I just wanna cry.

[kchara]

:crying:

 

My DH has been trying to encourage me to do more things on my own, without the kids. But every time, and I mean EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I try to, something comes up, and I can't.

 

Case in point: He told me I could go to the Cincinnati convention. Didn't work out. He had his National Guard unit put him on duty that weekend.

 

That's OK, I can go to Philly. Philly cancelled.

 

That's OK, I can go to the RFWP one that's been set up instead. Right? Right????

 

I bought the registration. I got the room. I paid for the meal ticket. And he tells me last night there's a good chance we won't be able to afford it (airfare or car) after all. :crying:

 

I am so frustrated and upset. I really, REALLY need to get away. Last time I was by myself overnight, my 4th grader was in Kindergarten. And I was really, REALLY looking forward to this. He says there's still a chance, but the general MO here is that we come up to the weekend before and all of the sudden it's a no go.

 

It's not really his fault, I'm just frustrated. HE gets to go do all sorts of things. It's mostly with work or the National Guard, but he still gets away! He goes to classes, he goes to schools. THIS is my job, too! I want some job training, too, you know??? ((sigh))

[LG Gone Wild]

:crying:

 

My DH has been trying to encourage me to do more things on my own, without the kids. But every time, and I mean EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I try to, something comes up, and I can't.

 

Case in point: He told me I could go to the Cincinnati convention. Didn't work out. He had his National Guard unit put him on duty that weekend.

 

That's OK, I can go to Philly. Philly cancelled.

 

That's OK, I can go to the RFWP one that's been set up instead. Right? Right????

 

I bought the registration. I got the room. I paid for the meal ticket. And he tells me last night there's a good chance we won't be able to afford it (airfare or car) after all. :crying:

 

I am so frustrated and upset. I really, REALLY need to get away. Last time I was by myself overnight, my 4th grader was in Kindergarten. And I was really, REALLY looking forward to this. He says there's still a chance, but the general MO here is that we come up to the weekend before and all of the sudden it's a no go.

 

It's not really his fault, I'm just frustrated. HE gets to go do all sorts of things. It's mostly with work or the National Guard, but he still gets away! He goes to classes, he goes to schools. THIS is my job, too! I want some job training, too, you know??? ((sigh))

 

 

How about going out for the day by yourself to a library and bookstore. A full day of perusing and coffee drinks and pastries shouldn't hurt the budget too much. Make it two days.

[Twigs]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I don't have any links to share, but I recall some moms making a "do-it-yourself" convention. Get some audios from past conventions, some books (homeschooling, self-education, fluff, whatever) and the 1st available weekend - just do it. Maybe those who has done this will add their experiences. You might miss the opportunity to meet others, but you will get some alone time. Be sure to schedule something fun - a movie, manicure, massage, etc.

Best wishes.

[kchara]

I'm thinking about going into Kansas City and doing just that. I live in a tiny town that doesn't have much of anything. :tongue_smilie:

 

Oh, that was the other thing. I wanted to go to the KC convention to hear the Sommervilles speak, since we use TOG, but I cancelled that to go to Cincy!! ARGH!!

[newlifemom]

:grouphug: I'm sorry.

[dani3boys]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I don't have any links to share, but I recall some moms making a "do-it-yourself" convention. Get some audios from past conventions, some books (homeschooling, self-education, fluff, whatever) and the 1st available weekend - just do it. Maybe those who has done this will add their experiences. You might miss the opportunity to meet others, but you will get some alone time. Be sure to schedule something fun - a movie, manicure, massage, etc.

Best wishes.

 

This might be what you are referring to. http://smoothstonesacademy.blogspot.com/2009/06/creating-my-own-homeschool-conference.html

[kchara]

This might be what you are referring to. http://smoothstonesacademy.blogspot.com/2009/06/creating-my-own-homeschool-conference.html

 

Thank you! I might try to do just this. Of course, to make it up to me, he's gonna have to spring for an awful nice hotel room... ;-)

 

It's really not that we're all that broke, it's that it's so far away, and gas is SO expensive right now.

[AngelBee]

:grouphug:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Who manages the money in your family? If this is really a priority for the two of you (and I agree that it's a valid one), you need to start a "Mommy's Get-away Savings Fund". Money goes into that fun on a regular basis. Money does not go out of that fund except for Mommy's get-away. If you need to, make sure there is enough for last minute babysitting in case your dh gets called away. Will you get back the money that you've already spent on reservations?

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Luckymama]

Gosh Kristi, I really hope you're able to come :grouphug:

 

I agree with Jean---you need to make saving money for your time a priority.

