Estate Planning (how cheery, right?)

[mommymonster]

Hi Folks,

 

I was wondering whether you and your spouse (if applicable) have done estate planning (wills, trusts, buried things in the back yard)? Why or why not? Did you use an attorney, and if so, how did you find him or her?

 

I'm interested because my husband and I did estate planning the second we conceived our first child. My siblings think I'm crazy and paranoid. While that might be the case, I still think you need to plan if you have kids. Thanks.

[Tita Gidge]

We did, but I honestly think that it's only because we were required to for his job.

 

His employer offered legal services, but we used my cousin's firm.

 

I don't think you're crazy or paranoid, but I don't think it's something that needs to be done before the pee stick dries LOL.

 

Some of us are born planners, others of us need an emergency to put things into action; most of us fall in between.

[Mrs Mungo]

Yes, we did all of that. We have actually seen nightmare scenarios when people did not do those things.

[gardenmom5]

we talked to a number of estate attorney's, and dh attended a number of dog and pony shows for estate planning before we found one we were very happy with. death brings out the worst (re: greed) in people. (we also have a friend who is an estate attorney. we've heard some horror stories, and I've lived with threats of my own from a family member.)

 

we had a trust set up for my mom - about two years before her health nose-dived. (and so glad we did. it has (still hasn't been closed out) the super uber nasty clause that anyone causing trouble would be cut off as though they had no heirs. - there was a reason I wanted that clause, and I've had cause to be glad it was in the trust.)

 

we have since set up a trust for us with the same attorney. depending upon the size of the estate, it can be more worthwhile to have a trust vs a will. a trust properly done can offer more protection to the heirs as well as a medically fragile holder while they are alive. it also covers poa's and medical. My mil doesn't need a trust, and only recently got a new will drawn up. she said she had one, but had no clue where it might be. she'll be 87 this month.

[readwithem]

Yes for all the reasons others have mentioned. Plus we wanted to specify a large chunk to go to the school where I tutor.

 

Anyone who dies intestate is leaving their estate up to the courts to decide what happens to their assets. The court can't read your mind. Once you do the first will, it is very easy to amend.

 

We asked for a lawyer referral from several friends. Be sure to use a lawyer in the state where you live.

[Pawz4me]

Yes. All done many years ago, before I was pregnant with oldest DS, when I worked for a very large law firm with an estate planning department and legal services for employees were free. Thankfully the attorney was very thorough, so although all our papers were drawn up over twenty years ago we've not had to revise anything yet. We're also very careful, of course, in how we set up bank and investment accounts. I'm going through that right now with my mom's estate, and her having almost all of her investments set up with my brother and I as joint tenants with rights of survivorship has made the process much easier than it might have been otherwise and it has minimized the taxes we owe. Having her accounts set up that way also ensured we had easily accessible funds to cover funeral and other expenses w/o having to stretch our own budgets. Of course one needs to think long and hard before doing that -- If siblings don't get along very well or aren't trustworthy it could potentially be a recipe for family disaster. That's not the case with us, thank goodness.

[Night Elf]

We hired an attorney we found through the internet, like using the yellow pages. They were extremely helpful and walked us through every step. The only items we own that have any value are our cars. Even our laptops are cheap. We have an executor who will settle things financially and a guardian appointed for our children. Both are close family members who will work together to handle everything that needs to be taken care of. They each have their own copies of all the paperwork and know where our originals are kept. We had it done when our first child was born and then we updated it a couple of years ago to change the guardian. We feel it's a good, smart plan. I'm glad we have it in place. And most importantly, we trust the people we have chosen to carry out our wishes. We'll update it again when our last child becomes an adult and wouldn't need a guardian any longer.

[Lanny]

Cheery = No. Vital subject = Yes.

 

I lived in a small city in Texas and attended a seminar put on by the local school district. The Attorney who did the seminar was not there soliciting business, but I had a very good impression of him, so I contacted his office and I used him. I remember bringing drafts home, several times, so I could read them, several times, very slowly, and make any changes/corrections that were necessary. That was my first Will.

 

If you move to another state, or, to another country, your Will is not valid and you need a new one. Here, my situation is much different. I own a house and I have a wife and minor child. The man we hired to write the Will for us is the Attorney who wrote the papers for the Real Estate transaction, when we purchased this lot. Actually, he is in Bogota and we are in Cali and we have never met him... Here, many things like Real Estate transactions are handled in the office of a Notary, nothing like a Notary in the USA. A Notary here is an Attorney with a special permission from the government to handle legal transactions. Every word of the Will here was read, out loud, by the Notary, with us there, and a Witness. The Will is on file in the office of the Notary.

 

As someone else pointed out, if you do not have a Will and you pass away, the State you live in will distribute your Estate according to State law. That may or may not be the way you would like for it to done, but that's how it works for people who do not have a Will for the Court to follow.

[Melissa in Australia]

we did when our children were very young. mostly we wanted to make sure that our children went to live with a specific relative and that they were encouraged to go to University. Our will was kept in the fireproof safe at the solicitors office. Unfortunate that solicitor has shifted and we cannot remember which solicitor in the next town that all the papers went to. It cost us $1000 close to 16 years ago. we keep meaning to write a new will but haven't yet. This time we are planning to make up our own will and save the money.

[nd293]

I think we may have done a simple will when dd was first born, but we're now 12 years, one son, two countries and a house along and it needs to be updated. I gave particular concerns because the only obvious guardian for our children lives in another country. Our citizenship in Australia will be finalized within the next few months, then I need to try to get a new will done. Ideally I will clarify the immigration aspects - would the non-citizen guardian get a special visa and qualify for benefits to raise the children here? - before I proceed. I have no clue what we will do if the intended guardian would not qualify for a visa (due to age and financial considerations).

[Mama Geek]

We did and will se signing the paperwork shortly. It took us a while to decide on who will get custody of dd if something happens to us, but that is worked out now. We also have a substantial amount of assets so we wanted it all written out.

 

We asked the pastor at a fairly large church that we attend and he gave us the name of an attorney. After looking at her website and then talking to her for an hour she seemed to be pretty on top of things so we used her.

 

Ask around for recommendations.

[Ottakee]

We have set up a trust and a special needs trust for our 3 special needs kids. Upon our death everything goes immediately to the trust and the person we appointed has full access right away. No waiting for court, freezing of the bank accounts, etc. The person that gets the kids also gets the house (paid for). Basically the only thing that doesn't go to the trust is the horses. My friend would get those to do as she sees fit----likely they would stay here with the kids and guardian but if for some reason they couldn't she would get the horses to keep or rehome.

[MinivanMom]

We did up simple wills and power-of-attorney when our oldest was born. We were poor and still in graduate school, so our primary purpose was to name a guardian. We redid everything when we moved to our current state a few years back. We now have more complex wills that set up a trust for the children as well as power-of-attorney, medical/healthcare power-of-attorney, living wills, etc. We are also careful to ensure that our life insurance, retirement/investment accounts, etc. are in order and that we have named beneficiaries. We will probably revise things when our oldest turns 18. I can't imagine not having a will, especially if you have minor children. I would never want decisions about the care and custody of my children left up to the best judgments of whichever family court judge gets assigned to the case. What a nightmare! It is an ugly, ugly thing when a person dies intestate. I have seen horrible scenarios, and I have done everything in my power to try to prevent that for my own family.