PeacefulChaos Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I may delete this later. It's mostly just a whiny, feeling sorry for myself thing. I've been thinking more about the whole moms group thing (from last night's post) and it's depressing me. I feel very lonely. I have two really good friends and, of course, DH. Friend #1 is my best friend and she's great, but we don't really see each other all that often outside of family stuff (she's my SIL) and we talk less than we did (or at least it seems like it) when she lived farther away (she now lives 10 minutes away). We try to get together once a month or so for 'dessert nights' at a local place with good desserts. :) We text relatively often. She doesn't go to our church any more so I don't see her at stuff there. Friend #2 is a fellow homeschooling mom who is a really great friend to me. She is fun to talk to and I enjoy when we get to hang out and talk and stuff, but we're both busy with homeschooling and stuff, etc. She doesn't text, which is fine, and we see each other at church on Sundays sometimes. Outside of those two, I just kind of.... wander. I have a lot of acquaintances, a lot of people that I like to talk to but it doesn't really extend any deeper than that. There are also a fair amount of people that I feel completely neglected by, completely unrespected by, and completely unliked by. I don't know why. Maybe because I thought they were my friends but then it ended up differently? Idk, it just seems like it's nearly impossible to actually find people that I enjoy spending time with and vice versa. I generally have always been one of those people who feels alone in a crowd, like I don't fit in, etc. I guess today, with all that's on my mind, it's just getting to me a little, as it does sometimes. Sigh... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upward Journey Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 :grouphug: Wanted to say that I understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAIMOM Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I may delete this later. It's mostly just a whiny, feeling sorry for myself thing. I've been thinking more about the whole moms group thing (from last night's post) and it's depressing me. I feel very lonely. I have two really good friends and, of course, DH. Friend #1 is my best friend and she's great, but we don't really see each other all that often outside of family stuff (she's my SIL) and we talk less than we did (or at least it seems like it) when she lived farther away (she now lives 10 minutes away). We try to get together once a month or so for 'dessert nights' at a local place with good desserts. :) We text relatively often. She doesn't go to our church any more so I don't see her at stuff there. Friend #2 is a fellow homeschooling mom who is a really great friend to me. She is fun to talk to and I enjoy when we get to hang out and talk and stuff, but we're both busy with homeschooling and stuff, etc. She doesn't text, which is fine, and we see each other at church on Sundays sometimes. Outside of those two, I just kind of.... wander. I have a lot of acquaintances, a lot of people that I like to talk to but it doesn't really extend any deeper than that. There are also a fair amount of people that I feel completely neglected by, completely unrespected by, and completely unliked by. I don't know why. Maybe because I thought they were my friends but then it ended up differently? Idk, it just seems like it's nearly impossible to actually find people that I enjoy spending time with and vice versa. I generally have always been one of those people who feels alone in a crowd, like I don't fit in, etc. I guess today, with all that's on my mind, it's just getting to me a little, as it does sometimes. Sigh... :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Wish I could give you more hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiniBlondes Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: I feel the same way sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rjmakmom Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I could have written your post, except my best friend isn't my sil, but the first friend I met on day 1 of freshman year 23 years ago. Hang in there. I know it's hard. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I feel the same way sometimes. I've got a lot of homeschooling acquaintances but not many close friends. I just learned that the social homeschooling group I really enjoyed last year is being discontinued unless someone will step up and take over. I would do it myself, but I'm having a baby this winter and I know I just can't take on another project now. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canadianmumof5 Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Just lots of hugs for you tonight. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I generally have always been one of those people who feels alone in a crowd, like I don't fit in, etc. I guess today, with all that's on my mind, it's just getting to me a little, as it does sometimes. Sigh... I completely understand. i often feel like my friends are more important to me than i am to them. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 :grouphug: I get it too, and I thnk you can see from the responses, that you certainly are not alone! I don't have a best friend, unless you count my 80 something year old great uncle who I talk to pretty much every day. I had a pretty close friend who is also my neighbor. We shared a lot of interests, but she kinda dumped me a few years back. At least I think that's what happened. She has made mention that their phone service provider was not good and they were missing calls on their home line. :confused: Then they switched to completely using their cells. I don't know. She also went back to work, so there may have been some stuff going on in her life. I felt like I was dumped. We're sort of friends now, but I probably wouldn't have allowed her back in my life if she were not my neighbor and did not have a Ds who is friendly with my Ds. There is one homeschooling mom I count as a friend, but we mostly email