How do you wake your kids up?

[Faithr]

Everyone in our family (except me) tend to be night owls. But this staying up late, sleeping in pattern is proving to be very problematic. We need to reform for various reasons. I like to get up early myself. In fact I treasure my early morning alone time. I get up, feed the pets, unload the dishwasher, make coffee, pray, read, surf the Internet, plan, make a to do list, etc. Often I'll get so involved in what I am doing I don't rouse the kids when I should. I actually hate waking them as they are so grumpy and peevish until they have truly woken up. My dh operates on his own schedule which is work driven, so he takes care of himself. So my two questions are: 1). How do I get myself to be consistent about waking the kids at the same time each a.m. ( because my procrastination is definitely a problem). And 2) how to get the kids to be more pleasant in the a.m? One idea I had was to make sure they set their alarms the night before, so I am not the first one to intrude on their peaceful slumber. Lately, I have been putting on Christmas music fairly loudly so it drifts upstairs. I might continue with that (well not Xmas music but other beautiful music).

 

Of course I know that if we all went to bed at a reasonable hour, things would go more smoothly, but now my kids and dh often stay up later than I am capable of. I conk out, so kids and dh could be having parties for all I know. Dh is terrible at making them go to bed now that they are older. He always reminiscences about how he never missed a David Letterman show in high school or college. He really is a natural night owl. But he winds up burning the candle at both ends during the work week and then sleeping until noon many Saturdays and Til about 11:00 on Sundays. Grrr. Anyway, because of our idiosyncrasies, we've gotten into bad habits.

 

So are there any reformed night owls out there? How do you cope? And how do you start the day off pleasantly with cranky teens/preteens?

.

[Laura Corin]

I try to make the waking up process as pleasant as possible: it's special mummy time. I knock on their doors, call their names, use baby names, sometimes sing a little song, talk about the day, make little jokes, kind of cajole them awake. Then I stand by the bed chatting until they get up. I put them into their dressing gowns and give them a big hug. They come to breakfast, which I will have made.

 

They are otherwise pretty independent through the day: getting up is their 'baby time'.

 

Laura

[Ellie]

I like to wake up the dc gently, too, Of course, they were easy to wake up. Some people sleep like the dead, lol, and you have to actually dump them out of bed to keep them awake!

 

OTOH, I rarely felt the need to wake them up, other than mornings when we had to be out of the house, such as Sundays for church.

 

Surely you are not waking up *all* of your dc? They are not all living at home, right? I would expect anyone who is older than, oh, 11 or 12 to be in charge of getting himself up and out. I would also expect people who are that old to be mature enough to control himself when he comes out into the world and to choose not to be grumpy; he doesn't have to be all smiley-face, but he can choose to not be grumpy to those around him. I send grumpy offspring back into their rooms, telling them to try it again. Although it may be true that some people are just not morning people, they can still choose to be civil to those around them, KWIM?

 

To put it bluntly, you're in charge of making yourself become more consistent. You're the mom. You're the adult. Just do it. Set your own alarm. Get up. Get dressed. Make your bed. Go wake the dc (if you need to).

[regentrude]

We have a set time for starting school, and I also have to leave the house several mornings per week - so there is no option NOT to wake them. Just as there is no option for me not to get up. You.just.do.it.

The kids have alarm clocks, and DD is very good about setting hers and getting up on her own (and she, too, has to be out of the house several mornings a week).

DS- not so much. I need to go in an wake him. The first time, I simply request acknowledgement in form of a nod or grunt that he heard me, and will give him a few more minutes to doze. I will go in one more time and remind him. Then he usually is up a few minutes later.

Now about being grumpy: I can jump out of bed and be cheerful - my son can not; he needs a certain amount of time. I am accounting for that by simply waking him half an hour earlier than I need him to be fully "present". He will get up, but does not want to talk or eat; he needs half an hour of alone time before he feels ready to interact with the world. I simply give that to him.

[Sameera]

Try:

• Going to sleep earlier, even though you may not feel sleepy, get into the pattern of sleeping early & waking early, regularly
  
• Changing the diet. Gluten/wheat & sugar (high carbs, & junk foods) can make a person feel exhausted, irritable, & grumpy. Give them a healthy balanced diet, supplement with vitamins, & live yogurt (Vit B's are great).
  
• Making mornings interesting. Have lots of planned activities/lessons ready for the kids.
  
• Exercising every morning - all go out for half an hour walk.
  
• Assigning some chores to children so they gain life skills (& appreciate you).
  
• Keep on praying :)
  

BW

[Faithr]

I like to wake up the dc gently, too, Of course, they were easy to wake up. Some people sleep like the dead, lol, and you have to actually dump them out of bed to keep them awake!

 

OTOH, I rarely felt the need to wake them up, other than mornings when we had to be out of the house, such as Sundays for church.

