For those with family 2-3 hours away

[ksr5377]

how often do you go home to visit?  My parents live 2.5 hours NE of us.  DH's live 2 hours NW.   We're discussing the idea of placing a limit on the number of times we're out of town each month.  As much as we hate having to decide between family events etc. we're thinking it's getting to be a bit ridiculous, the number of weekends we're on the road.  Especially now that DH is back in school.

[matrips]

When we were that distance from my folks, it averaged every 6 weeks or so that we drove up to visit. Sometimes it might be more frequent, other times during the year less.

[Amira]

The only time we have ever seen family more than once a month is when we lived a block from them. Even an hour away didn't get a monthly visit- we might do a 2.5 hour drive a few times a year. But we're used to maintaining long-distance relationships with family and feel close to them even when we don't see them often.

 

It would be really hard to be gone most weekends when your husband is in school!

[QueenCat]

When we were that close, we went to see them about once a month, and they came to see us about once a month. During holidays, we were there more. It was only my parents. His have always been a one to two day drive, no matter where we lived.

[magnificent_baby]

My IL's are 3 hours; we go there on average every 6-8 weeks. They also come here about every 6-8 weeks as well. We were very busy this summer though, and haven't been up (as an entire family) in a long time. I know they would love to see us more, but they are retired and have a much more flexible schedule. They know they are welcome anytime. 

 

[happypamama]

When we were about 2 hours away, we went over every few months, but they also came to visit us a lot. If we went four weeks without seeing one or the other sets of grandparents (they all live in the same town), that was a lot. They tended to come to us in the summer more than we tended to go to them because they all live along the route to the beach, and going to them meant sitting in Chesapeake Bay Bridge traffic. Now that we live about 3.5 hours away, we only go to them about twice a year, usually around Memorial Day and Thanksgiving or Christmas, but also, we have a lot more children now, so it's tons more work to pack everyone up. My dad is also semi-retired now, so it's easy for him and my mom to pack up and come to visit us (they have a camper and stay at a nice campground resort nearby).

[AHASRADA]

Once a month, usually. Dh's family is overseas, though, so we don't have to split those visits between two families. I get to visit my parents every month, working around special occasions so we can be there for parades, festivals, etc.

 

Most of the time, the dc and I go without dh, since for me it's "going home", while he'd rather have peace and quiet home alone than a weekend with the ILs.

 

Could you take turns so the entire family doesn't have to travel every time?

[swellmomma]

Most of my family lives 2 hours away, though my brother and sil live 5 hours away.  When we had better means to afford the gas we at times drove in every week.  Now that we don't it's more like 1 visit every 9-12 weeks and only because we are coming in for another reason like a dr's appt, or camp, or special event.  They don't come this way, they hate the drive and I don't like them in my space because they nitpick everything.  My folks come here for an afternoon to help with house repairs 1-2 times a year.  My brother has been here once since we moved over 3 years ago, my sister and bil only twice.  Sometimes I start to think 2 hours is too close lol more distance would be helpful :)

[Alice]

My parents are a little less than 2 hours away. We hardly ever go there. We do a yearly beach trip with them and we drive the longer distance for that. Other than that they come to us. I sometimes feel a little guilty about that but when we do go there she gets really anxious about having stuff clean and buying special food and making it perfect. It’s actually more relaxing for them to come here and just join in whatever we are doing that weekend. They come about every 4-8 weeks. 

[AdventureMoms]

My family is about 4.5 hrs away and we aim for every 2-3 months. They visit here about as often. This summer it has been quite a bit more often, more like every month. But that is because it has become convenient for me to go with the kids when DW is in a busy work phase. Sometimes having them there, for a change of scenery, is easier than having them home.

[Kathryn]

Oh my! You people see your families a lot!

 

My dad is two hours north. We go there once a year, he comes here once a year. FIL is 2 hours west. We go there once a year. He stops by on his way somewhere else and drops off Christmas gifts and stays for an hour. MIL is two hours east. We go there a couple times a year and she comes here for an overnight on Christmas Eve.

[Word Nerd]

I see my parents, who are around 2 hours away, once a month or so—sometimes more and sometimes less depending on what time of year it is and whether other family members are visiting. We see DH's parents several times a year, and they're 8 or 9 hours away.

[SwallowTail]

Our parents are about the same distance away - 2 hours.  We used  to maybe go every other month or quarterly, but now it is more like once per year (would be never, if I had my druthers).

[Shelly in IL]

5 hours.  We try to go quarterly.

[Farrar]

My mom is a little farther, more like 4 hours.  I end up seeing her every couple of months on average, but it alternates - sometimes she comes here.  And it's not exactly even.  I saw her about a week ago but we're going down there in a couple of weeks.  But it helps that there's no big family there.  That would be harder.

[Sparkle]

My parents are deceased but my sister who is my closest relative lives about 3 hours away. Generally we will go to see her at Thanksgiving and Christmas (not necessarily right on those days, but sometime during those holidays), and maybe once during the summer. We usually drive there because she has a guest house and room for all of us to stay. So about 3x/year. Occasionally if we happen to be driving through their town on the way to SoCal we will drop by and visit for a bit.

 

DH's parents live 10 minutes away so we see them frequently.

[Tap]

My mom is 3 hours away and I haven't seen her in a couple of years. We talk on the phone 1-2 times per month.

 

Dh mother is 4 hours and he has seen her 3-4 times in the past year.  We go to a cabin about 1 hour away from where she lives, so she will drive up to the cabin to meet.

Dh father, we seen on major holidays.  Christmas, Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving. 

 

 

[Julie Smith]

My parents are usually 2 hours away. If you leave at a good no traffic time and have a heavy foot it can take 90 minutes. But that really limits when you can travel. 

 

We go visit every 3 to 4 weeks. 

 

But then it's a big house which is in many ways a vacation spot. 

 

50 acres woods. Lake front access with kayaks, and a mini little baby sailboat (called a laser), ATV with family owned trails, giant trampoline, hot tub, fire places, across the street from a ski resort.

[wendyroo]

My parents' house is just over 2 hours from us and their cottage is 3 hours from us.  We end up seeing them on average every 4 - 6 weeks.  Mostly we drive there (my mom is a bit of a homebody), but they make the drive to us a few times a year.  Several times a year the kids and I go visit them when my husband is traveling for work.

 

Wendy

[ksr5377]

I'm so happy I asked this question because you're making me feel much less guilty about wanting to cut down on our traveling.  At this point,  I would say that on average we're visiting each about once a month, so we're gone at least two weekends a month.  It's just too much!  It isn't helped by the fact that his parents are divorced and our time there has to be split evenly, which sometimes means an extra weekend to visit if there wasn't time to see both parents due to a big event or something.  Trust me, his mom keeps careful tabs on it all being "fair."    We spent a week at the beginning of July with his dad and only 3 weeks later they were here visiting us.  I love that everyone wants to have such a great relationship with my children, they're all such wonderful grandparents, but even when they visit us it's hard to not lose your weekend time for catching up on cleaning, laundry etc.  I also really like the idea of only one adult traveling, that would leave someone here to do the catch-up work while still fitting in a visit.