Claire in NM Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I now understand how depressed a person can get when coming upon a birthday with a "zero" in it. Claire in NM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 You'd be more depressed if you didn't turn 50. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Deep breath, have a party, it's not so bad. :grouphug: Congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 (edited) Really, what is the alternative? :D You could be Cher and try to Turn Back Time. All teasing aside, I'm sorry you're fhaving a rough time. I hope you can make some peace with it and maybe do something fun for your b'day. The desire for immortality is the stuff of epic poems. Judging from the body of literature on seeking the fountain of youth etc, aging is not an uncommon concern. (to say the least lol) It's rough to realize you can't spend your whole life being 29. Edited October 31, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiberia Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I'm looking forward to it. I turn 50 on Dec. 28 of this year. I'll be the youngest of a new decade of people in their 50s. Plus, when I'm 60, I'll look back at 50 and think how young I was. So, I'm going to enjoy whatever age I'm at. For some reason, 27 was hard for me. I felt "old." Now that seems silly, but it's all perception and attitude. I hope you have an awesome 50 and beyond! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 It's not that bad. Even being past 50 isn't bad. Sometimes when I think about it, I'm shocked at how old I am. I certainly don't feel my age, though sometimes the aches and pains remind me (though they're not really age related). Try to remember 50 is the new 40. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Oh, fear not.It is even more fun here on the other side! :001_smile: (52 last June) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire in NM Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 I'm not feeling old. I'm feeling lost. I've never been a daughter, even though I grew up in a home with both parents. I've never been a sister, even though I have 2 sisters and 6 brothers. I am a wife (20 years) and a mom (3 babies). But the passion that drove me to do the things that I did when I was younger is gone. It took me hours and hours and hours before I came up with a user name. And all I could come up with is "Rootbeer Lover". Am I pathetic or what! Claire in NM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I'm not feeling old. I'm feeling lost. I've never been a daughter, even though I grew up in a home with both parents. I've never been a sister, even though I have 2 sisters and 6 brothers. I am a wife (20 years) and a mom (3 babies). But the passion that drove me to do the things that I did when I was younger is gone. It took me hours and hours and hours before I came up with a user name. And all I could come up with is "Rootbeer Lover". Am I pathetic or what! Claire in NM Aaawww, not pathetic. You have just chosen to subject YOUR desires to the needs of others for a season. That is noble praise-worthy, in my book. It's a long season (motherhood) but I bet when it's over, you'll start discovering new passions. I know a couple that just turned 50, and they make me excited to turn 50. Their kids are grown, they are beginning new interests together, and they are starting to act like newlyweds. It's obvious that a good chapter is just beginning. Why do you say you have never been a daughter or sister? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 [it took me hours and hours and hours before I came up with a user name. And all I could come up with is "Rootbeer Lover". Am I pathetic or what! :lol: If it makes you feel better I'm 37 and I use the same username on every forum I belong to for 2 reasons: 1. I can't come up with anything else 2. If I don't I forget who I am :001_huh: :tongue_smilie: Just remember - every day above ground is a good one ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 The 50's are the beginning of a new found freedom, wisdom and independence! This is coming from one who is the lat few months of that whole decade too. Seriously, it really is like a new beginning. The best part, for me, was discovering the 'who the heck cares' attitude about trivial things and starting to speak my mind, tactfully! You will enjoy it once you get into it!! Happy Birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Turning 40 gave me a little reason to pause and think but I didn't bat an eye at turning 50. One day I was 49, and the next day I was the exact person doing the exact same things, except that I was 50. No big deal. With the exception of my 16th bday, I never had one that impacted me a lot. I have friends with different experiences, though. One friend became totally depressed at 25 because she always had pictured herself married and settled down by that age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire in NM Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 I've never been a daughter and I've never been a sister because my childhood was spent in a family with major dysfunction...alcoholism & sexual abuse. I have never been a daughter because I was not protected by my parents. Even when I called attention to my situation, I was ignored. I have never been a sister because I was just trying to survive. How can someone grow up in a family with 8 siblings and not have a single relationship with any of them? I never heard any of my brothers or sisters say "I love you" until my father died which was just 3 years ago. What does this have to do with turning 50? I'm looking at my life and realizing my life is what it is. And I am still having to survive, even now. Maybe my statement should be "I am dreading today", instead of "I am dreading turning 50", because I haven't a clue where my journey is going to take me. Claire in NM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I've never been a daughter and I've never been a sister because my childhood was spent in a family with major dysfunction...alcoholism & sexual abuse. I have never been a daughter because I was not protected by my parents. Even when I called attention to my situation, I was ignored. I have never been a sister because I was just trying to survive. How can someone grow up in a family with 8 siblings and not have a single