 

Surely you are not waking up *all* of your dc? They are not all living at home, right? I would expect anyone who is older than, oh, 11 or 12 to be in charge of getting himself up and out. I would also expect people who are that old to be mature enough to control himself when he comes out into the world and to choose not to be grumpy; he doesn't have to be all smiley-face, but he can choose to not be grumpy to those around him. I send grumpy offspring back into their rooms, telling them to try it again. Although it may be true that some people are just not morning people, they can still choose to be civil to those around them, KWIM?

 

To put it bluntly, you're in charge of making yourself become more consistent. You're the mom. You're the adult. Just do it. Set your own alarm. Get up. Get dressed. Make your bed. Go wake the dc (if you need to).

I wish I could be the adult here. I have tried over the years. I am very adult about many things, but this particular problem not so much. And actually my 17 yo is pretty good. He's not grumpy and he has been getting himself up more consistently ( even to go to a Friday 6:15 a.m. mass). He is more consistent but not perfect. My youngest two are definite problems. My 14 yo has a mood disorder. He can literally burst into tears or start raging. And he is the one who needs the consistent wake up time because he has sleep issues. The dr though suggested going in and waking him just to give the meds, then letting himsleep a little longer. That does seem to be helping. My youngest is a grouchy, glum bear for the 1st 1/2 hr. my youngest sister was just like that growing up, so I recognize the type. Wonderful people otherwise but really try not to have too much interaction first thing in the a.m. If you are smart! All this combined with my own proclivity for enjoying my quiet time and putting off the fireworks has led to this bump in our daily lives. It is just a rotten way to start the day, with most of us feeling sour and resentful.

 

That's why I was hoping to hear from reformed night owls. Folks who would empathize perhaps and have practical tricks for getting into the habit.

[Farrar]

I'll let you know if they ever sleep past 7 am. :001_rolleyes:

[Kyr]

We put lights on timers in all the bedrooms. Full spectrum bulbs. Having simulated daylight early in the am really does help us all get up easier. After a few days we all started naturally going to bed earlier and were able to shift our day.

[alisoncooks]

I'll let you know if they ever sleep past 7 am. :001_rolleyes:

Haha, I was thinking the same thing!

[Sameera]

That's why I was hoping to hear from reformed night owls. Folks who would empathize perhaps and have practical tricks for getting into the habit.

 

 

We are reformed night owls. Try going gluten-free. Our prayer times in UK during the summer can be at 11.00 pm and 4.00 am. Each of my kids have their own alarm clock and have gotten used to waking up early. They learnt the importance of getting up early, they understood their responsibility, (in fact, it's really hard to make them stay in bed!). However, during the last few weeks they have had the cold/flu and have been sleeping a lot & resting. Could it be possible your kids are coming up with a bad cold? Sometimes, not having enough sleep in the night makes you tired the next morning, the fact that it's winter and quite dark, our bodies feel like hibernating.

[violamama]

That's why I was hoping to hear from reformed night owls. Folks who would empathize perhaps and have practical tricks for getting into the habit.

 

I think I'm still very new to hs'ing compared to you, but I do have the fellow night owl thing going on.

 

Half the reason we started homeschooling was because I feel pretty strongly about them getting enough sleep and had done some research about kids schedules having profound effects on their learning. (Which is to say, I do not like to be rushing around in the morning and I found research that backed me up. Heh.)

 

Three things:

1. You can get both an audible and visual alarm that gradually increases to full power. A full-spectrum light that starts out dim and gets up to fully light over about 30 minutes and a radio/cd player that does the same.

 

2. We recently started a low carb thing and it has really done a lot for us, as another poster said. We're not obsessed about it, but usually they don't have any refined carbs (like bread or sugar) at breakfast or lunch. They can have all the fruit they want anytime, though (and I have at least 4 kinds available most of the time), and I make them bacon, sausage, eggs with cheese, etc. for breakfast. Then at dinner they might have some bread/rice/whatever. We do still have treats like DQ etc a couple of times per week, so like I said we're kind of casual about it.

It may seem odd that what they eat would change the vibe of mornings, but it really has for us. I like what others have said about allowing & scheduling some space before requiring things from them, too.

 

3. I just don't get to stay up like I would like to anymore. Sounds like maybe your kids are hitting that stage, too. We do a kind of Love & Logic thing: they have to be in their rooms and fairly quiet by about 8:30pm but there is no forcing a kid to sleep. If they're grumpy because they stayed up late, I empathize by saying something like, "Yeah, bummer. I'd be really tired if I was hyper for hours before going to bed, too. I hope we can work it out so you don't have too many consequences today, etc." Some nights they still chat and aren't asleep until 10pm but usually they're out pretty quickly. We definitely have found that getting physical exercise in and limiting screens make a big difference with how easily they nod off. Reading together before bed also seems to help.

