jenn- Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Two of my kids leave for Disney World with my MIL tomorrow (don't feel bad for the other two, they are going on a Disney Cruise with her in a few months). I am debating if I should supply some money for their souvenirs or make them spend their own money. I was thinking about giving them $40 apiece and telling them they can keep anything they don't spend and then doing the same for the other 2. That said, I really don't want to spend $40 of my own on Disney cr@p souvenirs so I was thinking of putting spending restrictions on it. I wouldn't mind a new t-shirt for each, but really don't need another stuffed animal or plastic cup or rubber snake. If I put restrictions on the money I give them, should I allow them to take some of their own money to spend on the cr@p? The oldest is trying to save enough money for a Kindle Fire of her own but has a hard time saying no to herself if the money is sitting there in the pocket. I think she will be more motivated to "earn" money by not spending if I give her the money, but at the same time, I view this kind of stuff as unnecessary so I almost feel I should make them take their own. So what does the Hive do when they send a kid off (say to Grandma's house or camp)? Do you provide them the spending money they use? Do you match funds? Do you make them spend their own money? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 I don't know, but I want your MIL! Mine does nothing for the kids. Nothing. Ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Do the kids have some cameras of their own? Send them with some disposables maybe? We travel often, and I "shop" for trinkets with my camera. Makes me happy and it's fun to edit them when we get home. It's fun to share them also. I've heard of people that go to big lifetime events like Disney, and scour the thrifts/second hand stores for souvenirs before the trip, then wrap them up and take them with them, and every night do a opening of a present as a major thrifty way to get around the problem of wanting "stuff" from major resorts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 I would give them what I can afford and let them spend it how they choose. Hopefully your MIL will guide them a little so that they shop around and get something they really want and will like in the long run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 This is a rare occasion, not an everyday thing, so I'd give them some spending money and let them supplement it with their own money as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 For the older two I'd definitely have them save up and take their own. I was, at that age. Is there enough time between now and the trips for them to save? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 I'd give them some money to take. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenn- Posted June 27, 2012 Author Share Posted June 27, 2012 Do the kids have some cameras of their own? Send them with some disposables maybe? We travel often, and I "shop" for trinkets with my camera. Makes me happy and it's fun to edit them when we get home. It's fun to share them also. I've heard of people that go to big lifetime events like Disney, and scour the thrifts/second hand stores for souvenirs before the trip, then wrap them up and take them with them, and every night do a opening of a present as a major thrifty way to get around the problem of wanting "stuff" from major resorts. DD does have her own camera. I need to stock up on some batteries for her though. Last time I sent her with rechargables, MIL threw them away. :glare: Disney is not a once in a lifetime event for us, so maybe that is why I am more inclined to limit the crap that comes home. As for MIL acting the responsible money spending part, :lol:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 I would give them what I can afford and let them spend it how they choose. Hopefully your MIL will guide them a little so that they shop around and get something they really want and will like in the long run. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenn- Posted June 27, 2012 Author Share Posted June 27, 2012 I don't know, but I want your MIL! Mine does nothing for the kids. Nothing. Ever. She is wonderful with the kids, but occasionally irresponsible. I've put the 12yo in charge of making sure the 6yo doesn't get lost in a crowd. Not that I think MIL would intentionally lose him, but SFIL walks really quickly without paying much attention to the people behind him. As I've lost a 3yo in Disney before, it is my ultimate paranoia about sending them without me. As a general rule, I try not to subsidize the purchase of crap. This helps inform my decisions like the one you're trying to make. This sounds like a good way to think of it. This is a rare occasion, not an everyday thing, so I'd give them some spending money and let them supplement it with their own money as well. I think this is what I might end up doing. Maybe give them each $20 and let them carry $20 of their own. For the older two I'd definitely have them save up and take their own. I was, at that age. Is there enough time between now and the trips for them to save? It is actually the middle two doing the cruise. They have money from their birthdays that they could spend (all do), but they are also attempting to save for a Fire. Other than odd chores around the house (like when I beg one of them to fold the 6yo clothing), they really don't have much money making opportunities. I'd give them some money to take. Thanks for the reply. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djsmom Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 (edited) I would give them some spending money and allow them use SOME of their own money if they choose to. I would also advise them on the types of things you would prefer they purchase (or not purchase) but ultimately let them have the choice. ETA: although I will caution you that if you leave them the choice they could end up coming home with something like this which is exactly what my son came home with from a trip to Universal Studios back in March with his uncle & cousin. My husband and I almost didn't recognize him picking him up at the airport......yes, he wore it all the way home on the plane. Edited June 27, 2012 by Charlotte Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2bbj Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Maybe entice them to add the $40.00 to their kindle fire savings. Saying "I wanted to give you some extra spending money for Disney, but I KNOW you'd rather have the Fire than a T-Shirt..." My kidos would take the hint. We frequent WDW alot, so the kids are used to me saying - "We'll pick that up next time." By then they forget it. I'll love the shopping with the camera idea. I'll be using that on our next trip! Good Luck! Vickie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 We give our dd's a set amount on vacation plus buy one t-shirt of their choice. Anything else that they want, above and beyond, must come out of their own funds. When we went to Universal Orlando last fall they had been