Talk me out of unschooling; I need ideas to inject joy back into our day

[A home for their hearts]

I'm seriously considering unschooling next year. I've been reading a few books on the topic and in a perfect world I would be able to facilitate my dc education rather than direct it. The problem is I'm afraid I have my dc so turned off to learning that it would take them years to deschool and find the joy in learning. I'm afraid if we took this route that we would end up nowhere good. However, when I fantasize about it my dc have found the joy in learning and are eager to learn with ease and interest. I just don't see this happening with my kiddos.

 

On the other hand, we all dread doing school. I hate teaching, they hate being taught. I am reading for this school year to be over. We won't be done until the end of June and I am counting down the days. I am really looking forward to a real summer break. We haven't had one in years. I'm hoping we will be able to just enjoy each other and do some fun things together. I think it will be good for us.

 

I really need some ideas to help us find joy in homeschooling and learning again. I don't want to dread it anymore. I want to enjoy spending time with my children again.

[8filltheheart]

How about a compromise between completely structured traditional education and unschooling? I really love the way we approach school and my kids end up with a solid education. :)

 

I don't normally feel comfortable linking former posts I have written b/c it seems a little weird. :p But I don't have time to type out an explanation and this thread does do a fairly decent job explaining how to incorporate interests into a great learning experience. http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/173293-interest-driven-education-and-real-tea-time/

 

The other thing I often do is start off with something that they really want to study (like Anne of Green Gables, LOTR, Chronicles of Narnia, etc), purchase a pre-fab curriculum for general ideas, and then build/expand from there. B/c we are all interested in the topics, we all enjoy learning about the subjects.

[Lily_Grace]

And what do your children suggest?

 

Ask them. Talk to them. Build a year together. Explore options like online classes or unit studies or other alternatives. Try to hit the core desires with a well rounded plan.

[freeindeed]

Maybe Further Up and Further In (unit study utilizing The Chronicles of Narnia) for your older three children? I suggest this b/c ds10 and I have done it this year and he says this is his BEST year ever. For your younger two, try Five in a Row. It is our favorite curriculum for the young years.

 

[Ellie]

Nope. Sorry. I cannot talk you out of it.

 

It won't take years for your dc to find their joy of learning again. I promise. :-)

 

Keep some household structure--chores and regular meals and personal hygiene and stuff--and parental oversight. Plan some outings, things that *you* think are interesting, and go along together for enjoyment. If you're not already reading aloud, do that (if they'll sit still and listen), from good books, and don't make them narrate back to you or anything. Just read. If they seem to be interested in something, don't overwhelm them with plans to build on that interest. They might only be interested for a minute, and that's ok.

[Karen in CO]

If you do decide to go more toward unschooling - I recommend that you keep electronics turned off during the week and schedule regular visits to the library. When I first started homeschooling my ds, it was at the last minute, and I had not planned anything. We started at the library. I required him to get at least 2 non-fiction and 2 fiction books each week. He had to spend time with each book, but I didn't require that he complete them. Also a regular schedule including waking up in the morning, dressing, chores, and a walk is important to keep your day from feeling like you're babysitting ungrateful kids instead of parenting and facilitating education.

[A home for their hearts]

Nope. Sorry. I cannot talk you out of it.

 

It won't take years for your dc to find their joy of learning again. I promise. :-)

 

Keep some household structure--chores and regular meals and personal hygiene and stuff--and parental oversight. Plan some outings, things that *you* think are interesting, and go along together for enjoyment. If you're not already reading aloud, do that (if they'll sit still and listen), from good books, and don't make them narrate back to you or anything. Just read. If they seem to be interested in something, don't overwhelm them with plans to build on that interest. They might only be interested for a minute, and that's ok.

 

I didn't figure you would talk me out of it. ;) The problem with me reading aloud is I dislike it, and I'm constantly having to tell them to settle down so they can hear what I'm reading. My two older boys love listening to Adventures in Odyssey. They've listened to all the ones at our library probably 4 or 5 times at least. My dd likes to listen to audio books, Percy Jackson seems to be her favorite. She also loves drawing and has taught herself magna using how to draw books and just by looking at pictures. She also enjoyed cake decorating but I've been a mean mom because I don't want to deal with the mess and extra calories a hobby like that would require. She wants to learn to cook which I'm planning on teaching her this summer. My two older boys love legos, my oldestest especially loves Star Wars and has a lot of star war lego sets. DS12 is really amazing at buildling with legos and can get very creative. My ds9 loves sharks. We got a couple of dvd's from the library. The one he watched yestered showed scientist disecting a shark, i thought he wouldn't enjoy it but he loved it! DD5 loves birds and butterflies. We bought a plant, I can't remember what kind, that is suppose to attract butterflies and hummingbirds, so was very excited about that.

 

My main concern about unschooling is the academic subjects. What about math, reading, spelling, writing? How are they suppose to learn what they need to learn if I'm not directing it? My ds9 still can't read. My ds12 struggled with reading as well, but he could read at age 9. He finally is on or very close to grade level? How am I suppose to help ds9 if I don't actively teach him?