[Sparkle]

:crying:

 

My DH has been trying to encourage me to do more things on my own, without the kids. But every time, and I mean EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I try to, something comes up, and I can't.

 

Case in point: He told me I could go to the Cincinnati convention. Didn't work out. He had his National Guard unit put him on duty that weekend.

 

That's OK, I can go to Philly. Philly cancelled.

 

That's OK, I can go to the RFWP one that's been set up instead. Right? Right????

 

I bought the registration. I got the room. I paid for the meal ticket. And he tells me last night there's a good chance we won't be able to afford it (airfare or car) after all. :crying:

 

I am so frustrated and upset. I really, REALLY need to get away. Last time I was by myself overnight, my 4th grader was in Kindergarten. And I was really, REALLY looking forward to this. He says there's still a chance, but the general MO here is that we come up to the weekend before and all of the sudden it's a no go.

 

It's not really his fault, I'm just frustrated. HE gets to go do all sorts of things. It's mostly with work or the National Guard, but he still gets away! He goes to classes, he goes to schools. THIS is my job, too! I want some job training, too, you know??? ((sigh))

 

:grouphug: Do you have a friend you could go with to share the driving and hotel costs? That would make it more affordable. Hope you get some good time away.

[sagesavannah]

Have you tried just doing a night out by yourself? Sometimes I will go out to the movies just to get away...

[AK_Mom4]

It's really not that we're all that broke, it's that it's so far away, and gas is SO expensive right now.

 

:grouphug:

 

I know exactly what you mean - we are a million miles from anywhere. I get around this by buying EVERYTHING up front - hotel, rental car, airfare, a visa gift card for meals, gas, etc... I buy it while we have the $$$ in our account for it. Then it's all paid for and makes it much less likely that "someone" will cancel because we have already shelled out the $$$$.

 

The more I pay for in advance, the more likely I am to get to go....

[A.J. at J.A.]

I'm thinking about going into Kansas City and doing just that. I live in a tiny town that doesn't have much of anything. :tongue_smilie:

 

Oh, that was the other thing. I wanted to go to the KC convention to hear the Sommervilles speak, since we use TOG, but I cancelled that to go to Cincy!! ARGH!!

 

Hi Kchara! I'm so sorry for you. I was able to go to the KC convention and most of the talks they gave are also available on their website for download. If I were you, I'd do a make your own convention like mentioned above - purchase some audios, rent a hotel room, make a couple day experience on your own.

 

So sorry! I feel your frustration.

 

Ange

[kchara]

Thank you everyone! :grouphug: There's still a chance I might be able to go, but I'm not holding my breath at this point. I'm just seriously bummed. I do think we're going to open an account just for a getaway for me. I'm so tired of never being able to do anything because of lack of funds.

 

There's no one to watch the kids at all. I have no IRL friends, and we live far away from any family. Plus, we've got 6 kids, 4 of them 4 and under, so we'd have to hire probably 2 sitters to go anywhere. Super $$.

 

I'm still hoping to come, but if I can't, I think I will spend some money and get me a nice room in KC, download a bunch of MP3s, and chill for a long weekend. Near Whole Foods. And pray for Nutella donuts. ;)

[May]

:grouphug:I feel your pain. Last time I got away by myself, my youngest dd was 4, today is her birthday and she is 18. I say this when tomorrow I will be taking dh to airport so he can spend a week fishing with his brother. Guess I need to plan something soon.:tongue_smilie:

[Teachin'Mine]

Is your husband very involved with caring for the kids when he's home? If not, it may be that he's terrified of having to care for the six of them without you there. Just a thought.

 

I hope you're able to find a way to go to where you've already registered. :grouphug: Let him know how important it is to you and let him know what you can do ahead of time to make it easier for him at home. You can make some meals ahead of time and even match up some outfits for the kids. I may be totally wrong though.

[elfgivas]

did you really just say 4 under 4???!!!!

 

no wonder you need to get away. i wonder if he just gets overwhelmed by the whole idea of being responsible for it all.

 

perhaps instead he can help you find a teen to come be with some of the kids while you are at home, or while he is! or a retired person....

 

or he could pay someone to come in and do laundry or clean the house one week a month. or he could commit to do that so that you can have just a bit of sanity time.

 

yikes!

 

or even he could come and be with the kids for just 15 minutes while you shower by yourself, or each morning while you take a walk. this would help him develop child care skills, give you a break and make you a team.

 

:grouphug: if all else fails, make tea, eat chocolate, play mozart....

 

ann

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

If he says you can't afford to go because of travel costs, just check into a local hotel for a night or two. Brings some books, take a nice long shower, watch a movie on pay-per-view.

