Tell me about your experiences with a child "giving up" a nickname.

[unsinkable]

Or yourself or anyone you are close with

 

My oldest son (teenager) has decided to start calling himself and introducing himself by his given name, not his nickname.

 

His choice and I'm fine with it.

 

It's just going to be different.

[Splash]

My daughter did this around age 5. Her name isn't related to her nickname Lily. It was really hard to retrain myself but I did. She finally decided certain people in her life could continue to call her by her nickname and that was fine but everyone else was told to use full name. Now we know when people came into our lives by what name they call her. Funny thing is when I want her attention she responds best if I call her nickname. She is now almost 12 and suddenly started telling people her name is nickname. My brother also went through this as a child he was Johnny and in high school and on he went by John. I still called him Johnny until 5 yrs ago when he had a son they named John and call Johnny. Now I try to always use John, but it is hard to always remember.

Oh and I'm Kimberly who has always gone by Kimberly.

[Spryte]

I had a nickname as a child, and didn't successfully change it completely till college. But since then, the only people who still use my nickname are family members who knew me as a child. That's okay with me.

 

My brother had a nickname that he changed in college, too, FWIW. I don't think anyone calls him by his nickname now, other than our mother.

 

A nephew recently started going by his given name, rather than a nickname, and he seems to be making the transition well. It's harder for family, but again, he's very graceful about family slip ups.

[unsinkable]

Thanks, Splash.

[unsinkable]

Thanks, Spryte.

[Cinder]

We knew a family where the son "changed" his name several times. He's a Jr., so the parents initially called him by a nickname of the middle name. As he got older he wanted to shorten the nickname so it was not so little-boy-cutesy. Around middle school age he decided to go by the full middle name. We'd heard that when he got to high school he changed to full first name; the dad went by the nickname for the first name. His parents were very supportive. When the changes first happened they'd mention it whenever someone referred to the son by the "old" name. They just said, "He prefers (name) now." That was it. And, of course, they referred to him/called him by the "new" name too.

[Irene Lynn]

My parents gave me the cutesy nickname that goes with my real first name. Once I got old enough to protest against it, they still thought I was too young to know what I liked. (insert fierce growly face) I had to get old enough for them to believe me before I could get them to stop. I also tried to switch to my middle name in 2nd grade (and was so proud of my decision), but was told that I couldn't. My mother, with great logic, *cough*, said that they had named me *insert first name here* and that was my name. I somehow thought that they had also given me my middle name, but I must have been mistaken. Anyway, once I was older it just seemed too awkward to change my name. It had been hard enough to drop the nickname. I manage to use my middle name for playing games or other odds and ends just for my own fun.

 

A friend of ours has a lovely high school aged daughter, who has requested a name change. She was called by her first name, but now she wants to be called by her middle name. I actually think her middle name suits her better, but I still have a hard time remembering to use it. Sometimes I end up calling her by her first and middle names together. She is nice and will answer to both without a fuss. Her own mother switches back and forth. My dh still hasn't caught on, so I always have to clarify who I am talking about, if I use her middle name instead of her first.

[*Lulu*]

I tried changing my name growing up, but it never stuck outside of the theater group I worked with.

 

My parents were acctually supportive, although my mom told me that she reserved the right to call me the old version of my name.

[unsinkable]

Thanks, ladies.

 

I like hearing the different stories.

[Guest inoubliable]

I've known a lot of kids to do this in their teens. Mostly boys. Hmm.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Just last weekend I saw someone from my childhood at an event. I went up to reintroduce myself. I used my old nickname because that is what he would recognize. People who know me now use my new name - including family and friends who knew me from back then - they slip up now and then but 90% of the time call me my current name. People who had lost touch don't know my current name and I don't expect them to. If I were to be in a situation where they were going to be part of my life again, I would tell them "I go by _____________ now."

[musicianmom]

I gave up my nickname at age 5. I was a total brat about it, sorry to say. Somehow I got it in my head that anyone who called me by my nickname was doing it on purpose to insult me. So the people in my life got trained really fast to call me by my right name in order to avoid the storm.

