Dance Parents (Inspired by the "Gym Moms" thread, not the TV show)

[Lady Marmalade]

Erika, do you have costume yet?

 

My daughters's costume ended up needed a last minute fix seconds before going on stage. Ours took just minutes but we had two girls who hadn't had theirs taken in and one who got her dress stuck in her jacket zipper. Oh, and one girl whose top slid down onstage. That girl was amazing. She just kept dancing. Thankfully we had an awesome mom backstage who dealt with it all. She was amazing. I'm off to buy some double sided sticky tape for any more snafus.

 

Our first competition of the season is in two weeks. I hope we are all better prepared. Glad we had this run through.

 

We have some.  There was a big miscommunication in how boys costumes were to be handled, apparently.  Fortunately, DH was doing some projects for the studio yesterday and mentioned to the studio owner how upset I am about how the boys costumes are being handled this year.  She was horrified and promised to get right on it.  We've hit the two week countdown, so now I'm starting to get nervous.

 

My biggest disappointment with DS's costumes is that most of them are not dance costumes.  He's wearing dress pants and button-up shirts and khakis, black jeans, etc.  Yet he's expected to do the splits and toe touches, hip-hop tricks and other things that are quite difficult to do in non-stretchy, non-forgiving street clothes.  I think they were trying to save us money, thinking we had most of these things on hand. (Which we don't, we homeschool, our uniform is pajamas, which turn into dance clothes after school.)   We've already let the studio know that next year we want actual dance costumes designed to dance in- we'll pay more for them.

 

Oh my gosh!! A girl's top slid down!?  How horrifying- bravo for the girl to continue dancing!

[Jenny in Florida]

  We've already let the studio know that next year we want actual dance costumes designed to dance in- we'll pay more for them.

 

Costumes for boys are tough. If you look through the catalogues dance studios use to order costumes, most of the stuff for boys is either boring or really, really cheesy. I've spent years smiling ruefully when costumes were handed out, watching the girls try on three- and four-piece outfits with cute accessories, while my son receives a shirt and maybe a pair of poorly-made, lightweight jazz pants.

 

My son is also hard to fit, because he's tall and very slender. So, the solution this year was to just have costumes made for him. We paid less than it would have cost to order him a regular costume from a catalogue to have two pairs of very nice, custom-fitted pants (one black and one white) as well as a nice vest (made of stretchy fabric) and pocket squares to match the girls' costumes for each dance.

 

He LOVES the dance pants and is begging to have a few more pairs made to wear for dance classes.

[Lady Marmalade]

Costumes for boys are tough. If you look through the catalogues dance studios use to order costumes, most of the stuff for boys is either boring or really, really cheesy. I've spent years smiling ruefully when costumes were handed out, watching the girls try on three- and four-piece outfits with cute accessories, while my son receives a shirt and maybe a pair of poorly-made, lightweight jazz pants.

 

My son is also hard to fit, because he's tall and very slender. So, the solution this year was to just have costumes made for him. We paid less than it would have cost to order him a regular costume from a catalogue to have two pairs of very nice, custom-fitted pants (one black and one white) as well as a nice vest (made of stretchy fabric) and pocket squares to match the girls' costumes for each dance.

 

He LOVES the dance pants and is begging to have a few more pairs made to wear for dance classes.

 

Oh, I know they're tough to find sometimes.  The thing is, DS would be happy with those plain old jazz pants and a black tank for his dances.  He just wants to be able to move in them.

 

You've reminded me, though, that in years past I have made his costumes- or at least parts of them.   I need to remember that and let our new studio owner know that, as well as his teachers next year when we're discussing costumes.  When we paid for our costumes in November, I paid for very few things for DS.  I asked about that, and was told that when the girls costumes came in, the teachers would find stuff to match.   I was okay with that at the time, but in retrospect, I should have pressed further.  Next year, I'm totally going to offer to make as much of his stuff as possible.  Thank you so much for reminding me of that!!

[kroe1]

Very proud of the studio DD attends. The 60 production kiddos were each handed little plastic baskets with their names on them. These are to be set in the wings so the kiddos can do the 3+ costume changes without getting their clothes mixed up during that one number. And the teachers did all the bedazzling, even on the fishnets. Moms did not have to do anything. Since this studio has over 500 kiddos with 200 of those being on the competition team, I am surprised how little parents have to help. Even the dads did not have to build much this year since the studio purchased already made scaffolding.

 

Do you guys have studios like this? I am used to moms and dads having to make or gather up all the props.

[Lady Marmalade]

Very proud of the studio DD attends. The 60 production kiddos were each handed little plastic baskets with their names on them. These are to be set in the wings so the kiddos can do the 3+ costume changes without getting their clothes mixed up during that one number. And the teachers did all the bedazzling, even on the fishnets. Moms did not have to do anything. Since this studio has over 500 kiddos with 200 of those being on the competition team, I am surprised how little parents have to help. Even the dads did not have to build much this year since the studio purchased already made scaffolding.

 

Do you guys have studios like this? I am used to moms and dads having to make or gather up all the props.

 

Yes, and no.  :)  Our teachers will definitely do all the work if it comes down to it, but most parents offer anyway, because they know how much time our teachers have already put into these kids and dances.   Props have always been planned out by the teachers- sometimes they gather them themselves, but if they know a parent is willing/able, they will put a parent on that detail. 

 

Our studio also has a history of simply buying what is needed or hiring someone to make things.  However, now my DH has come along, and he can build anything and everything, and is saving the studio a ton of money being able to keep things in-house.  They're really excited about that and this may change things up as far as props and things for the future. 

