Jean in Newcastle Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I have taught my children since toddlerhood that if I'm on the phone that they are not to interrupt, barring fire, blood or other emergencies, of course. If I'm talking to someone on the phone, my brain and ears are engaged with what they are saying. If someone comes up to me and talks to me, I have to pull my attention away from the phone, hear what the person is saying in front of me and then try to still respond to the phone while also responding to the person in the room, whether it's by voice, gesture or writing. I can't do it. Ds14 just told me that I am an aberration for not being able to multi-task in this manner. Don't worry, I told him exactly what I thought of that and reiterated what I've always taught about manners and interrupting. But it did make me wonder. I do have some minor hearing problems and wondered if that made it harder for me to switch from one conversation to another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigger Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I can do it, but do not like to - it's rude to the person on the phone who has no context to go with to see you're being interrupted, and interrupting someone is rude --- so DS knows if he needs to talk to me while I'm on the phone, he comes over, places his hand on my arm or knee (if I'm seated) and I place my hand on his hand - this lets him know without my saying anything that I know he is waiting to talk to me....then he waits while I find an opportunity in the phone conversation to let the person know to hold on a sec - then and only then does DS have my attention to ask something (unless it's an emergency, than all bets are off for having to wait). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I can do it but not on the phone. I suppose I need more info (lips moving, body language) to follow along more than one conversation at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I can, but I try not to, especially when on the phone. Dh talks to someone at work after he has called me all the time, and from the other end, it's annoying, so I try not to do it to other people. If dh or my parents call, I'll often excuse myself at the beginning of a call to put the dc onto a task if I think I'll be a while, but if there's no blood, I expect them not to interrupt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I voted no but I think I should have voted other. I most definitely can't now, but I used to be able to before my head injury. These days it takes every effort to stay focused, and I easily communicate wrong information as my brain wants to say one thing, but typing or speaking comes out another. I recently told someone I didn't have kids.:001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I can, but I don't like to. I grew up working in restaurants, front and back of the house, and I'm still doing customer service work ... for me, it's just part of that territory (taking care of multiple people at once). It's a skilled I mastered long before kids, but it's been continually sharpened since having kids. I also grew up in a large family, so that whole waiting your turn to talk thing was a surefire way to get ignored :D As one of the older kids in our family, I had lots of practice learning to multi-task conversations! I can even multi-task conversations while typing. That took a bit longer to figure out LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 I voted no but I think I should have voted other. I most definitely can't now, but I used to be able to before my head injury. These days it takes every effort to stay focused, and I easily communicate wrong information as my brain wants to say one thing, but typing or speaking comes out another. I recently told someone I didn't have kids.:001_huh: I think that I used to be able to do it more, too. I'm not sure if it's fatigue or brain fog or brain fog caused by fatigue, but I have to concentrate in order to communicate even half way intelligently! In fact, just getting the right words out is a bit of a challenge at times as I've been known to tell the kids to "put on their cucumbers" instead of "shoes" which causes much laughter but isn't exactly the best way to communicate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I voted No. Really, I could if I wanted to, but it just makes me crazy. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I can do it but not on the phone. I suppose I need more info (lips moving, body language) to follow along more than one conversation at a time. :iagree: Ditto. I can do it with different conversations in the room or at a party or something, but not when I'm on the phone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I had a recent epiphany about my kids writing notes while I'm on the phone. I am one of those people who "hears" my voice reading in my head, so reading is exactly the same as listening to someone else speak. I am totally incapable of carrying on a conversation and reading anything at the same time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Definitely not on the phone. If one of the kids comes up and whispers something to me, I tune out to what the person on the phone is saying. It's obvious when I put my focus back on the phone that I've missed something. I don't think you're an aberration at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I think that I used to be able to do it more, too. I'm not sure if it's fatigue or brain fog or brain fog caused by fatigue, but I have to concentrate in order to communicate even half way intelligently! In fact, just getting the right words out is a bit of a challenge at times as I've been known to tell the kids to "put on their cucumbers" instead of "shoes" which causes much laughter but isn't exactly the best way to communicate. really? My word recall is AWFUL. If you are also dealing with this, I'm