My 4yo hears a voice in his head...

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Twice this week, my 4.5 yo has heard a voice in his head telling him to do something. The first incident, he was in his room playing by himself during quiet time (little sister's nap time). I heard him say rather loudly, "NO! I won't!" I went in to ask him to lower his voice, and also to ask what he was talking about. He said a voice in his head had told him to throw his McQueen car in the garbage. I didn't make any comment on this,a nd just asked him to keep it down during nap time.

 

The second time was at dinner later in the week, when he touched the side of his head and said "There is something bad in my head." I asked did he mean his head hurt, did he have a headache? ANd he said "No, there is something bad in my head telling me to throw *other toy* (can't remember what) in the garbage." I todl him that everyone had good and bad ideas in their head, and the important thing was to only do the good ones, then changed the subject.

 

At this point, I assume this is just imagination and normal, but I'm just wondering, have other people already had their four year olds say these things? I'd hate to call the exorcist for nothing... :-P

 

In every other way, he has never, ever given me any cause for concern and is a bright, obedient, and loving kid.

[Paige]

My son has said the exact same things. I think it was just his way of verbalizing the normal thoughts people have in their heads but I'll admit it freaked me out a little. Now that my DS is older (almost 10) he doesn't talk like that anymore.

 

My neighbor's kid used to hear voices too but he claimed the voices he heard were outside of his head. That creeped me out way more! I would see him get really upset and want to know who was talking to him and where they were when nobody else was around or nobody else was talking. If my DS was doing that, I'd be taking him to the Dr and looking for a young priest and an old priest, but with what you describe, I think it may be a normal way for kids to describe their thoughts/impulses before they really understand what is going on.

[abbeyej]

Mostly I wouldn't worry. But... Has he been sick at all lately? Any fevers or viruses, etc?

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Nope, perfect health.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Thank you Paige, that is reassuring!

[5LittleMonkeys]

Dd8 used to tell me she had colored friends that would show up on the walls and tell her to do certain things. There was pink, blue, red, yellow and purple. She said the other colors were nice but that the black one had red eyes and was mean. She said they would follow her around the house and that the yellow one would come in the car when we went places. She would tell me that the black one was always telling her to rip things, throw things in the trash, flush things down the toilet, once she said he told her to cut her hair.

 

I just accepted it as imagination and would even joke with her about them. She would tell me she was bored and say to go play with her colored friends but to stay away from the one with the red eyes. She eventually started telling me that this color had gone away and then about 6 months later she would tell me that another color went away. When she was about 7 she told me that the last one told her that she had to go away because she was old enough now to watch out for herself. It was the yellow one.

 

I've asked her since then about them and she said that they don't come around anymore. She says they were angels. I asked her what about the purple one and she said he was an angel too but that he was just confused.:tongue_smilie:

[Ottakee]

If he has no other concerning behaviors or health issues, I wouldn't worry about it. It might just be him verbalizing his inner thoughts and thinking it is a voice telling him something.

 

Now, one of my kids was psychotic at 5 but we had MANY MANY other issues along with it so there was no question that is required professional help (which she was already getting but we made an urgent call then too).

[Jennifer3141]

I asked her what about the purple one and she said he was an angel too but that he was just confused.:tongue_smilie:

 

Well, purple is confusing. It's not red. It's not blue.

 

And that is the cutest thing I have heard today! :001_smile:

 

And Monica, I had DS approach me once very scared and tell me he had a "naughty voice" in his head. I told him we all do and that we don't have to do what that voice wants us to do and he relaxed quite a bit. I asked DS if he ever heard a "good" voice and he said he did but that that one was boring. :D

[Scarlett]

Dd8 used to tell me she had colored friends that would show up on the walls and tell her to do certain things. There was pink, blue, red, yellow and purple. She said the other colors were nice but that the black one had red eyes and was mean. She said they would follow her around the house and that the yellow one would come in the car when we went places. She would tell me that the black one was always telling her to rip things, throw things in the trash, flush things down the toilet, once she said he told her to cut her hair.

 

I just accepted it as imagination and would even joke with her about them. She would tell me she was bored and say to go play with her colored friends but to stay away from the one with the red eyes. She eventually started telling me that this color had gone away and then about 6 months later she would tell me that another color went away. When she was about 7 she told me that the last one told her that she had to go away because she was old enough now to watch out for herself. It was the yellow one.

 

I've asked her since then about them and she said that they don't come around anymore. She says they were angels. I asked her what about the purple one and she said he was an angel too but that he was just confused.:tongue_smilie:

 

My ds made 'friends' of small paper plates when he was about 3,4 and 5. He made faces on them and played with them. Then he got an imaginary sister named Alana ( I think) and she followed. us. everywhere. For several years. Eventually she went away too. Kind of makes me sad, but hey if he still had imaginary friends at age 11 1/2 people would probably thinked he was touched in the head. Maybe. Who knows.

 

I think it is normally just a sign of creativity.

[redsquirrel]

I remember being confused when I developed a verbal inner monologue. I didn't know other people 'heard' talking in their head. I think small children spend a great deal of time in a non-verbal (or pre-verbal) inner state and then grow out of it. As they become older, they forget that pre-verbal state and move into a verbal one.

[athena1277]

My ds (4yo) has recently entered the imaginary friend stage. I wonder if the voices are a way of expressing the same type of young imagination?:confused:

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Thank you for all the responses! I feel much better!

[ereks mom]

It sounds like normal imaginary friend stuff to me. When ER was little--maybe around 2 or 3--he claimed he had 12 sons who went everywhere we went. The only one who had a name was the oldest, "David". ER said that all 12 rode on top of the car or under the car, but they didn't ride inside. I don't really remember his mentioning his "sons" anytime except for when we were in the car. Dh & I played along, and the phase only lasted a little while, and ER didn't mention them any more.