[momto2Cs]

We're going to keep the basics - reading, writing, and math - structured, and leave everything else more free-flowing. Not quite schooling, not quite unschooling, but more of a compromise.

[Ellie]

I didn't figure you would talk me out of it. ;) The problem with me reading aloud is I dislike it, and I'm constantly having to tell them to settle down so they can hear what I'm reading.

then don't do it. :-)

 

 

My two older boys love listening to Adventures in Odyssey. They've listened to all the ones at our library probably 4 or 5 times at least. My dd likes to listen to audio books, Percy Jackson seems to be her favorite. She also loves drawing and has taught herself magna using how to draw books and just by looking at pictures. She also enjoyed cake decorating but I've been a mean mom because I don't want to deal with the mess and extra calories a hobby like that would require. She wants to learn to cook which I'm planning on teaching her this summer. My two older boys love legos, my oldestest especially loves Star Wars and has a lot of star war lego sets. DS12 is really amazing at buildling with legos and can get very creative. My ds9 loves sharks. We got a couple of dvd's from the library. The one he watched yestered showed scientist disecting a shark, i thought he wouldn't enjoy it but he loved it! DD5 loves birds and butterflies. We bought a plant, I can't remember what kind, that is supposed to attract butterflies and hummingbirds, so was very excited about that.

sounds like lots of learning going on to me. :-)

 

My main concern about unschooling is the academic subjects. What about math, reading, spelling, writing? How are they supposed to learn what they need to learn if I'm not directing it? My ds9 still can't read. My ds12 struggled with reading as well, but he could read at age 9. He finally is on or very close to grade level? How am I supposed to help ds9 if I don't actively teach him?

 

you're probably not going to do this for the long haul, right? Well...unschool for awhile. Pick up the academics slowly.

 

What you're doing now isn't working, right? The definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing but expecting different results. :-)

 

so, your 9yo doesn't read *at all,* or he doesn't read as well as you wish he would?

[Mommyfaithe]

How about a compromise between completely structured traditional education and unschooling? I really love the way we approach school and my kids end up with a solid education. :)

 

I don't normally feel comfortable linking former posts I have written b/c it seems a little weird. :p But I don't have time to type out an explanation and this thread does do a fairly decent job explaining how to incorporate interests into a great learning experience. http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/173293-interest-driven-education-and-real-tea-time/

 

The other thing I often do is start off with something that they really want to study (like Anne of Green Gables, LOTR, Chronicles of Narnia, etc), purchase a pre-fab curriculum for general ideas, and then build/expand from there. B/c we are all interested in the topics, we all enjoy learning about the subjects.

 

I can say I think 8 and I agree on lots....and in methodology of our homeschools...though her kids are more STEM and mine are...ummmmmm...not. That said, there is nothing wrong with taking the best of all roads. You can have in the back of your mind a list of goals ( or on paper or a yellow not on your phone) whether they are academic, spiritual or physical or whatever and begin to lead in those directions.

 

In my own home, school has become way to much of a chore this past year and we are not digging the change! When learning is an extension of life and comes more naturally, it is less painful to all involved. Because of illness and a crazy work schedule, I have come to rely very heavily on prepared work books and other curricula my kids could do on their own or with little to no planning on my part. It was fine for a season....but it has become rote and very, very boring!

 

Instead of throwing the baby out with the bathwater...so to speak, I have decided to use our workbooks and other curricula as a guide...and as a sort of scope and sequence....so if I have to....I can hand them the work books for the day. Some of my kids actually prefer to use them as the basis of their work and then use what they have learned for deeper study...for example, dd's language arts had many excerpts about heros of WW2 as copywork. She was so interested by the excerpts that she launched into a study of WW2 and read extensively for months on the topic outside of her "school" time and as we were studying the Middle Ages this year...certainly out of sequence...however, she was Able to make all kinds of connections of historical events and political policies etc.

 

Anyway....what others said about having structure to your day is vitally important. I let this slip when I was I'll...and whoa Nellie!!! Getting these kids into a schedule and into normal daily activity is now an ongoing battle! Meals, exercise, reading time, etc. need to happen daily. We have lots of outdoor play time too. All of us! CM would have loved to see me with my cell phone and laptop on a blanket under a tree watching the kiddoes nature along!

 

 

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

:lurk5:

 

OP, I am in the exact same place you are. I am so tired of trying to drag this wagon through the mud! I'm ready to pitch it all and start fresh, but I have no idea how to do that. I especially like Lily_Grace's idea of asking the kids what they they think. I can't believe that hasn't occurred to me before now!

 

I can, however, add this WRT to the suggestion of requiring certain books from the library. Periodically, when I see our reading stagnating, I require the kids to check out one biography, one book of poetry (or about poetry), one nonfiction book of their choice, and one fiction book of their choice whenever we make a library trip. Picture books are fine at this stage. Everything else is up to them. DD10 really complained about this at first--for some reason, poetry seemed really awful to her :confused1: Now she LOVES poetry and never complains when I re-institute the rule.

