Letting your spouse teach some?

[mom2agang]

I am homeschooling 10 of my 12 children and my schedule is swamped.Trying to do it all is hard. My dh has offered to teach some subjects math and science. I have to admit I'm kinda scared! I drill my kids hard in math compaired to him. I make sure they can say them in their sleep and he is more like they know them well enough type. I hate teaching science so that won't be that big of a deal except I will have to make sure they know it. I'm more scared He won't teach them "GOOD ENOUGH". Has anyone let their spouse take over subjects? How do you relax and let them teach their way?

[Dana]

You trust them.

You don't compare, "I'd do it this way...that way is wrong!" Instead, you aim for, "I'd do it this way... that way has these advantages that I wouldn't have thought of."

 

I got really frustrated recently and went on strike for the past few months :)

My husband was great and took over everything (I was ready to be looking at entirely online charter schools like K12).

He had less time than I generally have to teach during the day since he was teaching in the evening after work. It was quite a change. I also had to listen to their work (on the nights I wasn't out teaching) and some days really bite my tongue when things weren't being done the way I would have done them!

If I wasn't able to bite my tongue, I'd put in headphones.

 

Students will ALWAYS have gaps in their education.

For us, the break was necessary.

I'm teaching my son again & he's focusing much better.

My husband is still doing history.

 

Redefine "good enough" and work at letting go.

It can definitely be tough, but it was also good to see what my husband focused on vs what I focused on. It was good for me to hear how he handled frustrating times with our son. Definitely made me feel less alone :)

[russiantwins]

My husband teaches History and Bible at night when he comes home from work, after supper. He is a history major and is a chaplain, so it fits like a glove. I just give him the curriculum and let him teach how he wants to. I always ask if he needs me to buy anything or prepare anything,but other than that, I leave him be. He doesn't need my advice, and if he did, he'd ask. It lessens my load and helps him to be a part of our homeschooling world. It has brought the kids closer to him, and they look forward to that time with him each evening.

[Parrothead]

How do you trust him to care for them in other ways when you are not around? His way is different, that does not mean your way is better.

[Farrar]

I see what you're saying - you feel like the ultimate burden is still on you. I think you have to either trust him to do it or not hand it off to him. If you can't trust him and feel like you have to manage it, then it'll make everyone crazy. If you can't really let go of it, see if you can find another solution.

[regentrude]

I hate teaching science so that won't be that big of a deal except I will have to make sure they know it. I'm more scared He won't teach them "GOOD ENOUGH". Has anyone let their spouse take over subjects? How do you relax and let them teach their way?

 

 

I trust my husband with many aspects of my life - otherwise I would not have married him and would not have chosen to have children with him. If I can trust him to raise children together with me and make all important family decisions together, I surely can trust him to teach a subject in our homeschool.

 

He does not have to do things the same way I do. In fact, he most definitely will do things differently that I would have done. But these are his children, too, and I trust that he will teach them well.

The most important thing is to get out of the way and let him do his job without trying to micromanage.

 

ETA: My DH teaches science labs (because I hate labs), computer hardware (because the kids are learning to build computers on his cluster), and will teach calc 2 (because DD works better with him than with me).

[lllll]

....

[redsquirrel]

I think if you can agree ahead of time what the goals are then it shouldn't be a problem. My dh has taken on teaching math to my eldest because he is just better it than I am, but we have the same goals.

 

If I am sick or out of town, their father is perfectly capable to stepping in and taking over for a couple days. He just follows my lesson plans.

[Kate CA]

If you know that your husband wants the best for them as you do, his best doesn't have to be or look the same as your best. If you trusted him enough to have children with him, I think you can trust him enough to teach them science! :D

 

I would be thrilled if my husband had the time to do a subject or two with my children. What a blessing that your husband cares and wants to be involved!

[shanvan]

For me it was not a matter of trust--he could be trusted to do a good job IF he would have done it. We've tried. Several times. And every time, he didn't follow through. Just make sure you're checking to see if it's actually getting DONE. It's not fun to have to try to catch a year of math because it didn't happen. With two kids... Oh, they'd have lovely long conversations about all sorts of interesting geometry concepts, but the BOOK was not even half-way done at the end of the year. And then mom has to fix the wreck... We've tried with all sorts of classes: math, Bible, engineering, and every time, he didn't follow through. I found it easier just to do it myself rather than trying to make it up.

 

 

Yup, BTDT. Fortunately it was very early on in math. Dh just did not realize how much effort and reinforcement math facts were going to take. He just taught from the book and thought that was all he needed to do. To be fair, it was difficult for him to devote enough time to thinking through lessons, evaluations, and reteaching when needed. If the Dh in the family is working outside the home, it may be too much for him to actually have to think through teaching certain subjects (like math) that are skill based and build sequentially.