 

I try to look at it as training them for life. I am still a night owl, but I have to choose to repress that for now in this season. My hope is that the kids will learn to do that as well.

[Ellie]

I wish I could be the adult here. I have tried over the years. I am very adult about many things, but this particular problem not so much. And actually my 17 yo is pretty good. He's not grumpy and he has been getting himself up more consistently ( even to go to a Friday 6:15 a.m. mass). He is more consistent but not perfect. My youngest two are definite problems. My 14 yo has a mood disorder. He can literally burst into tears or start raging. And he is the one who needs the consistent wake up time because he has sleep issues. The dr though suggested going in and waking him just to give the meds, then letting himsleep a little longer. That does seem to be helping. My youngest is a grouchy, glum bear for the 1st 1/2 hr. my youngest sister was just like that growing up, so I recognize the type. Wonderful people otherwise but really try not to have too much interaction first thing in the a.m. If you are smart! All this combined with my own proclivity for enjoying my quiet time and putting off the fireworks has led to this bump in our daily lives. It is just a rotten way to start the day, with most of us feeling sour and resentful.

 

That's why I was hoping to hear from reformed night owls. Folks who would empathize perhaps and have practical tricks for getting into the habit.

Ah, more information. :-)

 

:grouphug:

[sbgrace]

I don't think you can reform a night owl to make them a morning person or anything close to it. It's hardwired in the brain.

 

But what would help if you are determined (and if they are on board too it would help):

 

Consistent bedtime every single night

Light exposure in the morning

Low dose melatonin if you're comfortable with it...that's one thing proven to alter a natural circadian rhythm for a person.

 

That said, it will take just one undisciplined week-end for a night person who is acting like a morning person to go back to their natural cycle.

 

It's very much like asking you to adopt the sleep schedule natural to the rest of your family....it would be very difficult, not pleasant, and it would take concentrated effort/discipline for you to continue to go against your natural inclination to rise early.

[Donna]

I'll let you know if they ever sleep past 7 am. :001_rolleyes:

 

 

I was thinking the same thing.

 

Mine are all night owls and have been all their lives. My teens have just started sleeping longer the past couple years. When mine are young, they get up with the sun and DD still gets up by 7am though with the cloudy weather this month, she has slept until almost 8am for the past few days. I don't wake her. Now it is my dog who wakes me early in the morning.

 

My oldest gets up easily with his alarm and very rarely oversleeps...maybe twice in the past year. My middle DS often either forgets to set his alarm or sleeps through it, even though it is a really loud rooster crowing alarm clock. I just got in and rub his back a little while I quietly say his name and let him know it's time to get up.

 

I am thinking we might actually be able to sleep past 6:30 this Christmas.

[Hedgehogs4]

those who have said giving up gluten might help would have gotten a raised eyebrow from me in the past, but now that we are gluten free, I get up easily and consistently at 6:30 or 7:00 and so do the kids. hmmm...I didn't make the connection, but there is definitely a "coincidence." interesting.

[Arcadia]

I have cranky night owl youngsters. What help me was to wake them up at the same time every weekday regardless of what time they slept the night before. Weekends they get to sleep an hour more. Than they have their breakfast and leisure reading before we start seat work. My older takes about 2hrs to be fully awake, younger goes from asleep to awake like a light switch.

[duckens]

We are a family of night owls. My mom tells the story that even when I was little (pre-K), she would tuck my sister and I into bed at 8:30, then check on us on her way to bed at 10pm. Sis would sleep soundly, but my little eyes would be peeking out from the covers. Mom was overjoyed when I was put into afternoon kindergarten. Mornings would have been impossibly for my natural rhythms.

 

When I was pregant with dd6, for the first time in my life, I started to wake up at ~5am, and I FELT GREAT!!!! I thought, "Oh, no!!!! God is sending us a MORNING child to punish us!!!!" :eek: (We were pregnant out of wedlock.) Thank goodness that dd6 is a proper night owl like the rest of us. :cool:

 

We also struggle with getting up and getting going in the morning. It is tough to wake the kids when there is the risk that they will be cranky and ineffective at schoolwork if I don't let them waken on their own. Plus, the temptation is great to let them sleep while I get things done or take time for myself. Faithr, you're not the only one that deals with that!

 

At ~8:30am:

Both girls are still nursing, so I wake dd6 with a little gentle shaking, kissing, and calling her name. I tell her that if she wants to nurse, now is the time. (Once dd2 wakes, dd6 doesn't get time to nurse because dd2 would interrupt and demand another turn). Dd6 is given the option to use the bathroom right away (some mornings this is more important than other mornings). I also read a chapter from the chapter book we are currently reading (American Girls) while we snuggle and she nurses. This has the advantage of:

 

1) gives us special 1-on-1 snuggle time. They say the first 4 minutes and the last 4 minutes of your child's day are the most important.

