Ugh! Does anyone else's son "hate" to read?

[Surfside Academy]

I'm so frustrated! My son is almost 8 and making him read is such a chore. He whines that reading is "boring". We had a little row about it and I told him he doesn't like to read because he's lazy. Reading takes more effort than watching tv or playing games and therefore, he doen't like to do it. I know it's not a "learning" issue. He reads fine...when he wants to. He has the tools to sound out words and I'm not making him read anything above skill level. Academically, he does fine.

 

Maybe I've ruined him w/ tv. It's not on a lot but but he does watch some. We also have video games but he is limited to about an hour/week. I just feel like I'm stuck between "all or nothing" when it comes to media. The bottom line is he will never choose books over media. Should I just give in and let him be a media junkie (I say this sacastically, of course...sort of.) :glare:

[Jen500]

Have you tried letting him read some books that may not be the 'best' reading material? Like Captain Underpants. Maybe that would spark his interest in reading other books. My dss enjoyed The Big Book of Boy Stuff, by Bart King, I think. Does your son like to read magazines?

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

You might want to try this- for every half hour of reading (or whatever you want him to do), he earns a half hour of TV or video game time. Is there a reading program at your library or somewhere that might make reading into more of a game for him?

 

I am sure others will have lots more and better suggestions.

[Sue G in PA]

You're not alone. All of my ds's HATE to read. They'd rather do their chores if that gives you any idea. Trust me, I've given them that choice before: chores or reading. They chose chores. :glare: My ds10 is just now starting to tolerate reading. He even got two (count them...2!) books out of the library yesterday and promised he'd read them! I'll believe it when I see it! If it's any consolation, my boys don't watch too much tv. They'd rather be outside playing, building, making movies, riding bikes, etc. They are just very active and reading isn't a very active activity, KWIM? Now, my dd11 otoh...is a voracious reader. She just finished all 13 Series of Unf. Events books (in less than a month). She reads approx. 3-4 novels each month (some are "twaddle" books, but most are good reads). My dh admitted that he never was much of a reader as a child or young adult and isn't even what I would consider a "reader" now. He is very intelligent, well spoken, a terrific writer, etc. Just doesn't like to read!

 

I've relaxed a bit since dh told me that. I figure if my dh can graduate Phi Beta Kappa from a college w/out really liking to read....well, my ds's will be okay! Oh, that's not to say that I still don't MAKE them read every day! :D They do. They must. I just don't force novels down their throat if they are more content to read non-fiction (which my ds's are!).

[Surfside Academy]

So,what I'm hearing is that it's not my fault...boys just have a genetic defect! :D I have thought about Captain Underpants and other such books. I've always been hesitant though. I've heard books like Goosebumps (which he would like) have poor sentence structure but this is probably why kids like to read them...they're easy. Maybe I'll have to compromise...one books he chooses, then one I choose. The scary thing is that I've got 2 more boys coming up behind him!

[Sunshine State Sue]

I wouldn't say that my ds12 hates to read, but it's certainly not anywhere near the top of his list. He is active and energetic and prefers moving OR sitting in front of a computer or video game (which is easier than reading).

 

Here are a few things that have worked here:

1. Allow listening to books while eating, playing with legos, cleaning room, etc.

2. Read exciting books aloud until they are hooked, then he will finish it himself. This worked lots in the younger ages.

3. Allow reading past "bedtime".

 

More and more, I am requiring reading time during school hours with books that I have chosen. The rest of the time, the book choice is his.

[dkt320]

Sue,

My DS (8) is also a very reluctant reader. What are your guidelines on how much yours read everyday? Do you go by time or amount read? Out loud or silently?

[siloam]

My 8yo dd would only do graphic novels ugh! Now she did have some other issues with skipping lines as well, so I finally took her into a vision therapist and in doing eye exercises it suddenly got a lot easier to read. I really think they just needed a good workout! We had been doing the therapy for about 4 months before it just seemed to click, and she has read 3 no picture books in the last month. I am just ***thrilled***.

 

Heather

 

Wanted to add: The kids are allowed an hour on the computer every day and often watch their siblings play :rolleyes: TV they watch about a half an hour a day, and on the weekends they play video games for a couple of hours...and computer...and TV. I don't know if it helps, but I don't believe in living in a no electronics bubble.

[Tweed]

From my personal experience, I would get rid of the television. It's hard to compete with that. We used to shut off the television for 6 months at a time. It takes about 6 months of no television before they "detox" from it. LOL Seriously, though. Just when my son would pick up a book, it was time to turn the cable back on. A year ago, we made the decision not to turn it back on, and he reads and does all sorts of wonderful creative things now. Oh, and we had to limit computer games to once a week--Fridays. My dd would choose to read whether there was a television or not, but I think for most boys, the television and the games will win every time. ;)

[mchel210]

My ds12 is not a reluctant reader....he down right HATEs reading with a captial H.

 

I have to say...this year he hates me as I put him in Sonlight...LOL. But...It gives him a set schedule. You must read x, y, z and it is getting done now by the end of the day. He is reading more now then he did in the last 5 years put together and I am hearing much less whining as I say here is your schedule...just get it done.

