Homeschooling: lots of thoughts, not sure where this goes...please help

[khanna123]

Hi everyone,

  I am new to this community but am learning a lot already. Thank you!   We have 6 kids--5th grade down to 4K.  All have been in a Christian school up until this year. We brought our oldest home (5th grade) after the first 9 weeks.  It was rough, the workload was unbearable on him and me.  I was doing so much reteaching that it has been such a blessing to bring him home and we are done by 1pm everyday.  He is doing BJU DVD mainly but I do teach him some if needed and/or to speed things along since the DVD's can be long.

 

 We (DH and I) have researched homeschooling soooo much throughout the past few years.  We have prayed about it and never felt God saying, Do this now.  However, it did become clear with our son that the current situation at school was not in his best interest or our family as a whole.

 

Now, we are dealing with several social issues with our 4th grader and our 3rd grader.  My 4th grader now knows every bad word in the book and some of his classmates are struggling with pornography.  To my knowledge, my son has not viewed it but I cannot be sure. Yes, this is a Christian school but we all know that does't mean perfect.  We have many kids that come from non-Christian homes but their parents or grandparents just want a better education. Our ps around here are rough.

 

My 3rd grader is dealing with lots of "mean girl" issues at school.  The girls in this 3rd grade class are unreal. I have never seen such, I don't even know how to describe it:  meanness, acting like they are 23, bickering, ect.... it is rough. 

 

So, given this, we plan to bring home our 4th and 3rd grader. So that means 3 kids at home but what do we do with the younger 3?  I will have 2 in 2nd grade and a K5.  I am scared to death to educate all 6.  It is a lot.  I am a Christian and I NEED God to make this clear to me.  I know with Him, I can do all things, this just seems soo BIG.

 

If the younger 3 go to school, we will be split.  Which I can handle, I don't like it, as I see how hard it is even now with one at home but I could deal with it.  The main thing I hate is the cost: It will be $10K to send my younger 3 to school and I KNOW it would be a fraction of the cost if I educated them at home. Plus, I feel like they will be left out. Ya know?  Ugh.  I just don't know what to do.

 

I do plan to stick with BJU DVD for my older 3.  IF I brought home my younger ones I would do DVD with 2nd grade but probably end up teaching them most of it myself as it is faster.

 

Does anyone have any wisdom on all of this?  I know you can't make my decision for me, but I feel so overwhelmed.  I also feel like I do is research homeschool stuff/topics. I think I need to step back and take a break.  Thanks for listening. 

Kim

ETA:  I don't mean to come off "better than" about the school and the kids there.  I am not better than.  Not at all. We are all human.  But I am trying to equip  my kids to maneuver thru this tough world.  They need their armor on.  Unfortunately, my kids are not mature enough yet to say NO to a lot of what is going on.  They tend to be people pleasers (like me ugh).  I hope to help them to learn not to be that way and to take a stand. 

[mazakaal]

Well, as you said, you really need God to make it clear to you what He wants you to do. My own opinion is that you might want to try just home educating the oldest three for the end of this school year to get yourself used to it. Then you could begin teaching the younger ones at home next year. I think it may be a bit of a shock to you to jump right in with 6 at home all at once, especially given their ages. And as long as they're happy at school, they will be fine there for the rest of the year until you're settled into a routine with the older ones.

 

Of course, that's just my $.02. I'm sure that God will show you what His plan is for you.

[busymama7]

With kids as close together as yours are you would have a much better time with group teaching as many subjects as possible. There is no way to keep up that many grades with everyone doing their own science history etc. it would make you crazy. There are ther ways that would be doable for you and all inclusive for the family.

[khanna123]

Thank you to both of you for your responses. I have thought of doing SOTW for history and Apologia for Science so we can all do those 2 subjects together.  Then have them do their own for Math, English, Spelling and Reading probably through BJU.  I guess it is just such a big leap for all 6. My DH is fine with keeping the younger 3 at the Christian school next year and letting me get on my feet with the older 3 kids.  I just don't like feeling split (half home and half at school) and I can't stand the thought of paying $10K for the younger 3. BUT if that helps me to get a good footing with the older 3 and then the next year bring the younger 3 home--then maybe it is worth the cost? I want this to be successful. I just don't know.

