7yr wants to discuss birds and bees.

[homefree3]

After studying cell division on his own, my 7 year old has been doing some heavy thinking. He wants to know how "the male sperm gets to the egg". He ask me if the sperm is transmitted with saliva. I changed that discussion to stomach acid. I have been avoiding the topic all week.

 

This is coming from a kid that still FIRMLY believes in Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. Last month he was perplexed that the satellites could not detect Santa's complex under the North Pole. He finally accepted that Santa's magic was just too strong.

 

I don't know how to proceed on a level appropriate discussion with him. I thought this was years away. I know that I must give him the facts but I am concerned about him discussing it with siblings and friends at school. What is appropriate at this age? Can you recommend any good books that takes on this topic? Any advice would help.:bigear:

[regentrude]

My DD asked when she was 5 :)

 

When they are ready to ask, they are ready for an answer. Simply tell him the truth - unembellished, as a scientific fact, not as something that has a lot of emotional baggage. It is MUCH easier at this age than later; he is young enough to see it as something abstract that does not have to do anything with *himself* (when they approach puberty, they find this much more embarrassing). Answer his questions and stop when he stops asking; that's how you know it is sufficient for now.

 

I don't see what it would have to do with Santa. My DD continued believing in Santa for several years after having the full facts on human reproduction.

 

If you are concerned about him sharing with friends, you can tell him that some parents prefer to be the ones to tell their kids and that he should not go around explaining to friends. But siblings? Why would it be a problem if he told a sibling?

[slackermom]

DD had many questions about this around age 5, and I found this book at the library (aimed at K-3rd kids):

 

http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763600474

 

I thought it was all handled pretty well in the book, but DH thought it had way too much info. Especially when DD started discussing the topic very openly at a party at his uncle's rectory. I had to have a couple of conversations about when, where, and with whom one could discuss this material. You can see the book's index page on Amazon to see topics.

 

The same authors do other books for kids slightly older (2nd grade+) and bit older than that (5th grade+). I haven't looked at them very closely, but I suspect we will be revisiting this topic again soon. DD really wants her 8th birthday party to have "baby shower" theme. :001_unsure:

[Embassy]

When my ds first asked I think he was around 5 and I gave an answer that satisfied him at the time "the Daddy puts it in the Mama". He didn't ask further at that point, but I told him the how a couple years later. I don't know if that answer would satisfy a 7 year old, but I would answer the question and if he asks further answer those. For my kid it was like another topic in science rather than something weird.

[Crimson Wife]

If you want something with a Christian perspective, I really like Stan and Brenna Jones' God's Design for S*x series.

[nmoira]

This is coming from a kid that still FIRMLY believes in Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. Last month he was perplexed that the satellites could not detect Santa's complex under the North Pole. He finally accepted that Santa's magic was just too strong.

I'm no help with the rest (not yet sufficiently caffeinated) but I bet he'll love:

 

How Santa Really Works

 

(ignore the age recommendations... my 10yo smarty-pants still reads it)

[yobella]

DD had many questions about this around age 5, and I found this book at the library (aimed at K-3rd kids):

 

http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763600474

 

 

We read this one by the same author that I found at our library http://www.amazon.com/Amazing-About-Sperm-Babies-Families/dp/0763600512/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_b

[quark]

My DD asked when she was 5 :)

 

When they are ready to ask, they are ready for an answer. Simply tell him the truth - unembellished, as a scientific fact, not as something that has a lot of emotional baggage. It is MUCH easier at this age than later; he is young enough to see it as something abstract that does not have to do anything with *himself* (when they approach puberty, they find this much more embarrassing). Answer his questions and stop when he stops asking; that's how you know it is sufficient for now.

 

I don't see what it would have to do with Santa. My DD continued believing in Santa for several years after having the full facts on human reproduction.

 

If you are concerned about him sharing with friends, you can tell him that some parents prefer to be the ones to tell their kids and that he should not go around explaining to friends. But siblings? Why would it be a problem if he told a sibling?

