Stratford Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Background. So my just-turned 4 year old is a picky eater. His list of foods he will eat has been dwindling over the past 2 years....as an infant and young toddler, he ate anything and everything. Currently he is down to a small handful of foods and is still eliminating things he will eat. We continue to offer foods and he refuses nearly everything. He eats no fruits, no vegetables, he recently eliminated bread and pasta (former staples of his diet) and currently eats chicken nuggets and pediasure almost exclusively, and not in great quantities. He is growing more slowly (his ht/wt percentiles have dropped; he used to stay in the 75% for both, now he's in the 30%.) He is pale, his hair is thinner. He gets tired going on walks and wants to be carried after a block. I am rather concerned. And we've tried a lot of things and it's just getting worse. And every time I've brought it up to the pediatrician, they blow me off. "Oh, it's just a phase." "Don't make a big deal about it, he'll grow out of it." "If he's hungry enough, he'll eat." "Look, he gained weight in the past year, he's growing! Don't worry!" So he had a check up last week, and mentioned my concerns again and asked for advice. The pediatrician said, "Well, it may be that he has oppositional defiant disorder and this is a power issue." Huh? Really? My pleasant, cooperative 4 year old that happily gets along with everyone at home and does beautifully in preschool and follows the rules and is cute and sweet and just happens to be afraid of all foods? What? I'm so irritated. I was hoping for something a little more helpful. Like allergy testing, or blood work to check anemia or whatnot, or a feeding clinic referral. Or a book recommendation I haven't read yet. Or maybe just validation that yes, this is abnormal and it's okay to be concerned. Anything useful! So I called the pediatrician's office today and asked for a feeding clinic referral. I would have made an appointment myself, but I do need an order. We will see. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm just frustrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Wtf? ODD because your kid is a super picky eater? I'm sorry, but I think your ped is a moron. I'd find a new ped and rule out any sensory issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Time for a new ped. One who listens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 ODD what? That's so much less likely than a sensory issue! Did they go to the Sally Struthers correspondence school of medicine? Get your referral and get a new ped! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkyandtheBrains. Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 My picky eater had sensory issues that became more pronounced by age 4/5. Our pediatrician suggest we keep giving him whole milk and something like pediasure to make sure he was at least getting the calories he needed. Not all kids eat when the get hungry enough, some will just not eat. At 14 ds now eats most foods but it was a long road. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I just want to offer you a bit of a light. My son was an extremely picky eater at that age. He had oral motor issues etc etc. And my own opposition to his behavior caused some problems as well. He was 4 when things on his already small list started getting crossed off. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I cried. I had people make nasty and unhelpful comments. My in-laws judged me and made snotty comments. it gets better. I found a meal I could make him for dinner that I didn't mind making: cream cheese and jelly sandwich, bowl of plain yogurt, piece of fruit he would eat. If he didn't want dinner (which was all the time) then he would happily eat that. I brought that to thanksgiving dinners at my sister's house, I brought that everywhere. If my FIL had a comment to make about spoiled children I just glared at him. Slowly, slowly it got better. Is it perfect? Nope. I occasionally still need to bring a sandwich and a container of yogurt to family gatherings. But as he has gotten older he has become more able to talk to us about what he likes and what he doesn't. For example, at 9 I now understand that he seems to have super sensitive taste buds. Things often taste overwhelmingly strong to him. No wonder he is cautious about trying things. That is just one of the issues he has with food, but it was a big one. But, hang in there and don't take it as a reflection upon your parenting or upon your kid. It is super stressful, I completely understand. I know what it is like to cry because, "what do you mean you won't eat potato? You ate potato last week! Just eat the &((&* potato!" (I lost it on the potato issue and am not proud of myself. It ended up causing more problems than it was ever worth." Just get through these years with a minimum of stress about it. You do what you need to do to get through it in a good way and to heck with anyone's judgement of you or your kid. It will get better. He will get older. He will be able to communicate more and you might learn a few things when he can express himself better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I agree that you need to fire the pediatrician and look into sensory issues. My sensory kid became a super picky eater during his preschool years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenneinCA Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Can you get a referral to an occupational therapist? That would be where I would start. Actually that was were we did start. My oldest was and still is very very picky about food. She completely avoids certain textures and favors. It has gotten better with time, but the OT was very helpful in explaining that it was not a parenting problem it was a sensory issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 New pediatrician. Definitely Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cammie Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I posted a few days ago about some recent changes with my super picky eater - so I know what you are going through. Mine was down to peanut butter, nutella, wheat bread, chapatis, pizza, chicken, grilled cheese sandwiches for a while! I have had to take food with us ALL THE TIME as I could never expect him to eat what we ate. He also has a lovely disposition. But when it came to food it was very clear that he was NOT GOING TO EAT IT (whatever it was.) Now, he never had low energy so I took things a little easier than I might have. We did the rounds of gastro, ped, endo, etc at about 5 years old. Then let things rest for a while. Didn't push food. For a while the only fruit was juice and vegetables.... tomato sauce on pizza! But recently, very recently, for no external reason, things have changed. New foods are going in. Haven't had to make his standard dinner in a few weeks (and he used to have it every night...for years.) Trust your mama instincts if you do think there is a problem. However, I also suggest listening to your little guy and trying to work within his limits at the moment (as long as he is not making himself sick.) Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stratford Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking my ped is off base. It's easy to lose perspective. It's a large practice and there are a small handful of docs that I really do like and trust; I think I'll have to start being very selective when scheduling appointments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Background. So my just-turned 4 year old is a picky eater. His list of foods he will eat has been dwindling over the past 2 years....as an infant and young toddler, he ate anything and everything. Currently he is down to a small handful of foods and is still eliminating things he will eat. We continue to offer foods and he refuses nearly everything. He eats no fruits, no vegetables, he recently eliminated bread and pasta (former staples of his diet) and currently eats chicken nuggets and pediasure almost exclusively, and not in great quantities. He is growing more slowly (his ht/wt percentiles have dropped; he used to stay in the 75% for both, now he's in the 30%.) He is pale, his hair is thinner. He gets tired going on walks and wants to be carried after a block. I am rather concerned. And we've tried a lot of things and it's just getting worse. And every time I've brought it up to the pediatrician, they blow me off. "Oh, it's just a phase." "Don't make a big deal about it, he'll grow out of it." "If he's hungry enough, he'll eat." "Look, he gained weight in the past year, he's growing! Don't worry!" So he had a check up last week, and mentioned my concerns again and asked for advice. The pediatrician said, "Well, it may be that he has oppositional defiant disorder and this is a power issue." Huh? Really? My pleasant, cooperative 4 year old that happily gets along with everyone at home and does beautifully in preschool and follows the rules and is cute and sweet and just happens to be afraid of all foods? What? I'm so irritated. I was hoping for something a little more helpful. Like allergy testing, or blood work to check anemia or whatnot, or a feeding clinic referral. Or a book recommendation I haven't read yet. Or maybe just validation that yes, this is abnormal and it's okay to be concerned. Anything useful! So I called the pediatrician's office today and asked for a feeding clinic referral. I would have made an appointment myself, but I do need an order. We will see. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm just frustrated. Get him to another doc... doesn't even have to be a ped. Could be a FP, but demand blood work to start. The tired, pale, thinning hair is worrisome. Do not go back to that ped! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stratford Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 The feeding clinic would be a team of OT, SLP, and a nutritionist. Hoping they can get him scheduled. He currently eats crackers (2 brands), chicken nuggets, and chocolate pediasure. That's. It. He does take a multivitamin. Until recently, he also would eat pasta (plain), homemade mac & cheese, and bread. He hasn't had a fruit or vegetable (in any form, including juice or sauce) in months. He used to eat those applesauce squeezie pouches (one brand only) until that brand changed lids. Now he won't touch them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerileanne99 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Definitely a new pediatrician! I have an extremely picky 4 yr old. In fact, there are a total of about 10 foods that she will actually eat. Absolutely everything except an occasional veggie substitute product must be absolutely plain. Plain rice, plain pasta, ONE single type of bread she will occasionally take a bite of. She will eat PB, but not on anything. She will only eat raspberries and blueberries and the SKIN?! ! Of red apples. On top of everything else she is allergic to dairy and we are vegetarian. (I do insist that it will be her choice, and believe me, if I thought it would make a difference I would catch a cow myself) The only thing that saves her is the fact that she LOVES that toddler baby formula, ugh! Grosses me out, but we see a pediatric nutritionist and keep a food journal. The nutritionist swears it is just about perfect for her, so we muddle on...and pay a fortune for it:( We do really encourage that she try the tiniest bite of SOMETHING off the table, her choice, and she doesn't even have to swallow it. If she does, she gets a single chocolate chip after dinner. I just refuse to make it a battle, but argh! Every time she decides she won't eat yet another food she did before I want to scream. And yes, we take food everywhere. We haven't even been able to visit family in England for the last few years because she just won't eat! I highly recommend a pediatric nutritionist and starting a food journal immediately so you will have something definitive to show them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I think you're on the right track with the referral. And it is hard in multi-doctor practices, especially when Dr. Jerkface has the openings and the doctors you like are more difficult to get in to see. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I think you are right to be concerned. I know a kid who has eaten only a specific brand of pb and a specific brand of white bread for a long time, actually, forever, from toddlerhood to now (6th grade). He also has milk and ice cream. He is happy, very bright and does superbly in school, has lots of friends, but has not grown much. He has had extensive testing and therapy. The best guess has been that it is about control. Apparently, some kids who are fine in everything else express themselves through good. Don't ask me go explain, as I find it utterly incomprehensible. So I would keep an open mind to what your ped said, even though he may not be a good match for you ultimately. I agree that an evaluation by doctors and therapists in a variety of specialities is the way to go. That is always what my ped recommends -- she says that each speciality will have a slightly different take on the situation. Having the evaluation done in a setting where the specialists can observe together and discuss together is better than going from one to another with a written report in your hand. Oh, and specialist includes therapists and psychologists as well as medical doctors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Another parent of a picky eater with sensory issues. My pediatrician always takes a close look at how my son is doing when we discuss his diet. Is he growing well? sleeps well? happy and overall healthy? And then helps us address it. Right now he drinks pediasure every day to get the vitamins but he also IS growing, sleeping and healthy overall. I think your pediatrician should be taking it much more seriously given the other factors you mentioned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stratford Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 You know, I love this board because you folks give level-headed, intelligent advice. I have a difficult time keeping perspective on this issue (gee whiz, eating is important!) I appreciate your kind words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I just want to clarify that I did not mean to imply that you should ignore concerns about actual nutrition. I was more wanting to stress that you do what you need to do to make this better for your kid. If it means getting a good eval or whatever, then do it and let other people deal with their own issues about it. And that you know your kids best. And FTR, I am not sure that a ped is even qualified to make a diagnosis of ODD. Not that ever stopped any doctor anywhere, but I think he has gone outside of his field. For example, I don't think insurance would pay for treatment of a diagnosis of ODD by a ped. It isn't a diagnosis you make off the top of your head. And, as someone mentioned up thread, my GP looked at my son's 'finickiness' from a medical perspective. My son was growing well, he had no digestive complaints, he was a good sleeper and had tons of energy and had no behaviour concerns except for being picky. This was something he watched anyway because my older boy (a 'perfect' eater) had lots of problems with anemia when he was a toddler. But, because he stayed with his 'area' he was actually useful to me. He was very reassuring when it came to my fears, went out of his way to show me that my son was typical in most ways. It was helpful. And he never doubted me or dismissed me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Yes, it is annoying when 'people' say "Don't worry a child won't starve themselves". At one point I got so desperate I even turned in a WIC application even though I knew I didn't qualify just so that I could talk to a pediatric nutritionist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 He currently eats crackers (2 brands), chicken nuggets, and chocolate pediasure. That's. It. He does take a multivitamin. . I thought my extremely picky child was picky. I'll remember this next time I get frustrated with him. I hope you are able to get the help he needs and he's able to add more food to his lineup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Offering a "ODD" diagnosis is highly irresponsible! If I did it with the info presented, it would be unethical. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeschoolingWithLove Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 My seventeen-year-old son had the same food issues when he was little. We did go to feeding therapy and it was very helpful. What they did was encourage him to smell one food at a time. If it smelled okay then he was encouraged to lick it. If that went well he would take a bite if he wanted to. This process really helped him try new foods. I would also let him pick out five new foods each week when we were grocery shopping, we repeated the process at home. Now my son eats all kinds of foods and isn't opposed to trying new ones. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 My son who is 10 did exactly what yours is doing without looking pale. He ate well as a toddler and then it dwindled. Thankfully we were at Costco one evening and I forgot to pack "his" foods when he was 3.5 yrs. and he hungrily ate the pizza. Or he wouldn't even eat pizza. He's never had chocolate. Won't eat most cookies. Won't touch chips. Thankfully he loves smoothies. We switched to whole milk. I get as many calories in as you can because I now think he's an inch shorter than his twin because of his eating. Also, I now know that he's somewhere on the spectrum and I think the eating issues are show one symptom. At least for my son. I found peds to be no help too. Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkyandtheBrains. Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 You might be able to give food chaining a try in the meantime. My son would only eat one kind of chicken nugget. We started only calling them nuggets. Then we bought different shaped nuggets of same brand. Then we moved to a new brand. After that we tried vegan nuggets that looked the same. Once we had him eating different shapes and slightly different tasting (chicken) nuggets we moved to fish nuggets/sticks and so on. It was a slow process but we got him eating all kinds of "nuggets" that way. You could easily do chaining with crackers too. We had success chaining grilled cheese into cheese quesadillas and eventually adding chicken. We tried chaining milk to soy, almond and others to broaden acceptable tastes but it didn't work. Chaining mac and cheese didn't work. Again it was a very slow process. But at 14 he will eat almost anything I make including most vegetables too. * typing on phone sorry if any weird typos Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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