[mom2scouts]

Only you can decide what will work best for your family, but in your position I would start homeschooling the older three now and bring the rest of them home next fall.  Since they are close in age, you will be able to combine them for several subjects and then require less/more as necessary.  You will have the summer to research curriculum that you can use with a wider age group and you can buy tons of curriculum for far less than 10K.

[Mom0012]

I would probably start by adding the 4th and 3rd grader and see how things go before pulling everyone out. My goal would be to bring all the kids home, but I think it is a huge undertaking to homeschool that many children, especially when you haven't done it from the beginning. Can you pull whichever child needs you the most from school now and then start working with another once you've found your groove working with the first two? Then, if all is good, keep the others home next fall.

[mom@shiloh]

We had this type of situation 'once upon a time'  long ago when we made the leap to begin homeschooling.  We pulled them all out at once and I never regretted it.  We had five children at the time, ages 4-12.  Your kids are still very young, so even if you bring them all home and the only things you can get accomplished are math and LA, consider it good.  History and science and all the other extras are great, and the most fun part of homeschooling for me, but they can wait a year or so while you establish a good routine.  I think it's really hard to have some kids at home and try to keep up with activities at school for the other kids.  

 

My .02.

[Susan C.]

IF you want them in school, you could do a trial run at public. It doesn't sound like they could be exposed to any more than they already have..... Speaking softly.... you might get more "normal" at public. That has been what I have heard anyway...

 

If you want them at home, you have my best wishes! My experience with BJU is that its a lot of work. We did one year with ds, it took all day to watch the tapes, then we still had the work to do. It is excellent material. Just be the leader, rather than let the tapes rule. Use it as a tool to help you and skip what you want to, do book work together rather than tapes when you want, and watch when you want.

[AK_Mom4]

There is nothing wrong with different educational solutions for different children.  We started homeschooling with DS18 when he was a fifth grader and having a really rough time.  We pulled him out and left the other three in school.  At the end of the first year, we ended up homeschooling the youngest, so that year I had a 2nd and a sixth grader, with the older two at the public school.  DS went back to public school in high school but oldest DD decided to home school her senior year.  Now DS18 is back at home again, so I have a senior and a 7th grader. 

 

I think it's a fine idea to leave the younger ones at school until you get a good routine in place for the older ones.

[OneStepAtATime]

You might look at something like Trail Guides to Learning, since it is something designed to be taught to multiple age levels and covers all subjects but math.  (Science, Grammar, Writing, History, Dictation, cooking, Social Studies, etc., etc.) and can be taught to everyone at the same time, for the most part.  It takes a bit to get used to the system, but the Teacher's Manual guides you through everything and there is an active support group on Yahoo.  Also, you could look at some of the blogs of the women who use this system.  Kris of Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers has a good one.  

 

You would need to start with TGTL Paths of Exploration.  It is designed for 3-5th grade, but they have ways to adapt it for 1st, 2nd and 6th/7th grade.  The next level would go up to 4th-6th, but be adaptable up and down as well.  Check out the website and see if it might interest you.  I agree with others, though, you might want to just bring home the older three first, then spend the summer planning for everyone to come home.

[khanna123]

Thank you to all of you for your replies.  You have given me a lot to think about.  I appreciate all of your thoughtful responses!  It is a tough decision but I pray God will give us wisdom. Thank you again!

[OneStepAtATime]

Thank you to all of you for your replies.  You have given me a lot to think about.  I appreciate all of your thoughtful responses!  It is a tough decision but I pray God will give us wisdom. Thank you again!

Good luck and best wishes to you and your family.

[LucyStoner]

I would also consider different schools for the younger kids. It sounds like the school you have used is pretty dysfunctional.

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

You could use some of the $ you would have spent for school for help cleaning, cooking, tutoring, online classes, mother's helper, etc. if you bring them all home. If you try to go from nothing to 6 at once without help it might be too much but with help could be possible.

 

I will pray for you.

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:

 

You could use some of the $ you would have spent for school for help cleaning, cooking, tutoring, online classes, mother's helper, etc. if you bring them all home. If you try to go from nothing to 6 at once without help it might be too much but with help could be possible.

 

I will pray for you.

Wow, yes, the private school money could be used to hire someone to come in and help.  Maybe even a homeschooled teenager looking to earn extra income that could help with schooling the younger kids?  And help some with keeping up with housework?

