caayenne Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Would it bother you to look out your front window and see your neighbors' children in your flower garden? With their parents in full sight? Oh, and while you're watching, said parents start posing the children for photographs, once again in your garden? And then neighbors look up and see you watching them and they wave and smile happily while continuing to photograph their special snowflakes sitting beside your newly flowering yellow mums? Because it bothers me. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I would have said something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpoy85 Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 if they were just standing there, no i wouldnt have an issue. If they were tromping through flattening them and killing them- yes id say something! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caayenne Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 I would have said something. Oh I did! :D I'm just wondering if I'm a big ole meanie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caayenne Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 if they were just standing there, no i wouldnt have an issue. If they were tromping through flattening them and killing them- yes id say something! It was something in between. They weren't just standing there. The two older ones (both girls) were going in and out of the garden, climbing on the stone edging, sitting and posing, and the two little boys were tromping all along the edging, occasionally stepping dangerously close to the flowers. Also, keep in mind that this wasn't at all the first time these children (4 kids, 2 families) have been in the garden. Last week the two boys were digging with a bucket and shovel in the side flower bed near the shrubs (and I didn't say anything then, because I didn't actually see them digging; I just found their bucket full of dirt and mulch and a small hole in the garden). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Oh I did! :D I'm just wondering if I'm a big ole meanie! If they were next to your garden, that wouldn't be a big deal, but they were IN your garden, which is completely unacceptable. The parents were idiots. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Is it at the edge of the property where in anyway the could mistake it for communal ground? We have this one area of our garden, that blends into the city part. Other than that, no, and I would say something. In fact I did very nicely ask the clueless dad who put his son's new basketball hoop up right in front of the nicest part of my garden if he would please move in as I did not want a ball smashing my lilies. He was most apologetic and moved the hoop. No bad feelings, just clueless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caayenne Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 If they were next to your garden, that wouldn't be a big deal, but they were IN your garden, which is completely unacceptable. The parents were idiots. :glare: Thank you! :tongue_smilie: But the only problem is, these are people who are the parents of my kid's friends. They are not my friends, just neighborly acquaintances at best, but for some reason, they seem to think that because my yard is connected to theirs, and our kids play together sometimes, my yard is an extension of theirs and their kids should be able to play there whenever they want. They've been playing in my front yard for a couple years now, and I admit, it bugs me, but I've never said anything because I want to be a good neighbor and for my kids to have friends in the neighborhood. But I work really hard to make my garden beautiful, and these neighbors do know that. They often comment about the amount of time I spend gardening. I also know that I have asked the children nicely (in front of the parents) not to play in the garden. I used to have a problem with the girls picking the flowers occasionally when they were younger. I explained over and over again that although their mommies let them pick the flowers in their own gardens, I didn't want them to pick my flowers. I have a real problem with their parents telling them that it's okay to go in my garden, especially when I'm not outside. I am also pretty sure that they were playing on my patio furniture today, as it had been dragged out across the porch. :glare: Who encourages their children to go in their neighbor's yard and use their stuff? :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caayenne Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 Is it at the edge of the property where in anyway the could mistake it for communal ground? We have this one area of our garden, that blends into the city part. No, this is a fully raised formal garden bed with a two-layer stone edging wall. It runs along the entire front of my house and around the side yard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirth Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I hope they're getting the picture after you had a word with them. My guess is there are other was they will devise that su casa es mi casa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Thank you! :tongue_smilie: But the only problem is, these are people who are the parents of my kid's friends. They are not my friends, just neighborly acquaintances at best, but for some reason, they seem to think that because my yard is connected to theirs, and our kids play together sometimes, my yard is an extension of theirs and their kids should be able to play there whenever they want. They've been playing in my front yard for a couple years now, and I admit, it bugs me, but I've never said anything because I want to be a good neighbor and for my kids to have friends in the neighborhood. But I work really hard to make my garden beautiful, and these neighbors do know that. They often comment about the amount of time I spend gardening. I also know that I have asked the children nicely (in front of the parents) not to play in the garden. I used to have a problem with the girls picking the flowers occasionally when they were younger. I explained over and over again that although their mommies let them pick the flowers in their own gardens, I didn't want them to pick my flowers. I have a real problem with their parents telling them that it's okay to go in my garden, especially when I'm not outside. I am also pretty sure that they were playing on my patio furniture today, as it had been dragged out across the porch. :glare: Who encourages their children to go in their neighbor's yard and use their stuff? :001_huh: Unfortunately, I think it's time to set some boundaries with that family. I would not be happy to come home and find my patio furniture rearranged. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 what about mixing some stinging nettle in there? You wear gardening gloves don't you? (I am not being serious, just teasing:lol:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caayenne Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 Unfortunately, I think it's time to set some boundaries with that family. I would not be happy to come home and find my patio furniture rearranged. :glare: I agree completely. As it is, after they waved at me, I kind of boiled over. I went outside onto the patio and just kind of stared at them. They all (3 adults from 2 families) continued to smile and take pictures, although they definitely looked uncomfortable. When they didn't take the hint, I said, "I'm not really sure why your kids are in my garden. Could you possibly not let them play in my garden?" They all looked completely surprised. The one mom (my next door neighbor) said, "Oh, sorry, sorry! Come on kids, we need to get out of the garden," in her best fake voice. The parents then started to herd the children out of my yard. I did bring up the patio furniture, but they all swore up and down that their children hadn't even been outside today....which I know is a lie because I saw the one family out in the morning, and my husband said he saw all of the kids running circles around our cars in the driveway early this afternoon. As they walked away, the two moms had their heads together, so I know they were probably talking about how "ridiculous" I was being. They both gossip about the other neighborhood moms, their friends, and even each other, so I have no doubt that they do the same to me. It's just so frustrating, because I try really hard to be friendly and it seems like that just encourages people to walk all over me. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caayenne Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 what about mixing some stinging nettle in there? You wear gardening gloves don't you? (I am not being serious, just teasing:lol:) :lol: Or hollies...or roses...:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I guess if that happens again... one could "accidently" turn on the sprinklers. And then if confronted, go wide-eyed and say, "Oh my stars! How did that happen?" :D They'd get the message. If not, they truly are nitwits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caayenne Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 I guess if that happens again... one could "accidently" turn on the sprinklers. And then if confronted, go wide-eyed and say, "Oh my stars! How did that happen?" :D They'd get the message. If not, they truly are nitwits. :lol: I actually did think of doing this! I'm not sure I could go through with it, though. The parents are nitwits, but the kids are just clueless! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Start with a sign that says, "Please stay out of my garden". If that doesn't work move to motion sensor sprinklers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I'll be the lone dissenter. As long as they weren't damaging anything then no, it would not bother me one bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 It would bother me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 This makes me so glad I don't have neighbors. Every once in a while I'll envy you gals getting together on a front porch for coffee. Then someone posts something like this. I guess I'll be satisfied with talking to the ponies over hot chocolate. I have a front yard flower/ veg garden and I'd implode if I caught neighbors in there. My great nieces and nephews have a very healthy respect for the boundaries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I wouldn't mind non-damaging neighbors using my garden for a family photo set... Even if they hadn't wanted to disturb me to ask if it was ok. I'd kinda take it as a complement. I also might be someone who would say to my kids, "Quick, go stand by those beautiful tulip so I can get a picture. Be careful!" (and snap and go). My daughters do stray into adjoining yards (lawn only) during their play, and I hadn't imagined people would mind. They primarily stick to our yard, but it's not easy for them to be fully aware of invisible property lines on identical grass. I could work on it if I need to. However, I would mind the casual and repeated disdain for private property, even your porch and belongings, that you have shown as a context for what they were doing. I'd mind the digging, the undersupervision and the attitude in general. That would make me very sensitive to the bold move of them doing a photo shoot as if they owned the place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-M- Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Would it bother you to look out your front window and see your neighbors' children in your flower garden? With their parents in full sight? Oh, and while you're watching, said parents start posing the children for photographs, once again in your garden? And then neighbors look up and see you watching them and they wave and smile happily while continuing to photograph their special snowflakes sitting beside your newly flowering yellow mums? Because it bothers me. :glare: Just reading your post bothers me on your behalf. *shudder* I am definitely one of those people who thinks that boundaries, fences, property lines, etc. *MUST* be observed. In fact, within just two months of moving to the forever home, we had a property-line-defining split rail fence put in. Previous owners had "allowed" the neighbors to mow (read: "shave" or "scalp") the grass well into their property, the neighbors' dogs to excrete and explore, and the neighborhood teens to take shortcuts. Um, no. I'll take it a step further: I don't even agree with the idea that one should snow blow, rake, mow, etc. another person's property without getting a heads-up from the owner. I appreciate the generosity of spirit, and if a neighbor needs a hand or is unable to do it himself, I will lend a hand -- after running it past him. One person's "sharing" is another person's "trespassing." The world would be a better place is one erred on the side of politeness: Ask first. I'm sorry that happened to you. And I'm really sorry that now you must deal with the awkward aftermath of simply asserting that someone must get out of your space. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Yes, it would most definitely bother me and I would have and *have* said something. It is disrespectful and never ceases to amaze me the sense of entitlement people have. I would never dream of putting my pinky toe on my neighbors' property, unless invited. We're only on half smile/slight wave terms with our neighbor because we won't allow them to drive their motorized toys in our yard. Sorry, but no, I don't want your 6-14 year old boys driving the 4-wheeler, dirt bike, motorcycle, or golf cart through our yard :glare:. Our other neighbors are out of the country, and their house is up for sale, so the boys (and their dad) just tear around theirs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 After I had people CUT the large sunflowers from the garden on the outside of my fence several years in a row, I quit planting outside of my fence. The joy I received from them was not equal to the anger I had over having them stolen. The "please don't steal my flowers" sign didn't help at all. Now, wild sunflowers, hollyhocks, and thistle grow in the same place, and nobody bothers to steal them or trim them or whatever. I am thinking of planting some yucca there to discourage the doggie-potty people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Yes, it would bother me. In fact, I had just laid out big flat rocks to decorate in front of my flowers. They are heavy. A neighbor child came over and moved them. Since all the kids were there, I asked my son what happened that the rocks were moved? The one child confessed. I told the kid please don't move them again. I let him know they are heavy and he could get hurt. He looked sheepish and said o.k. I can guarantee you that if the situation was reversed, my son would have been in big trouble if he had done that at the neighbors house. They are extremely strict. I am not sure why it is o.k. to come over and not take care of things in our yard when I know that would be big trouble if they did it at their own house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 It would and did bother me when we had neighbors who let their kids play in our yard. In their defense, they had a teeny tiny yard and we owned the lot between our houses. Their kids played in our huge vegetable garden, and played lawn games in the empty part of the lot. My DH worked rotating shifts and was often sleeping at 7am when they set up their croquet games and woke us up. Funny thing tho, eventually we sold part of that lot to them. ( We needed some cash to buy another house, and that prevented someone from building another house between our two homes.) First thing they did? Put up a fence. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Yes. That would bother me. A lot. Shoot, my own kid gets the what-for if he steps a foot in my flower beds. If it were just that the kids were playing a serious game of tag or hide-and-seek and, being oblivious, ran through the beds, I'd say something, but I wouldn't be ugly or upset. However, the fact that the ADULTS thought it was perfectly ok to come traipse through your beds and take photos floors me. Who does that? :confused: I have ZERO tolerance for disrespect of boundaries and personal property. Zero. Seriously--ask first. Would it really be so hard to ask if they could take some pictures by your nice flowers? No. As weird as I am about my personal property and space, if someone approaced me and asked if they could take some photos, I'd be happy to let them (probably with a polite request not to step into the beds/squash plants/etc. I put a lot of work into my beds, and I assume the OP does, too!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Can you put up a fence between their yard and yours? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoundAbout Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Yes, it would bug me. Heck I can't stand it when the neighbor's dogs get loose and come on my property. Our immediate neighbors have a beautifully landscaped southwest style side yard that is outside of their fenced area. I am on my son like the dickens to stay out of it. To quickly retrieve a ball, sure. To stand and take pictures or play - no! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwallowTail Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Yeah, I am pretty particular about my private property and my garden. I would happily indulge them if they asked, but without asking, I would feel invaded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candid Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Can you put up a fence between their yard and yours? :iagree: Good fences make good neighbors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 (edited) Would it bother you to look out your front window and see your neighbors' children in your flower garden? With their parents in full sight? Oh, and while you're watching, said parents start posing the children for photographs, once again in your garden? And then neighbors look up and see you watching them and they wave and smile happily while continuing to photograph their special snowflakes sitting beside your newly flowering yellow mums? Because it bothers me. :glare: yes it would bother me. I looked out my office window last summer to see my neighbors not only helping themselves to my raspberry bushes but inviting their friends to do the same. I even heard them tell the guests I didn't mind I never picked them. Umm nope, I do pick them, in fact I use them for jam but that was shortly after ds9's car accident and I was taking care of him so I was not out every other day like normal. This year I knew I wouldn't have time to tend them properly so I pruned them all way back. No berries for the neighbors to steal. Hopefully next summer we will be putting up a proper fence. (right now just chicken wire down the property line, but they went around it and up into my backyard to get to my berries. Edited October 9, 2012 by swellmomma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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