[birchbark]

Check out URtheMom.com.

[Ellie]

 

 

OP, I am in the exact same place you are. I am so tired of trying to drag this wagon through the mud! I'm ready to pitch it all and start fresh, but I have no idea how to do that. I especially like Lily_Grace's idea of asking the kids what they they think. I can't believe that hasn't occurred to me before now!

 

 

Children don't always know what they think. Sometimes you have to start them in a direction and see which way it goes. :-)

[A home for their hearts]

 

 

 

you're probably not going to do this for the long haul, right? Well...unschool for awhile. Pick up the academics slowly.

 

What you're doing now isn't working, right? The definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing but expecting different results. :-)

 

so, your 9yo doesn't read *at all,* or he doesn't read as well as you wish he would?

 

In a perfect world I would love to unschool k-12 but I just don't think I could do it.

 

My 9yo doesn't read at all. We've tried a few different things this year. We beta tested LOE Foundations, it moved too fast for him but he was able to learn the A-Z phonograms. We didn't AAR for a little while, but it moved too fast for him as well. Currently he's been using Reading Eggs which he seems to enjoy. It's more of a sight-word approach which makes me nervous but it's the only reading program he doesn't complain about and can spend an hour doing which any nagging from me. However, I have yet to see him actually reading outside of reading eggs.

[Hunter]

How is My _ Grader Doing in School? series grades 1-6 has some great unschooling style ideas for the 3Rs.

[Tracy]

I am reading for this school year to be over. We won't be done until the end of June and I am counting down the days. I am really looking forward to a real summer break. We haven't had one in years. I'm hoping we will be able to just enjoy each other and do some fun things together. I think it will be good for us.

 

This is what stuck out to me when I read your post. Everyone needs a break. You need to schedule them regularly.

 

I often fantasize about schooling year round, but we can't because my dh is a teacher. We are forced to take regular breaks, and perhaps that is better than I thought.

[kerenlynne]

Both of my boys have struggled with reading and were very slow readers. We used lots of comic books on the advice of my sister-in-law who swears that Garfield taught her kids to read. Seriously-are there LD's involved? It could be a very difficult and intensive process to learn to read if that is the underlying problem. Either way, I firmly believe in comic books, graphic novels, and DK or other picture books about things they are interested in. I just have boys and I had dreams of reading lovely stories with them and to them, but since day one they were not interested in "Stories". They would look at picture books but I never could get through "Miss Spider" or whatever. They will read or listen to novels now, but still pick out graphic novels or non-fiction books with lots of pictures first. Here is a link to a website about boys and reading that you may or may not find helpful http://www.guysread.com/about/ . I think unschooling sounds great but I have no experience with it. Good luck as you make some choices.

[merry gardens]

"...I am really looking forward to a real summer break. We haven't had one in years...."

Take a summer break and maybe dabble in "unschooling" over the summer.

While you're on break, look at ways to inject joy into your school days so that you won't all dread school when it resumes after your summer break has ended. One idea I like is to go through some subjects quickly more similar to college, rather than have books drag along throughout the year. For instance we'll pick an area of science to study, like geology, and we'll power through the book in a couple months. Then I set aside science for a while to address another subject more in depth, like we may take a writing class as a family for a month. Some subjects we covered every day (like math) until we're finished with that school year's text books. We're towards the end of our school year and we've already most of the work I had planned for the school year.

 

And, I'm going to throw out one idea for your consideration: are you perhaps homeschooling someone(s) with a learning disability? I know from personal experience that learning disorders add an extra challenge to homeschooling. If it might apply, check out the struggling learners board.

[Ellie]

"...I am really looking forward to a real summer break. We haven't had one in years...."

Take a summer break and maybe dabble in "unschooling" over the summer.

 

But see, the summer break would be unschooling. Once she begins to think about it enough to dabble, well, then she's not unschooling. :-)

[justasque]

... we all dread doing school. I hate teaching, they hate being taught. ...

 

I really need some ideas to help us find joy in homeschooling and learning again. I don't want to dread it anymore. I want to enjoy spending time with my children again.

 

Would it help to reboot by considering your goals for your children's education and what path the older ones may be on (college-bound, learning a trade, following a life-long passion), and where you'd like to be five years from now? I find that focusing on the basics can help me to make decisions and sometimes can help me change things up a bit so we keep on the right path. Wipe the slate clean - if you had to start *right now* to plan your children's education, which options would be right for them? For the family? For you? There are *so* many options out there - classical, eclectic/relaxed, unschooling, co-ops, outsourcing, virtual schools, magnet schools, private schools, public schools. You're juggling five kids, and another on the way. You're sounding burned out. What parts of this are you and the kids enjoying? What parts might you want to outsource or otherwise change up for the olders? What can you toss; what would you like to add? What are you doing because you think it's "required" by someone? Is it *really*??? (Days of school? Pish posh. YOU decide if you've done enough to call it a year. Make the rest of the year "library book schooling" and "outside nature study" if you want.) Think outside the box. Mix it up a bit. *Everyone* is sick of school this time of year. The nice days outside are calling us. Take a magnifying glass to the park, and ask another family to go along. Spend a rainy afternoon in the library, just reading. Wind down your year. Take a summer break.