 

3+ costumes for one production number?  That's a lot of changes!  I would be one nervous dance mom watching that dance!

[Lady Marmalade]

Costumes for boys are tough. If you look through the catalogues dance studios use to order costumes, most of the stuff for boys is either boring or really, really cheesy. I've spent years smiling ruefully when costumes were handed out, watching the girls try on three- and four-piece outfits with cute accessories, while my son receives a shirt and maybe a pair of poorly-made, lightweight jazz pants.

 

My son is also hard to fit, because he's tall and very slender. So, the solution this year was to just have costumes made for him. We paid less than it would have cost to order him a regular costume from a catalogue to have two pairs of very nice, custom-fitted pants (one black and one white) as well as a nice vest (made of stretchy fabric) and pocket squares to match the girls' costumes for each dance.

 

He LOVES the dance pants and is begging to have a few more pairs made to wear for dance classes.

 

I keep thinking about this... can I ask if you know the fabric used for the dance pants your DS loves?  The more I think on this, the more I think I need to put my sewing skills to work.  DS goes through black clothes like crazy, and I'm thinking if I could find a great pattern (or make one) I could have a never-ending supply of dance pants for him.  If I got good enough at it, I could offer to make some for all the boys for costumes.

[Jenny in Florida]

Very proud of the studio DD attends. The 60 production kiddos were each handed little plastic baskets with their names on them. These are to be set in the wings so the kiddos can do the 3+ costume changes without getting their clothes mixed up during that one number. And the teachers did all the bedazzling, even on the fishnets. Moms did not have to do anything. Since this studio has over 500 kiddos with 200 of those being on the competition team, I am surprised how little parents have to help. Even the dads did not have to build much this year since the studio purchased already made scaffolding.

 

Do you guys have studios like this? I am used to moms and dads having to make or gather up all the props.

 

Ummm . . . no.

 

The studio my son attends is tiny and family owned. The competition groups might have 35 kids in total, across all age groups. "Scaffolding" would be a foreign concept to us.

[Jenny in Florida]

I keep thinking about this... can I ask if you know the fabric used for the dance pants your DS loves? 

 

I don't know, unfortunately. It's relatively heavy, much thicker than typical jazz pants. It's a matte finish and is soft and stretchy but holds its shape nicely.

 

We're discussing going back to the costumer to get another shirt made for my son. If we do, I'll ask her what she used for the pants and let you know.

[kroe1]

Yes, and no. :) Our teachers will definitely do all the work if it comes down to it, but most parents offer anyway, because they know how much time our teachers have already put into these kids and dances. Props have always been planned out by the teachers- sometimes they gather them themselves, but if they know a parent is willing/able, they will put a parent on that detail.

 

Our studio also has a history of simply buying what is needed or hiring someone to make things. However, now my DH has come along, and he can build anything and everything, and is saving the studio a ton of money being able to keep things in-house. They're really excited about that and this may change things up as far as props and things for the future.

 

3+ costumes for one production number? That's a lot of changes! I would be one nervous dance mom watching that dance!

Your studio is very lucky to have a creative dad who knows how to build things. I do not think the audience can ever understand just how hard it is to build some of those props. One of the studios we saw last year had built a car that actually moved and had working lights and horn. Very cute. I cannot remember where that studio is.

 

The 3+ costume change will not be bad. The clothes are simple and layered. It is more shorts start on, then off rather than complete elaborate changes. Nonetheless, with 60 kiddos throwing shorts and shirts around, it could become a chaotic mess. I am only worried about the change of shoes for the older girls. I see lots of lost shoes after that number.

 

In regards to the pants for boys, the boys in our studio have almost quit wearing jazz pants for classes. They wear mostly Urban Empire type pants or Under Armour bike shorts. They wear a lot of street clothes for competitions, but buy them a little baggier in the seat and take up the waist. I will ask some of the boys if they have suggestions for you guys.

[Lady Marmalade]

T-minus 10 days to our first competition, and I'm now officially freaking out!

 

Silly me for assuming we would do hair in something like, oh, I don't know, the BUN we always wear or a variation thereof (up or down in placement).  I've even practiced a Miami bun on DD's head, thinking that may be where we are leaning.  Nope.  Got an e-mail just now that we're doing a high "wrapped ponytail J".  What the heck is that?!   I've been stocking up on extra bun-making supplies for the competition, so I'm insanely irritated about the sudden hair change.  A pony would be less work than a bun, but they never stay in nicely, so we'll have to re-do all day long.  I've figured out what a wrapped pony is, but what on earth is that J supposed to mean?

 

I e-mailed back and very clearly stated that I must have a picture or a video or demo or SOMETHING explaining this hairstyle.  I am very hair inept, it took us weeks to get the donut bun down.

 

 

[dancingmama]

Erika, I have a friend who is on some other mail service and when she puts a smiley in her email, it comes out looking like a "J" in mine.  Is it possible she said "wrapped ponytail :)  "?  

 

And it seems awfully late to be deciding on a hairstyle.  Ours was decided over a month ago and she had all the girls wear their hair in it so she could see it and then we had dress rehearsal last week and they had to wear it and get approval.  Hair is so important at competitions!

[Lady Marmalade]

Erika, I have a friend who is on some other mail service and when she puts a smiley in her email, it comes out looking like a "J" in mine.  Is it possible she said "wrapped ponytail :)  "?  