2) gives us opportunity to read chapter books that extend dd6's reading, but would be over the 2yo's head and attention span.

3) helps us to wean from nursing because nursing is interrupted whenever there is a picture in the book to look at.

 

I have started to give dd6 the option of going back to sleep at this time. If she really is that tired, she is better off sleeping. Of course, we are lucky that she is ahead in most of her schoolwork (working above grade level), and she is young, so it is not that big of a deal if we don't do EVERYTHING for homeschooling EVERYDAY. If she was middle school or high school age, I might feel differently.

 

We do piano lesson/practice (again, difficult once dd2 awakens), and I try to wake dd2 at that time. This is more difficult, because she is a baby and sleeps so hard, but she seems to have a better day and nap schedule when she wakes by 9amish.

 

----------------------------------------------------------------

 

Bedtime is, of course, a part of the issue. Loverboy and I do many things well as parents. Bedtime is not one of them.

 

We try to have dd6 into bed by 9:30, but sometimes this is lights out, and sometimes this is, "It's 9:45, let's go brush your teeth!"....and sit on the toilet, and read from two books, and nurse.....and lights out at 11pm.

 

Sometimes dd6 says she is not tired. She is then given the option to go over to her own bed and stay up and read as late as she wants. (We co-sleep, and she has her own single bed in our bedroom). She'll read a book or two, then turn out her light and go to sleep.

 

Sometimes she is given the option that she may stay up later if she does extra schoolwork . (This is a test for how tired she really is! Sometimes she is not so tired!) After all, if she worked on x, y, and z last night, I won't be so stressed to get her up and working this morning because we already have a jump on the day's schoolwork.

 

She is also reminded that she can make this judgment to stay up later as long as she can get up in the morning and not be cranky.

 

***I have also seen a link between screentime at bedtime, and the inability to determine when one is tired.*** Even as adults, if one is watching a tv show late at night, one will say, "Oh, there's just 20 more minutes," rather than saying, "I'm tired and I need to go to bed NOW." We have a TIVO, so there is no reason the tv show won't be waiting for me to finish the next day.

I see the same thing with the kids.

 

Best of luck at finding what works for you.

[Harriet Vane]

Tea or juice in bed. It really can ease the way. When my anemia was the worst, and I had such a fog in the morning, dh used to coax me into a sitting position (propped against a million pillows) and bring me tea. I would sip until I felt human.

[Reya]

Rub his back, kiss him, and sweetly tell him that he has 30 minutes to be at the table with a book open in front of him. :D

[swellmomma]

I don't. I let them sleep until they wake naturally unless ds14 has to get to work, then I rub his arms and call his name softly. If I have to wake up dd I turn on the light and knock on her wall calling her. SHe is on the top bunk and the livingroom shelves are blocking me access to her bed so I can't be as sweet about it as with ds. But mostly they wake me up instead.

[boscopup]

I used to be hard to wake up as a teenager, and even as a younger child. I remember in 5th grade, I was on Flag Corps and was supposed to be at school early to raise the flag. I was late a LOT. The teacher in charge of Flag Corps asked if I needed a ride to school so I could get there early. No, I didn't need a ride. I lived right behind the school. All I had to do was walk across the school field and I was there. :tongue_smilie: My mom used to have to turn the light on in my room to get me up, because I would sleep and sleep and sleep.

 

Now as an adult, I have somewhat reformed. My DH goes to bed around 8:30 and watches TV for 15-30 minutes. He leaves the house at 6:15 for work, so staying up late isn't a good idea. Well, since he's going to bed so early, I have finally gotten in the habit of going to bed that early also. And now I wake up around 5:15-5:30 like clockwork. Now when DH goes out of town, I stay up until 1am or so, and then I regret it when my kids don't let me sleep past 6am. :rolleyes: So technically, I am still a night owl, but since I want to go to bed with my DH, I've gotten used to an earlier bed time, which then makes getting up in the morning quite easy. The early bedtime is definitely better for me.

 

My kids all have a 7pm bedtime, and they get up around 6am, but aren't allowed to come downstairs until 7am. So I have my morning time from 5:15/30-7:00.

 

And now that people are saying that gluten-free makes them get up earlier, I need to definitely avoid gluten-free with my kids! :lol:

[Mommy22alyns]

I have DH set his cell phone alarm and put it in the bedroom to wake the girls up at 8. They go out, eat breakfast, and wake me up a little before 9. We just this year started doing this because of Becca's gymnastics schedule. Previously, we just woke up and started school whenever.

[Ewe Mama]

I let the dog lick their faces.

[Faithr]

Thanks everyone for your responses. It is interesting to see how people tackle this little problem. I'm going to begin right now by going around and setting everyone's alarm.