 

He loves me to read with him. We love sitting together doing read alouds. That is his favorite part of homeschooling...but what a change to have his schedule.

 

I would recommend you pick up whatever he is reading and schedule it out for him into bite sizes per day...and it is a lot easier then holding the big book and just reading.

 

Now my girls...they are opposite. THey LOVE to read and never stop reading. Such a difference. I am sooooooooo thrilled they are not like their brother for reading. I cant imagine 3 of kids that hate to read here.

[Rebecca in VA]

She's a very good reader, but her attention span is short. She races through books at top speed, which means she'll get the story on the surface but miss a great deal of the more subtle, hard-to-dig out material. She even dislikes watching DVDs because it's hard for her to pay attention.

 

I read all material that's anywhere near grade level (6th) aloud with her. That's the ONLY way she'll slow down and pay attention. That's also the only way she'll discover the meanings of words she's unfamiliar with -- I constantly stop and ask her if she knows what they mean.

 

Reading every single fiction book aloud with her is extremely time-consuming, but I feel it's necessary. She just has to get used to digesting written material. She needs to "hear" it in her head.

 

My husband, who graduated from Rice with an engineering degree and who worked as a nuclear engineer for the Navy, was never a reader in his younger years. My daughter is exactly like him. However, he turned out very well, and that gives me hope for my daughter's future.

[Lolly]

dd1 was able to read well by age 5. by age 7 she was capable of reading anything at pretty much any level. She rarely will read on her own free will. She doesn't mind reading when she is reading to people; she just doesn't like to read to herself. Problem: it isn't a social activity. She likes socialness.

 

dd2 truly despises reading. She is dyslexic and it is extremely hard work. It makes her brain hurt.

 

ds doesn't like to read. Reason, it is just not active enough. You have to sit STILL while you read. Doing flips and bouncing make sit hard to keep track of where you are. he is 11 now. Still doesn't sit still very well.

 

dd3 love to read. She always has a book with her.

 

I haven't done anything different with any of these kids. My home is loaded with good books and bad books that are fun. I have read to them the whole way along. They have had proper instruction in reading. I have come to the conclusion that liking to read is a personality trait just like liking tomatoes. Who couldn't love tomatoes? Well...Most people like them (dd3). Some people just tolerate them (dd1 and ds). And some people are downright allergic to them (dd2). (Hopefully allergy shots or time will help.)

 

your ds is only 8. If he is capable of reading, just make sure he practices. One day he may want to read for enjoyment. At 8, the books that are available to read on your level aren't always the most enjoyable things around.

[Sunshine State Sue]

Sue,

My DS (8) is also a very reluctant reader. What are your guidelines on how much yours read everyday? Do you go by time or amount read? Out loud or silently?

 

We used SOTW for 2nd-5th grade. I got tons of the supplemental books out of the library and read a lot to him. I read to him every morning and every bedtime. I still read aloud to him, but it doesn't happen as much anymore. Anyway, ds would read a lot of the books at bedtime to himself. Mostly, because he had a choice: read or sleep.

 

I noticed during 5th grade that he was reading less and less at bedtime, so in 6th grade I instituted 30min of reading (from supplemental history books) 3x a week in general. Sometimes, I may have instituted #pages/day because it needed to be done in a certain amount of time based on our history program. I would like to increase his reading to an hour a day. There seems to be a number of people on these boards that require 1hr of school-related reading a day.

 

For 7th grade, he will have more assigned reading from history and literature, so we'll see.

 

I have to admit that my son has read any book I have required him to read without a problem. He read Caesar's Gallic Wars this year. I couldn't make it past the first chapter or two myself...:tongue_smilie:

 

I just checked the reading level of the books my ds checks out of the library these days. He is into the Secrets of Droon series - 4th grade level. Sigh!

[PeterPan]

Well I'm only reading the thread out of fear that I may have one of these dreaded boy non-readers soon too, hehe, but I did have a suggestion. Can they read while doing something physical? I've been known to walk our driveway while reading an engaging SL catalog, so I'm guessing a boy could read while walking a track, doing a treadmill, or riding a stationary bike. Just a thought.

[BizyPenguin]

but he's gotten a lot better over the past year. He doesn't complain about doing it. I let him choose what he wants to read, though. For me, that was the key to changing him from one who loathed reading into one who began enjoying it. He still wouldn't pick up a book to read in his free time, but at least there is no whining about the required daily reading anymore. So, trust me, there is hope!

[SmallChanges]

I experienced something similar when my son was between 6 and 7. We made a prize bag for the amount of time he spent reading. It was a brown paper bag, very resourceful, he decorated it, and put things inside that he enjoyed doing. So for instance, 30 minutes of time allowed him to pull out a prize from the bag, and so on. The prizes included: ice cream, 30 minutes with his gameboy, a dollar, free pass for a chore, and so on.