 

And it seems awfully late to be deciding on a hairstyle.  Ours was decided over a month ago and she had all the girls wear their hair in it so she could see it and then we had dress rehearsal last week and they had to wear it and get approval.  Hair is so important at competitions!

 

That's what I thought!  AND it gets better!  If you don't have long enough hair, you are required to go purchase hair extensions so that everyone looks uniform.  It doesn't have to be the same length, but at least long.   I am SO, SO incredibly thankful that DD has long hair.   That would have made me fly through the roof at this point.  Had they let us know a month ago- or preferably back when we ordered costumes and accessories.   They also are required to wear this new hairstyle for the rest of this week and next week so they get used to dancing with loose hair flying about. 

 

Late last night I got a reply to my e-mail that simply said a second e-mail was coming, and yes, there was an oddly placed J in that one as well.. so I put two and two together, and started googling a simple wrapped ponytail.  I received the official e-mail this morning with the pictures I requested, and I am relieved.  It looks a little "I Dream Of Jeannie" to me, but honestly, it will be much quicker than the donut bun.  The only problem I have with it at this point is that I have to move the pony for both DD's hip-hop and her Trio, as they wear hats, so it will have to move to a low pony for those.  Hopefully those dances won't be in quick-change positions.

 

So sorry for coming here and freaking out yesterday.  I thought it was better than me going on facebook and publicly chewing out our studio.  :)

[maize]

My dd is complaining of her heels hurting today, this is a problem that comes and goes I'm wondering if any of you can offer insight. She danced for several hours on Monday, but only maybe 20 minutes yesterday--her heals were hurting yesterday. The heels aren't bruised and she says it doesn't hurt if I push on them, it seems to be an inside ache. Maybe a tendon? She thinks it is related to being up on her toes so much (not pointe, just heels off the ground). 

 

Does this sound familiar to anyone? Is there anything we can do about it? She is going to rest from dancing today.

[mom2scouts]

 

 

And fishnets! Who thought these were a good idea?  So expensive, and from what I understand, we can expect to go through a pair per dance for every dance worn. Oy.

 

 

 

My 7 year old is wearing fishnets and I had the same reaction! They have made it through 4 dances on stage so far, so maybe they are more durable than they look.

[kroe1]

For the J ponytail, get some stiffening gel to make it flip out at the end. Obviously, try it ahead of time to make sure it works well with your DD's hair. If you tease the hair right at the base of the ponytail before applying the gel, you can get that little rise like I Dream of Jeanie

 

I asked the guys about the pants they wear for competition. They all said they get regular pants a size too big and take up the waist. They were laughing about the odd looks they get in stores when "trying out" the pants. All of them have ripped out the seats in at least one pair before leaving the store. They said the best was the white jeans worn last year. Those were skin tight, but stretchy and came from a dance company.

[maize]

How is everything going with your dancers? Anything big coming up for this fall? DD 11 is gearing up for her first Oireachtas (regional Irish dance competition). This is a huge jump in competition level for her and she is nervous, but her teacher assures me she will be ready by November. DS9 is starting to take off with dancing as well, he was reluctant to start but his interest level really perked up after dance camp this summer. DD6 switched to a beginning class at a different (less competition focused) studio and is much happier there, though trying to juggle the schedules is giving me new gray hairs every week. All three are also doing gymnastics once a week for core strength and cross training, though dd6 may eventually choose gymnastics over dance. I don't want to even start thinking about juggling competitive schedules for multiple kids in different sports. Fortunately we're not there yet.

[musicianmom]

Dd6 will start ballet 1 this fall. She's a little young for the class, but she's coordinated and flexible, plus it's probably going to be a small class, so I think she'll be fine.

 

Dd9 is going to do modern and Broadway jazz. Musical theater is really her thing, and at some point she's going to have to steel herself and attempt ballet and tap again, but not this year, lol.

[Farrar]

Ds is in "junior festival" this week at his ballet studio.  They get to choreograph their own dance.  He will be playing a shark that attacks some mermaids.  Apparently all the boys are.

 

He injured his foot and had to sit around for quite awhile which ruined our goal of working on flexibility this summer.  Shoot.  But it's healing and only slightly bothered him at camp so I'm relieved that it got better just in time for him to go dance again.  (What a waste of money that would have been otherwise!)

 

He wants to audition for a Nutcracker that's done by an out of town company on a big stage here at Christmas - they take a few local kids for their shows.  I seriously doubt he'd be able to get it, but he's excited to try.  And he may be old enough this year to do his studio's smaller Nutcracker.  They don't let the little kids (under age 9, I think?) do it at all.  But he has to get an invitation for that and I'm not sure if he will or not.  Sigh.  Poor kid.  He adores ballet and he really works hard, but he is just so tight...  I don't know if he's ever going to be able to go very far.

[Jenny in Florida]

My dancer is headed to college in about a month. He will be majoring in performing arts/musical theatre and is deciding between a minor in applied dance or double majoring.

 

This summer he's doing a "summer stock" production of Crazy for You with a local youth theatre. He's playing Custus (one of the cowboys) and is also the featured dancer. He gets to tap dance on a table in one scene and to do the dance with the pickax in "I've Got Rhythm," as well as a few other featured bits. 

[kroe1]

DD14 just competed in nationals this past week. Her team did very well. Auditions for next year's teams are this weekend. Personally, I am excited we have a little down time before all the traveling starts up again. Sometime within the next few weeks I am going to total up the year's expenses. I am predicting over $10,000.

 

I think I want an RV.

