Lizzie in Ma Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 I used to always know where we were and where we were going. I like it that way, planners, checklists, moving right along on the "to do" lists. Life is so different now and I am having a hard time coping some days. I am not unhappy but sometimes it all gets a little overwhelming, you know? See, I know you do so that is why I feel I can share here. My sister in law, who I absolutely adore, is dying from angiosarcoma and my husband is a wreck. He is my rock and now I have to be his, and I can do that, I am honored to do that, but it hurts so much seeing him sob this morning. Cancer sucks. Our oldest has been in treatment for a long undiagnosed case of Lyme disease since 8/29/2011. Most days she is completely unable to do school because of the cognitive difficulties she has because it is also in her brain. It was so hard to report how far she is behind to the school but I do have to say that I was stunned with how supportive they were. I am terrified to go see the new doctors, a pediatric infectious disease guy and a neurologist because Lyme is "simple to cure" according to the ISDA. My brain hurts trying to understand the divisiveness and politics of this disease. Today, she is done with antibiotics for 4 whole weeks. I've forgotten what it's like to not have alarms going off 24 hours a day for pills, vitamins and supplements. How wonderful this break will be for all of us. But I've no idea where to go from here and hope like hell the new doctors will have a valid game plan. Our youngest is just fostering this attitude of discontent and it is so utterly unlike her that I am reeling. She is 11 and is so miserable and I don't know how, I don't know why and I can't seem to fix it. She keeps saying I won't understand. She is resentful of her sister "getting to sleep all the time and not having to do school" I just want to smack her, or hold her and rock her like I used to do when that always made everything better. She hates everything about school. She has poor self image which stuns me as she is tall and thin and gorgeous. I am trying to teach her that joy is a choice to make every day irregardless of external circumstances and even in all this, I do choose joy. But how do you teach it? Clearly just example isn't working. Is it the age? Something is wrong with my Dad and it is scaring the hell out of my Mom who is about to get her knees replaced. I am blessed with a very close family so we are completely "on" the situation but there is just so much we can do when he refuses to go to the ER. I just needed to say this somewhere, so, thank you for letting me. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: It does sound overwhelming. Wish I had an answer that would help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paisley Hedgehog Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caitilin Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: Take care of you, mama. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 (edited) :grouphug: :grouphug: Regarding your 11yo, have you tried giving her borage oil? If this is PMS type hormones, that is a nutrient that sometimes makes all the difference in the world. When DD was 12, I could tell she needed some by how *I* felt around her--if she was infuriating to the max, and completely unreasonable and rude and unkind, I would pull out the bottle and say, "Here, take two and then we will talk." Edited January 30, 2012 by Carol in Cal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaAkins Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: I am so sorry for all you are having to handle. It does sound overwhelming. Praying for you to find peace and strength to handle everything that is on your plate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elinor Everywhere Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 Wow, Lizzie, I'm so sorry. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 Oh my word, that's a heavy load. I'm so sorry for what you're all going through right now :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: Regarding your 11yo, have you tried giving her borage oil? If this is PMS type hormones, that is a nutrient that sometimes makes all the difference in the world. When DD was 12, I could tell she needed some by how *I* felt around her--if she was infuriating to the max, and completely unreasonable and rude and unkind, I would pull out the bottle and say, "Here, take two and then we will talk." No, thank for the idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 No wonder you are overwhelmed. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdwinglips Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: SO sorry for all that you are dealing with. Understandably overwhelming. God bless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 No, thank for the idea. You're welcome! Hope you have some easing of all your issues soon. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug: praying for you all! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Family comes first. I would take a break if needed. School can wait. Visiting a dying SIL/Aunt might be more educational in the long run. Or even helping Grandma & grandpa. Just because it isn't learning from a book doesn't mean it isn't educational. Or just do bare essentials, math & reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 That's a lot to handle! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 Thank you for taking the time, all of you. It really helped. XO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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