[unsinkable]

I gave up my nickname at age 5. I was a total brat about it, sorry to say. Somehow I got it in my head that anyone who called me by my nickname was doing it on purpose to insult me. So the people in my life got trained really fast to call me by my right name in order to avoid the storm.

 

This made me LOL.

 

 

[Starr]

Ds 17 introduces himself with his given name but he doesn't mind his nickname. He has never liked the common nicknames for his given name. The hardest thing in our house is when dd at 8 decided she wanted to be called by her *real* name. She had been Dorothy Gayle for so long and sometimes Dorothy was being someone else. I told her she hadn't used her real name in 5 years so it would take a while. lol

[happyhomemaker]

I had a cousin who did that. With family and friends, she was polite but consistent about correcting people who used the wrong name. As for school, she made the switch when she went to middle school so it was a bit easier to get new friends and teachers to get used to the new name. It was weird at first, but after a few years I didn't even think about her nickname anymore.

 

Dh changed his name from nickname to full name when he was 7. Apparently he just announced to his mother one day that he would no longer go by his nickname because it was a baby name. I have never heard anyone in his family use his nickname so obviously the transition was successful.

 

I changed my name from nickname to full name in third grade when I went to a new school. My older cousin (yes, the same one that changed her name) convinced me it was cool and grown up. It lasted maybe a year. I had a hard time answering to it, and I never corrected anyone who called me by my nickname. Ultimately, I just wasn't that into it and went back to my nickname. I think the success of a name change largely has to do with the degree to which the person really wants to change it.

[bobbeym]

When DS15 started kindy, he insisted on being called by his given name by anyone at school. It took a few years before it faded and eventually he went back to introducing himself by his nickname.

 

My youngest brother shortened his nickname after returning from Iraq. He felt he needed a different name after his experience there. That didn't last but a few months, and I'm glad because it was very hard for all of us to remember to call him by the short version.

 

My oldest brother decided a few years ago that the nickname he used with his friends was going to be his name everywhere. Interestingly enough though, none of the family ever had a problem transitioning to the nickname and now it seems odd when it's not used.

 

I didn't ever have a nickname, but I did change the spelling of my name when I was 12. My parents usually still forget though.

[twoxcell]

My oldest has a name with two nickname options one that sounds more babyish. We have always called him by the more babyish one and his full name. Recently he is shifting to the more mature nickname. All of his swim team friends and coaches call him by the mature one. That is how he introduces himself now. I now call him by all three at different times. It is hard not to call him by the original nickname but I try in public to use the other. He doesn't seem to mind about what we call him(my dh, dc and I).

[ladydusk]

M-girl was named the name of one of the Little Women and we fully expected to use the same nickname (which is also her initials - M E G). Before she was 1 she adamantly told us that was *not* her name, her name was the long version. We never use the nickname LOL.

 

ETA: When I was in First Grade, I tried to switch to my middle name because I hate (and still hate) my first name: Dawn. It even sounds like Blah. Anyway, my First Grade teacher (actually, it was the long term sub while my teacher was on maternity leave) told me I wasn't aloud allowed to change. I've always been bitter about that. (Edited ... can't believe I used the wrong word!)

[LazyDazy]

Yes, my brother was called by a babyish nickname until he began 4th grade when he changed it to the shortened version of the nickname. That worked for school and about half of the family fairly quickly, the remainder stuck with the original nickname and he was fine with it. By the time he was in high school the rest of the family had become accustom to the shortened nickname. He was fine with either name and answered to both.

 

My nephew used a nickname all the way through school. He decided to use his given name once he started out in the "real world". He didn't feel his nickname was "grown-up" enough. He never asked family or friends to stop using his nickname though so he answers to both.

[Tita Gidge]

I tried to give up my nickname (it's Gidge, btw), but it didn't go over well.