[dancingmama]

DS was eligible for a scholarship this year for his ballet school so he is now taking two ballet classes and is going to try jazz this year. We have a new director this year so we shall see what things will look like. Apparently this director is big on getting boys to dance so I am hoping our boy program grows. He's excited to do Nutcracker again.

 

DD was skipped up to L3 at her ballet school. She is super excited as she had started off last year as a L2 but was borderline 1A/2. Even though she was only taking 1 ballet class at this school, she did so well they had her skip a level. I'm really excited for her and so proud of her hard work. At her competition school we are waiting to see if she gets an invite. They are due in the mail this week. If she gets in, first auditions are on Saturday for a company wide tap number. Tap isn't her most favorite but she would try out and see. The director there is changing things up this year. I'm excited to hear more about her vision next week.

 

A new gymnastics school has opened up nearby. They are working to put together a homeschool class. I may try that out for my dd. My son wants to do tumbling but the school that does competitive tumbling is a bit of a drive. Not sure if I'll be able to manage that. I'm hoping the new school will at least do tumbling classes.

[LizzyBee]

How is everything going with your dancers? Anything big coming up for this fall? DD 11 is gearing up for her first Oireachtas (regional Irish dance competition). This is a huge jump in competition level for her and she is nervous, but her teacher assures me she will be ready by November. DS9 is starting to take off with dancing as well, he was reluctant to start but his interest level really perked up after dance camp this summer. DD6 switched to a beginning class at a different (less competition focused) studio and is much happier there, though trying to juggle the schedules is giving me new gray hairs every week. All three are also doing gymnastics once a week for core strength and cross training, though dd6 may eventually choose gymnastics over dance. I don't want to even start thinking about juggling competitive schedules for multiple kids in different sports. Fortunately we're not there yet.

 

Which Oireachtas do you do?  My dd will be going to the SRO (Southern Region) for the first time in December.  She's had a couple minor injuries this year so she hasn't progressed as well as we hoped, so she's just doing ceili and trad set. Hopefully she'll be ready for solos next year.

 

[Cakes]

What kind of dance does your child do? Is he or she in a pre-pro-type program, competitive or a recreational one? With what goals? DD 12,  primarily does ballet and is at a small rec/pre pro ballet school. Goal is to become a classical ballerina.

Any kids starting a new schedule? New classes or styles? No new styles this year other than one pre pointe/pointe class. She is not yet on pointe, so this is a good indication that she is on her way. Our school is very slow to put them up en pointe, most girls are between 12-13...some as late as 14 is necessary. DD will jump up a few hours per week to 10 (5 technique classes, jazz and pilates) that does not include rehearsals.


Anyone--either parents or dancers--especially excited about any aspect of the new year? It is great to see the girls mature and rise thru the levels. We have 7 and DD is in mid 4. 

Anything cool on the horizon in terms of scheduled performances or master classes or other experiences? Our school does two productions per year, including Nutcracker. I always love both :-) DD is also auditioning for the studio's youth company this year. She is a hair on the young side so we are looking at it as a good experience but the truth is we are probably both secretly praying that she makes it in. If so, we will pull DD out of public school to be homeschooled. Her hours would be too much to manage the homework load at school. That is actually what brought me to this site :-)

[dancingmama]

Welcome Cakes! Homeschooling has helped us with dd's dance schedule. She starts pre-pointe this year as well. Our school is slow going as well with pointe so we expect her to stay put for awhile here.

 

Good luck to her. When will she find out about company?

[dancingmama]

She got in! Woohoo!

[maize]

Which Oireachtas do you do? My dd will be going to the SRO (Southern Region) for the first time in December. She's had a couple minor injuries this year so she hasn't progressed as well as we hoped, so she's just doing ceili and trad set. Hopefully she'll be ready for solos next year.

 

We're in the Western region. DD will be on a ceili team and will also be doing solos; she just barely moved up to the preliminary champion level and has not yet competed at the new level; her teacher tends to take the kids who are willing to work and push them hard. I'm just hoping he's not trying to push her faster than she can really keep up.

[AngelaNYC]

How is everything going with your dancers? Anything big coming up for this fall? 

 

We all went to dd17's dance Nationals in Atlantic City.  She is starting a performing arts college in the fall and will be living on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.  A music video she's in was just released yesterday.  She's been doing lots of paid work, including assisting a big choreographer at his regular and private classes, and in about 3 weeks she'll be a backup dancer at a large venue for a new singer.  She's been taking hip hop and contemporary dance classes in Manhattan plus a few "heels" classes.  

 

It's been crazy but so exciting.  

[dancingmama]

My daughter's comp school just gave out placements and dd got 5 dances! Out of 7 she auditioned for. We were hoping for 2 or 3 as she is on the younger end on team. In one of her dances, she's the youngest dancer. So proud of her. She got a tap, lyrical, 2 jazz and a contemporary. She's thrilled! I think someone's getting a dream duffel for Xmas.

[kroe1]

Well one cannot have a dream duffel without one of these

 

http://shop.dreamduffel.com/product.sc?productId=300

 

Happy shopping.

[dancingmama]

Eek! Pretty sure that's out of the question. Holy cow!

[Lady Marmalade]

Well one cannot have a dream duffel without one of these

 

http://shop.dreamduffel.com/product.sc?productId=300

 

Happy shopping.

 

Wow.

 

Now I'm going to be watching the dressing rooms more closely this coming year to see who's this level of crazy!

