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You can't judge a "book" aka person by it's cover.... Experience today


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I volunteer at a local soup kitchen once a month. There is this guy who really likes to talk to the volunteers, coming up whenever he's sees there is no one in front of us. He's very friendly. Today, he starts talking knowledgeably about Machiavelli. I have to admit I was surprised. Blew away assumptions I shouldn't have made.

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Two years ago my son started playing hockey. I was the newbie so I knew nothing about hockey. But, during the early practices, one of the moms was a typical bleacher-seat player type - loud, brash, know-it-all, always shouting out to the players "Do this...do that"

 

After the first game she was in the locker room, going around to each and every player making (loud) comments. She came over toward my son, and I'm thinking, "Great. The kid is a lousey player. He can barely skate. She is going to crush him."

 

She came over, said Hi, reached out her hand, shook his and told him she thought he did a GREAT job for his first game, was really handling his stick much better than when he started, and to keep up the good work.

 

She was actually the person who gave him some good advice right before he made his first goal. After he got off the ice, he went right over to her to share his excitement and say thanks.

 

I never, never would have guessed that she would be such a sweet encourager of each and every kid after every game!

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I volunteer at a local soup kitchen once a month. There is this guy who really likes to talk to the volunteers, coming up whenever he's sees there is no one in front of us. He's very friendly. Today, he starts talking knowledgeably about Machiavelli. I have to admit I was surprised. Blew away assumptions I shouldn't have made.

 

My parents were friends with a homeless man. He lived in his work van. He was quite smart and well-read, could talk about anything intelligently, and we'd often see him at the coffee shop reading something like Churchill. His daughter (living with his ex) was in the district's gifted program and really smart too. He just was never able to handle adult responsibilities.

 

Another great story is a good friend of mine who was working as a cashier at Cost Plus between college and grad school. One of the customers was being a super snob and going on and on about wine and talking down to her as if she couldn't possibly have any clue about it because she was just a cashier. My friend just had to let it slip, that yes she was quite familiar with that wine because she had it when she lived in France. Said friend spoke fluent French, studied abroad merely to work on her accent, had been all around Europe, had done an extremely prestigious internship at a government agency, and was headed to one of the top graduate schools in her field. The cashier job was just to make some extra money during the summer before heading back to school.

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You know that weird looking nanny at the playground - the one who's dressed in all black with weird colored hair, big boots, facial piercings and tattoos? That'd be me, only I'm the mom to the kid I'm playing with.

 

One time my toddler aged DD and I were at a playground having fun. All the other mothers were grouped together and talking. One of the school aged girls came up to talk to me, clearly on a dare from her friends. The friends were off a bit in the distance, watching to make sure she followed through. The girl made polite small talk. Eventually she asked if she could touch my hair, which I let her do. The girl did touch it, and promptly SCREAMED across the playground "MOM, YOU'RE WRONG! HER HAIR ISN'T GREASY OR STRINGY OR BAD SMELLING! IT'S NICE AND SOFT AND SMELLS LIKE FLOWERS!" I laughed and laughed. Sadly, the girl was taken home almost instantly by a blushing mother.

 

Another time, before I became a mother, I was in line at McDonald's with a toddler staring at me. I glanced down and him and his eyes were locked on my hair. I asked him if he'd like to touch it. He, very solemnly, shook his head no. Then he loudly whispered to his mother "Mama, she has hair like Cookie Monster." This mother was cool. She picked him up, encouraged him to chat me up, and eventually he, too, felt my hair.

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a long time ago, we had a family business. We had a mechanic who worked for us, he wore the same plaid jacket shirt everyday, had a full, long busy beard to his waist and long hair. He was very nice, but just seemed to us all very country basic "working guy". Well, one day one of my brothers starts chatting with him about mornings, and the mechanic shared that he lived over an hour away in a place where he had a couple of acres a few horses. His favorite morning routine was to wake up early, feed the animals, then watch the sunrise while listening to classical music, and have his coffee while enjoying the Wall Street Journal. We were like, wow. It was a great don't judge a book by the cover moment. The brothers were joking later, among ourselves that they would have guessed his morning would have been more like eat some cold pizza and wash it down with a beer and then ride in on his hog. It was a good lesson for us all.

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We were at a wedding reception at a restaurant when an older lady walked in and sat next to us. She looked exactly like a bag lady with long unkempt hair, an oversized down jacket even though it was late summer, and dirty long nails. I thought that she walked in off the street to beg for food when she saw the reception going on. It turned out that she was from the wealthiest family in San Francisco and my brother's boss.

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