relationship with any of them? I never heard any of my brothers or sisters say "I love you" until my father died which was just 3 years ago. What does this have to do with turning 50? I'm looking at my life and realizing my life is what it is. And I am still having to survive, even now. Maybe my statement should be "I am dreading today", instead of "I am dreading turning 50", because I haven't a clue where my journey is going to take me. Claire in NM :grouphug: I'm sorry. I don't know what you think about prayer, but I'm praying for you today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire in NM Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 Claire in NM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 :grouphug: I'm sorry. I'll be 48 in February and I've just recently reflected on how much my past has made me the person I am today, and I've felt how little power I now have to change who I am. My past has certainly not been anywhere near as traumatic as yours. For myself I'm entering into a new stage of acceptance of who I am - I seem to have spent most of my life trying to be more, to be better. I'm hoping that by accepting myself I'll become 'good enough' for everyone, especially myself. I'm looking forward to peace and contentment. I wish all of that for you too. I pray that your wounds will heal. I pray that this new phase of your life will be joyful, exhilarating, in ways you'd never dreamed. :grouphug: Happy Birthday :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire in NM Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 Claire in NM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I will pray for you. I am not yet 50 but am really looking forward to being 55- discounts in stores:). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the evolving homemaker Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 but what is so great is that now YOU can go try new things, find things that you have passion about, take a random class, then take another, travel to a new place, even if it is a three hour drive away for lunch then return home, there are lots of ways I try to get myself out of that 'rut' feeling. at this point it seems like it is time for you to find some passions to spice up your life a bit. my kids are my life. so i get that, but that doesn't keep me from listening to my inner yearnings, trying new things, stepping out of my box once and a while to keep things interesting! i will be 40 in a year and a half, so i get it somewhat, but i have friends my age fighting for their lives right now thanks to cancer. i will be grateful if i hit 40 with my health in tact and my sense of adventure as strong as ever. if i make it to 50 with the same, i will be even more happy! make a gratitude list. sometimes we all forget what we have and need a reminder, i often do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :) jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the evolving homemaker Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I've never been a daughter and I've never been a sister because my childhood was spent in a family with major dysfunction...alcoholism & sexual abuse. I have never been a daughter because I was not protected by my parents. Even when I called attention to my situation, I was ignored. I have never been a sister because I was just trying to survive. How can someone grow up in a family with 8 siblings and not have a single relationship with any of them? I never heard any of my brothers or sisters say "I love you" until my father died which was just 3 years ago. What does this have to do with turning 50? I'm looking at my life and realizing my life is what it is. And I am still having to survive, even now. Maybe my statement should be "I am dreading today", instead of "I am dreading turning 50", because I haven't a clue where my journey is going to take me. Claire in NM Have you been in therapy at all? It can do wonders, really. I think a lot too is what we focus on, someone posted a great quote on Facebook the other day which I loved, "Don't look back, you aren't going that way." Maybe spend the day looking forward, not backward. And find a fantastic therapist. :) jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire in NM Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 So much stuff to work through and not a single person to share this with without hurting someone's feelings. Claire in NM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 You'd be more depressed if you didn't turn 50. :iagree: I can't WAIT to turn 50!!! I love my life more now than I did when I was younger. I've got 1.5 years to go. I'm excited! Don't let it get you down. CELEBRATE that you've made it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 So much stuff to work through and not a single person to share this with without hurting someone's feelings. Claire in NM I'm sorry. I didn't see this before I posted my response. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:it ALWAYS helps to have someone to talk to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire in NM Posted November 1, 2011 Author Share Posted November 1, 2011 I told my husband that I started this thread. He is very supportive. He was glad I was willing to tell someone about my dread of turning 50. So thank you all for your words of encouragement. I will read them over and think about what you all have said. Thanks much. Claire in NM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negin Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Claire, sending prayers your way and thinking of you :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:. I'm so sorry to read about all the pain and suffering you went through. Yes, therapy should be very helpful. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, in particular. Reading encouraging books. Living a healthy lifestyle. Doing the things that make you happy - all of these should help in some way. :grouphug: There are some fun/slightly more how should I say "shallow" books on turning 50 - tips on style and all that - but I don't think that's what you're asking about here. I'm delighted to hear that your husband is supportive. :) As far as turning 50 goes, age, like weight, is just a number - and remember that numbers are meaningless. Really and truly, they are. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.