[scootiepie]

For me, it would depend on whether the youngers are getting a good solid foundation on the fundamentals at school (i.e., reading, math).    If you are OK there, and there are no other problems, why not let them stay another year or two until you figure out the homeschooling?     You can bring them home anytime.    I have to say, I'm all for letting someone else teach the C-A-T and taking it from there.  

[khanna123]

Yes, I had considered taking the extra money saved from not paying so much school tuition and having a teenage homeschool girl helper for my K5 and also having someone clean twice a month.  With BJU, SOTW and Apologia we would still pay about 5K in education costs for 6 kids. We would have paid about 12K for them all to go to the Christian school.  But, I could easily afford some help with the savings.

 

 What is C A T?  Sorry, I am trying to learn all the abbreviations!  :)  My youngers are getting a good education in Math/English/phonics/reading etc....  I will say, BJU is a slow start to reading. My older kids did Abeka--they were reading simple sentence by middle of 4K.  My current 4Ker is having some difficulty recognizing some of his letters--he is very smart--but the curriculum is s l o w at this age.  BUT, I have read that that is OK and we need to let them be kids too.  Now my 1st graders seem to be about where my Abeka 1st grade was at this time  (middle of 1st) so they do catch up--but it was a slower start. 

 

The main reason for bringing home our 4th and 3rd grader is social issues.  My 5th grader was social and his academics ( some on his part some the teachers).  My youngers are OK at this time so I could leave them for another year and get my footing with homeschooling AND figure out more with curriculum.

 

I seem to be so backwards.  Most of the people I know, chose to homeschool younger kids, then sent them to school around 5th grade and on.  I let them go even 2K and up, now I am brining them home when I see all these social issues they are dealing with!  I do know others do this too, but it seems more the norm to start out homeschooling--am I wrong in how I am thinking of this? I guess each family has its own unique story.

 

There is a part of me that is worried about what others will say.  I know we will be looked at very odd.  And to make matters worse, our Sunday School teacher is the Principle of the school! Yes, we go to church where the school is--but we like the church A LOT better than the school!  Ah--sooo complicated!!!!!!!

[bettyandbob]

IF you want them in school, you could do a trial run at public. It doesn't sound like they could be exposed to any more than they already have..... Speaking softly.... you might get more "normal" at public. That has been what I have heard anyway...

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

That was my experience. Much better discipline in public school. Some the most atrocious behavior we experienced in Christian groups, so if you homeschool and join a co op, keep your eyes open and don't assume that just because everyone is Christian they are all like you, etc.

 

But if you can do try to ease into homeschooling. I really appreciate the years I was able to to homeschool. It is an amazing opportunity to get to know my dc the way I did through homeschool, even if it wasn't the whole K-12). 

 

I think the idea of bringing home the older dc and starting them before the whole group is a good one. If you bring them all home at once, allot some of your tuition money to weekly maid service. 

 

If you research and decide to do WTM, the thing that made it easier for me with dc in different grades is doing the same period of history and the same science. The dc might not have had the same assignments, but my brain was staying on facts of Ancient History and I wasn't trying to keep up Biology and Physics at the same time. Field trips will be easier to plan too because the trip will be relevant to everyone. 

[khanna123]

Thanks Betty.  It's interesting, b/c our Christian School is very strict.  Very strict.  So much so, we are concerned about the high school kids having more an outward appearance of good behavior but no heart change.

 

There is probably just one thing that concerns me if the youngers stay next year:  one of the 2nd grade teachers is a yeller.  I have stood in the hallways and heard her yell at kids --not just firm, but a yeller.  I said something to the elementary principle last year about this and her response was, "Well, don't you yell at your kids?"  I said, "Yes, but I am that parent!"  She didn't say anything to that.  So I really don't want my kids to get her.  But, I can ask, there is NO guarantee.  None.  My son has already said he doesn't want her.  This is from things he has observed not from me....kids are very observant. 

[JudoMom]

We've only ever homeschooled, so you'll have to take this with a grain of salt.  I've got 5 boys, with only 6 years between the oldest and youngest.

I would pull them all out now.  It will take some time to get your footing.  I would use this semester to establish routines and feel out how it's going to work for your family, and get into a rhythm of learning. 

I guess I wouldn't want to give the school any more of my money for the kind of things they're being exposed to.  I'd rather have them all at home and work it out.