 

My Dh switched to teaching history at night for a couple of years and that worked much better. Like Margaret, I had to play catch up with math b/c of Dh's year of teaching. Ds gets a look of dread on his face to this day if I even mention the possibility of Dh teaching him math! Aside from not having enough time for follow up, Dh is not as good at explaining math. He is great at doing it himself, but actually teaching and devising methods of reinforcement--not so much.

[fraidycat]

Letting go means letting go. Either you want to teach it (your way) or you don't want to teach it and you have to let it go.

 

I learned this lesson, not with schooling so much, but life in general. Cooking, housework, etc. Either I wanted it done MY way, so I had to do it, or I wanted it done period (by someone else - DH), so MY standards didn't matter. Once I removed myself(ishness) from the equation and realized that I'm NOT the Queen of everything, and my way isn't the ONLY way, it was much easier to accept his help, happily and without "correcting" him.

 

ETA: How I equate this to school help is I let him take on the things that I aim for exposure in, and not mastery. Science, History, etc. Right now he barely has time to sleep or eat so he isn't doing anything, but when I DID hand over science to him, I handed him the book and said "Have fun." He and the kids went to a Buffet restaurant and learned about classification at the buffet tables. LOL So NOT how I would have done it, but it wasn't up to me, so I just let. it. go.

[LucyStoner]

Let go and let him do those subjects but don't wait till the end of the year if it is not getting done.

[HS Mom in NC]

My husband teaches Math and Science for our kids when they're ready for Algebra until they're ready for college.

 

I would be furious if he had an "I'm not sure she's doing it well enough" attitude when I have them for all subjects before then and History, Logic, Writing, and Literature all they way through High School. It would be really hypocritical of me to have that attitude toward him when he's schooling them.

[TechWife]

My husband frequently helps since we reached the high school years. He tutors or teaches in areas of his expertise. So far he has helped with science, math and computer science. Some we have had joint responsibility - I take care of checking regular science assignments, for example, and he leads science labs and checks the write ups.

[MrsBanjoClown]

I have actually asked dh to take over a couple of times in science, which is funny because I am a certified science teacher. The lessons were on electromagnetic fields, and physics is my weak area, so I knew he would be better able to answer their many questions than I would be. I also think it gave him a chance to see why I call him at work exasperated sometimes!

[marbel]

If you know that your husband wants the best for them as you do, his best doesn't have to be or look the same as your best. If you trusted him enough to have children with him, I think you can trust him enough to teach them science! :D

 

I would be thrilled if my husband had the time to do a subject or two with my children. What a blessing that your husband cares and wants to be involved!

 

This is exactly what I was thinking!

 

OP, I know you didn't mean it this way but you sound a bit insulting toward your husband. He is also "letting" you teach his children! Take his help, gladly and with thanks!

 

:grouphug:

[Walking-Iris]

I agree. If your dh wants to, them let him. It doesn't have to be one way or the other. You're co-parenting, you're both homeschooling parents. I think just keeping dh's in the realm of main breadwinner and other typical male roles etc is sort of insulting. I have let my dh teach our kids. He doesn't really have the time to devote to it like I do, so it's only been in a helpful way. Doing something with one child while I worked with another. Helping clarify something or present something in a new way. Asking the kids questions. Being a sounding board for what they've learned.

 

If your dh knows enough about math and science to do it, them let him. It's not as if you'll be ignorant of how they are doing. I think we homeschool moms can fall into the trap of identifying so strongly with our role, that we become a bit selfish towards it. It's good for children to learn from other adults, especially their dad. Also if he doesn't want to, I wouldn't ask him to do it.

[Susan in TN]

I imagine that managing a homeschooling household with 12 kids is like running the military. You have to keep a tight ship! (I have

only

six kids, and I'm like this in many ways).

 

But you also need to let go a little, or the whole thing may blow apart. YOU need the breathing space. It's not going to be perfect, but you need to let go at least for a little while. Trust that God will take care of them in their learning - they will learn what they need, you will get the mental space YOU need, and anything that falls behind can be made up later. :)

[chickenpatty]

How I wish my hubby could take over some of our subjects! He's a naturally gifted teacher & very smart to boot! Unfortunately, his job keeps him pretty swamped.

[desertmum]

I let my husband take over reading. I realised quite early in the game that there are sounds in the English language that I did not pronounce properly so I handed over the baton to hubby. Did I trust him? Well, he wasn't using the books I wanted to use but he DID have the patience to go over each word carefully...like a thousand times. Sometimes you have to delegate to get things done.

[Donna]

My dh schools dd two days a week while I work. I have the plans set for him and he follows through. He does not have as much patience as I have and sometimes it is difficult for him to come into the middle of dd's math for the week but we are adapting. He does good enough and I think there are benefits to dd learning from him.

 

I would like for him to teach her art because he is good at drawing and I may get him to work with her on sewing when she gets her Christmas present because he is more creative than I am. The problem is the curriculum we are currently using for language arts takes a lot more time each day than I intended and dd is practicing violin a lot more this year than she has previously because she wants to audition for a summer camp, so still trying to figure a place to fit it all in.