[merry gardens]

 

But see, the summer break would be unschooling. Once she begins to think about it enough to dabble, well, then she's not unschooling. :-)

There's "unschooling" and then there's "not doing school."

 

I knew a couple of families a few years ago who claimed to "unschool" but hearing all their interesting academic pursuits they put my homeschooling to shame! The parents went to a great deal of work to create an environment that enticed and invited their children to learn. When the children expressed an interest in a topic, the parents got right on top of providing resources and opportunities to learn more about it. Child-led learning is what some people call unschooling, but it's dramatically different than just taking off school for the summer.

[Ellie]

There's "unschooling" and then there's "not doing school."

 

I knew a couple of families a few years ago who claimed to "unschool" but hearing all their interesting academic pursuits they put my homeschooling to shame! The parents went to a great deal of work to create an environment that enticed and invited their children to learn. When the children expressed an interest in a topic, the parents got right on top of providing resources and opportunities to learn more about it. Child-led learning is what some people call unschooling, but it's dramatically different than just taking off school for the summer.

 

I'm pretty sure I understand what "unschooling" means, having done that with my own children 25 years ago. :-)

 

Since we've had this same discussion multiple times, I won't go into it again. I'll just say (again) that unschooling doesn't mean parents going to a great deal of work to create an environment that enticed and invited their children to learn.

 

I don't know what you mean by "There's 'unschooling" and then there's 'not doing school.'" To unschool is to help your children learn things in ways that don't look anything like school, the primary source of which is living life and involving them in it.

 

I guess I did actually go into it again, lol. Maybe it's because I feel so strongly about it.

 

At any rate, I still say that the OP wouldn't be "dabbling" in unschooling; she'd live life with her dc during the summer, noticing that they are, in fact, learning all the time, in all of their activities, even the ones (and sometimes especially the ones) which don't look anything like school, even if she doesn't get right on top of providing resources and opportunities to learn more about it. Trying to do that could be equally as tiring as doing what she was doing before, only without a stack of books and a schedule. The goal is to find the joy again, not replace one kind of learning with another.

[merry gardens]

 

I'm pretty sure I understand what "unschooling" means, having done that with my own children 25 years ago. :-)

 

Since we've had this same discussion multiple times, I won't go into it again. I'll just say (again) that unschooling doesn't mean parents going to a great deal of work to create an environment that enticed and invited their children to learn.

 

I don't know what you mean by "There's 'unschooling" and then there's 'not doing school.'" To unschool is to help your children learn things in ways that don't look anything like school, the primary source of which is living life and involving them in it.

 

I guess I did actually go into it again, lol. Maybe it's because I feel so strongly about it.

 

At any rate, I still say that the OP wouldn't be "dabbling" in unschooling; she'd live life with her dc during the summer, noticing that they are, in fact, learning all the time, in all of their activities, even the ones (and sometimes especially the ones) which don't look anything like school, even if she doesn't get right on top of providing resources and opportunities to learn more about it. Trying to do that could be equally as tiring as doing what she was doing before, only without a stack of books and a schedule. The goal is to find the joy again, not replace one kind of learning with another.

 

Yes, I get it that to "unschool" often means to help children learn in ways that doesn't look like traditional school. I know that not every unschooler puts in the same kind of hours and energy that the unschoolers I mentioned did. And I agree with you that the goal should be to find joy again.

 

By "not doing school" I meant not being too concerned about what the children learns-- regardless of the way that in which that occurs. It seems to me like the op would benefit from a little summer break where she's not too worried about what her children are learning, so that while she is on break she can find joy in simply being a parent. When her break is over she may learn to enjoy helping her children to learn once again.

 

As she starts to feel better rested, I think she should try some of what you term "unschooling". But I think she needs some time to simply enjoy her children. Also, I think she needs to explore and learn more about learning disabilities. I think it would be good for her to step away a bit from the situation to gain a fresh perspective. I don't think the break has to be a super-long break three month break away from observing and thought about how and what her children learn, but I think it sounds like she could use a break from doing that. Then, when she's rested, she'll realize that they were busy learning somethings without her. And her burden of helping her children to learn perhaps won't feel so heavy to her once she's rested, regardless of what methods she chooses to use.

[momto2Cs]

Maybe we should refer to it more as child-led learning, rather than unschooling, in regards to what Ellie and Merry Gardens said above.

 

We've been kind of dragging through history and science this year, until I stopped, and found out what the kids themselves are really interested in. My ds is all about physics, automobile history, the history of flight, etc., while dd is enraptured by insects, birds, and Marie Antoinette.

