delaney Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I can't even begin to go into details of what my week was like, but I am left feeling like I was hit by a truck. 6 year friendship ended, betrayal, anger, and my 7 yr old daughter was the target of an "adult's" anger which is NOT acceptable ever. I need to heal. She needs to heal. I am looking for suggestions of how to deal/cope with this without a religious take. I am also looking for herbal/natural methods to improve my body's ability to deal with stress. Thanks ladies for listening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Yogi tea makes an excellent tea - Kava Stress Relief. Chamomile, lemon balm, passion flower are all good; the passion flower helps with mind racing, if you're experiencing that. For your 7yo, I would recommend chamomile and lemon balm, which are both quite soothing. If she isn't inclined to drink tea, Herbs for Kids makes drops that can be taken straight or mixed into a drink - Chamomile Calm or Valerian Super Calm if she's having trouble sleeping. Tai Chi, gentle yoga, just taking a walk - any exercise, really - will help dissipate the pent up energy. There are some really good guided meditations through Meditation Oasis that are free on iTunes. I'm so sorry you're having such an awful time, and I hope it's just an ugly memory very soon. :grouphug: to both of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 Yogi tea makes an excellent tea - Kava Stress Relief. Chamomile, lemon balm, passion flower are all good; the passion flower helps with mind racing, if you're experiencing that. For your 7yo, I would recommend chamomile and lemon balm, which are both quite soothing. If she isn't inclined to drink tea, Herbs for Kids makes drops that can be taken straight or mixed into a drink - Chamomile Calm or Valerian Super Calm if she's having trouble sleeping. Tai Chi, gentle yoga, just taking a walk - any exercise, really - will help dissipate the pent up energy. There are some really good guided meditations through Meditation Oasis that are free on iTunes. I'm so sorry you're having such an awful time, and I hope it's just an ugly memory very soon. :grouphug: to both of you. She actually loves tea! Will look into that for her. Would and iced tea version work as well? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 (edited) I see a psychologist who uses various Mindfulness practices. It is absolutely amazing and I'm able to process some pretty cruddy stuff as well as deal with general, daily, and specific stressors. I also use biaural tones, relaxation melodies, etc on my phone as well as some specific breathing. Most ideas can be tweaked so they aren't religious (or for other people, not against their faith-based conscience). So you might not write off some of those ideas completely. For example, Mindfulness is often associated with Buddhism; but though my conscience is pretty strict, I am able to stay where I need to conscience wise for my own faith. Edited July 2, 2011 by 2J5M9K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 (edited) :grouphug: It sounds like an horrendous week. Whenever I feel stressed I find that yoga and meditation helps. I also think generally looking after yourself is important. Maybe also treat your daughter and yourself to something special or indulgent, or start making plans for a special treat sometime in the near future. On the other hand, sometimes tackling some difficult or boring chore and throwing all my energy, anger and stress into it can work wonders too. Distract yourself somehow, and know that in no time at all it will all be a distant memory. Best wishes Cassy Edited July 2, 2011 by Cassy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I would suggest getting some exercise...bike riding, roller skating, hiking, do physical things everyday, then also do some things that you enjoy doing together...movies, aquarium, beach whatever you enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 A multivitamin with plenty of Bs in it for you. Other than that...as others have said, exercise, chores, walking. And maybe a comedy family movie with your dd7 ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karis Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 This is applies in all situations/ relationships. Apologizing for the ugliness/ hurtful stuff Acknowledging that no one is perfect - we all have our moments we'd rather forget. Asking for forgiveness. Forgiving yourself. Bubble baths by candlelight - an inexpensive luxury valerian capsules (For You) - not enough to make you sleepy - just to calm your nerves Walks together on a beautiful day just talking Coloring together - yes, in a coloring book. Share a page. Anything thing that will help your/ her heart heal. It's bruised and sore but that fades in time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 She actually loves tea! Will look into that for her. Would and iced tea version work as well? Absolutely! I love cool or iced herbals. Also, I came back here to add: you both need to take the time and allow yourselves to mourn. You've experienced loss. It's necessary to feel the feelings associated with that in order to come to a place where you can set it down and carry on with peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I am so sorry! :grouphug: My two best remedies when I'm hit like that (outside faith) are: 1. CHANGE OF SCENERY!! Take a road trip, plan a fun picnic with fun foods...ya know cut up those sandwiches into heart shapes, put peanuts in your coke, go buy some sparklers and just celebrate your daughter and what life should be!! 2. EXERCISE!! Again with above, maybe take bikes out, go rent some waverunners and take her on the lake...cheaper options...go swinging together at a park...have races/strength challenges...get you both moving and laughing..don't sit at home and be reminded of what happened..change that scene! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 Thanks for the ideas! Tea is brewing, a movie (Kung Fu Panda) is on today's agenda, smores for dessert later, and a nice long dip in the pool tonight are a great start I think.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 :grouphug: I can't add much to what has already been said. Meditation might help if you do that sort of thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Tapping(youtube) Hypno therapy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I agree with getting exercise of some kind even if you just walk the dog. Art time can be healing, stringing beads, painting ceramics, sewing art quilts might be just the thing to take your mind off trouble and work through anger. Also you might get some Christmas gifts marked off your list early. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Thanks for the ideas! Tea is brewing, a movie (Kung Fu Panda) is on today's agenda, smores for dessert later, and a nice long dip in the pool tonight are a great start I think.:) Sounds like you are off to a good start!:001_smile: So sorry the week was so awful --:grouphug: I meditate (deep breathing) - 'present moment awareness' (I think there is a book by shannon Duncan with the same title) -- I resisted it for awhile, but it has been an enormous help in my life and the life of my children (all five of them!). and, sweat dripping out of every pore exercise -- something as simple as Leslie Sansone's Three Mile Power Walk is so good for me (I add it on to the Jillian Michaels' Shred dvds that I do every day) Leslie is kind of the anti-Jillian.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missiemick Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 No specific ideas but I would do something that reminds you both how special you are and then leave it at that. I'd be afraid of spending too much time dwelling on the wrongs that have been done. Bad things happen -- now move on. KWIM? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ERue Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 You poor thing! I'm so sorry. :( Get some good B vitamins...like B12 or B6, and high doses of vitamin D. Buy from a health foods store as opposed to like Walgreens or CVS. Flaxseed oil is great, too. Huge hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I meditate and practice yoga. I find if I skip yoga for more than a week, the stress builds again. I do think, without reading the other posts, that you need to give yourself time to process what happened and to grieve. When friendships die, it's sad. When kids are the reason and you had to pull out your momma bear, it takes time to get that bear back in her place. I usually warn my dh that something very sad and angering happened to me and I'm going to need a couple days to work it out. I find he's a lot more understanding and realizes that there isn't something for him to "fix" like men so want to do for us. Back to meditation, I find that when I'm keyed up, I can't concentrate. On those days, I switch to yoga or I have a mandala coloring book I work on that helps my mind relax and focus. I'm sad for your hurt heart. I'm sad for your daughter's hurt heart. Mean people suck. I hope you heal soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Go into a dark, quiet room, close your eyes, imagine a peaceful scene and do five minutes of deep breathing. This activity is physiologically incompatible with stress/anger/anxiety. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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