4wildberrys Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 OMG!!! My husband's brother and his 16yo son are visiting from CA. My BIL is, literally, a fishaholic. So he has been fishing literally from sunup to sundown every day since last Sunday. In the meantime, I have been feeding and trying to entertain his son, along with my own kids, trying to make it a special family get together event. Couple of diametrically opposed problems here though: We are Catholic, BIL is Calvary and likes to talk religion and how wrong our church is. And has not had custody of son for a couple of years, son has been doing poorly in school because of teachers, and we HOMESCHOOL! So today we get on the subject of how bad public schools with the politics and teacher tenure in general are----and he tells me to STOP THE CONVERSATION because he doesn't want his son getting any ideas and he can't afford to homeschool :glare: Then, after fishing at the lake ALL DAY, he goes out for a drink with another of his brothers and then ends up fishing AGAIN at the river. When I comment "wow---fishing again?" to his son, the son tells me "Well, fishing is his thing. Just like being a stay at home mom and homeschooler are your thing." :glare: Really?? My 'thing'???? I swear. Note to self: NEVER have houseguests that don't share your philosophies in life. It's dangerous for my anger levels :glare: Oh---did I mention he asked me to do the laundry for him and his son. He doesn't have time while he fishes all day............... Praise the Lord I married the brother who's not a male chauvinist fishaholic. Really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Wow. Rude, much? (Your BIL, not you.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Why is he using you as an unpaid sitter? Why not take his son with him? And at 16, seems to me the boy could pitch in and do laundry too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 :grouphug: I dislike house guests too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4wildberrys Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 Thanks ;) I am sitting here drinking a glass of wine trying to cool my angry head.. And to top of my irritation, we are very tight financially this year and are struggling to pay for our expensive (in this town) gluten free diet. And BIL ate ALL the rest of the package of our GF cookies the other night, and then bought his son some gluten filled cookies for dessert last night, that only they can eat. AND nephew has been eating our expensive GF breakfast cereal every morning as BIL hasn't bothered to buy any food for them for the week and a half they are here. As he said today to dh "Thing are tight for me, you know?". Really??? We wouldn't know anything about thaat..........Argh! I'm sorry if I sound petty. I'm really not at all. I just am really frustrated right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Sure, upstairs windows get the best air flow. Did they forget their deodorant? I told you not to serve the bean dip!! --- jk :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 It certainly appears that you need to convert to BIL's religion immediately, so you, too, can adopt his charitable and humble ways. :001_rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Why is he using you as an unpaid sitter? Why not take his son with him? And at 16, seems to me the boy could pitch in and do laundry too. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassyscrapperinid Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Why is he using you as an unpaid sitter? Why not take his son with him? And at 16, seems to me the boy could pitch in and do laundry too. :iagree: and :grouphug: I used to hate it when the in laws would visit. I am so grateful that I can say used to. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 What kind of man doesn't take his 16 yo son fishing with him? :001_huh: I feel for you. My bil comes from CA for several weeks a few times a year. He is pretty nice, and we have very simialr political and religious beliefs. It's still just a stretch to have someone stay with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4wildberrys Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 It certainly appears that you need to convert to BIL's religion immediately, so you, too, can adopt his charitable and humble ways. :001_rolleyes: LOL---I know huh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4wildberrys Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 What kind of man doesn't take his 16 yo son fishing with him? :001_huh: I feel for you. My bil comes from CA for several weeks a few times a year. He is pretty nice, and we have very simialr political and religious beliefs. It's still just a stretch to have someone stay with you. Someone who is obsessed with fishing, no matter what. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4wildberrys Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 :iagree: and :grouphug: I used to hate it when the in laws would visit. I am so grateful that I can say used to. :grouphug: I like that. 'Used to'. I think when we move, we will most definitely find a house that's just right for us, too small for houseguests. Seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4wildberrys Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 Why is he using you as an unpaid sitter? Why not take his son with him? And at 16, seems to me the boy could pitch in and do laundry too. Because I think I am a sucker. Trying to be the Good Auntie and all :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Umm....WHEN are they leaving? Hopefully bright and early tomorrow morning, for your sake! I think I'd go nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Perhaps dh needs to talk to his brother? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 And to top of my irritation, we are very tight financially this year and are struggling to pay for our expensive (in this town) gluten free diet. And BIL ate ALL the rest of the package of our GF cookies the other night, and then bought his son some gluten filled cookies for dessert last night, that only they can eat. AND nephew has been eating our expensive GF breakfast cereal every morning as BIL hasn't bothered to buy any food for them for the week and a half they are here. As he said today to dh "Thing are tight for me, you know?". Really??? We wouldn't know anything about thaat..........Argh! Have you EXPLAINED to him about the GF items? because if you did not, he most likely has no clue about it. Many people have the understanding that guests are not expected to contribute to expenses - they may do so voluntarily, but they are, well, guests. If your financial circumstances make it necessary that he pitches in, you probably have to spell that out explicitly. I have never been a guest somewhere where I had to buy my own food, and I expect my guests to feel at home and eat to their hearts content. If your circumstances are such that you can not afford this, you need to let them know instead of holding a grudge. Or better; since it's DH's family, HE should step up and tell his brother. But I have learned that it does not work to expect things that have not explicitly said - men are notoriously bad in mind reading. Buy a box of cheap normal cereal for your nephew and explain to him that you need to save the GF variety for the people who need it - I am sure he will understand. but he won't know unless you tell him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4wildberrys Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 Have you EXPLAINED to him about the GF items? because if you did not, he most likely has no clue about it. Many people have the understanding that guests are not expected to contribute to expenses - they may do so voluntarily, but they are, well, guests. If your financial circumstances make it necessary that he pitches in, you probably have to spell that out explicitly. I have never been a guest somewhere where I had to buy my own food, and I expect my guests to feel at home and eat to their hearts content. If your circumstances are such that you can not afford this, you need to let them know instead of holding a grudge. Or better; since it's DH's family, HE should step up and tell his brother. But I have learned that it does not work to expect things that have not explicitly said - men are notoriously bad in mind reading. Buy a box of cheap normal cereal for your nephew and explain to him that you need to save the GF variety for the people who need it - I am sure he will understand. but he won't know unless you tell him. I know it sounds HORRIBLE but normally, yes. We feed our guests well! But this year has been very tight financially and dh explained this to his brother. But his brother is one of those guys who is bull headed and of course, always right. And I mean that with all due respect. Our GF diet is a HUUUGE learning curve for dh's family. Today----the ENTIRE time cooking BIL was reminded we can't eat that, we can't share utensils etc. as if he didn't listen to one word for a week about how careful we have to be with food. It was very stressful and irritating. MIL hijacked our ONLY knife for their unsafe food. And my sweet SIL just sat there and rolled her eyes along with us. BIL was told not only by us, but also by the rest of the family about the cost of our food and our circumstances this year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Why not take his son with him? And at 16, seems to me the boy could pitch in and do laundry too. :iagree: He should take him! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 You did tell him you were too busy to do his laundry, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Has he caught any fish to bring home and make dinner? He really needs to know the saying the fish and company start to stink after 3 days. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Sounds like he's using your place as a free hotel, restaraunt, daycare, and wants maid service to boot. Time for dh to chat with his brother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 I would love to have a nice visit with any of my nephews. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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