wondering if it's just a normal part of aging? I'm surprised you wrote the above, sorry you experience this, but wonder how normal it actually is. I definitely have fatigue and brain fog. I've noticed my brain fog is MUCH worse now that I'm drinking coffee again daily. :glare: I'll be going back to tea after the holidays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 btw, I was at a homeschool field trip recently. I was speaking to a very nice woman who is extremely serious and conservative. We were talking about how our feet bother us more these days (I was asking her about her Dansko clogs) and she said she had just read an article which said that women lose the fat on the bottoms of their feet as they age, and especially on the balls of their feet. We were in the midst of our homeschool crowd with kids all around us. How did I respond to her comment? "Yes! My balls really do hurt more!!!" To make matters worse, I had NO idea why everyone was laughing. :blushing: :leaving: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 No. I am not able to multi-task without getting crotchety. This was considered an asset in my career--being a multi-tasking harda**. I'm over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Yes, I can. I try not to, though, because it's rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I voted no, but should have said other. I don't allow my kids to interrupt when I'm talking to someone else and I especially don't appreciate it when I'm on the phone. For some reason, manners tend to fly out the window when a phone is involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Yes, but I prefer not to do it, and I won't do it on purpose if I can help it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I used to when I was younger. No longer. My hearing seems to have changed as well and I can't handle a bunch of background noise while having a conversation. It distracts me. Such as hubby talking during tv. Have to turn it off or down, wait for him to finish, then go back to show. Two conversations at once seems to short my ears out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I can do it, but do not like to - it's rude to the person on the phone who has no context to go with to see you're being interrupted, and interrupting someone is rude --- so DS knows if he needs to talk to me while I'm on the phone, he comes over, places his hand on my arm or knee (if I'm seated) and I place my hand on his hand - this lets him know without my saying anything that I know he is waiting to talk to me....then he waits while I find an opportunity in the phone conversation to let the person know to hold on a sec - then and only then does DS have my attention to ask something (unless it's an emergency, than all bets are off for having to wait). Similar things here. (except my kids aren't usually so polite about intrupetting me when on the phone. ... Mom I wasn't talking to you, I was asking a question.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 Two conversations at once seems to short my ears out. Yes! That describes it to a T! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria from IN Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 I've often thought I have some auditory processing issue, because I simply can't keep track of two conversations at once. If I'm talking on the phone and someone walks in and says something to me, I don't hear either one of my conversations--it's all a big jumble. Also, I used to work in a factory that had lots of machines that ran on compressed air and had computer beeps and assorted other noises, and I couldn't hear anybody there, either. Pieces of words come to me and my brain gets them all wrong, like it's trying to fill in the blanks, and the results can be hilarious. "Do we gotta go tell Karen?" became "Do we gotta hurt the parrot?" and "Quarter of eleven" became "Hold her up a lemon," etc. It's like my head is one giant Plinko board, and the syllables are those discs that bounce around the pegs on their way down...I will often sit and stare at a person blankly until all the syllables fall into place and I repeat what I think they said; I'm pretty sure "I picked macaroons from these pairs of jeans" is not central to the process of manufacturing airbag sensors. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3littles Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 This is one of the toughest parts of parenthood for me. I can't deal with more than one person talking to me at a time. I don't remember it being so pronounced as a young, childless adult, but once my 2nd and 3rd children rolled along...oy. Totally cannot multitask conversations any longer. Sometimes I can't have an intelligent conversation while doing *anything* else. I get very irritable when multiple children are speaking to me at the same time. If I'm on the phone and someone is talking, that's also annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Yes, every day I'm on the phone with one sticky situation while refereeing another sticky situation on hand. More important, for me, is the ability to switch from "bad cop" on, say, the phone, to "good cop" live. It isn't what I'm hearing and having to decide that is the problem, it is the "tone" I have to take. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 I can, but I prefer not to. Now that my kids are older it's a lot easier, but when they were little it was next to impossible. Strangely, these days my dh is the worst offender. He always wants me to tell them this, or ask them that, etc.--drives me nuts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaffodilDreams Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 I can't do it, either, Jean. I think that's one reason I hate chatting on the phone. Someone always interrupts me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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