saving every bit they could for souvenirs (actually, I was too!), so we switched it up a bit. We bought each a wand at WWoHP and some candy at Honeydukes. The rest was on their own...and they had plenty to spend. Universal was our first BIG vacation. I am totally ok with them (and us) spending all kinds of money on what some of you call "crap" in that situation! They came home with some cool souvenirs. Our vacations to visit my fil in Florida come along more often, so they get less spending money for that. In your shoes I would give them some money and then let them supplement with their own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Just remember: your idea of cr@p might be their idea of a precious memory. I buy coffee mugs when we go away. I enjoy drinking out of them (coffee, tea, soda, water... ANYTHING!) and remembering the good times. LOL, I even use my mugs for the family at dinner instead of glasses. Makes me happy. BabyBaby buys things like that too. She gets sad when she outgrows a t-shirt, so she buys something for the house or her room instead. But dumb stuff like glow sticks and personal-fans-on-a-necklace-with-a-water-squirter? http://www.orientaltrading.com/island-hibiscus-fan-and-spray-bottles-a2-34_1910-46-1.fltr?xsaleSku=26/2132 Buy those at the dollar store or 5Below before the trip. So, what I would do: Send them with $10 or $20 for a specific item and they keep the change to use toward their thing they're saving for only- no junk spending. Let them take a set amount of their own money for fun spending, no complaints from you about what they buy, no whining from them about how they have to save longer for their thing they were saving for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 I had $50 for each child to spend at Disney (I have 4 kids) + each could pick out a tshirt. I didn't restrict the spending on "crap" so to speak because crap to me might be delightful to them as kids (within reason.) My oldest did chores for her grandma and earned extra money. She is very good about saving and thoughtful about spending so I let her buy a few more items out of her own money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SebastianCat Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Can you give them some money and say, "I'd like to buy you each a t-shirt" or something specific like that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 I would either give them the money and not put restrictions on it or not give them the money. I wouldn't give them spending money with restrictions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 I would either give them the money and not put restrictions on it or not give them the money. I wouldn't give them spending money with restrictions. This would be my approach... I'd give them the money without restriction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RachelFlores Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 IMO, vacation spending money is a learning opportunity. My parents gave us spending money for all our vacations which had to include ALL souveniers and any special snacks that the whole family wasn't eating. We knew that if we didn't spend it, we got to keep it. My parents would advise us, "If you get that, you won't have money for later." or, "That will likely break quickly, wouldn't you rather...", but the ultimate decision was up to us. Yes, I made bad decisions and bought crap and I made good decisions with a few things that I still have today, but I really felt it helped me learn value and budgeting much better than if at each place we went, my parents let me pick out one thing or if they had put restrictions on it, like you can only get a shirt. I'd give them some spending money and make some suggestions on how they spend it, but give them the ultimate choice. If they make a bad decisions, let them learn from it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 We share money as a family, so my dc would talk with us to decide what they wanted. They each have a type of souvenir they collect (bells, etc.) so they would want a bit for that, and we would budget for it. There would be no junk buying, because we have better things to spend money on. I would probably suggest a t-shirt each and add money for that, because I know they really enjoy having fun t-shirts from trips. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Can you give them some money and say, "I'd like to buy you each a t-shirt" or something specific like that? My kids would respond really well to something like this. I'd give them or MIL enough money to buy a t-shirt for each child and let them know you want them to be able to purchase a shirt so they can remember the trip. To steer them away from the idea that it was a restriction on their spending money, I'd call it t-shirt money instead of spending money. Then I'd encourage them to take a reasonable amount of their own money to buy whatever they want. My kids like souvenir t's, and I know they'd respond well to the idea that Mom's willing to pitch in to buy them each a t-shirt. :) Otherwise, if I had the money to send and my kids would be confused or see it as an unnecessary restriction, I'd give them each 20 bucks and let them spend it as they wish. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenn- Posted June 27, 2012 Author Share Posted June 27, 2012 Thank you everyone for your responses. If I was going with them to be the voice of reason, the situation would be different. Unfortunately when my youngest wants the flashing light thing for $10 at a parade that will die before they get home, my MIL would just say okay. We have been there with her as a family and there has been many of time that I tell the kids I won't waste my money on XYZ only for MIL to buy it for them. This doesn't happen if I flat out refuse the item for some reason but if it falls into the category of "her money, her waste". DD has already said she was thinking about getting a new pajama top or t-shirt. I have reminded her to buy one she can wear for awhile as once she came back with a shirt I considered too small for her to be wearing at that point much less months from then. I think she learned that lesson though as she could only wear it the one summer where she can normally get a couple of seasons out of clothing when I am buying. I won't mind if they come back with stuff I don't necessarily approve of in the junk factor, they will just have to store it at MIL's house as I am in purge mode here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Set an amount of their own money you are comfortable with them taking and let them spend it the way they want. One of my most valuable money lessons was the year I spend $3.00 precious dollars on spun glass animals with pastel tips. There were six in the box. I lingered over them for nearly an hour and returned the next day to purchase. When I got them home and opened, they were plastic! I was so crushed, but wiser. When it's your own money, whatever you are buying has more meaning and more room for learning value. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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