore and I couldn't even tell that he had stopped breathing except for the loud alarm that went off). 

 

I have already done a few things to help my recovery (it took many weeks for me to be mostly normal after the MTBI)  and to make sure I don't add any more to my plate.  I decided I will  not help with VBS this year as I have for most years in the last 18.  I am also not going to teach at co-op next year.  My dd has a car and will be able to get there herself and that not only opens up a day for me but takes away so many hours of planning,correcting, reteaching, etc.  But finding out who will teach her various subjects (CC?, online class?, self taught?, me?) and what exactly  I will have to teach her this summer and next year is still up in the air.

 

Any suggestions for how to make any of this easier?

[plansrme]

An accountant. Two paragraphs' worth of stress gone, right there. Postpone 401(k) participation until next year.

[ErinE]

An accountant. Two paragraphs' worth of stress gone, right there. Postpone 401(k) participation until next year.

Get an accountant but please don't postpone 401k participation. I'm not a financial advisor, but if it were me, I'd contribute as much as I can, at least up to the company match. Many 401k accounts now have target date funds (ie target date for retirement is 2015, 2020, etc.) so you don't have to think about the proper asset mix. If you don't contribute, you're essentially forgoing a portion of the compensation the company is offering you.

[fairfarmhand]

An accountant. Two paragraphs' worth of stress gone, right there. Postpone 401(k) participation until next year.

 

That was easy, wasn't it?

 

You guys have a complicated life right now. Won't it be worth the money to let someone else handle the financial stuff for at least a year?

[Wildcat]

Oh, sweetie! :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

Congrats on your dh's job search. It sounds promising. I know it's earlier than you had expected, but I believe it will be a positive for you.

 

You asked for ideas on making things easier, so here is what I would do:

 

Above all else, I would focus on my health. I missed where you had a brain injury (so sorry to hear that and I hope you are recovering well), but I am familiar with your health struggles and those of your oldest dd. The top priority is to take care of yourself.

 

1. Accountant for the finances. He/she should be able to help you in guesstimating this year's payments, as well. 

 

2. 401K --- since you mentioned you want to lessen your tax burden, contribute the max you can (even after company match stops) until you have time to catch your breath and learn. If your dh is at least 50 (or is turning 50 at any time this year), you can make an extra 'catch up' deduction, which is a before-tax break.

 

3. wedding--- keep it simple or offer cash up front and let your dd handle it. She can spend it on a one day, multi-hour event or she and her new hubby can put it in a house fund. (congrats on the upcoming wedding, by the way). You can still be there for her to bounce ideas off of, but leave the stress to someone else.

 

4. your senior---- she can drive to co-op classes, do online, or take them at the CC, as you said. Many CCs are registering now for fall, so call and get info, even if you don't end up needing it, in case classes fill up. Unless you have a burning desire to teach her something, outsource it. She can do independent work, but you need to be as hands off as possible. You can still be there and be involved, but without the stress. Also, when ds was a senior I avoided common app schools like the plague---- the schools he applied to were good state schools, but not upper level ones. I found it way more relaxing for my ds to apply to schools the 'regular way'. The common app seems to ask for a lot of info that many schools don't even want, and if there is one thing I have learned over the years by reading common app threads is that formatting everything 'just so' is a PITA. If this is an option for you/your dd, take it. On the one hand, the common app makes things easier, but for most schools, a simple application and transcript is all they want, which makes the common app stuff incredibly tedious. 

 

5. VBS--- you chose wisely. Let someone else handle it. You can always be a volunteer-at-large but hand over the heavy planning to others. You can also help whoever does the job you used to do via phone and/or e-mail.

 

You need to take care of yourself and your family (to include hubby, kids, and pets). You have been going full-tilt for as far back as I can remember, and it's time to rest. Life will go on. Weddings will happen (both big and small), kids will graduate, and the stock market will go up and down. Take the time to rest, focus on the health of your family, get going in a fund with a target date (mentioned by ErinE), and take the time to learn how it all works and when you figure it out, come back and let the rest of us know. :tongue_smilie: The biggie to remember is "time is money", so get something started on the 401K and you can adjust to your heart's content. Also, since it's the middle of the year, if you want that maximum tax break (I believe the difference for the over 50 folks is about $5,500, so it adds up), you will be contributing more each month now than you will be next year when you can spread it out over the full 12 months.

 

If you need help planning your dd's year next year, come back and ask for help/ideas.

 

Here are some more :grouphug: :grouphug:.

[kitten18]

I completely agree with getting the advice of an accountant.  Taxed are VERY complicated, I know many people who pay far more taxes than they owe every year because they're trying to save money by doing it themselves.

