Jean in Newcastle Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 do you politely stop them and ask? I see the same teen girl and mom at the library every week when we go to do library school. I've been too shy to go up to them and am also afraid of them feeling like I was being intrusive. What do you do or think about such a scenario? They are sitting off to the side reading so it isn't like we would be standing next to each other in line and chatting. I would have to go purposefully up to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Yes. I used to be really shy and worry I would look silly. Now I just shrug and figure nothing ventured, nothing gained. They might think I'm odd, but they might consider it odd that I see them every week without acknowledging their presence. ETA: spelling errors Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicAnn Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 I do. But I talk to everybody with kids... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Not anymore. I used to and even when they turned out to be other homeschoolers, 9 times out of 10, they looked really suspicious. Like, why are you asking? Why should I care if you homeschool too? Not quite that blatant, but definitely a weird vibe. So now I just don't bother. We have plenty of friends, so... Live and let live. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 I guess the question is, what happens if they are homeschoolers? Would you invite them to join a club, or over to your house, or just greet them as members of the great homeschooling sorority? I think that might help figure out if what you should do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 I've had other moms ask us. We met one family in a park and really hit it off. I am glad the mom took the time to stop and ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 I guess the question is, what happens if they are homeschoolers? Would you invite them to join a club, or over to your house, or just greet them as members of the great homeschooling sorority? I think that might help figure out if what you should do. Yes. If they were receptive, I would do the special handshake with them. And figure out who we knew in common. And talk about curriculum. And local groups and laws and resources. But no one was ever receptive. :001_rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Here in Alaska, homeschoolers are a dime a dozen. So, seeing kids out and about during school hours, you just assume they're fellow homeschoolers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Yes. I used to be really shy and worry I would look silly. Now I just shrug and figure nothing ventured, nothing gained. They might think I'm odd, but they might consider it odd that I see thej every week without acknowledging thier presence. :iagree: Yep, that's me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 22, 2013 Author Share Posted May 22, 2013 Not anymore. I used to and even when they turned out to be other homeschoolers, 9 times out of 10, they looked really suspicious. Like, why are you asking? Why should I care if you homeschool too? Not quite that blatant, but definitely a weird vibe. So now I just don't bother. We have plenty of friends, so... Live and let live. This is my fear. I think it is partly because my kids are older and so is this young teen I see with her mom. When my kids were young, it seemed like just homeschooling was a bond but now that kids are older, it seems like you have to be the "right kind" of homeschooler or at least have some other thing in common for it to mean anything. But homeschooling can be at least a start at finding a potential friend, thus my question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Of course. People ask us all the time. It's like asking kids what grade they are in. It's curiosity and conversation. Homeschooling can feel like a small world and it's nice to widen the circle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 I am an extrovert so doing this would only be very mildly uncomfortable for me if I got a negative reaction or was incorrect in my assumption. You could always say that you homeschool and since you see them a lot, you were wondering if they do, as well. That puts your motive in asking right up front. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 22, 2013 Author Share Posted May 22, 2013 I am an extrovert so doing this would only be very mildly uncomfortable for me if I got a negative reaction or was incorrect in my assumption. You could always say that you homeschool and since you see them a lot, you were wondering if they do, as well. That puts your motive in asking right up front. That's a good way to put it. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 My "gut guess" often is right; however, I don't ask. The families which I can guess to be homeschoolers are those which would have nothing to do with me because I am not of their religion. So no social avenues would open up by my enquiring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 There was a kid once, older than Builder Boy, who played with him in the play area at the library at a time that made me think he MUST be homeschooled. I was dying to ask, because he was so NICE engaging and talking to my son, but I didn't want to creep out his parents by approaching him, and I never did see his parents anywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inmyopinion Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 I ask but I pretty much start full conversations with people in public with anyone who looks at me :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 If it was someone I saw regularly I would probably ask. If someone approached me and asked, I would enjoy having a conversation with them. And I'm an introvert! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2_girls_mommy Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 Funny, but I have never had to do the initiating. People seem to come up to me and ask me about homeschooling at the library all the time. Sometimes the librarian directs them to me if they ask her and I am there. We have been going to the same one for years. I guess we have that homeschooler look :) So I think it is fine if you go and introduce yourself. I have given people info about our co-op and to our state homeschool group and to our girl scout troop in public. So go talk to her.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 I don't usually ask, but often my kids do. If my teens saw another teen like that weekly I am sure dd13 would ask, she is outgoing enough to and eager to make more homeschooling friends. Ds14 would stand off to the side behind her and wait to see what happened before stepping up next to her to introduce himself too. ds9 and dd5 would likely quite loudly ask me if I thought they were so they would hear them I am sure and if they wanted to respond could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mandymom Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 It's funny. I never noticed kids out and about during school hours before we started homeschooling. Now I notice, and there are a bunch. Whenever we go to the mall food court for lunch, there are at least 4 or 5 other families. Homeschooling is incredibly popular here, so no one really thinks twice about seeing kids out of school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 I guess we have that homeschooler look :) Yeah, I had a doctor assume my daughter was homeschooled. Um...? Not sure how or why. I wish a homeschooling mom would come up and talk to me. I'd like a secret handshake. I did have a neighbor who homeschooled, but I never really saw her and mostly saw her kid; funnily enough, I have talked to her more recently since I moved and her child enrolled in school. Go figure. But I am a bit scared of being quizzed about curriculum by someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 I'm another "not any more." Not even with people I am being introduced to....I recently found out that when I met a group of women in the middle of the day for lunch and asked "so are all your kids homeschooled too?" evidently it didn't quite translate as we homeschool, nice to meet others who do too....and people thought I was just being rude and judgey. Which. Whatever. I wasn't so it's annoying they assumed I was.... No way! That's too bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea_lpz Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 I ask! It's always fun to have that connection and you could end up sparking a friendship. Of course you could end up meeting someone unpleasant but I don't mind the risk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 If I consistently saw someone I would ask. As I tell my kids, it never hurts to expand the social circle. I will confess, when on field trips to major museums with a friend of mine we love to play "Homeschooler or Tourist". The people watcher in me loves to speculate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 When my kids were younger I would have asked, because we were desperate to find other homeschoolers! :) Now I only have one left and she is too busy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.