 

Not because my family minded, it was just too ingrained in their minds and mouths :)

 

They kept forgetting, and I finally realized I'd be Gidge til I died.

 

FTW B)

[Parrothead]

I went from a shortened version of my real name to my real name to my nickname.

 

The shortened version I didn't mind so much growing up. It was just normal. Then when I went to work in a different state everyone used my real name. At some point I acquired Chuck or Chucki. Now when I go visit my parents they sometimes use the diminutive. I can't stand it. Mostly because I've decided that my given name is ridiculous and horrible.

 

If it wouldn't hurt my parents I'd legally change it to Chuck.

[MinivanMom]

Dh gave up his nickname after graduating from high school. His parents insisted on continuing to call him by the nickname; they absolutely refused to call him by his given name. It caused friction for a lot of years. They finally had a big confrontation over the issue that resulted in them finally giving up the nickname, but they still refused to call him by his given name. They started addressing him as "Son" and "Bud". By then dh was in his mid-20's so that really didn't go over well. At the time I was baffled, because - hey - they gave him the name. I thought they were just super-attached to the nickname (and a wee bit controlling). Since then they have refused to call one of our children by her given name (because they didn't like it) and for years refused to call one of their other granddaughters by her name (because mil was mad they didn't name the granddaughter after her). Clearly, they have name issues.

 

In general you should call people what they want to be called. It's just the nice, respectful thing to do. Your name is a big part of your identity, so it's pretty insulting when a person you're close to calls you the wrong name. On the other hand, I do understand that it can be hard to make a switch when you've been calling someone by a nickname for many years. People forget so you have to be patient with those mistakes (within reason).

[MusicMama]

My cousin decided to no longer go by his nickname, and wanted to be called by his full first name. It had to do with a divorce and adoption etc...a lot of emotion tied to it. My grandmother, who was very active in caring for him during that period of time, had difficulty remembering to call him by his given name. Finally, she took out old photos and went through them, looking at her grandson and saying aloud the given name. I always thought that was so sweet of her, to work so hard to go by her young grandson's wishes.

[LostSurprise]

I changed over in college. It was easy to do so, since my given name was on the paperwork I filled out and my nickname was based on years of my mother doing my school paperwork. My parents even put my nickname on my social security card. I changed both my first and last names when I got married. I just think my given name is more sophisticated.

 

My family was strangely acquiescent about the whole thing. When they found out my friends called me by my given name they tried to follow suit. Personally, I prefer family to call me by my nickname. It gives me a feeling of history. Eventually they broke new ground and exchanged my old nickname for a newer, shorter nickname. :tongue_smilie: My husband, my friends, pretty much everyone calls me this new nickname. Only my grandmothers, aunts, and uncles call me the original nickname.

 

 

My second son has been called equally by his given name and a nickname. At 10 or 11 he let us know in a round about way that he prefers his given name. He's very gracious about people who still call him his nickname but we try our best. I hope dh isn't too disappointed (that one was for him).

[MistyMountain]

My son goes by his nickname. I realize when he gets older he may chose to go by the shortened version of his nick name or his full name and I would be fine with that. I knew that was a possibility. I would personally have a hard time calling him something else though. I always known my brother by his longer nick name that is similar to my son's in that it has a shorter more mature version and a longer version that can be seen as kiddish. My brother now goes by his shortened version but I still call him the other nick name. A friend changed her name to her middle name and I can't help but call her the other name. It just becomes ingrained. When my husband slipped out what ds's name was going to be before he was born my brother told us to not call him by the name he goes by. lol

[Mandylubug]

I did in middle school. I went from my nickname of Mandy to Amanda. I allowed family to continue to call me Mandy. I even started dating my DH as Amanda but once I decided I liked him I told him to call me Mandy. His family still slips up and calls me Amanda here and there. I go by Amanda as my business name now as well. The double name usage just comes naturally. My middle son has a nickname as well but introduces himself with his given name to adults and kids he doesn't know. Seems he is following in my footsteps lol