 

I wanted them to have the whole pageant of history available for future, more in-depth studies though, so in addition to reading books about the above subjects, so we'll be reading through either A Little History of the World (Gombrich) OR From Then to Now (Moore), before we take summer break in July. They each will keep a running list of the things - events, people, ideas - that intrigue them. Next fall, we'll be able to start up with THOSE ideas. For science, I have BFSU volume II as kind of a smorgasbord/checklist.

[Ellie]

By "not doing school" I meant not being too concerned about what the children learns-- regardless of the way that in which that occurs.

 

 

ITA.

 

It seems to me like the op would benefit from a little summer break where she's not too worried about what her children are learning, so that while she is on break she can find joy in simply being a parent. When her break is over she may learn to enjoy helping her children to learn once again.

 

 

Unschooling and a summer break are not mutually exclusive. When you're unschooling, you're not worried about what your children are learning. You're simply enjoying being a parent.

 

As she starts to feel better rested, I think she should try some of what you term "unschooling". But I think she needs some time to simply enjoy her children.

 

 

There would be no difference in lifestyle between feeling better rested/enjoying her children and unschooling.

 

 

Also, I think she needs to explore and learn more about learning disabilities. I think it would be good for her to step away a bit from the situation to gain a fresh perspective. I don't think the break has to be a super-long break three month break away from observing and thought about how and what her children learn, but I think it sounds like she could use a break from doing that. Then, when she's rested, she'll realize that they were busy learning somethings without her. And her burden of helping her children to learn perhaps won't feel so heavy to her once she's rested, regardless of what methods she chooses to use.

 

 

Huh. Nothing she wrote said "learning disabilities" to me, but maybe you are more experienced with learning disabilities than I. :-)

 

Under no circumstances can I imagine unschooling as being a "burden." o_0 Child-led learning, maybe; unschooling...o_0

[SweetMissMagnolia]

I can soooo relate to so many of these posts---with a kitchen remodel gone wrong having to do 1/3 of the work over and all the new health issues that have popped up with husband's dad....I just want to start fresh....I would like a little more structured studies with the basics but it's going to be a rough road getting the kiddo back into things again.....

[JennW in SoCal]

First of all -- I agree with other posters that you really do need to take a break this summer and just be mom. Even if you still are doing things that are homeschool-like, such as working on reading or teaching a child how to cook, doing those things because you are mom rather than because you are homeschooling can lift off that psychological burden. It sounds illogical, but it sure worked for me.

 

Someone also mentioned the benefits of comic books in learning to read. My kids both enjoyed Garfield, Peanuts and Calvin and Hobbes. One cemented his reading skills through collections of jokes for kids, and we suffered through a few months of his trying out every knock knock joke on us. The other was obsessed with a certain video game and studied the big trade paperback of tips and cheats for that game -- he went from a kindergarten/1st grade reading level to probably a middle school level in a matter of months thanks to his intense studying of that book.

 

My main concern about unschooling is the academic subjects. What about math, reading, spelling, writing? How are they suppose to learn what they need to learn if I'm not directing it? My ds9 still can't read. My ds12 struggled with reading as well, but he could read at age 9. He finally is on or very close to grade level? How am I suppose to help ds9 if I don't actively teach him?

 

Others have also addressed this, but I wanted to chime in. Most of my 12 years of homeschooling consisted of the 3Rs being covered in the morning with everything else being interest-led or unschooled. Math was very mommy-directed, and spelling or grammar was workbook based and neither one done daily - I usually switched days on those. Reading wasn't just literature, but science and history through biographies, non-fiction and historical fiction. And lots of that reading came from audiobooks. Writing often was copy-work or narrations from that week's reading. I even created a couple of interest-based high school courses to cover history. My kids loved their logic puzzle books and always seemed to think they were getting to have fun instead of doing a school subject!

 

Electronics were not allowed til after 4pm and lots of educational options were available for them to choose from, whether educational computer games or NOVA or other science videos. We went to the library weekly, and they had outside activities that helped give a rhythm to our week.

 

So yeah, I'm basically repeating what other wise posters have written! Take a break this summer don't be afraid to unstructure part of your school routine come fall.

[merry gardens]

Huh. Nothing she wrote said "learning disabilities" to me, but maybe you are more experienced with learning disabilities than I. :-)

 

Under no circumstances can I imagine unschooling as being a "burden." o_0 Child-led learning, maybe; unschooling...o_0

 

Yes. I have more experience with learning disabilities than many. The mere fact that she felt overwhelmed already put possible learning challenges on my radar. Plus, then I read post #7 where she said, "My ds9 still can't read. My ds12 struggled with reading as well, but he could read at age 9." She's working to the point of exhaustion trying to teach her nine year old to read and he's not reading. To me that says, "Something's up." Making sure my children got some type of education got much easier once my child with the serious reading challenges learned to read, but he still faces challenges that are beyond normal with writing and spelling. So, yes, when I read about a mom struggling with educating her children, I am alert to possibility of learning disabilities. I will add that I find great wisdom and support on the WTM Learning Challenges and Special Needs boards.

