alisoncooks Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 (edited) I . Edited July 27, 2022 by alisoncooks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 I don't know, but I sure feel your pain. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lab1 Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 I could have written your post! I was so sure I was pg too. Same symptoms with morning sickness too. Two negative tests and my cycle started. I'm relieved as I'm not ready to add to our family yet, or maybe ever. I'm quite conflicted honestly and haven't reached the feeling of peace yet. I've "started over" before and we still sometimes wonder why we thought it was a good idea :lol: I've enjoyed having my little ones, but it makes for an interesting ride. My youngest was 6 when we had a baby, followed by another so he wouldn't be alone. I never felt "done" with my girls. I felt like I needed a sanity break with the huge trials I had in my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 I'm currently in the "no more" stance. My youngest is 12 months and I just feel peace with being done. The 0-12 month stage is really, really difficult for me (as is early pregnancy). So, while I absolutely ADORE my baby, I know that she completes our family and you know what? It's a freeing feeling for me. Now all we have to do is get dh an appt for a vascectomy (then I may do some freaking out lololol). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applethyme Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 We have two children that are 4yrs and 5yrs old. We will not have any more biological children and are comfortable with that decision. There may be a time that foster or adopt but not right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 We are 100% positively done. To the point that I get twitchy around children younger than mine, because I do not want to deal with those stages anymore...not even for an hour, some days. :D Find a few toddlers and/or pre-teens to hang out with for a few days. What does your inner voice say then? I'd have babies 10 times over, but they grow up and get attitudes... :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mélie Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 My boys keep asking for a sister, and now they've convinced Dh to reconsider his "no more kids" stance. :glare: We'll see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted June 13, 2012 Author Share Posted June 13, 2012 (edited) z Edited July 27, 2022 by alisoncooks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted June 13, 2012 Author Share Posted June 13, 2012 (edited) . Edited July 27, 2022 by alisoncooks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 I have said countless times that we are absolutely, positively FINISHED having children. I had such miserably sick pregnancies and we're enjoying our girls at their current stages. And we don't own a single item suitable for a human less than 4 yrs old (no crib, no baby books, no baby toys, clothes, NOTHING). A few weeks ago, DH & I were...ahem, celebrating the fact that our girls (now 4 and 6) were old enough to spend a few nights away from home. That was followed by a few weeks of panic (I'll spare the details, except to say the timing was perfect for pregnancy and we weren't as careful as need be.) I spent two weeks over-thinking...and mourning the potential loss of our freedom...and being open to the possibility of more kiddos. Two negative pregnancy tests (and a started cycle later) I'm sure we're in the clear. (I had several symptoms -- nausea, odor sensitivity...maybe it was a virus -- which is why I tested.) And I'm surprised to find that now I'm somewhat disappointed. Just curious...anyone NOT regret sticking to the "no more" stance? Does the urge to add pass? I have never, not for one moment, ever regretted my "no more" stance. My ds is almost 13 now and I am enjoying the freedom that comes with his maturation and growing independence. I would much prefer to look forward to grandchildren, if I'm lucky enough to live that long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 We are done, surgery so no going back, and there are times that I have baby pangs, but overall, I am in a good place with it. The pangs hang around for a few days, but they never last too long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Dh turned 51 shortly after dd was born and I was 38. We knew before she was ever conceived that she would be our last. I've never felt even a moment of regret for that decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katiebug_1976 Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Don't let the fact that you don't have any baby things stop you. I had just given away the last of our baby stuff the week before we found out baby #7 was on the way. So, now here we go again...completely starting from scratch!LOL!! I do have to say, dh & I thought that we were finished after dc#4, however, God obviously thought differently. Several times both of us started thinking about another baby, and guess what...that feeling never went away until the next dc was born. We were pretty sure that we were finished after our last (dc#6), even to the point of talking to the dr. about making it permanent. However, we opted not to at the last minute. After bringing dc#6 home from the hospital, we started counting heads to make sure everyone was accounted for because we all (older kids included) had this wierd feeling that someone was missing. We joked about it and ignored it for a long time...but the "missing child" is due to join us in December. I have to say, I don't know how I would have felt had we prevented this little one from becoming a part of our family. Anyway, all this to say...if you have a longing or even are thinking about more children there may be a reason for those thoughts. God speaks in mysterious ways!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lab1 Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 This is where I *was*. We were talking about adopting once our girls got a few years older... So your children's ages are about what mine would be, if we were to add to add a new little one. How was that "starting over" stage for you? I can't even imagine homeschooling with a baby/infant (and I know so many ladies here to it, with many more littles!) DH & I are going to talk about it. I might just be caught up in the dream of it...