[zoobie]

An accountant. Two paragraphs' worth of stress gone, right there. Postpone 401(k) participation until next year.

I would get the accountant and ask him/her to figure 401K contribution to maximize tax benefits. CPA fees are usually tax deductible too!

[FaithManor]

Keep the wedding simple. There are ways to do a gorgoeus wedding without a lot of effort because she chose December. Pick venues that already have elegant decorations up and hire a caterer that will provide white tablecloths and napkins which are perfect for a wintery, Christmas theme.

 

I am a professional event planner and would be happy to help you plan for free. I can't do the leg work of coordinating it from here, but I can give you imput and ideas and let you know when you are getting reasonable estimates from vendors and when you are being quoted too high.

 

Just PM me. However, I do hope you already have a reception site on contract because Dec. is a hugely busy time and many venues are booked two years in advance.

[Denise in Florida]

You have already received some great advice.

 

I just want to make a quick suggestion about the wedding.  Do you have any family members (aunt, sister, cousin, mil) who would be willing to be a wedding coach?  Maybe even the groom's mom if your daughter is comfortable with her.

 

I was asked to be wedding day coordinator (talking to vendors, arranging rides, hauling flowers from one venue to another) for my niece. I was flattered to be asked and had a great time.  My sister (bride's mother) was able to help the bride with her last minute hair/makeup/dress preparations since I was taking care of the location work.  

 

I don't know if this would work with the other issues, but sometimes just pulling a few specific tasks out of the pile and asking for help can whittle the issues down to manageable size.

[Twigs]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[FloridaLisa]

An accountant. Two paragraphs' worth of stress gone, right there. Postpone 401(k) participation until next year.

 

Completely agree. 

 

Concentrate on 1) feeling better; 2) your senior and 3) your dd and her wedding. 

 

Lisa

[Aiden]

Oh, sweetie! :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

Congrats on your dh's job search. It sounds promising. I know it's earlier than you had expected, but I believe it will be a positive for you.

 

You asked for ideas on making things easier, so here is what I would do:

 

Above all else, I would focus on my health. I missed where you had a brain injury (so sorry to hear that and I hope you are recovering well), but I am familiar with your health struggles and those of your oldest dd. The top priority is to take care of yourself.

 

1. Accountant for the finances. He/she should be able to help you in guesstimating this year's payments, as well. 

 

2. 401K --- since you mentioned you want to lessen your tax burden, contribute the max you can (even after company match stops) until you have time to catch your breath and learn. If your dh is at least 50 (or is turning 50 at any time this year), you can make an extra 'catch up' deduction, which is a before-tax break.

 

3. wedding--- keep it simple or offer cash up front and let your dd handle it. She can spend it on a one day, multi-hour event or she and her new hubby can put it in a house fund. (congrats on the upcoming wedding, by the way). You can still be there for her to bounce ideas off of, but leave the stress to someone else.

 

4. your senior---- she can drive to co-op classes, do online, or take them at the CC, as you said. Many CCs are registering now for fall, so call and get info, even if you don't end up needing it, in case classes fill up. Unless you have a burning desire to teach her something, outsource it. She can do independent work, but you need to be as hands off as possible. You can still be there and be involved, but without the stress. Also, when ds was a senior I avoided common app schools like the plague---- the schools he applied to were good state schools, but not upper level ones. I found it way more relaxing for my ds to apply to schools the 'regular way'. The common app seems to ask for a lot of info that many schools don't even want, and if there is one thing I have learned over the years by reading common app threads is that formatting everything 'just so' is a PITA. If this is an option for you/your dd, take it. On the one hand, the common app makes things easier, but for most schools, a simple application and transcript is all they want, which makes the common app stuff incredibly tedious. 

 

5. VBS--- you chose wisely. Let someone else handle it. You can always be a volunteer-at-large but hand over the heavy planning to others. You can also help whoever does the job you used to do via phone and/or e-mail.

 

You need to take care of yourself and your family (to include hubby, kids, and pets). You have been going full-tilt for as far back as I can remember, and it's time to rest. Life will go on. Weddings will happen (both big and small), kids will graduate, and the stock market will go up and down. Take the time to rest, focus on the health of your family, get going in a fund with a target date (mentioned by ErinE), and take the time to learn how it all works and when you figure it out, come back and let the rest of us know. :tongue_smilie: The biggie to remember is "time is money", so get something started on the 401K and you can adjust to your heart's content. Also, since it's the middle of the year, if you want that maximum tax break (I believe the difference for the over 50 folks is about $5,500, so it adds up), you will be contributing more each month now than you will be next year when you can spread it out over the full 12 months.