 

Seriously though, I absolutely LOVE our Dream Duffle.  I didn't think I'd love it as much as I do, but it truly is the perfect dance accessory.  So easy to pack, move, and organize. I really want to get one for DS, but we have yet to go to a competition where the boys dressing room is not the tiniest closet in the place.  We've been making do with a portable hanging rack and regular duffle bag because there is definitely not room for much more than that.  

[kroe1]

Wow.

 

Now I'm going to be watching the dressing rooms more closely this coming year to see who's this level of crazy!

We are that level of crazy. LOL, The light up makeup train is more valuable than the dream duffel, in my opinion. There was countless competitions where one giant ballroom was turned into a dressing room. This means moms ran in at opening to stake their studio's space. One might get lucky to find a folding table, but not always. These makeup trains have legs that screw on and adjust to two heights, just perfect for the dream duffle stool. It is great for dancers who have multiple makeup changes and hair changes between dances. It has four separate compartments as well as larger spaces on the sides for hairbrushes and curling irons. It also has a plug for the curling irons. Younger dancers certainly do not need one if mom is still putting on all the makeup, but for an older dancer, it is awesome.

 

I finally totaled the year of expenses including all the traveling, classes, costumes, makeup, competition fees, food on the road, gas, etc. ..........$13,000! Now there's your level of crazy. It was our first year of a competition team so I had no clue costs were that high. The next level of crazy is I am letting DD14 do it again this year. Luckily there are no more expenses for Dream Duffels and makeup trains although I am eyeing the smaller Dream Duffel for plane trips. Crazy!

[bettyandbob]

 

I finally totaled the year of expenses including all the traveling, classes, costumes, makeup, competition fees, food on the road, gas, etc. ..........$13,000! Now there's your level of crazy. It was our first year of a competition team so I had no clue costs were that high. The next level of crazy is I am letting DD14 do it again this year. Luckily there are no more expenses for Dream Duffels and makeup trains although I am eyeing the smaller Dream Duffel for plane trips. Crazy!

 

That is crazy to me. But not unheard of where I live. That's just the market guess. it really prices some people out of the market though, which is sad. I wish dance were more accessible.

 

Two years ago I got a lot of negative remarks on this board about the fees for dd's dance studio. I  investigated other studios in my area and had a heart attack when I figured out the yearly tuition at a popular studio that does competitions. They bill monthly by hours in class, not counting costumes and competition fees.    I tallied up the number of hours dd typically took class a (about 12 hours a week at the time) and found that if she cut back to around 5 hours (three classes at the competition studio) the fees would add up to around 10,000 (classes only, not costumes, not competitions). That made me hyperventilate in the studio lobby while dd was taking some summer sample classes. Dd announced after the sample classes she was a ballet girl all the way.

 

Our fees for greater than 10 hours of classes a week this year will total 3500.  Her group has 14 hours of classes officially scheduled, but some weeks they have more. I expect no more than another 1500 in expenses including pointe shoes. Graduates from this program have contracts with critically acclaimed companies so I'm not worried about this quality of the program. There are also graduates using years of dance discipline in med school, vet school and other pursuits. I like that more because dd isn't interested in pursuing this professionally.

 

The fees we pay are a big stretch for our family. If the cost was going to double I'd have to say "no" and I don't think dd would transfer her interest to other pursuits for a long time. I'd hate for her to be sitting around all those hours when I know she likes to be inside the studio, challenging herself.

 

[dancingmama]

Luckily our study does not do makeup or hair changes so I don't need the makeup table. I only consider the dream duffel because of the 5 costumes. I am so not organized and I think this will help me keep everything together. We are definitely used to just being in a huge room and having to stake our claim to space. I have to decide whether to do the medium or large. Such an investment but the large seems so bulky. But if at 10 she's doing five....

 

Thankfully the fees here aren't too terrible. Our director tries to keep costs down as much as possible. We were nowhere near $13k. Less than half of that.

[Lady Marmalade]

We are that level of crazy. LOL, The light up makeup train is more valuable than the dream duffel, in my opinion. There was countless competitions where one giant ballroom was turned into a dressing room. This means moms ran in at opening to stake their studio's space. One might get lucky to find a folding table, but not always. These makeup trains have legs that screw on and adjust to two heights, just perfect for the dream duffle stool. It is great for dancers who have multiple makeup changes and hair changes between dances. It has four separate compartments as well as larger spaces on the sides for hairbrushes and curling irons. It also has a plug for the curling irons. Younger dancers certainly do not need one if mom is still putting on all the makeup, but for an older dancer, it is awesome.

 

I finally totaled the year of expenses including all the traveling, classes, costumes, makeup, competition fees, food on the road, gas, etc. ..........$13,000! Now there's your level of crazy. It was our first year of a competition team so I had no clue costs were that high. The next level of crazy is I am letting DD14 do it again this year. Luckily there are no more expenses for Dream Duffels and makeup trains although I am eyeing the smaller Dream Duffel for plane trips. Crazy!

 

I totally need to see this in action! 

 

DD still has no interest in doing her own make-up or hair, and I don't mind doing them so far.  And I say so far because for the most part, our studio does try to limit the hair changes- and we've never had a make-up change.  

 

But I totally hear you on the ballroom/changing room thing.  We had one comp. last year that had two stages set up at either end in one massive ballroom, and then the changing space was curtained off between the two.  It was completely strange. Thankfully, DD was not competing at that one- it was DS only, so we didn't have to navigate the smallest dressing room space  (for well over 1,000 dances) I've ever seen. 