 

And yes, I can also easily imagine how a mother of five with one on the way would feel "burdened" by unschooling, homeschooling--or even sending the kids off to school every morning! I hope she's able to re-discover the joy of caring for her wonderful blessings.

[A home for their hearts]

Thanks everyone for your advice and support. I am very overwhelmed right now. My head is spinning with all of the educational choices that are available. I think I research too much and instead of it helping me, I feel burdened of what is the right choice. I think this is part of the reason I am burnt out. My two boys do struggle with reading though I have never had them tested. I have posted and gotten advice on the special needs bored. My ds12 went through 4 weeks of vision therapy which I think helped but he still seemed to manage to learn to read without much instruction from me. Something just finally clicked in his brain and he began to read. I gave him an online reading assesment a couple of weeks ago, and he really surprised me. By that assessement he is reading at a 6th grade level! I've been a little more worried about my ds9 because I've compared him to my ds12. By age 9 ds12 couldn't read single syllable words, ds9 has to sound out cvc words even ones he's seen over and over again. I will be making an appointment with the eye doctor soon to have his eyes tested.

 

I think there are many things that have led to my burn out and I'm trying to address them. I'm hoping by taking the summer off I can come back to a place of peace and then decide if unschooling is for us.

[8filltheheart]

Thanks everyone for your advice and support. I am very overwhelmed right now. My head is spinning with all of the educational choices that are available. I think I research too much and instead of it helping me, I feel burdened of what is the right choice. I think this is part of the reason I am burnt out. My two boys do struggle with reading though I have never had them tested. I have posted and gotten advice on the special needs bored. My ds12 went through 4 weeks of vision therapy which I think helped but he still seemed to manage to learn to read without much instruction from me. Something just finally clicked in his brain and he began to read. I gave him an online reading assesment a couple of weeks ago, and he really surprised me. By that assessement he is reading at a 6th grade level! I've been a little more worried about my ds9 because I've compared him to my ds12. By age 9 ds12 couldn't read single syllable words, ds9 has to sound out cvc words even ones he's seen over and over again. I will be making an appointment with the eye doctor soon to have his eyes tested.

 

I think there are many things that have led to my burn out and I'm trying to address them. I'm hoping by taking the summer off I can come back to a place of peace and then decide if unschooling is for us.

 

It sounds like you are experiencing LDs. My 2 dyslexic sons really struggled with learning to read. One started reading on grade level around the end of 2nd grade, but was still a slow reader. The other didn't read on grade level until older and struggled through 3rd and 4th and was barely reading on a5th grade level in5th. He is now in 11th and is still a slow reader. However, to encourage you, both of these young men are now academically high achievers.

 

While an eye exam might prove useful (my ds does not have VT needs and already wore glasses when I sought a COVD evaluation), seeking an evaluation or understanding dyslexia and techniques for helping dyslexics learn to read should probably also be on your summer reading list.

 

Definitely take some time off to re-energize. It is hard when they struggle to learn.

 

 

[A home for their hearts]

It sounds like you are experiencing LDs. My 2 dyslexic sons really struggled with learning to read. One started reading on grade level around the end of 2nd grade, but was still a slow reader. The other didn't read on grade level until older and struggled through 3rd and 4th and was barely reading on a5th grade level in5th. He is now in 11th and is still a slow reader. However, to encourage you, both of these young men are now academically high achievers.

 

While an eye exam might prove useful (my ds does not have VT needs and already wore glasses when I sought a COVD evaluation), seeking an evaluation or understanding dyslexia and techniques for helping dyslexics learn to read should probably also be on your summer reading list.

 

Definitely take some time off to re-energize. It is hard when they struggle to learn.

 

It's good to know your sons are doing well. I think I've spent the last 5 years studying dyslexia. I am dyslexic so I'm pretty sure they are. We've used a lot of different approaches until I decided to back off with my ds12 and that's when he finally took off.

[Susan in TX]

, ds9 has to sound out cvc words even ones he's seen over and over again.

 

 

My son had this problem. Teaching him to read with phonics instruction did not work. Once I started teaching him using the sight word method, his reading improved a lot. I did not drop phonics instruction entirely, but I took the emphasis off of it. I stopped making him sound out words he didn't know when he was reading aloud and just told him what the word was. We used the books from the Ginn Reader Series from the 60s. I also used[ Scholastic's "100 Words Kids Need to Read by -- Grade" Series and Spectrum Dolch Sight Word Activities workbooks. For phonics instruction I used Cick and Read Phonics and Rod and Staff Phonics workbooks.

 

Teaching my son to read was incredibly difficult. At one point in time the most I hoped for was to get him functionally literate, but by 6th grade he was reading on grade level. He is 16 now and has no problem with reading.

 

Susan in TX

[AngelBee]

taking notes...