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[texasmama]

Who manages the money in your family? If this is really a priority for the two of you (and I agree that it's a valid one), you need to start a "Mommy's Get-away Savings Fund". Money goes into that fun on a regular basis. Money does not go out of that fund except for Mommy's get-away. If you need to, make sure there is enough for last minute babysitting in case your dh gets called away. Will you get back the money that you've already spent on reservations?

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

:iagree: I have started a little envelope Christmas fund, putting in a bit here and there. It adds up without being a bit hit all at once.:001_smile:

[kchara]

did you really just say 4 under 4???!!!!

 

no wonder you need to get away. i wonder if he just gets overwhelmed by the whole idea of being responsible for it all.

 

...

 

ann

 

Yep, my kids are almost 10, 8, 4, 22 month old twins, and an almost 6 month old. :D I love having a big family, and I love having littles, but... I really do look forward to the day we can hire a sitter again. ;)

 

DH is super involved. I'm really, truly blessed to be married to such an amazing father for our kids. But, I do think the thought is rather daunting. Of course, he left me pregnant last summer with 5 kids for 8 weeks while he changed his MOS with the NG, so my patience is wearing thin in that department. ;) I spend all day here with them, I spend many nights and evenings with them when he works late (he works very hard), and I'm not expecting him to be perfect, just keep them fed, keep the house from burning down, and don't let them get so dirty someone calls CPS, you know?

 

He does let me sleep in every once in a while and things like that. I just really need to go AWAY for a bit. I'm waiting for the kids to go to bed, then we're going to have a heart to heart. Is this realistically possible (me going to PA)? And if not, I need a back up plan.

[Britomart]

If the peace-and-quiet part is more important than the convention part, have you thought about looking for a retreat house nearby? Monasteries and convents often have retreat houses, and you can pay for bed and board and spend a day or two reading and sleeping and praying . . . in blessed silence. (And I do mean blessed! :D )

 

The last monastery I went to even had cookies and coffee in the dining room, available at all times for guests. The meals were great; the bed was comfortable. And I was free to go and sit in a pew and pray while the brothers sang the services (beautiful!). And I could go for a walk on the grounds. And then just sit and read and pray and journal . . . I highly recommend going to a convent or a monastery for retreat if there's one near to you (and if your goals fit in with their way of life - I wouldn't go to party or anything!). Their rates are usually very reasonable too. You don't even have to be Catholic.

[elegantlion]

:grouphug::grouphug: I did a mini-conference on my own last year. It was very refreshing. I agree, you'd want to get a hotel, to get away. Even a few days can make a world of difference.

 

I'd find a nice place within walking distance of a decent restaurant. Personally, I'd shoot for a nice area in Leawood or Overland Park. If you really want to splurge I'd ask for a couple of nights on the Plaza. Then you could go to the Art Museum as well.

 

I get the money issue. My dh is self-employed. We never really know until the week before if he's going to be able to get off and have the money to go.

 

We used to save change (work has been slow, so we've been using it) and use that for our vacation fund.

 

ETA: How does one find out about monastic getaways. That sounds blissfully wonderful.

Edited May 18, 2011 by elegantlion

[Britomart]

ETA: How does one find out about monastic getaways. That sounds blissfully wonderful.

 

I've found out about them via my church, but I imagine you could call your local Roman Catholic diocese and ask about local monasteries or convents with retreat houses.

[elegantlion]

I've found out about them via my church, but I imagine you could call your local Roman Catholic diocese and ask about local monasteries or convents with retreat houses.

 

Thank you.

[Sugarfoot]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

I'd find a nice place within walking distance of a decent restaurant. Personally, I'd shoot for a nice area in Leawood or Overland Park. If you really want to splurge I'd ask for a couple of nights on the Plaza. Then you could go to the Art Museum as well.

 

 

 

Yes, do one of these!

 

You can stay at the Sheraton in Leawood, where the KC Convention used to be, and you'll be close to the Towne Center area. Lots of good restaurants, get a mani/pedi at the little day spa there, Mario something, my DH's cousin is the manager:D There's a Whole Foods right there, a new Crate and Barrel (I just bought new glasses here last week and they were a great deal,) and of course a big Apple store. Go to a movie, or Barnes and Noble, shop, read, whatever you want! If you stay on the plaza, same deal. I *think* my favorite hotel there is a Ritz-Carlton now, but I'm not sure. I can check if you like; that's the area where I went to college. And Paula's right about the Nelson-Atkins. Worth the trip, for sure, and one of the things I miss the most about KC.

[Britomart]

Thank you.

 

You're welcome. btw, I don't know if you're anywhere near San Diego, but if you are, I can recommend Prince of Peace Abbey, which is where I went earlier this year.