scrapbabe Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 What if your younger kids have a friend come over to play, they've been at your house for quite sometime, and their parents don't seem in any hurry to come and get them or call to send them home....what do you do? Do you just nicely say "it's time to so-and-so to go home"? Our neighbor friend could be here all day long and no one would come to get him. He usually just shows up to play, so there's no talking to the parents about a set time or anything. I don't want to be mean, but eventually it's time for friends to go home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristi26 Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 We have a neighbor or two like that. ;) I just tell them, "hey, we need to do X so you'll need to head home." Or I've even just poked my head in the room and said, "hey guys, can start cleaning up? It's time for so-and-so to head home now" (with a smile of course). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 You give them a 10 minute warning ("In 10 minutes you will have to go home, we have some other things to do.") then when time's up, you say, "Ok, it was fun playing with you but it's time to go now! I'll watch you walk back home (or whatever is developmentally appropriate)." Don't feel guilty. It's just a normal adult thing, asserting your boundaries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 If the child comes over alone, he can go home alone, right? "[Friend], [my son] has to get ready for dinner (whatever) now, so it's time for you to go home." You could give a 10-minute warning to finish up a game or something. I don't think it's mean to send a kid home. I hated open-ended playdates when my kids were younger and avoided them whenever I could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 We have a neighbor or two like that. ;) I just tell them, "hey, we need to do X so you'll need to head home." Or I've even just poked my head in the room and said, "hey guys, can start cleaning up? It's time for so-and-so to head home now" (with a smile of course). This. With a neighbor kid, you just tell them time to go. Non-neighbors usually have a set time to be picked up or dropped at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 We send the neighborhood kids home all the time when they've been here too long. We just say it nicely, usually with a 10-minute warning and a "Time to start cleaning up" attached to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 You give them a 10 minute warning ("In 10 minutes you will have to go home, we have some other things to do.") then when time's up, you say, "Ok, it was fun playing with you but it's time to go now! I'll watch you walk back home (or whatever is developmentally appropriate)." Don't feel guilty. It's just a normal adult thing, asserting your boundaries. :iagree: I'm getting pretty used to this now. The first time is the hardest. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 I always announced it was time to clean up and say goodbye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Anna Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 I agree - just send them home. As long as you say it with a smile, there doesn't seem to be a problem. Even when it's, "I'm sorry [Friend], but you can't stay for dinner regardless of what you say your mother told you. It really is time for you to go now." So be firm. With a smile. It's always easier to stretch a firm boundary later (if you feel you're being too firm) than to firm up a floppy one. Mama Anna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 I agree - just send them home. As long as you say it with a smile, there doesn't seem to be a problem. Even when it's, "I'm sorry [Friend], but you can't stay for dinner regardless of what you say your mother told you. It really is time for you to go now." So be firm. With a smile. It's always easier to stretch a firm boundary later (if you feel you're being too firm) than to firm up a floppy one. Mama Anna :iagree: Just tell them it's time for them to go. You don't even have to give a reason, just say it's time for them to leave. If you think the straight-forward blunt approach is too harsh, you can add "we'll see you next time" after you tell them to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 I always give my kids a warning and say "ok, we need to break this up in 15 minutes for clean up". And repeat the warning at least once. We'd have extra kids living with us if didn't do this. :D I wouldn't sweat it at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie75 Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 You give them a 10 minute warning ("In 10 minutes you will have to go home, we have some other things to do.") then when time's up, you say, "Ok, it was fun playing with you but it's time to go now! I'll watch you walk back home (or whatever is developmentally appropriate)." Don't feel guilty. It's just a normal adult thing, asserting your boundaries. :iagree: I agree with this. I remember parents of my friends, 25 years ago, saying this when it was time for me to go home. I was latch key, so I am sure my friend's parents were dealing with me not wanting to leave. lol It never bothered me as a kid. I just went home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oak Knoll Mom Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 You just say, "Time to leave! Glad you could come over and play this afternoon." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathwonk Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 there is a great scene in "trading places" illustrating this. eddie murphy abruptly turns off the record player, turns to the crowd trashing his apartment and raps his finger into his hand while saying loudly: " GIT...OUT!!!". I think that works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 I just tell them nicely it is time to go home. If it is dark outside, I watch them go home from my house, until I see them go into their house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 What if your younger kids have a friend come over to play, they've been at your house for quite sometime, and their parents don't seem in any hurry to come and get them or call to send them home....what do you do? Do you just nicely say "it's time to so-and-so to go home"? Our neighbor friend could be here all day long and no one would come to get him. He usually just shows up to play, so there's no talking to the parents about a set time or anything. I don't want to be mean, but eventually it's time for friends to go home. Well, we have one neighbor kiddo that has come as early as 7 a.m. and he wouldn't leave if I didn't send him home. When he comes to early I simply tell him that my kids can't play until ...... When he comes or any of them come for that matter, I send them home when I need/want them to go. Once this summer I found out that one of the dads had sent them over so he could go down town for a bit in the evening. He didn't say anything to me or anything. It wasn't until I sent the little guy home that I found out that the dad wasn't there (I knew that the mom was working). When the dad came to pick the kids up(I was inside) my dd told the dad that I had send the boy home and found out he wasn't there. The dad got a bit snippy with her but it hasn't happened since. It is your home, you have the right to clear the yard/house when you need/want to. I am always courteous with the kids but also don't bode any disrespect. For the most part the kids do love me and feel quite free with me but there is a limit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 "ok guys, time for ____ to get going!" That works for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pixjen Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 We send the neighborhood kids home all the time when they've been here too long. We just say it nicely, usually with a 10-minute warning and a "Time to start cleaning up" attached to it. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 Do you just nicely say "it's time to so-and-so to go home"? Yes. It's not rude. Kids don't have the social know-how to know when it's time to go home. It might help to let the child know when they arrive that they are welcome to stay and play for one hour (or until 4:30, or whatever), then it will be time for them to go. That way, they're prepared ahead of time, and you aren't left wondering if they're ever going to leave. :) Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 I just say, "Time to wrap things up!". My kids know what that means.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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