 

:iagree: Everything regentrude says. My son is quite sensitive and aware of "adult-speak" for issues like birds and the bees and other mature topics. He instinctively knows when people are trying to avoid being direct. So I wanted to be honest and ensure he always trusts me. If I said anything else, I would have lost his trust. So we had a bit of a talk when he was 5. I kept it simple, factual and scientific. And we have been having other little chats since then too. I found it easier to approach it from a young age. I don't feel shy to speak of it now despite being brought up very differently myself.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide! :001_smile:

[Iucounu]

After studying cell division on his own, my 7 year old has been doing some heavy thinking. He wants to know how "the male sperm gets to the egg". He ask me if the sperm is transmitted with saliva. I changed that discussion to stomach acid. I have been avoiding the topic all week.

 

This is coming from a kid that still FIRMLY believes in Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. Last month he was perplexed that the satellites could not detect Santa's complex under the North Pole. He finally accepted that Santa's magic was just too strong.

He accepted? Did he think of that himself?

 

I would just tell him the truth. A discussion of the biology involved doesn't have to be raunchy or inappropriate; you've got to remember that he is not laboring under the same set of perceived taboos that you are, and will take everything as natural and normal as long as it's presented that way.

 

In my opinion, "level appropriate" at any age can include a full discussion of the entire process of conception from a scientific perspective. What's to lose? You gain a child free from all sorts of misconceptions and hangups that might be started by hearing things from other kids at school, a child who will be less likely to engage in risky behaviors and more honest in discussions about sexuality later, etc.

Edited June 9, 2012 by Iucounu

[Greenmama2]

In my opinion, "level appropriate" at any age can include a full discussion of the entire process of conception from a scientific perspective. What's to lose? You gain a child free from all sorts of misconceptions and hangups that might be started by hearing things from other kids at school, a child who will be less likely to engage in risky behaviors and more honest in discussions about sexuality later, etc.

:iagree:

[ebunny]

I mentioned to DD that most species 'mate' to reproduce. And then I guided her in the general direction of Nat Geo or Discovery or Animal Planet, which invariably had a segment on mating (not in full detail though).

 

I've used the example of the animal kingdom to also quench her curiosity about the process of giving birth. For eg- we watched a cow giving birth to a calf and we got into a discussion about mammals and birth canals. I 'think' she might have extrapolated that to humans, because the questions stopped. :D

[Laura Corin]

Calvin asked when he was about four. It went something like this:

 

Me: The sperm swim to the egg and the fastest one combines with the egg. If all goes well, the combined sperm and egg might become a baby.

C: How does the sperm come out of the man's body and find the egg?

Me: The sperm comes out of the man's willy. He puts his willy in the woman's vagina and the sperm swim up inside her and find the egg.

C: Really? That's very strange.

Me: It does sound a bit weird, doesn't it?

 

That was it. Then the conversation recurred and we moved into more detail at intervals over the years.

 

Best of luck,

 

Laura

[EKS]

Calvin asked when he was about four. It went something like this:

 

Me: The sperm swim to the egg and the fastest one combines with the egg. If all goes well, the combined sperm and egg might become a baby.

C: How does the sperm come out of the man's body and find the egg?

Me: The sperm comes out of the man's willy. He puts his willy in the woman's vagina and the sperm swim up inside her and find the egg.

C: Really? That's very strange.

Me: It does sound a bit weird, doesn't it?

 

That was it. Then the conversation recurred and we moved into more detail at intervals over the years.

 

 

This was essentially the discussion here too, complete with the comment about it being strange.

[acurtis75]

If you want something with a Christian perspective, I really like Stan and Brenna Jones' God's Design for S*x series.

:iagree:

[boscopup]

If you want something with a Christian perspective, I really like Stan and Brenna Jones' God's Design for S*x series.

 

I just read this to my 5 year old today, as he's been asking questions this week. The tone of the book is annoying, but it seemed to the trick. He didn't ask much beyond that, so I was thrilled!

 

My almost-8 year old hasn't asked at all yet.

[jenbrdsly]

DD had many questions about this around age 5, and I found this book at the library (aimed at K-3rd kids):

 

http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763600474

 

 

Is it just me, or does that book look like it has the same illustrator as Robert Munch's Smelly Socks?

[homefree3]

Thanks for all the advice on this issue. With your encouragement I had a very factual talk with ds and his questions have been answered. A very brief explanation was all that was needed at this point.