 

He is now 9 and absolutely LOVES to read. Hope this helps:tongue_smilie:

[Marie in Oh]

I really think it takes more effort for some boys. My 2 reading dd's will devour books. It takes ds forever to read one book. But, he is getting better. He has to read a half hour for school and a 1/2 hour of free reading at bed time. An hour a day used to kill him, but he's fine with it now. It will get better.

[Peela]

I havent read the other responses but I just want to encourage you to hang in there. My son hated to read at age 8 as well. So I made him read a certain amount of time each day- 10 mins, 15 mins, 20 mins- something like that at that age, gradually increasing. And, I kept reading aloud to him lots. But, he complained and found reading hard. (I have since found out he was dyslexic, poor kid, but I didn't know that at the time and slogged away at phonics and easy to read books for him).

When he was 9.5, I started reading Sea of Trolls aloud to him...he took the book out of my hands when I finished a chapter and asked me if he could keep reading it. I said of course. He has never looked back from that moment. It's a big thick book, but when he finished it, he asked for another big thick book because it made him feel proud to read big thick books.

It was balm to a mother's heart, I tell you.

So, 8 is still young, even though it doesn't feel like it at the time. Don't push too hard, but just consistently have him read a little every day, and his skills will get better. Meanwhile, keep having him enter the worlds that books open to us by reading to him- whatever he is interested in. My son is a fantasy freak, loves dragons and knights and things like that....plenty of books with those themes around. He now reads well above his age level ,even with dyslexia, but at 8 nope, he wasn't interested. I had to make him, so that he got better at it, while trying not to turn him off reading for life!

[Di3kids]

We feel that we've struck gold with our new idea regarding TV and reading. Previously, my children were allowed 30 minutes per day of electronics (TV, computer, games), not including a family movie ight here and there. We purchased these nice timers at Wal-mart that actually have two timers in one. On Fridays, the children would receive 3-1/2 hours, and then they would just let the time go down with each use of an electronic device. It worked great.

 

Now, we decided that the children would need to read 3-1/2 hours per week in order to receive 3-1/2 hours of TV/computer time. My dh and I were a bit reluctant to approach the kids with the idea, since we had been giving them their electronic time for "free." However, our little angels (13 ds, 11 dd, and 7 dd) joyfully met the challenge without a complaint! They love that we are requiring them to read. They know that reading is a joy, and we just needed to implement a system that required this of them. So, on each timer, "timer one" is for reading and "timer two" is for electronic. They minutes go up and down and it is just what we needed! HTH

 

Diane

[amber in GA]

My dd went through something similar around that age and even though she was reading well in K, 1st, and 2nd grade, we found out that she was dyslexic in the 3rd grade. Make him read out loud to you often (books that are unfamiliar to him) to make sure that there are no problems there. Kids can memorize alot of words at that age and keep up the appearance of reading for several years.

 

ALSO: Throw that TV out!!! (and maybe i'll throw out mine too ;)

 

 

amber

[Christine]

OR sitting in front of a computer or video game (which is easier than reading).

 

Just an observation. . .

 

my boys don't "sit" whilst palying games. I mean, they are on their bottoms, but something about them is in constant motion.

 

Reading, though, is completely sedentary, and it's very difficult for them to do. . .

 

It's obvioulsy not the interest level, as I can read out-loud to them and they are perfectly fine, and enjoy the story. . .of course, they aren't sitting still, either.

 

It gets much easier as they get older.

 

Oh, sitting in a swing or a rocking chair while reading, I noticed, really cut down on the complaining. . .

[jail warden]

I have not read all the other responses. My ds did not like reading much last year, but I went with easier books, such as easy readers or picture books, and he was allowed to read at bedtime instead of going to sleep right away. I also require an hour of rest time in the afternoon during which they are to read. This has helped tremendously and in the last year his reading has taken off. He now loves to read, but will still choose TV or book on tape if given the chance. But, it's better than it was! Also, I severely limit TV here so he makes the choice to read more often because "There's nothing to do!"

[Closeacademy]

My oldest is the same age and reluctant to read as well. Until my mother got her a Webkinz magazine and then I decided to give up the fight and got her graphic novels from the library.

 

Now she spends time after lights out with a flashlight, at meals and other times sitting around and reading. She is really liking it.

 

Hang in there and find something that they like. For us it wasn't books with actual chapters, easy readers or non-fiction. It is comic books but it is a start.:001_smile:

[Sasharowan]

So,what I'm hearing is that it's not my fault...boys just have a genetic defect! :D I have thought about Captain Underpants and other such books. I've always been hesitant though. I've heard books like Goosebumps (which he would like) have poor sentence structure but this is probably why kids like to read them...they're easy. Maybe I'll have to compromise...one books he chooses, then one I choose. The scary thing is that I've got 2 more boys coming up behind him!

 

It's not always the boys. My ds12 will read all day if I let him. He has even occasionally (on rare occasions) chosen books over video games. My dd8 will only read assigned reading or Arthur picture books. She will clean house over reading or anything else that involves being active. I thought my ds7 was going to follow her, but in the last month he has been reading much better and is voluntarily reading several books a day. Beginning readers, but that is more than he would touch last month.