 

I don't want to add up expenses ever.  Especially now that I have two kids competing at the second highest level our studio offers.  More competitions, more $$, and I'm really worried about where we may be traveling for nationals this coming year...

 

ETA:  It IS a good crazy though.  I'm really loving the dance mom experience, and while competition may not be for everyone, we sure love it.  I'd much rather be crazy with dance than with an outdoor sport where I have to sit outside and cheer no matter the weather.  Now I may have crazy distances to travel and early (or late) times to be at attention, but at least we're indoors out of the elements. 

[Lady Marmalade]

Luckily our study does not do makeup or hair changes so I don't need the makeup table. I only consider the dream duffel because of the 5 costumes. I am so not organized and I think this will help me keep everything together. We are definitely used to just being in a huge room and having to stake our claim to space. I have to decide whether to do the medium or large. Such an investment but the large seems so bulky. But if at 10 she's doing five....

 

Thankfully the fees here aren't too terrible. Our director tries to keep costs down as much as possible. We were nowhere near $13k. Less than half of that.

 

The large IS bulky, imho.  We have the medium for DD.  This last year at recital time she had 8 costumes on the rack and it was just fine- plus a friend added her two costumes as well.  Plenty of room for everything.

 

I also really love Dream Duffle's garment bags- I recommend getting extras if you can afford the extra $$.  They have enough pockets and compartments that we had the costume in the bag, and then each accessory, pair of tights, fishnets, shoes, jewelry, hairpiece, etc.  Had it's own pocket and you could see at a glance it you were missing anything.  

[Momling]

Any thoughts/suggestions for normal dance bags? My daughter takes class six days/week and will start taking the city bus. She needs room for just the basics - ballet shoes, pointe shoes, sewing kit, hairbrush and spray, sweater, snack and water bottle and wallet. A mesh stinky shoe area would probably be ideal.

Most importantly though: no pink or sequins or I-heart-dance kind of style.

[kroe1]

Betty, you are right in that there are much cheaper ways to get a great dance education/experience. We have quite a few performing arts public schools in our area. I think the kiddos only pay for costumes and the teachers are excellent. DD got most of her training at the local theater before she decided to compete. While admittedly she was behind in technique initially, it has only taken her about two years to catch up. Even for those kiddos who pursue dance as a career or lifetime hobby, I am not convinced that the competition experience is essential.

 

I think the most benefit for DD being on a competition team is having access to visiting choreographers and master classes. Also, the hip hoppers and jazz kiddos go to Pulse every year which has great choreographers. I do not know that the competitions really teach anything, but everyone just has a lot of fun. It is like the payoff for all the hard work up to that point. I have a great time, too. That is how I justify it.

[Lady Marmalade]

Any thoughts/suggestions for normal dance bags? My daughter takes class six days/week and will start taking the city bus. She needs room for just the basics - ballet shoes, pointe shoes, sewing kit, hairbrush and spray, sweater, snack and water bottle and wallet. A mesh stinky shoe area would probably be ideal.

Most importantly though: no pink or sequins or I-heart-dance kind of style.

 

Not a dance bag, but we bought DD a 31 bag years ago to be her dance bag and it's been working out great.  The dance shoes go in the big center pocket which doesn't have a closure- so they air out. (Oh my gosh, so much better than DS's shoes that get sealed up in a gym bag.)  Pointe shoes go in their own mesh bag, which then goes in the big space with the other shoes as well.  Plus smaller pockets on the outside to hold accessories and whatnot.  If she has something like a wallet, she puts that on the bottom of the dance bag underneath the stinky shoes.  No one's going digging in there.  It's really held up well.  I think she's had it for 5 years now, and it still looks great.  It looks like this Utility Tote, only ours is smaller.

[dancingmama]

We also use 31 bags for dance bags. My son uses a simple sling style bag. My daughter uses a combo of bags depending on class and what she needs to bring with her.

 

Thanks for letting me know about the big bag. I'll definitely stick with the medium then.

 

I had a huge post written out and it went poof. Blah.

[maize]

Hi everyone, how are things going with your dancers? We're gearing up for a local competition this weekend (first time competing for ds9, first time on a team for dd11) and a much larger regional competition in November. I'm really looking forward to life calming down a bit after that! The extra classes, stress over costumes (eek!), worry about the actual logistics of travel/wrangling a toddler during the competition (he's turned super clingy again and dh is afraid he won't be able to handle things at home if I leave him behind)...and everything just being so new for us--all this is making my head spin.

 

It's been really great for dd though to be part of the regionals classes, she has spent so much time at the studio and gotten to know the other kids so much better, I think she feels like "part of the gang" for the first time in her life. I'm just hoping for an adequate showing at the competition, it is her first time competing at this level and a lot of the girls she will be up against have been dancing much longer than she has; I don't expect anything spectacular from her on solos. I do have hope that her team will do really well though. 

 

This week's project: finish modifying her solo dress so she can wear it on Saturday. Irish dance solo dress insanity has taken over my life...

 

ETA: oh, I shouldn't leave out dd6. She is at a different dance school, also Irish but not competition focused, and will be in their performance of "The Wizard of Oz" in November. Fortunately the beginner class's part in the performance is minimal--they get to represent the tornado and the flying monkeys. There are just a couple of extra rehearsals and the performance to deal with, so not too much stress for me and she is super excited :)

[maize]

May I ask a question? For those families heavily involved in dance, are you concerned about the higher rates of eating disorders among dancers (especially in ballet)? I have worried about this issue because two of my sisters struggled with anorexia as teenagers/young adults. They are both doing well now, but it is a very real problem in my mind and is one reason we have so far stuck with Irish dance over other forms (not so focused on physique). This is great for dd11 who loves Irish, but dd6 would, I think, really prefer a different dance style. 

