What age do you discuss addictions w/your dc?

[Jen500]

Dh and I have had ongoing discussions w/ds11 about alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, etc. But we recently got this issue of Odyssey magazine http://www.odysseymagazine.com/ and the whole issue is about addiction--cigarettes, gaming, alcohol, meth, heroin, etc. and some of the science behind addiction. The magazine is marketed toward 9-14 yr olds and at first I was upset that they would choose this topic for an entire magazine..including photos of drugs and teens drinking/smoking..I felt that parents should be dealing w/this instead of a science mag we subscribed to.

Then I thought that maybe since we're hs'ing I'm out of touch with what younger kids are getting in to these days.

Maybe I should be be having more detailed talks w/ds.

 

So, what age do you have in-depth talks about this stuff? :bigear:

[NanceXToo]

I think it's good you've had ongoing discussions with him up until now. And since you have, and since you now have a good vehicle for more in-depth discussion with this magazine now, I would read it with my 11 year old, answer any questions, talk about it, etc.

 

At 11, I think they are more open to this kind of thing- to going over it with mom, to understanding how dangerous it can be and so on, and better they have that firmly in their head before they get to the teen years where the peer pressure to actually DO those things might kick in, and they might be more likely to roll their eyes than have an earnest conversation with mom about it.

[elegantlion]

We have addiction issues on both sides of our family, so we had discussions before age 11. The discussions were more scientific, how the brain processes chemicals mostly. We didn't pull out specifics of hard drugs, mostly alcohol and cigarettes. About age 11 we started giving him tips on how to say no; I'm under no delusions about my son being offered something at some point in his teen years. We began to discuss the current controversy on pot and prescription drug abuse.

 

Next year, in biology, we will probably go over the specific of hard drugs (although he's familiar with some just from TV), more genetic discussions, and do a unit on the study of addiction.

 

In our case we specifically started conversations at a younger age, due to family history. In our area we see a lot of pot use and prescription drug abuse. I feel it keeps the conversation door open, since we started earlier.

[tmulcahy]

My children have know about addictions since they were 6 or so. There are cases of addiction in our extended family and I have a dear friend who was married to a drug addict. I have never really protected my children from truths like that. I know some parents do and I am not being critical. We all parent differently. I just wanted to be the first to tell my children that there are drugs and they are addictive. Of course the talk with my then 6 year old was short and uncomplicated. As they grow older we talk more.

 

I think it is great that Adventures in Odyssey puts it out there without glorifying it. Mainstream media sure does glorify it. We are the body! There are addicts in the church. Awareness at a young age is important to me.

[regentrude]

Beginning in kindergarten/elementary school.

DH and I drink wine - so the topic of alcohol, responsible drinking, addiction, drunk driving etc came up very early. My kids see people smoke - we discussed smoking. My kids see signs against drugs - we discuss drugs.

We have OTC medications and prescriptions in the house - we discuss medical drugs, only using medication a parent gives you, not accepting any from other people unless verified by parent, etc.

 

Seeing that drug use, smoking and drinking is a problem in middle school already, I do not think age 9 is too early to begin the education.

 

ETA: You, as the parent, choose to get the science magazine. You can use it as a resource for addiction education, or you can choose not to expose your student. I actually find it GOOD that there are photos of drugs, because, honestly, I would NOT recognize anything, never having seen an illegal drug in my life.

Edited August 30, 2011 by regentrude

[GoVanGogh]

We had a teenager die of a drug overdose just feet from our house last year. DS, 8 at the time, saw the body. We certainly hadn't planned on talking with him about addictions at that age, but didn't have a choice at that point.

[Mom0012]

I've already discussed it with them many times when it came up naturally either in something we were reading, or came across in real life. My kids are 11 and 9, but I know we probably discussed it the first time concerning cigarettes many years ago.

 

Lisa

[merry gardens]

Dh and I have had ongoing discussions w/ds11 about alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, etc. But we recently got this issue of Odyssey magazine www.odysseymagazine.com/ and the whole issue is about addiction--cigarettes, gaming, alcohol, meth, heroin, etc. and some of the science behind addiction. The magazine is marketed toward 9-14 yr olds and at first I was upset that they would choose this topic for an entire magazine..including photos of drugs and teens drinking/smoking..I felt that parents should be dealing w/this instead of a science mag we subscribed to.

Then I thought that maybe since we're hs'ing I'm out of touch with what younger kids are getting in to these days.

Maybe I should be be having more detailed talks w/ds.