or talk on the phone b/c we are both busy. Still, we have been good support for one another through some pretty tough issues. It's worked so well b/c we are very like minded when it comes to homeschooling and family life. Neither of us have found other women who are quite so similar. I still wouldn't say we are best friends. Sorry, I didn't mean to turn this into a thread about my issues, but I do understand. Currently, I think I have a lot of aquiantances mostly through my kids activities. I'm trying to make do with that. I don't truly have time for more right now anyway. The busyness that has come with the increased activity of high school years has made it easier for me to cope with not having many friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 :grouphug: Been there- it stinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 :grouphug: I know how it feels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trresh Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I feel the same way, at times. I have a couple close friends but the rest are mainly acquaintances. I'm a little weird so I think that hinders my friend making ability a bit.:tongue_smilie: The thing is, I truly like being alone. I was like that as a kid. My aunt said that even as a toddler I'd go off by myself at family gatherings. Having said that, though, I sometimes feel bad because I'm not 'normal' enough or I don't fit in like I should. I'm starting to wonder if societal pressure to fit in the 'normal' mold is actually at the root of my discontent...not a need for more friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I understand, and you are not alone in feeling this way. :grouphug: My three closest friends (all homeschoolers) and their wonderful kids have all moved in the past 6 months to places hundreds (or thousands) of miles away. I have many days where I feel completely alone. I know it will get better, but when you're in the mire, it feels like it won't. I've learned it's okay to have down days if they are here and there, not constant. For me, I need to grieve the loss. Maybe you do too? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I know how you feel. I do not have any good nearby friends. My DH is like my BFF, but it would be nice to have another mother with children to hang out with. It just never works out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inmyopinion Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I think this is a more common feeling that we might think. I was reflecting on this tonight as I am "social" with a lot of people but, at the end of the day, I still feel alone. I am in a winey mood also and am about to eat chocolate bar, which I hope helps. It is good to let it out sometimes, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 :grouphug: I have circumstances much like you have. I have a couple of friends irl, but virtually all the homeschool moms I know here (one exception) don't want anything to do with me. :tongue_smilie: I've spent most of my adult life alone, so I'm used to it. Dh is my best friend, though, so that helps. I had to post a plea here on the board for my dd to get votes for a writing contest, since we don't know many people outside family to ask! I'm sorry you are lonely! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xixstar Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 *hugs* I share the same feelings - making friends is such a challenge and even more challenging to maintain the ones that we form as well. I wish I had good advice, but then maybe I wouldn't feel like I am in the same situation. My partner is a wonderful friend but he's not home that much and there is so much other stuff going on that I try to not drown him in all my ramblings that I wish I had a friend to call about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: I know exactly how you feel. I don't really have any good friends. I have two women that I meet up with on occasion for playdates with our children, but in both instances, I always have to be the one that initiates contact and it's frustrating. I often don't fit in with others and feel quite lonely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I know the feeling. I dont have many close friends at all. Mybest friend lives in NY so we talk a lot, ut only see each other once a year. It's hard to meet like-minded people, and i have a sneaking suspicion that my weird "introvert who talks a lot" personality doesnt work for many. :( :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: I know exactly how you feel. I don't really have any good friends. I have two women that I meet up with on occasion for playdates with our children, but in both instances, I always have to be the one that initiates contact and it's frustrating. I often don't fit in with others and feel quite lonely. :grouphug: that sounds very similar to my situation. Too bad we don't live closer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AprilTN Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I wholeheartedly understand. I sometimes feel like I have no one. My dh is my friend, but my female adult friendships have been riddled with drama, hurt, and disappointment. I don't even hope for a close friend anymore. I know lots of people, but I just can't get beyond the small talk zone, and frankly I get tired of small talk. I don't fit in with most homeschoolers in my area anyway, so that does not help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 :grouphug: I understand. I have been/am in a similar situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stayseeliz Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I have a hard time with this too. I don't have time for hanging out and playdates at this stage in my life so it's hard to have close friends. I really miss that. I get worn out by the kids too. By the time someone plans a mom's night out in our homeschool group I'm wiped out and need down time by myself. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I can really relate to what you have typed. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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