I just sent my son to his room...for 24 hours

[gingersmom]

Uggh. Middle school is not fun.

 

We have a puppy who has her own weird sleep schedule so we all wake up exhausted or I let my son sleep in late so he can at least function when school begins.

 

I swear the child needs a strong cup of coffee to get going in the morning.

 

I send him off to read for 30 minutes so he can wake up. Then he takes a latin vocabulary quiz. He misses about 1/2 of the words. Of course its my fault he did not study enough and did not do well. Its my fault, its my fault, all my fault.

 

We attempt to do math but he is mad at me about latin, giving me major attitude, not paying attention and being a general pain in the behind.

 

It was like pulling teeth. So I told him no tv, no computer, no ice skating and go to your room till tomorrow when will attempt to do school again.

 

I had to go through this with his sister but I seriously thought he would be easier.

:banghead:

[Denisemomof4]

11 - 14 were TOUGH years for my younger son. Older son has always been easy and wonderful.

 

How about starting the day with a mug of coffee, tea, or hot chocolate, and take the puppy for a walk, and THEN start school? After breakfast of course. :001_smile:

 

eta: those years weren't tough for my son, they were tough for me and dh!

[Lang Syne Boardie]

A growing boy shouldn't be confined to his room for 24 hours. He'll do better at his schoolwork and getting along with others if he gets fresh air and exercise.

 

Some of my boys need a big breakfast and an hour or two outdoors before sitting down to lessons at this age. Could you give that strategy a try?

[JulieH]

A growing boy shouldn't be confined to his room for 24 hours. He'll do better at his schoolwork and getting along with others if he gets fresh air and exercise.

 

Some of my boys need a big breakfast and an hour or two outdoors before sitting down to lessons at this age. Could you give that strategy a try?

:iagree:

[gingersmom]

I'll let him out before 24 hours. Someone needs to walk the dog :tongue_smilie:

 

I usually wake him between 8 and 9. So taking an hour or 2 to exercise would just have us starting too late.

 

We need to do at least 5 hours to get through everything (plus homework).

 

He apparently is feeling repentant. I'm not sure how much of a forgiving mood I am in though. I may give back ice skating but tv/computer are still gone.

[seraphina]

I have two middle school sons so I know what you are going through. I agree that he needs some fresh air. Does he like to run or ride bikes? Perhaps that would be a better way for him to start his day. Boys need lots of physical activity to keep them going especially at that age.

[LittleIzumi]

A growing boy shouldn't be confined to his room for 24 hours. He'll do better at his schoolwork and getting along with others if he gets fresh air and exercise.

 

Some of my boys need a big breakfast and an hour or two outdoors before sitting down to lessons at this age. Could you give that strategy a try?

 

Heck with growing boys--we ALL need that at my house, lol. Normally we wake up around 8:30 but I took the plunge & we are getting up by 7 so we can eat & go for a walk or short bike ride before we start school.

[Tenaj]

I feel your pain. My 14yods is an expert at making sure that any failure on his part is blamed on me. To give you hope, he started this game when he was about 10 and he's finally past it - most of the time - now.

 

We've done the grounding to the room and also the outside methods and have had both work at different times. I try to determine which would best given the circumstances. If there is frustration from doing poorly on something and that is carrying over to other subjects, I do usually try to dream up some physical labor for him. If the frustration is turning into rudeness, shouting, sassing, etc. I do the "grounding" thing and yes, he has spent many hours at a time in his room because he doesn't know when to stop. My theory is that if he is being too rude to be around other people - then he gets isolated until he appreciates interation with others again.

 

One thing that has always helped this particular child is to role-play with him after the assigned discipline is over and help him see where his responses were inappropriate and guide him in a proper response the next time. I've actually seen him stop himself later and correct in the middle of conversation so that it doesn't go wrong.

[Laura Corin]

I have two middle school sons so I know what you are going through. I agree that he needs some fresh air. Does he like to run or ride bikes? Perhaps that would be a better way for him to start his day. Boys need lots of physical activity to keep them going especially at that age.

 

Calvin was always the least active of children. Since reaching the teens, he really needs exercise if he is to settle. Having your son do a half-hour run - he could run round the block and you could time him while you had a quiet cup of coffee - might well be worth the time if it got him ready for the day.

 

Laura

[Harriet Vane]

I'll let him out before 24 hours. Someone needs to walk the dog :tongue_smilie:

 

I usually wake him between 8 and 9. So taking an hour or 2 to exercise would just have us starting too late.

 

We need to do at least 5 hours to get through everything (plus homework).

 

He apparently is feeling repentant. I'm not sure how much of a forgiving mood I am in though. I may give back ice skating but tv/computer are still gone.

 

You might need to reconsider your schedule. Adolescent boys really do need an enormous amount of exercise or they are just a mess. Life will be sweeter if you find a way to make this happen.

[Halcyon]

Of course its my fault he did not study enough and did not do well. Its my fault, its my fault, all my fault.

 

 

:grouphug: It's not your fault. My 4th grader takes a weekly exam and HE is responsible for reviewing. If he doesn't review, he doesn't do well. Last week, he failed to review and got 72%. This week, he remembered ;) :grouphug:

[Remudamom]

What are you thinking? A 50 gallon barrel with a airhole works much better. Attach lid firmly.