 

If you need help planning your dd's year next year, come back and ask for help/ideas.

 

Here are some more :grouphug: :grouphug:.

 

:iagree: :hurray:   This. A million times this.

 

[JuanitaL]

Has your husband gone through all of the retirement classes the military offers? (We're 3+ years out and I can't remember what they're actually called.) There's a lot of good, practical, useful information there that he can access during his duty day.

[Lanny]

Regarding your U.S. Federal Income tax return (and a state return if you need to file one) I use and highly recommend the TaxAct service. It has ALL of the forms that can be filed electronically with the I.R.S., in the basic price. Other companies charge much more, for all but the most basic returns.

 

You can click, as I did yesterday, to see if one option is better than another, and in one minute or less, you see the tax consequences, if any, of doing something differently.

 

TaxAct also has help for preparing the FAFSA form.

 

If you sign up the year before, there is a discount (20%?) when you pay for that year when you complete your tax return. I saved $2 this year and will save $3 next year, by doing that.  :-)

 

Good luck to your DH with his new job and to you with the medical issues.

[Elisabet1]

(((hugs))))

[Crimson Wife]

{{{hugs}}}

 

Estimating taxes due when your life is in flux is a total pain. We've wound up getting largish refunds every single year for the past 5 or 6 years because we managed to miscalculate the withholdings. Some of it is unavoidable (if you switch a job mid-year, the government will take out double Social Security and there's no legal way we've found to avoid that). But others were things like we decided one November to re-fi our mortgage and to get the best rate, we chose to pre-pay some points. That threw off our calculations and caused our refund to go up.

 

In terms of the 401k, I would put in whatever gets you the match and then just stick it in a targeted date fund. DH actively manages his 401k (he was just grumbling over the weekend about some small cap value fund that has tanked recently) but he works in finance so he's got the interest and skills to keep on top of all that. He rolls his eyes at my IRA being in a targeted date fund but I don't want to worry about it.

[TravelingChris]

Thanks for all the advice and support.  THe stupidest thing was that I was well into doing the taxes that were supposed to be done APril 15th and then came the MTBI.  I never had a brain injury before and I had no idea how much it really affects you.  I wasn't supposed to be doing much reading or thinking for weeks to give my brain a rest.  I am still not all the way back but it is really weird how it plays out. It isn't that I am forgetting so much anymore but more like my memory is there but hazy and it doesn't feel as sure to me as it did before.  But when I check on things that are this fuzzy memory, it turns out that they are things I did do or did hear.  So I am slowly easing back into doing the things I need to do to get the taxes done= not things the accountant could do anyway- things like figure out which drawer or box I put the charitable contribution receipts type of thing.  I know I was incredibly cautious to make sure I did not make a mess of the documents but I did a lot of work today on getting our records caught up and I will look for things tomorrow.

 

Thanks all.

[G5052]

Yes, get an accountant.  

 

I've always done ours.  Even when I consulted a top-notch CPA on an issue that came up after I had filed, she advised me to keep doing our taxes because she couldn't improve upon anything.  She did review everything though and confirmed my assumptions.  Peace of mind!

 

If we have any major changes though, I'll probably have a basic level accountant do them again though for a year or two.  Well worth it if you feel uneasy.

[creekland]

It might help to remember some of my dad's sage advice that I will always treasure.

 

"When life is getting tough, remember the basics.  Keep breathing and keep walking.  Sooner or later you'll end up through it all and it'll have been easier than if you'd gotten sidetracked worrying about all the "what ifs."

 

It sounds corny, I suppose, and can be a little "off" when one can't keep walking, but the intent is something I've remembered since my teens - and still find myself remembering when my brain starts to go off the deep end.  Dad probably never knew that a simple statement could be remembered for so long. 

 

Otherwise, I agree with the advice you've been given regarding an accountant, etc.

[Alessandra]

It might help to remember some of my dad's sage advice that I will always treasure.

 

"When life is getting tough, remember the basics. Keep breathing and keep walking. Sooner or later you'll end up through it all and it'll have been easier than if you'd gotten sidetracked worrying about all the "what ifs."

 

It sounds corny, I suppose, and can be a little "off" when one can't keep walking, but the intent is something I've remembered since my teens - and still find myself remembering when my brain starts to go off the deep end. Dad probably never knew that a simple statement could be remembered for so long.

 

Otherwise, I agree with the advice you've been given regarding an accountant, etc.

Your dad sounds like a wise man. And actually, you don't sound so bad yourself!