 

Is this a concern for you? Is it something that your studios/instructors seem to be concerned about preventing? I worry particularly because of the family history (my grandmother was also anorexic off and on throughout her life) because there seems to be a heritable susceptibility. I'm almost afraid to take dd6 to see the local Nutcracker performance because I think she will fall in love with it.

 

 

[bettyandbob]

May I ask a question? For those families heavily involved in dance, are you concerned about the higher rates of eating disorders among dancers (especially in ballet)? I have worried about this issue because two of my sisters struggled with anorexia as teenagers/young adults. They are both doing well now, but it is a very real problem in my mind and is one reason we have so far stuck with Irish dance over other forms (not so focused on physique). This is great for dd11 who loves Irish, but dd6 would, I think, really prefer a different dance style. 

 

Is this a concern for you? Is it something that your studios/instructors seem to be concerned about preventing? I worry particularly because of the family history (my grandmother was also anorexic off and on throughout her life) because there seems to be a heritable susceptibility. I'm almost afraid to take dd6 to see the local Nutcracker performance because I think she will fall in love with it.

 

My perspective is on the high school girls.

I'm not for my dd. She is not overly thin and eats well.

 

The girls at her studio eat some unhealthy stuff, mostly pizza from the pizza place next door and tubs of Haagen das from the grocery in the same shopping center. Clearly, it is not a diet conscious crowd. Of the high school girls my dd may be the heaviest of the bunch. She is not heavy, the serious high school dancers tend to be size OO to size 4. They are dancing off every calorie they take in. So, they actually need the dense amount of calories in the ice cream and pizza.

 

The studio owner doesn't like anyone to talk about "quality of food". As a teen, she escaped Hungary in 1956 by jumping out a back window of her apartment building as Russian tanks were coming down the street. She experienced real hunger. She thinks its funny Americans harp on food quality (but are still fat).

 

Since the high school girls are in the studio long hours, especially weekends, studio staff does take note if someone is not eating. Over the years there have been a few times when some dancers are told to stop what they are doing (rehearsing, leading a preschool class, helping younger students warm up, taking their own class, etc), take a break and get something to eat. They always do. There is one woman on staff who won't let them get away without eating and she is actually very watchful of behavior, but I don't think she needs to be, at the same time girls do not notice how much this one woman watches.

 

I used to wonder about this, not so much from a eating disorder perspective, but a nutrition perspective. There is an American who dances for Mariinski (the first American with such a contract). She grew up in our studio. I remember when she first left for Russia. I swear every time she comes to visit she's thinner. I suspect between classes and rehearsals there may not be enough time to eat to get the right balance. It's just my theory. It's made me wonder if part of why careers end early because there's no way eat enough while you are working so hard, resulting leaving your body open to injuries like stress fractures.

 

When I observe how hard some of these girls work it's like Olympic athletes. Train, eat, rehearse, eat, train, eat, sleep. For some there may not be enough time to eat enough. I see that as a little different than consciously avoiding eating or eating and purging (who has time for that addition).

 

I'm not so worried about my dd. Sometimes she's not eating at the studio, but that's because she has allergies and everyone knows that. She's thin, but not a lot of bone sticking out thin. And she's not planning a career, so this year and next will be it for her.

[Lady Marmalade]

May I ask a question? For those families heavily involved in dance, are you concerned about the higher rates of eating disorders among dancers (especially in ballet)? I have worried about this issue because two of my sisters struggled with anorexia as teenagers/young adults. They are both doing well now, but it is a very real problem in my mind and is one reason we have so far stuck with Irish dance over other forms (not so focused on physique). This is great for dd11 who loves Irish, but dd6 would, I think, really prefer a different dance style. 

 

Is this a concern for you? Is it something that your studios/instructors seem to be concerned about preventing? I worry particularly because of the family history (my grandmother was also anorexic off and on throughout her life) because there seems to be a heritable susceptibility. I'm almost afraid to take dd6 to see the local Nutcracker performance because I think she will fall in love with it.

 

Our studio (and the one prior) would encourage healthier choices when it comes to eating for the dancers.  Meaning, the teachers would sometimes encourage their kids to choose healthy proteins for breakfast the morning of a performance instead of donuts or cold cereal.  Or sometimes they will have a discussion about choosing better snacks in the evening while at classes.  But I can say with 100% certainty that we've never encountered a teacher or studio yet that voiced issues with weight.  We have plenty of dancers at our studio that are not thin as a rail.  

 

I'm definitely not concerned.  My DD eats like a horse.  She blows me away with the quantity of food she consumes sometimes.  

 

I like to think that the overall culture of dance is shifting away from the mentality that dancers need to be twigs.  It may still be in some of the professional settings, but I would think that you could take a tour of your local ballet school that your DD would attend and you would see for your own eyes what their overall philosophy is.  At our studio size does not matter- it's a love for dance that matters. 

[GailV]

 

 

It's been really great for dd though to be part of the regionals classes, she has spent so much time at the studio and gotten to know the other kids so much better, I think she feels like "part of the gang" for the first time in her life. I'm just hoping for an adequate showing at the competition, it is her first time competing at this level and a lot of the girls she will be up against have been dancing much longer than she has; I don't expect anything spectacular from her on solos. I do have hope that her team will do really well though. 