[Sahamamama]

I'm seriously considering unschooling next year. I've been reading a few books on the topic and in a perfect world I would be able to facilitate my dc education rather than direct it. The problem is I'm afraid I have my dc so turned off to learning that it would take them years to deschool and find the joy in learning. I'm afraid if we took this route that we would end up nowhere good. However, when I fantasize about it my dc have found the joy in learning and are eager to learn with ease and interest. I just don't see this happening with my kiddos.

 

On the other hand, we all dread doing school. I hate teaching, they hate being taught. I am reading for this school year to be over. We won't be done until the end of June and I am counting down the days. I am really looking forward to a real summer break. We haven't had one in years. I'm hoping we will be able to just enjoy each other and do some fun things together. I think it will be good for us.

 

I really need some ideas to help us find joy in homeschooling and learning again. I don't want to dread it anymore. I want to enjoy spending time with my children again.

 

 

Sometimes, I struggle with this, too. I don't hate teaching (most days), and the children still enjoy learning (in various ways). But I find myself wanting to simply enjoy being with them as a mother, and lately, I feel a seismic shift coming on.

 

We moved three weeks ago. So now here we are, in this beautiful country setting, and I was figuring out how to get "back into the full swing of academics." Why? I think it's because we have been conditioned to believe that Subjects X, Y, and Z constitute "school," while most other things in life are peripheral to it. At our house, for example, we could be learning how to care for fruit trees, but the "teacher" in me thinks we need to get back to Latin, right? ;) We might learn more Science by studying something REAL, and learn Latin in the process, LOL. :)

 

Yesterday we were working out in the yard, clearing up under the pine trees, and the thought hit me, "This is it. This is what we SHOULD be doing. It's okay. Really, it's okay." I was amazed at how they worked, for such young children, how they worked together as team mates, how they kept me company (from a distance) while I battled bad spiders in the decrepit wood pile. It was very "unschooly," perhaps. No guilt for me. Just none. I don't know if I would feel differently if my children were older, though.

 

Today, the shift is continuing. I'm not sure I am going to fight it any more. It's not laziness, it's a new direction. We were walking out by the fruit trees, and (again) the urge to "make this the curriculum" was overwhelming. I could say, "What is this tree? Find out. Write (or tell me) about it. Where does it grow? What are its seeds like? What fruit does it bear? When? How do you care for it? Prune it? When? How?"

 

Or, across the fence, the horses. For my horse-lover, the questions could be, "What can you write (or tell me) about that horse? What kind of horse is it? What is its coloration called? What are its parts? How do you care for it? What does it eat?" And so on.

 

My mechanically-minded daughter could be drawn into all the many fix-its that are happening around the house now. For example, we have to fix some minor plumbing on the tub. Our conversation has been filled with information about what's inside the walls (pipes & drains), where the water comes from, how the well pump works, where the dirty water goes, how the septic system works ("Ew, gross!"), and so on.

 

I've been explaining things and asking questions all month and calling it school, LOL. So now, I'll ask you a few questions:

 

You say that you hate teaching. What DO you enjoy doing? Can you do that, and share it with your children?

You say that they hate being taught, but by this I'm assuming you mean they don't enjoy whatever you've been doing "in school." What DO they enjoy doing? Why not simply STOP doing whatever you are doing, and start doing something else now? Why wait until June? Why? Do you have to finish every book or text or course? Does it really matter? If so, why? If not, why torture each other?

 

Dread is fear of the future. What would a future without fear or dread look like for you? For them? I hope it helps to explore these questions, especially with your oldest children. :grouphug:

[Sahamamama]

My main concern about unschooling is the academic subjects. What about math, reading, spelling, writing? How are they suppose to learn what they need to learn if I'm not directing it?

 

I wanted to add that, even with the move, we have still kept up with Math and Spelling. I don't think we could ever drop Math, and Phonics/Spelling is next on the list. We have a regular routine, including chores that the girls do, and then we settle down to our quiet work time. For now, we are covering most read alouds with audio books -- Jim Weiss, SOTW, Adventures in Odyssey, and Your Story Hour. Add to this all the hands-on work we are doing around the house, getting to know a new community, and plenty of time outdoors, and that's a full day. :)

 

I've been trying to aim at this: A joy-filled work day, with Math in it. HTH.

[mamamindy]

 

I've been trying to aim at this: A joy-filled work day, with Math in it. HTH.

 

This! This is what I want for us! And it is my goal! :D

[loftmama]

Just wanted to throw in my experience with a late reader. At 9, my now 12yo ds did not read anything except Calvin & Hobbes. Maybe. Maybe he started reading them at age 10. It took a huge leap of faith but I stopped teaching him. I decided to wait until he was ready. I looked for signs all the time. It wasn't till he was closer to 11 that it took off in leaps and bounds. Since that time, I have read about how eye development can be quite late in some children. I totally believe this was the case in my son. He loved being read to every single day but hated reading and then one day, it just all came into focus, so to speak, and he was off... HTH.