 

EK also had imaginary friends when she was about 2 or 3 years old: Apple Joe (the ringleader), Keebidee, and Monk-Monk. They were always with her, and she talked to them every day. EK described them as little people, kind of like a cross between a leprechaun and a gremlin. If something got broken or lost, we would blame EK's little friends. Sometimes, she said, they (especially Apple Joe) told her to do things she wasn't supposed to do. Over time, she talked less and less of Keebidee and Monk-Monk, but Apple Joe was still there. One day when she was probably 4 years old, EK went into the bathroom, stayed a few minutes--I heard her talking (she talked to herself all the time), and then I heard the toilet flush. EK soon emerged, announcing that she had flushed Apple Joe down the toilet. She said she had told him it was time for him to go and flushed him away. She never brought him up again. I asked her some time later about Apple Joe, and she said he was gone.

[Joker]

When younger dd was 4 she insisted for about 6 months that she had conversations with her tummy. Some of them were very interesting. :tongue_smilie:

[Scarlett]

This thread has me thinking about that movie 'Drop Dead Fred'.

[Sugarfoot]

Both of my boys have had imaginary friends. I still really miss DS 15's imaginary friend, Guy. I made him birthday cakes and get-well cards when he was in the hospital with high blood pressure. ( my grandma's health concern at the time.;))

 

Now DS 3.5 is talking about Sir. I couldn't find the wasp spray the other night, and he said, "Mommy, Sir will spray them for you." I said, "He will? Is he here?" He said, "Yeah, that's his truck parked right there." :001_huh: I was so happy!

 

Your post sounds like imaginative descriptions of thoughts to me. Maybe you'll get lucky and an invisible family member will move in for awhile!:lol:

[Audrey]

I'll be a bit of a dissenter here. This is probably just imaginative play, but I think you should engage him occasionally on it to see if the voices continue. Also, ask if the voices ever say other things besides to throw away the toy. If he is having regular 'conversations' with the voice and it is primarily benign stuff, with the toy tossing being a rare incident, then he's probably got an imaginary friend. If it lasts for a long time (like a couple of years) and/or if the voices ever start becoming violent in any way towards any living things including himself, or if they encourage him to be destructive of things, then you should begin discussing it with your pediatrician and request a referral for a psychiatrist that specializes in children. This would be 'just in case' and not meant to alarm. Long periods of things like this can indicate issues that, if addressed early, can be very manageable.

Edited August 1, 2011 by Audrey

[Dolphin]

I had an imaginary friend at that age. She was always wanting to do everything that I was not allowed to do. She would also "tell" me to do those things.

 

But then, the jury is still out on whether or not I am normal.:lol:

[Pamela H in Texas]

I think some people are just more bothered by ideas and thoughts that pop into their head than other people are. I have some of the worst thoughts and they used to scare me severely. But a fleeting thought that seems not to make much sense or be troublesome is pretty normal. It's more our response to it that can be problematic. I really wish I had understood that other people think through things similarly; they just weren't as sensitive to it (one thing that probably makes mine worse is that I do think full sensory so when something comes into my head, I can often see, hear, smell, taste, feel it).

 

Anyway, so that is my story. Not imagination, but not psychosis either.

[Lady Florida.]

Ds used to hear voices when he was little. I do think it's probably a way they deal with thoughts, but as Audrey stated it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on it. Try to do it without worrying him though.

 

When ds was about 3, we had his little Fisher Price picnic table indoors in the family room. I found him on top of it dancing one day, and in a teasing voice asked, "Who told you you could dance on the table?" He pointed to the ceiling and answered, "They did.". Totally. Freaked. Me. Out. I think it was imaginary friends, but I did have an OMG! NO! moment.

[Joanne]

I'll be a bit of a dissenter here. This is probably just imaginative play, but I think you should engage him occasionally on it to see if the voices continue. Also, ask if the voices ever say other things besides to throw away the toy. If he is having regular 'conversations' with the voice and it is primarily benign stuff, with the toy tossing being a rare incident, then he's probably got an imaginary friend. If it lasts for a long time (like a couple of years) and/or if the voices ever start becoming violent in any way towards any living things including himself, or if they encourage him to be destructive of things, then you should begin discussing it with your pediatrician and request a referral for a psychiatrist that specializes in children. This would be 'just in case' and not meant to alarm. Long periods of things like this can indicate issues that, if addressed early, can be very manageable.

 

:iagree::grouphug:

 

This sounds very in normal range. His thoughts are probably normal fleeting synapses that he's expressing bewilderment over because he is aware that they are not what he'd really like to do.

 

However, I'd have the possibility of something more on my radar and watch (lightly) for signs of other issues.

[Audrey]

:iagree::grouphug:

 

This sounds very in normal range. His thoughts are probably normal fleeting synapses that he's expressing bewilderment over because he is aware that they are not what he'd really like to do.

 

However, I'd have the possibility of something more on my radar and watch (lightly) for signs of other issues.

 

 

Whew! I'm glad you agree. I was just coming back because I thought maybe I was being too sensitive and out of line to suggest that. I have several family members with clinical mental illness and I am very much an advocate of compassionate care for it. It isn't anything to fear. You wouldn't fear someone with diabetes. It isn't contagious. However, just like diabetes, it needs early intervention and continued, compassionate, consistent care.

 

At any rate, thanks Joanne. :001_smile:

[mcconnellboys]

He's at an age where a lot of kids begin to have imaginary friends. I'm wondering if it might be the beginnings of that....