& I really do enjoy our freedom now. We just pick up and go to the zoo for a morning.... that's only something we've recently been able to do. No one naps in our home, our days are wide open & free.... everyone sleeps all night long, etc. Those things are *SO* appealing to me. :D my third was my favorite! I have rough pg, but my girls were 6 & 7. They could switch over laundry and little chores. Adding him was wonderful! Such a sweet baby (after the colic) and we did so much. Our lives were great. So great we had a planned brother for him 16 months later. That's when life got crazy! Trying to keep up with a toddler and infant was crazy! Homeschool with a baby is easy for me. It gets hard when they learn to crawl/walk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennifersLost Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 I found it to be kind of a process to fully accept not having more kids. There were a few times when I had "baby fever" - but I found it passed pretty quickly. The older my youngest gets, the less it's been an issue at all. I'm in such a different place now. While I look forward to grandkids, I have no desire to have a baby of my own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.Balaban Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 I am in the "no more" bandwagon. My reason is entirely medical. My pregnancies seem to be getting worse- though, I've never had a good pregnancy - and I'm afraid of what another pregnancy like my DD's would do to my family. Yet, I still second-guess our decision. DD is nearing 2, so I get baby fever occasionally. It wears off, but I still think about it sometime. It hurts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 I have said countless times that we are absolutely, positively FINISHED having children. I had such miserably sick pregnancies and we're enjoying our girls at their current stages. And we don't own a single item suitable for a human less than 4 yrs old (no crib, no baby books, no baby toys, clothes, NOTHING). A few weeks ago, DH & I were...ahem, celebrating the fact that our girls (now 4 and 6) were old enough to spend a few nights away from home. That was followed by a few weeks of panic (I'll spare the details, except to say the timing was perfect for pregnancy and we weren't as careful as need be.) I spent two weeks over-thinking...and mourning the potential loss of our freedom...and being open to the possibility of more kiddos. Two negative pregnancy tests (and a started cycle later) I'm sure we're in the clear. (I had several symptoms -- nausea, odor sensitivity...maybe it was a virus -- which is why I tested.) And I'm surprised to find that now I'm somewhat disappointed. Just curious...anyone NOT regret sticking to the "no more" stance? Does the urge to add pass? I was done after two. Then dh wanted another baby and I knew I'd never regret having another one, but someday I might regret not having another one. Then I was done with three... Then dh wanted *another* baby. Again, I figured I'd never regret it. Now we're really done with four. If I didn't have health issues during pregnancy we probably would have ended up with more, but I get high blood pressure and end up hospitalized, on bed rest, and induced early. It gets worse with each pregnancy and we knew we couldn't have another while trying to take care of four kids plus we didn't want to put my health or the new baby's health at risk, so we were really finished having kids. Now that all of mine are 6 and up I am thankful for only four. When the littlest was 2 I really, really wanted another baby. Then my sister got pregnant and I was so happy for her, but so sad that I'd never have another one. I really felt like I would always be wishing for one more baby. That feeling did go away - completely, actually. I am really enjoying this phase in our lives and I like being able to give the kind of attention I'm able to give to my kids now that everyone is old enough to wait their turn or find something to do independently. It's kind of nice :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneezyone Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 If money were no object we'd probably do one more, especially if we had an easy baby like DD!! Unfortunately for us DD doesn't share our DNA so holding out for an 'easy' baby is a fool's errand. We're Type A, demanding people and DS came out that way too. With every passing year I feel the window closing and we're getting to the point where I don't think our oldest would adjust well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted June 13, 2012 Author Share Posted June 13, 2012 (edited) . Edited July 27, 2022 by alisoncooks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 We had our little guy when my girls were 6 and 4. He has been so much fun! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 I think it's perfectly normal to feel disappointed - after all, you were gearing yourself up for the possibility in as positive a way as possible, and there are lots of wonderful things about having a baby, planned or not. But feeling a touch of longing for the road not taken doesn't mean you should have taken that road, kwim? If you don't have another baby, you will sometimes think wistfully of what could have been. And if you DO have another baby, you will sometimes think wistfully of what could have been. :D So, it's great that you have time to sort it out. I have 2 girls, 2 years apart, and I have never regretted the decision to not have more. The pregnancy, infant and toddler stages are wonderful but exhausting for me. I organize a lot of tween/teen activities, and I know I wouldn't be able to pull that off with little ones around. Yes, I have pangs, but they pass quickly, lol. If you can wait at least a year before deciding, I would. When my girls got to about 5 & 7, life got so. much. easier! And it just keeps getting easier in many ways, even with teen drama thrown in. Had we gotten the models that sleep and transition well, I might feel differently, but we got the ones that couldn't sleep in a car seat, stroller, or public area of any type, and who melted down with too much stimuli. We stayed home a LOT when they were little, and that's much harder to do with older kids in the mix. Siblings can be very different, of course, but the odds aren't in our favor. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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