 

So, what age do you have in-depth talks about this stuff? :bigear:

We've discussed it earlier than 9, however I understand you being upset about a magazine presenting this topic (complete with pictures of the behaviors!) to their young subscribers instead of the parents. Those "in depth" discussions watch for children's reactions, but a magazine can't do that.

 

Porn is very addictive but it's certainly not something I want magazines to address with 9 yo children!!! Yet... if they leaving porn addiction out of a magazine that's entirely devoted to the topic of addiction, then they left an addiction off that affects a lot of teenage boys, who often start that addicting behavior before 14.

 

Yes, I agree that parents should be handling the topic of addiction with their children and not a children's magazine.

[Caterpiller]

I think that between 9 and 11 is a good time to start a real discussion about these things if you haven't already. Younger is probably better. If your kids are going to friends houses or staying at activities with out you, you should have these conversations. Sex, Drugs, Alcohol, Peer Pressure.

 

I was introduced to teen sex when I was 9 when I stayed the night at a friends house. Her 15 year old sister was having sex with her boy friend in the adjoining room from where we slept. My one friend was obsessed with boys and sex from then on and still has lousy relationships with men. I was first asked to drink alcohol when I was 10 years old. If I hadn't known what it was, I would have probably just drank it. As it was, I said no and called my mom to come get me. I knew kids who tried drugs as early as 9. My brother started doing drugs and smoking just after his 11th birthday. My husband started smoking around age 13 which isn't far off from 11. When I was 14 a friend of mine was drunk during our school presentation. I also stayed the night at a friends house whose 16 year old brother and his friend were smoking pot. By age 15 I knew several kids addicted to cigerettes. By age 15 people were bragging about who they'd slept with. When I was 16 I turned in a 14 year old kid so who was far gone with drug addiction that he was smoking meth from a pipe in class... in front of everyone. The only difference was no one else was going to tell. I knew 4 pregnant girls through out highschool, the first one was my sophmore year, she was a sophmore too. She lost the baby toward the end of her second trimester. I later realized the poor girl was a teenage sex addict having sex with men over the age of 20. 3 others gave birth. One when she was a senior, one as a junior, and the last one gave birth as a sophmore, and then graduated 6 months pregnant. 2 out of those 4 were EXTREMLY good girls, including the one with two pregnancies.

 

Talk to your preteen kids if you haven't already.

 

Edit to add: I remember another time, when I was 12 a girl had a bag of weed in school. I told her I was going to tell the teacher and I did. As adults, she thanked me because she never had the chance to try drugs because I did that. She is a super sweet and nice girl too.

Edited August 30, 2011 by Caterpiller

[Alyeska]

We have talked about drugs (prescription and nonprescription) and alcohol with our kids since they were toddlers.

 

Some drugs or drinks look harmless, or like candy, which is VERY important for little kids to know. So that is why we started at so young an age.

[jujsky]

I think I started discussing it with DS at 4 or 5. He has mild fetal alcohol effect, so it is extremely important he never, ever has any drugs or alcohol. FAS/FAE kids are much more likely to become addicts, and where they already tend to have poor impulse-control and not make the best judgments, I felt it important to start early on those conversation. DH drinks socially (not uncommon for him to have a beer with dinner a couple times/week) so I've had to explain why it's okay for some people to drink, and why other people don't. My dad was an alcoholic, so my brother and I have chosen not to drink. I've explained that to my son and daughter as well. DD knows that she will have to be careful -- that alcohol may be very addictive for her like it is on my side of the family, or it may not like on DH's side. We haven't made it taboo or told either child they could never drink, but we have talked about choices, consequences, and potential outcomes.

[Jen500]

Thank you all for your input. I think I will read through the magazine together with my dc.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Due to family history, we've always talked to our children, at least since elementary age. It wasn't really a decision we made or avoided, just natural. This will be even more important with our littles who have Fetal Alcohol and a significant direct family history.

 

If you have an open dialogue anyway, why not a magazine unless you just disagree with their science...

 

ETA: This has bugged me so I want to add this before I read on....We did it naturally because we had more ample opportunity. I think I'd have an inclination to wait til more like late elementary, but I wouldn't say that was "right."

Edited August 30, 2011 by 2J5M9K

[mama2cntrykids]

My boys are 8 and 10 yrs old and I've briefly touched on the subject. I'm thinking I will have to go deeper with it soon though, esp. with my 10 yr old, who will be 11 in Dec. and is pretty mature for his age. My 8 yr old is an Aspie and these things can be tricky to explain to him. Though I know it needs to be done:).