[bettyandbob]

Thanks Betty.  It's interesting, b/c our Christian School is very strict.  Very strict.  So much so, we are concerned about the high school kids having more an outward appearance of good behavior but no heart change.

 

There is probably just one thing that concerns me if the youngers stay next year:  one of the 2nd grade teachers is a yeller.  I have stood in the hallways and heard her yell at kids --not just firm, but a yeller.  I said something to the elementary principle last year about this and her response was, "Well, don't you yell at your kids?"  I said, "Yes, but I am that parent!"  She didn't say anything to that.  So I really don't want my kids to get her.  But, I can ask, there is NO guarantee.  None.  My son has already said he doesn't want her.  This is from things he has observed not from me....kids are very observant. 

 

 

Bleah! I wouldn't have them with a yeller. 

 

So, depending on the school contract (are you contracted to pay through the academic year) and what was going on with the current teachers I'd consider:

1. pulling the olders now, and begin to gain footing while youngers finish this academic year 

2. pull all dc now. get a lot of audio books and workbooks (basic math, basic phonics, coloring) for the youngers to occupy them while you gain footing. 

 

With either choice, I'd put a priority on putting saved tuition toward housecleaner once a week (I don't have one, but I know you will feel so much better with that taken care of. The house could quickly get out of control while you gain footing and for some people that situation makes them feel depressed). 

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

Now, we are dealing with several social issues with our 4th grader and our 3rd grader.  My 4th grader now knows every bad word in the book and some of his classmates are struggling with pornography.  To my knowledge, my son has not viewed it but I cannot be sure. Yes, this is a Christian school but we all know that does't mean perfect.  We have many kids that come from non-Christian homes but their parents or grandparents just want a better education. Our ps around here are rough.

 

 

I'm still trying to wrap my head around 4th graders struggling with porn.   :huh:

[NASDAQ]

I don't know about BJU, but Abeka is very fast off of the mark if it has the 4-year-olds reading sentences by mid-K4. That's not particularly common.

 

K5 doesn't require that much schooling. I'd probably bring the older ones home now and have a trial run during the summer to see if I can home school everyone without losing my mind. But my K5er does an hour a day and that's plenty.

 

The difficulty I find with K5 and 1 is that it's so, so parent-intense. There's absolutely no "why don't you do this for a second, dear." But I've never used DVDs, so that might be different.

[Farrar]

I'm still trying to wrap my head around 4th graders struggling with porn.   :huh:

 

That raised my eyebrows too.

 

There have been a few articles going around about this recently.  Kids as young as 11 or 12 (just slightly older than 4th graders) who get access early, watch a lot of stuff online, and become really warped - it actually changes the brain to view this sort of imagery in large amounts before the brain is fully formed.  There was a big study in the UK and bunch of articles a few months ago - one big one was by a former Playboy type mag editor who had come out against p*rn.

 

But in the context of a small Christian school, it might be kids who have seen more run of the mill nudity a few times and been caught since there's such a huge, huge stigma about p*rn in some Christian communities.  Not totally sure on this one.

[scootiepie]

 

 

 What is C A T?  Sorry, I am trying to learn all the abbreviations!   :)  

 

Just sounding out the word cat.   Guess I could've phrased it better.

[khanna123]

This year our Christian school went to the option of ebooks for 4th grade and up.  If you want to do ebooks you have to have a device--like iPad or something otherwise you can do traditional books (which is what we do).  So, many of the kids have iPads--even those who don't have ebooks--a lot of kids have access to the internet.  From what I understand, pornographic pictures are like a drug to the mind.  Also, internet pornography is the fastest growing addiction in the US.  So, when these little minds view this stuff, it sticks and becomes a habit, then if not stopped can become addiction. 

   I did talk to my 4th grader about this last night.  He said he hasn't seen any (I hope that is true) but that his friends at school talk a lot about YouTube and videos they watch on there.  He said they don't view it at school--but they do play games on the IPad when the teacher is out and a substitute is in....I don't like that.

 Plus, in Chapel, they had a prayer time of kids stating what they want to change ( in confidence, not allowed for all to hear) and the guy who spoke told us (in a church service) that two 4th grade boys stated to him they wanted to stop looking at bad pictures on the internet. So this confirms that this is going on.  That is only 2 boys that came forward. This doesn't include kids that didn't say anything.  Kids need a lot of guidance and prayer. This is a tough world to grow up in.