 

 

 

Your comment about your dd feeling more like "part of the gang" gave me a flashback:  One thing I really liked about the ID school we attended was the emphasis on team-building throughout the entire school.  The kids who were more experienced at going to regional/national competitions were assigned to be secret pals to the kids who were going to Oireachtas for the first time -- they'd send little notes for the weeks running up to the competition, and then decorate their hotel doors.  And the TCs made a huge deal everyone going to all the awards ceremonies, sitting together as a group, and cheering for whatever happened.  

 

So, yeah, I get what you're saying.  It really can become a close knit family.  And the other parents will help with toddlers and/or dancers who need a toddler-burdened mom to help with a shoe or sock or hair or general jitters.

 

Having said that, we  walked away from it a few years ago.  We're still friends with some of the people, and occasionally go to a feis just to see everyone (by the way, feiseanna are more fun when you're just cruising around talking to friends, coming and going when you feel like it, instead of actually competing).

 

Confession: Every fall I'm so glad I'm not having to prep for Oireachtas again. It really is all-consuming. 

[GailV]

 

I like to think that the overall culture of dance is shifting away from the mentality that dancers need to be twigs.  It may still be in some of the professional settings, but I would think that you could take a tour of your local ballet school that your DD would attend and you would see for your own eyes what their overall philosophy is.  At our studio size does not matter- it's a love for dance that matters. 

 

I have no idea about the overall culture (although Misty Copeland doesn't strike me as a twig), but our current dance school also doesn't put much emphasis on size.  My MIL saw a little studio recital they gave at the end of an intensive and was so impressed that pretty much every size and shape was represented -- honestly, it hadn't even struck me as remarkable since I'm so used to it.

 

During summer intensives they do discuss healthy eating.  I think my kids heard more directives about eating a certain way in their old Irish Dance school since that TC was a more controlling person than anyone at our current ballet school.

[maize]

 

 

Confession: Every fall I'm so glad I'm not having to prep for Oireachtas again. It really is all-consuming. 

 

All consuming indeed! I will be so glad when Oireachtas is over. Fortunately I don't expect to deal with the insanity again until next year's Oireachtas. One of my friends has girls who are very, very good--which is fabulous but it means they never get a break. They go from Oireachtas prep to Worlds prep to Nationals prep and never slow down. They are taking an enforced rest period now because three of the four girls had broken feet/ankles and the fourth had pneumonia going into this season. The decided to sit out Oireachtas this year and come back in January.

 

I don't know what we will do long term. DD loves ID, and loves the competitive focus of the studio she is at. DH is looking at jobs out of state though and if we relocate the most likely city has only one ID studio and it is not as competitive as this one. I think that could be a good thing...recent injuries at the studio (there have been several in addition to the ones I mentioned above) have me rather spooked.

[maize]

I'm glad to hear most studios are not so focused on eating and physique. My perspective comes largely from my sister's experience at an elite performing arts high school; she was a musician, but her dancer friends were constantly under pressure from their instructors who held regular weigh-ins and apparently watched every bite they ate (they were required to eat at a separate table from other students). This was a school that regularly fed into professional dance programs, but the environment and pressure did not sound at all healthy to me, especially knowing that my kids are probably at higher risk than average for eating disorders.

[maize]

I have no idea about the overall culture (although Misty Copeland doesn't strike me as a twig), but our current dance school also doesn't put much emphasis on size.  My MIL saw a little studio recital they gave at the end of an intensive and was so impressed that pretty much every size and shape was represented -- honestly, it hadn't even struck me as remarkable since I'm so used to it.

 

During summer intensives they do discuss healthy eating.  I think my kids heard more directives about eating a certain way in their old Irish Dance school since that TC was a more controlling person than anyone at our current ballet school.

 

Our TC is obsessive about a great many things, but I have never once heard him mention eating or body shape, and we certainly have all shapes represented. The kids all eat like horses from what I have seen--as others noted, they burn up calories by the bucketfull...

[Jenny in Florida]

May I ask a question? For those families heavily involved in dance, are you concerned about the higher rates of eating disorders among dancers (especially in ballet)? 

 

Yes, it is a concern.

 

In my family, it is my son who is the serious dancer, which does alleviate the concern a bit. Male dancers are not supposed to be twigs, and my son naturally tends towards a very slender body type. (He's about six feet tall and weighs about 130 pounds.) So, I have been very lucky not to have to worry too much.

 

My daughter dances, but only as one part of her triple-threat package. Nonetheless, we quietly kept an eye on her eating habits for years, because she is not blessed with the same naturally lean physique as my son has and she is going into a profession that is extremely body conscious. 

 

She has spent the last two and half years working at dance studios, and she sees a lot of issues with the girls. Because she is young and approachable, a lot of the teens and tweens open up to her in a way that they don't necessarily with their teachers. At one studio, when she started hearing that some of the girls weren't eating or were exhibiting other warning signs, she got permission to start posting nutrition information on the bulletin boards and sending home reminders about the need for dancers to eat well. She became concerned enough about a dancer to encourage the school director to meet with the girl's parents and follow up. 

 

I've said a number of times that, if my daughter had been the one to fall in love with dance at age seven, instead of my son, I would have had to think long and hard about how deeply I would have allowed her to get involved and how we could foster a healthy body image and good habits. I don't think I would have refused to allow her to start ballet if she had wanted to do so, but I would absolutely have made a concerted effort to put health and nutrition topics into heavy rotation in our daily conversations.