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

Thank you all for your input. I think I will read through the magazine together with my dc.

 

How is this magazine? It sounds interesting? Does it cover a lot of science?

 

I did already broach the topic of addiction many times with ds and hope to get more specific in the next year or so.

[Jen500]

Due to family history, we've always talked to our children, at least since elementary age. It wasn't really a decision we made or avoided, just natural. This will be even more important with our littles who have Fetal Alcohol and a significant direct family history.

 

If you have an open dialogue anyway, why not a magazine unless you just disagree with their science...

 

Pamela, I think my initial reaction was that I didn't expect a science mag to go into such depth on this topic. I don't usually read every issue of their magazines (we also get Faces and Muse). I wanted to be the one to talk about it with them, as I have been doing, and just felt this issue of the mag. went further in depth than I felt was necessary at this time. But then I started to think that I wasn't being realistic as far as what they might encounter when they are off with friends, etc.

[linders]

which was about the time we began allowing some (limited) video game time. Eldest DS would get so upset when his time was up, and it led to discussions about how people's brains and bodies can get addicted to any number of things, including video games. We had him stop and think about how he was acting, how his heart was racing, how his face had reddened. It allowed a discussion of one grandpa (deceased) who died of lung disease caused by smoking, yet kept smoking until the end. Just a couple of days ago we were talking about addiction to drugs and alcohol with both DS11 and DS8.

 

I rather think that talking about these things early, before they are being enticed, might help them keep their heads when someone offers them something.

[UnsinkableKristen]

We have talked about it pretty early because of family issues. However, up to this point we've kept it pretty simple and non-detailed. As they get older, we talk more openly and go into further detail.

 

This is reminding me, though, that I don't want to wait too long before we start having those detailed conversations. Sigh. I wish they could just stay sheltered a little bit longer.

[Pretty in Pink]

There are some serious addiction issues in my family, with people that I am close to. I'd guess we probably first brought it up with our eldest around age 8 or so.

[shinyhappypeople]

So, what age do you have in-depth talks about this stuff? :bigear:

 

DD is 7 and in the last year we've started talking with her about drugs, especially meth. Her birthmom is a meth addict (in recovery just over a year now :D ) So, the info we've given DD so far is that using drugs like meth is dangerous and makes you do stupid and selfish things and hurt other people. You cannot ever safely parent a child if you're using drugs, period. That's why DD's birthmom wasn't able to parent DD.

 

We've also been talking a bit about recovery, relapse and that type of thing recently, since we discovered birthmom has been clean for a year.

 

I imagine we'll go into much more detail when she's a bit older (10-12yo maybe?). But for now I think she has the information she needs.

[Food4Thought]

Beginning in kindergarten/elementary school.

DH and I drink wine - so the topic of alcohol, responsible drinking, addiction, drunk driving etc came up very early. My kids see people smoke - we discussed smoking. My kids see signs against drugs - we discuss drugs.

We have OTC medications and prescriptions in the house - we discuss medical drugs, only using medication a parent gives you, not accepting any from other people unless verified by parent, etc.

 

Seeing that drug use, smoking and drinking is a problem in middle school already, I do not think age 9 is too early to begin the education.

 

:iagree: We have already had opportunities for many conversations about alcohol, drugs, and addictions of many sorts with our kids, and they are 5 and 7. I think the earlier we talk about things that might be difficult, the more open we can be in the future.

[Sputterduck]

I talked to my son about that from before he could talk. I am an overly proactive parent, though. :001_huh::tongue_smilie:

 

Also, we recently had a missionary who went back to rehab. So it's a part of my son's world already. He needed to know where T went. Well, son, T was addicted to drugs and made a mistake that he couldn't pull out of. At 7 my son is not too young to understand that. We all miss T. :crying:

[Colleen]

Dh and I have had ongoing discussions w/ds11 about alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, etc....So, what age do you have in-depth talks about this stuff? :bigear:

In-depth talks? Never. As with most things in life, I find that subjects arise naturally over the course of time. When an opportune moment arises, I make a comment, observation, whatever. Don't see the need to turn it into a full-blown discusssion, though I'm always open to questions and comments on their part.

[jenangelcat]

My daughter had this discussion with her dad (a smoker) recently. After he explained it, she suggested he find something that he loves like ice cream and become addicted to that instead.

 

Whenever she catches him smoking she gives him the evil eye with her hands on her hips.