swellmomma Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 We were at the dance studio today for acro classes for 3 of the kids. Because we are there for 3 hours my kids bring their portable dvd players to watch when it is not their turn (dd13 first, then dd5, then dd13 again with ds9- 1 hours classes). ANyway this woman brought her daughter in and was apparently watching a girl from the thursday night age 5-7 class. This girl has decided that pranks are fun, only her idea of what a prank is is not a prank at all. After dumping garbage all over the locker room (which I cleaned up while her babysitter sat on her butt and watched), to taking belonging out of cubbies and bags to hide them (Again *I* told her to return everything and not touch again while the babysitter said and did nothing). To then taking ds9's backpack and portable dvd player and throwing them from where he put them while in class to the floor. I reprimanded her for that, and only then did the babysitter say "don't touch other people's stuff" Well the dvd player is broken, the screen is shattered inside. I am so ticked off right now. I emailed the dance studio teacher/owner to let her know what happened, though I do not hold her accountable. I wanted to be sure she could address it with this girl and her mom, especially since last week we got a phone call on the Thursday night about a cell phone going missing from the locker room. It would have been while the aged 5-7 year olds were in there getting ready for class which was right after the lyrical class. I would not be surprised if this girl had something to do with it. I already messaged the owner, and ds knows I will get him another dvd player (he just got this one for xmas and had been taking care of it). So just needed to vent for a moment. Seriously people, if the child under your care, whether or own or another, is acting like a brat and damaging the property of others get off your butt and deal with it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 They should be replacing the DVD player. I'm sorry you had to experience this madness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 :grouphug: Rough day! Babysitter or parent - there are entirely too many of those "hands-off" types out there and in charge of children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Try to find out who this child's parents are, they should be replacing it for sure. As a parent i would be mortified if my child was acting like this and babysitter was not taking care of it. The parents may not be aware of what a loser their babysitter is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I think you should write a letter to the child's parents explaining that her caregiver is not attentive in her care and as a result their child broke your DVD player. They should know that the person they have watching their child isn't doing a good job. And this gives them a chance to make good on the DVD player. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 That stinks. I'm sorry about your DS's DVD player. That girl's parents really should be replacing it for you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Oh, my. While I'd practically die if I heard my kids did something like that, I'd want to know about it so I could make you whole. Hopefully the folks in charge will tell the parents and, if they are decent people, they will do the right thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I would have freaked out on them. If you can't get them to replace the dvd player, at least terrify them to the point that you can be sure they'll never come back. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 The studio owner could come to Swellmomma's aid in this, if need be. Since the child was being a brat, messing with everyone's belongings and strewing the trash all over the floor, the studio owner could say, you know, there's no harm done aside from *making my clients' lives miserable* which affects my business*, but if you damage my clients' belongings, you have the choice to do the honorable thing and make full restitution. If you will not, I will contact the police and file vandalism charges. Would you like to pay for a new DVD player, or would you like us to talk to the police? This is one of the reasons I tell my kids to avoid even the appearance of evil or impropriety. They need to be squeaky clean, so they are above suspicion in any situation that might arise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 The studio owner could come to Swellmomma's aid in this, if need be. Since the child was being a brat, messing with everyone's belongings and strewing the trash all over the floor, the studio owner could say, you know, there's no harm done aside from *making my clients' lives miserable* which affects my business*, but if you damage my clients' belongings, you have the choice to do the honorable thing and make full restitution. If you will not, I will contact the police and file vandalism charges. Would you like to pay for a new DVD player, or would you like us to talk to the police? This is one of the reasons I tell my kids to avoid even the appearance of evil or impropriety. They need to be squeaky clean, so they are above suspicion in any situation that might arise. I don't think the parents are required to pay for the damages of a young child, nor would the young child's actions likely be considered criminal vandalism. I think it's more of an ethical issue. I would hate to have to be the person to tell the parents, but it needs to be done. I think most people would make restitution if they could afford it, without being threatened. If they can't afford it, well, at least where I live, the law favors the parent of the naughty child. Though most folks who can afford to put their kids into dance lessons would be able to pay for a portable DVD player by cutting back on something else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 3, 2013 Author Share Posted March 3, 2013 I don't think the parents are required to pay for the damages of a young child, nor would the young child's actions likely be considered criminal vandalism. I think it's more of an ethical issue. I would hate to have to be the person to tell the parents, but it needs to be done. I think most people would make restitution if they could afford it, without being threatened. If they can't afford it, well, at least where I live, the law favors the parent of the naughty child. Though most folks who can afford to put their kids into dance lessons would be able to pay for a portable DVD player by cutting back on something else. Yeah I am not going to "go after" the parents to replace it, though I would hope after the owner addresses it with them they offer. That said I am not going to assume they can afford it. I have both girls in dance, as well as acro and son takes acro and we certainly do not typically have the extra money to replace things like this. That is why it was a gift from gramma for xmas. I already take money out of the meager grocery budget etc to cover this sport for the kids. It just happens that later this month I get a backpay cheque for ds9's disability