[Julie in CA]

I usually wake him between 8 and 9. So taking an hour or 2 to exercise would just have us starting too late.

I'm sorry, but I have to respectfully disagree. If what you're doing isn't working, I wouldn't expect it to suddenly be just the thing. Perhaps try something new, like:

 

Early bedtime

Waking up at about 6:30

Jogging with/without dog for about 30 minutes, then shower & dress, breakfast

Ready for school by 8

Done by lunchtime, because with the earlier start & physical exertion, he should be ready to sit & focus more easily

 

Getting out of bed and then having my reading time would not motivate me, it would have me snoozing & unfocused about 1/2 page in. ;)

[Jean in Newcastle]

What are you thinking? A 50 gallon barrel with a airhole works much better. Attach lid firmly.

 

:D Spoken like a mom with 3 boys :D

[Parrothead]

What are you thinking? A 50 gallon barrel with a airhole works much better. Attach lid firmly.

:iagree: Too many potential fun things to do in his room.

 

Alternately it might be a good day to scrub the driveway.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[livingnlearning]

I read somewhere that teens need as much sleep as toddlers do.

 

some days my son needs more sleep than other days and on the days he doesn't have enough sleep he's terrible. Mostly we try to let him get his sleep when he needs it and give him time to wake up, move around and get outside to do chores before I expect the brain to kick in.

[Abigail4476]

I'm sorry, but I have to respectfully disagree. If what you're doing isn't working, I wouldn't expect it to suddenly be just the thing. Perhaps try something new, like:

 

Early bedtime

Waking up at about 6:30

Jogging with/without dog for about 30 minutes, then shower & dress, breakfast

Ready for school by 8

Done by lunchtime, because with the earlier start & physical exertion, he should be ready to sit & focus more easily

 

Getting out of bed and then having my reading time would not motivate me, it would have me snoozing & unfocused about 1/2 page in. ;)

 

:iagree:

 

Personally, I feel more sluggish if I sleep in to 8 or 9. Getting up early, having a shower, eating an early breakfast (usually one that doesn't contain sugar), talking to the kids, walking around outside, etc. gets my energy up and I'm ready to face the day.

 

Teenagers do need a lot of sleep, but mine still do better if they get up earlier in the morning. If they sleep in, they tend to have less energy the whole day.

 

If you always do what you've always done....

 

 

I don't get this. Reading makes me sleepy anyway, I can't imagine trying to read to wake up.

 

LOL!!! I know--I have NEVER read a book to "wake up." I've read quite a few at night so I would get sleepy. :tongue_smilie:

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

A growing boy shouldn't be confined to his room for 24 hours. He'll do better at his schoolwork and getting along with others if he gets fresh air and exercise.

 

Some of my boys need a big breakfast and an hour or two outdoors before sitting down to lessons at this age. Could you give that strategy a try?

Why not? If he cannot be sociable and behave then he should not be in the public. He is old enough to know his behavior was wrong. Solitary is just what he needs.

I think this is a great punishment for a child that age. I might shorten the sentence if he comes out and apologizes and means it. Of course this needs to be on his own and needs to be sincere.

She will not stunt a growing boys life if this is enforced.

 

I do think his morning routine needs some tweaking, as another poster said...cup of coffee (or other drink), good breakfast and a short walk with the puppy. But as for the punishment...it stands in my book.

[elegantlion]

My ds sleeps in. He normally gets up around 8:30 and we start school at 10. We are so not morning people, early rising would defeat the benefits of homeschooling. :D

 

I would consider how much the puppy is throwing off the schedule. Not getting a full nights rest can make the most reasonable person grumpy. Add some puberty and attitude on top of that and I can see the struggle. We had a spell of about six months were no one in the household slept well. We started to kid that we should do school at 3am when we were all up. Because we were all affected I cut some slack on school time. Going back to sleep after getting woken up doesn't really contribute to the "full nights rest".

 

I agree with the exercise, and I would agree that he needs to consider his words, but I would empathize with the lack of real rest and try to find some solutions.

 

My ds does not wake up easily. After a study of our habits we discovered he needs about two hours to wake up before he is at full capacity. That's his reality. Does he always get two hours? No. Will he have to operate in that fashion all of his life? Probably not. But I believe in trying to work with the natural patterns of a person's sleep/wake cycle, not artificially set limits because of the accepted norm.

[HeidiKC]

Ugh - I can relate! How about instead of 24 hours in his room - some hard work outside? I can never come up with much around here he can do, but my husband had a brilliant idea the other day. He's kind of kidding, but I'm kind of not! He says we should buy a huge pile of gravel, and have ds transfer it from one spot of the yard/driveway to another on a regular basis! Ha!

 

Anyway, one thing I do that has helped is to wake him (listening to Latin CD chants for 15-20 minutes) and then let him watch Channel One News in bed (15 minutes or so). That way he can lounge, but the stories are interesting enough that he wakes up. Then he eats. Maybe after that you could have him do some reading, then take a shower break (or before the reading?). Then a 15 minute run around outside or with the dog or whatever? I don't think he needs an hour or anything.

 

I feel your pain. Good luck! Oh - and I will say that my parents did tons of grounding me (talking back, not laziness or whatever). To my room, etc. It wasn't effective and made me feel constantly angry at them, felt unjustified (the amount of time they'd punish me), etc. So I'm not a big fan of that. Extra physical work (preferably outside) seems better to me.