[momto2Cs]

I can, however, add this WRT to the suggestion of requiring certain books from the library. Periodically, when I see our reading stagnating, I require the kids to check out one biography, one book of poetry (or about poetry), one nonfiction book of their choice, and one fiction book of their choice whenever we make a library trip. Picture books are fine at this stage. Everything else is up to them. DD10 really complained about this at first--for some reason, poetry seemed really awful to her :confused1: Now she LOVES poetry and never complains when I re-institute the rule.

 

I was thinking last night about different ways for me to approach content areas with my kids, and your post struck a chord with me. I then re-read the intro to TWTM, and came across the following:

 

On each library visit, I had them check out the following books: one science book, one history book, one art or music appreciation book, one practical book (a craft, hobby, or "how-to"), a biography or autobiography, a classic novel (or adaptation suited to age), an imaginative storybook, a book of poetry. They were allowed to choose the titles, but I asked them to follow this pattern. And they were also allowed to check out other books on any topic they pleased.

 

It was like a light bulb went off! Now, I might not require that much every week until they got used to it, maybe every two weeks? And maybe require a certain number of history/science/social studies documentaries as well... still thinking this through obviously, but I wanted to thank you for reminding me of this, and turning that light on!

[Soror]

I was thinking last night about different ways for me to approach content areas with my kids, and your post struck a chord with me. I then re-read the intro to TWTM, and came across the following:

 

On each library visit, I had them check out the following books: one science book, one history books, one art or music appreciation book, one practical book (a craft, hobby, or "how-to"), a biography or autobiography, a classic novel (or adaptation suited to age), an imaginative storybook, a book of poetry. They were allowed to choose the titles, but I asked them to follow this pattern. And they were also allowed to check out other books on any topic they pleased.

 

It was like a light bulb went off! Now, I might not require that much every week until they got used to it, maybe every two weeks? And maybe require a certain number of history/science/social studies documentaries as well... still thinking this through obviously, but I wanted to thank you for reminding me of this, and lighting a fire for me!

 

Interesting. I do that some with ds. He often picks a science book and a how-to. We haven't done many biographies though and don't do enough history. He has really taken to poetry this year but he doesn't always pick a poetry book, I have thought I should encourage that interest more.

 

We usually do some kind of doc or educational show after lunch here as well for our informal science and history. It gives me rest time and is a treat for them.

[A home for their hearts]

Update

 

We took this week off. I just really needed a break from everything educational. I spent a very minumal time on the boards. I didn't research curriculum, we did no school what so ever. I let my dc do whatever they wanted. They spent a lot of there time watcing tv, playing on the computer or Xbox, but they also spent some time with each other playing, which is very rare for all of them to play together. I was also able to spend a little more one on one time with my little ones. The break was very much needed. There were a couple of days that I actually felt truly happy, I haven't had that feeling in a long time. Having the pressure lifted made me feel like a new person. I found myself wanting to spend time with my dc rather than trying to get away from them. I found myself saying yes more to simple requests that I usually would say no to. We baked cookies, and a pumpkin pie. Yesterday I we sat done and talk about what subjects they liked this year and what they didn't. I was a little surpised by some of their responses. My dd13 said she like the writing curriculum we are using which completely surprised me because she ususally complains when we are doing it. My ds12 said he didn't mind learning cursive, when I thought all along he hated it, (I'm pretty sure he is dysgraphic any written work is very hard for him), he told me he wanted to keep practicing it. He also said he was ok with the math we are using but it got harder towards the end. Then I asked them if there was something that they would like to learn that we haven't yet. My dd13 loves Greek Myths, she said she wanted to learn more about them and about Ancient Greece, as well as Art. We haven't done art at all, she loves to draw and has taught herself but has asks me quite frequently if we can do art for school. She also said that she wants to learn about artists and their work which really surprised me. My ds12 said he enjoys learning about space and really likes watching documentaries about space with his dad. I gave them permission to learn whatever they want to learn outside of what we are already doing. I told them that they don't have to wait for me to teach them something. If they have a desire to learn about something then they can look for information at the library, on netflix, and I can help them look things up on the internet. They seemed to be pretty happy about this.

 

While I don't know if we will unschool, I have a better feeling now of what we need. We are going to finish science, history and some language arts for the year. I'm hoping to be done by the end of June then we will take a much needed break and go from there.

 

Thanks everyone for your encouragement and support!

[loftmama]

You sound like one smart momma - to take off time like that, talk and listen to them. I'm often surprised by what my kids will say they like and don't like when we do this - which isn't often enough. Sometimes I think just having the time and space and freedom for them to acknowledge this often goes a long way to get rid of the complaints. At the beginning of the year, I set-up the unachievable goal of doing this every Friday. That happened for about 3 or 4 Fridays, so I changed it to once a month. That worked for a couple months. Since then, we've only done that once, which was a few weeks ago, when I was trying to figure out next year's curriculum. Those conversations really help. Kudos to you!