benefits so I will be able to buy him a new one at that time. Otherwise he would be waiting months until at least his birthday to get a new one. I will not assume that family has the means to replace right away but I do want them made aware of the situation so they can address it with their daughter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I don't think the parents are required to pay for the damages of a young child . . . :confused1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 :confused1: I think she meant they are not required by law. So far everyone seems to agree the parents *should* pay to replace it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I don't think the parents are required to pay for the damages of a young child, nor would the young child's actions likely be considered criminal vandalism. I think it's more of an ethical issue. I would hate to have to be the person to tell the parents, but it needs to be done. I think most people would make restitution if they could afford it, without being threatened. If they can't afford it, well, at least where I live, the law favors the parent of the naughty child. Though most folks who can afford to put their kids into dance lessons would be able to pay for a portable DVD player by cutting back on something else. Myabe you're right, maybe they can't be held criminally liable, but around here, children behaving that badly are made to understand that that kind of recklessness will not be tolerated. If it were my little kid, I'd pay for the DVD player, but my child would have been out weeding in my backyard or something else similar to "work off" the expense that I had paid for. If I couldn't pay cash, my child and I would be at swellmama's house mowing her lawn for six weeks, while the child weeded her flower beds. I'd also have asked swellmomma if we could borrow the DVD player, and I'd have shown my child precisely how badly it didn't work, although I wouldn't do that in front of swellmomma or her children. (The purpose is not to shame, but to make the consequence of handling electronics roughly completely clear.) I would also speak to the babysitter, asking her if she wants to continue the job or not, and explaining what precisely is required. The babysitter allowing such foolishness on her watch is unconscionable--children can get hurt going through trash. Then I'd ask Swellmomma to let me know how the babysitter is doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Ugh. We have similar problems at archery. Drives me nuts. I'm sorry this happened to you. It just sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 We had an issue at gymnastics with a brother and the grandma. I had had enough of the grandma ignoring the destruction this child was doing that I said something to him - and then she flipped out on me that her precious grandson would NEVER do such things. HA. Luckily the owner knew me well enough to know I wouldn't make it up, or say something without cause. I hope something is said to the parents about the "caregiver"... I'm sorry to that someone didn't have enough respect for others things and your sons stuff got broken. That just stinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I can't conceive of not talking to someone as soon as the bathroom was trashed. I would have helped to clean up the mess, but not until I had alerted someone that it was messy and why. Same with the lockers. By the time the thing with the DVD happened, whoever was responsible at the studio that day would have known exactly how things escalated. Except that by notifying someone immediately I'm guessing that it wouldn't have escalated. I know these studios are often staffed only by someone out by the kids but parents pay a lot of money to have a safe clean environment for their kids to have lessons in and I would bother the teacher to let them know exactly why I wasn't getting that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I would have freaked out on them. If you can't get them to replace the dvd player, at least terrify them to the point that you can be sure they'll never come back. ;) Seriously! What is wrong with kids, and parents?! I would be so pi$$ed! If that was my kid he/she may never leave the house again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JBJones Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I would definitely contact the parents, as they should replace your child's DVD player. Just be prepared though.....I"m wondering if the parents let this child run wild as well. Possibly this is why the babysitter does? Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I don't think the parents are required to pay for the damages of a young child, nor would the young child's actions likely be considered criminal vandalism. Actually, I think they would be held responsible. I'm quite sure that, in my area at least, if a minor child commits a crime or damages someone's property, the parents are held responsible for the damages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I think she meant they are not required by law. So far everyone seems to agree the parents *should* pay to replace it. Still puzzled. I cannot imagine why a parent would not be required by law to replace objects broken by their minor child. If one of my kids broke a neighbor's window with a baseball, yes, I would be legally required to replace it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Still puzzled. I cannot imagine why a parent would not be required by law to replace objects broken by their minor child. If one of my kids broke a neighbor's window with a baseball, yes, I would be legally required to replace it. :iagree: That's exactly what I was thinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Actually, I think they would be held responsible. I'm quite sure that, in my area at least, if a minor child commits a crime or damages someone's property, the parents are held responsible for the damages. I took a look at a summary of different states' laws. Most of them require willful or malicious intent in order to trigger parental responsibility. Proving willful/malicious intent in a young child, especially without disinterested witnesses, would be more trouble than it's worth. There is also a dollar limit on liability, but it's high enough that if you did prove the right intent and damage, you could legally recover. So I stand partially corrected. (And I have no idea of the parental responsibility law in Canada.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Still puzzled. I cannot imagine why a parent would not be required by law to replace objects broken by their minor child. If one of my kids broke a neighbor's window with a baseball, yes, I would be legally required to replace it. Most people aren't aware that they could actually refuse to pay. Which is probably a good thing in some cases. :) I wouldn't dream of refusing to pay for damage by my kid. However, it is comforting to know that if there was a freak accident that cost a huge amount, I would not have to go bankrupt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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