RoughCollie Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 First, I very much appreciate the prayers that have been said for my Mom. My mom's surgery for endometrial cancer is 4/29. It will be robotic. She has to go next week to see her cardiologist so he can consult with the oncologist. I guess her kidney failure problem (39% function) isn't impacted by the cancer surgery. She is also having a CAT scan next week. The cancer is likely stage 1 or 2, and if so, the surgery will cure it. She has read about the surgery on the internet and now thinks she will not need help. She read that a person who has the robotic surgery will be able to return to work in 3 days and will be able to drive w/in 10 days. This fictional patient is obviously not 78 years old, isn't nearly deaf, and doesn't have several major health problems. This fictional patient also has plenty of stamina, and is likely in good physical shape, unlike my mother. So I am still going there, only now I hope she will be recovered within 3-4 weeks. My sister is going to try to find someone to take care of the 9 cats she has because she took in a pregnant stray and couldn't find homes for 7 of the kittens. If she can do that (and she is Very Picky), she will come to Atlanta with her personal and elderly cat and stay in a motel near my mom since I will have high-prey drive Aidan with me. She is also going to try to find a camera system that will broadcast continuously to a website so she can make sure the cat caregiver is doing the job properly. She will be driving 1100 miles because this will be easier on the cat than flying. Plus, she has to take a little plane (I guess a commuter-type plane) to the nearest big airport and that airline won't let the cat fly in the cabin. I'm not clear on these details. If she stays for a week, it will mean she has to take 2 weeks off from work, so I figure that's how long she'll stay. My mother's attitude now is that she can take care of herself, and she doesn't want my sister and I to make it harder on her (!) by coming to take care of her. She refuses, 100%, to go to a convalescent home. She will consider going to the Ritz Carlton for a few days -- that turned out not to be a joke. She thinks all she needs is room service. She is not suffering from dementia. She is merely a huge control freak who is in denial and/or is freaking out because she won't be in total control of what happens to her and she's probably really scared too. She denies being scared ... this has suddenly become a happy little walk in the park, according to her. Since she is elderly and in poor health, I let her be in control when I am with her so she will be happy. That only means that II do not get to do what I want to do because we dance to her tune. This can be frustrating, but it's never anything super important that I want to do. I am going to go there, of course, and I will take good care of her and do what she wants me to do within reasonable limits. As long as whatever she wants doesn't hurt her physically, I'm up for it. And she really is not demented. This is all typical of my mother. The timing works out well for me in that DS3 ought to be recovered from his surgery exactly when I have to leave. Please pray for her. Thank you, RC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 Wow. You've got your hands full! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilaclady Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 Praying Rougcollie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 Thanks for updating. Praying for all parties. but especially you and your mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 Prayers are with you, RC! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 :grouphug: Praying it goes well... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 Prayers for you....sigh! What a situation! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 wow, that sound very difficult. I have found that doctors always underestimate the recovery time. I don't know if you can convince your mom of this. Is there anyway you can call the doctor's office and explain that she if refusing to have family around to help post-op? Maybe they can step in and play hard-ball with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 Thanks for the update. Will continue to pray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 we are praying for you and your mom. i keep thinking about this though. she is mentally alert. she is (maybe) choosing to not have people come. does she get to choose? i am saying this being two weeks post op from laparospic surgery, and two weeks away from the next one. one of our adult daughters announced she was coming, and when.... and i said "no". i meant "no". we found a time for her to come when it would work better for me. i rarely come from this place, but right now it has to work for me, because i am the one we are all trying to have survive. if it doesn't work for me, or i don't think it will, then it isn't happening. and if it becomes self-evident that i should have said yes, she will come at the last minute. this is hard on her, because she really wants to come and can see how she could be helpful. for me, she is a "take charge" kind of person..... and i don't want to be taken charge of. its really that simple for me. if i end up really much sicker than anyone thinks, that will be a godsend. i don't know if it helps at all to see how this might be from the patient's persective, but i thought it might. you of course know your own situation best..... and your mother. fwiw, ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted April 5, 2013 Author Share Posted April 5, 2013 Ann, my Mom is back to wanting me to come. She wants my sister to come, too. I think we will go through this cycle a lot in the next 3 weeks. She has decided (finally!) to go on the diet she is supposed to have for chronic kidney failure, too. Debbi, if the doctor plays hardball with her, it won't work. She has to think everything is her idea. Thank you all for your prayers! RC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 Oh, dear. Sending prayers and best wishes. ((( hugs ))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 Still praying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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